I wanted to rewind time; there was so much I would change. Panicking, words started tumbling out of my mouth. “No, I just, when I saw him with the bikes, I thought he might have—” Shit. I pressed my lips together to shut myself up, but not in time. I’d said too much.
“You saw who?” Dad asked, eyes hard. “Who did you see?” he pressed.
I shook my head. Fuck. What do I say? “I didn’t…I didn’t really see who it was…they took off so fast. But nothing appeared to be wrong with the bike, I just…” Damn it, why the hell had I opened my big fat mouth? This was going down a road it couldn’t go. I needed to fix this, fast. Inhaling a calming breath, I told him, “It was nothing, Dad, my bike wobbled, that’s all. I overreacted.”
Not believing my denial, Dad’s face darkened into an expression so menacing, it gave me chills. “No, you didn’t overreact. Some strange person lurking around our bikes was most definitely something. It was Keith and his little punk. All of this started when he brought that bastard onto his team. And no one else in the league has a bone to pick with me but Keith—it was definitely him. That son of a bitch, I can’t believe he’d go after my daughter.”
He’d said that in such a low voice that no one besides Nikki and I heard him. I was grateful for that. With no proof, Dad couldn’t really do anything to Keith. And if he said something to the officials without proof, Cox Racing would be the one who got in trouble. I didn’t want that.
Letting out a long breath, I placed a hand on Dad’s arm, trying to soothe him as well as myself. “It was just an issue with the bike. Something was loose. It happens, doesn’t mean someone did something.”
Dad’s eyes narrowed as he looked down at me. “Don’t be naïve, Mackenzie. You see someone around your bike and later you have problems? That means something. That means everything. Keith has gone too far this time. He won’t get away with this.”
He stormed away from me before I could say another word. Fear shoved the last remnants of rage from my veins. What the hell was Dad going to do?
Ignoring my crew and teammates, who were both congratulating and consoling me, Nikki and I hurried after Dad. Hopefully I could get to him before he did something stupid, like go to an official. While I was horrified over what he might do and what trouble it might cause him, it was surprisingly heartwarming to know that he was this worked up over my safety. Even though the situation was awful, it made me feel appreciated, validated…loved.
When I caught up to Dad, he was storming over to Keith’s area. This was not good, not good at all. “Dad, no! Wait!”
Dad was on a mission, though, and my simple words weren’t about to stop him. Pushing his way through multiple Benneti racers, he thundered up to Keith. “What the hell do you think you’re doing?”
Bewilderment clear on his face, Keith looked around his area filled with his racers. Pulling down his too-large aviator sunglasses, he calmly said, “I think you’re in the wrong place, Jordan.”
Running up to Dad, I looked over to see Hayden watching the showdown with clear confusion in his eyes. I pulled on Dad’s arm to get him to come with me, but he wasn’t backing away from this fight. Not this time. Putting his hands on Keith’s chest, Dad shoved him, snarling, “You piece of shit! You couldn’t have my wife, so you had your punk go after my daughter!”
Keith lost his footing on his weak leg and fell to the floor. Everyone stopped and stared. Even though the hustle and bustle of the world around us was loud, I swear I could have heard a pin drop. Hayden broke through the crowd to help Keith to his feet. Ripping off his sunglasses, his cheeks flaming red, Keith shouted, “You’ve gone too far, Jordan! This is my area! You can’t come here and—”
“And that’s my daughter your thug messed with!” Dad made a move toward Hayden, but I grabbed his arm, holding him back. Hayden and I locked eyes; Hayden’s were heated now. He was ticked. Not at me, though.
Keith’s questioning gaze focused on me before turning back to Dad; Keith’s eyes were dancing with anger too. “What are you talking about, Jordan? Have you finally lost your mind?”
Ignoring Keith’s question, Dad shoved his finger into Hayden’s chest. “I know you messed with Mackenzie’s bike. I know you’re behind this!”
Hayden’s expression went from pissed to shocked, then back to pissed again. “Don’t touch me, old man,” he seethed, flexing his fingers.
Remembering what Hayden had done to his teammates when they’d cornered him, I tugged on Dad’s arm. “Dad, we need to go. Now!” I hissed. Too intent on Hayden, Dad ignored me.
Keith seemed surprised and offended by Dad’s outburst. “Unlike some people, Jordan, I don’t need to tamper with racers to win.” By the smug look on his face, it was clear he thought my dad was the one who was capable of cheating. My blood began to boil, which made it that much harder to hold Dad back. “I don’t need to sink that low, Cox. I’ve got this little thing called talent,” Keith continued. “It’s something Vivienne often complimented me on.”
Hearing my mother’s name fall from Keith’s mouth infuriated me. My father’s hearing it, however, completely shattered whatever slim hold he’d had on his control. “You son of a—”
He pulled back his arm to take a swing at Keith, and there was nothing I could do to stop him. Dad’s fist connected with Keith’s jaw, making a sickening thud, and Keith fell to the floor again. Like hornets erupting from a crushed nest, the Benneti team swarmed into action. I heard someone shout for security, while others lunged at Dad. He pushed them off, then took a swing at Hayden. Hayden easily dodged, then set up his own punch.
“No!” I shouted at him. If I ever meant anything to you…don’t hit my father.
Hayden snapped his eyes to me, then he slowly lowered his fist. My father took his second of distraction to strike at Hayden again, and this time he connected. Hayden took a jarring blow to the face that clearly staggered him. I rushed forward to help, but a hand on my arm froze me in place.
“Kenzie! Help me get your dad out of here!” I looked over my shoulder to see a pale-white Nikki scanning the scene with horror in her eyes.
Knowing she was right, I helped her disengage Dad from trying to hit…somebody. We each had to grab one of his arms to get him out of there, and he kept trying to go back, to “finish the job” as he said. He didn’t settle down until we got him back to the trailer. I was shaking with adrenaline and shock when we got there. I had never seen my dad blow his top like that—ever. A new side of him had been exposed to me, and it wasn’t pretty. It also made me wonder: How long could a person stay wound up tight before they exploded? Maybe absolute control wasn’t all it was cracked up to be.
Dad looked sick when Nikki and I sat him on the couch. “I shouldn’t have done that. I shouldn’t have lost control. I shouldn’t have…shouldn’t have…”
I barely recognized my father. He’d always been so on top of things, so in charge of his emotions. But the thought of me being in danger, and Keith callously mentioning Mom, had unglued him. I wasn’t sure what was going to happen now. There would be stiff repercussions for this; you couldn’t punch someone here—at an event—and not be penalized, or fined, or worse. Benneti Motorsports might or might not have been involved with today’s incident on the track, but it was Cox Racing who was going to pay.
Dad ran his hands down his face as he stood up and paced his office. “Damn it, I shouldn’t have lost control. No one will believe me now…”
“Dad…” I didn’t know what to say, didn’t know what to do. I wanted to comfort him, I wanted to slug him, and I wanted to cheer for how he’d stuck up for me. I settled on gratitude, since it seemed like the most positive response. “I’m not sure what’s going to happen now, but thank you for sticking up for me. I know you were just trying to protect me, and I’m…I’m so sorry this happened.”
The residual anger in Dad’s eyes immediately fell away. It was replaced with such profound despair that I was instantly sorry I’d said anything. “It’s not your faul
t, Mackenzie. Nothing that happened today was your fault.”
I was about to tell him it wasn’t his fault either when someone started banging on the trailer door. “Jordan Cox? My name is Charles Collins, I’m with the ARRC. I need to have a word with you regarding an incident with Benneti Motorsports. Can you come out here please?”
Dad closed his eyes and slumped over, like every bone in his body had turned to jelly; he suddenly looked about fifteen years older. Reopening his eyes, he quietly told Nikki and me, “Time to face the music. I’ll speak with you both later.”
Hoping this wouldn’t go as badly as he feared, I nodded. “Good luck, Dad.”
Looking utterly defeated, Dad shook his head. “There is no luck, Mackenzie. No luck, and no coincidences.”
In the silence of his departure, Nikki put a hand on my arm. “I’m gonna go look at your bike…see if I can tell what happened.” With a heavy sigh, I nodded and watched her leave. Closing my eyes once she was gone, I wondered how I could possibly keep my mind busy while I waited for answers.
A low voice disrupted my thoughts. “Kenzie? Are you okay?”
I opened my eyes to see Hayden standing in the open door. It felt so wrong for him to be in my father’s inner sanctum, but even still, a small part of me was glad he was here. I didn’t really want to be alone right now. “You shouldn’t be here,” I told him, knowing it needed to be said.
He closed the trailer door, then stepped over to where I was. “Here is the only place I could be. Are you okay?” He put his hands on my forearms and examined my eyes; his left one was bruised and swollen. He was going to have one hell of a black eye tomorrow.
All I could read from his expression was concern, though. I didn’t get it. My father had slugged Keith and then hit him. Hayden should barely be able to look at me right now. “Aren’t you mad?” I asked.
His lips compressed into a firm line. “I’m pissed. Your dad never should have laid a hand on Keith. But”—his expression softened along with his voice—“are you okay?”
His sincerity warmed my chilly heart, but I had concerns of my own, things I needed to know. Recalling everything that had happened made righteous anger shoot up my spine. I trusted you. I shoved him away from me. “What the fuck did you do to do my bike? And don’t say nothing, because I know that’s bullshit. I felt it, something was wrong.”
Hayden sighed and I felt something in my chest crack. He did mess with me. “Look, Kenzie, it’s not what you think…”
“Then tell me what it was, because right now, I don’t see any reason why I shouldn’t report you.” Besides the fact that I would be fired once Hayden confessed how close we were, of course.
Hayden sighed again. “Okay, truth is…I wasn’t there for you at all, but I didn’t touch your bike, I swear. I just…had to check something. That’s all I can say.” His gaze turned distant, speculative.
Ice filled my veins. Disbelieving this was really happening, I took a step back from him. “All you can say? Is that supposed to make me feel better?”
Hayden shook his head as he approached me again. “I have your back, Kenzie, and I would never hurt you. Ever. You mean something to me. That is what should make you feel better.”
It was a beautiful sentiment that he was sharing with me—one that made a tremor of delight flicker across my heart—but I couldn’t risk my career on sentiment alone. “I fucked up with sponsors watching, Hayden. You know how badly my family needs them right now. Or…we did, anyway.” My shoulders drooped as the reality of our situation pounded me. “I have no idea what’s happening with my father right now. It could be over. He hit another team owner at an event. Shit. It’s all over…”
Hayden’s fingers were suddenly along my jaw, tilting my chin up to make me look at him. “It’s not over until you let it be over, Kenzie. Keep fighting. Keep fighting, and don’t ever stop.” His eyes were passionate as they flicked between mine, and my breath completely stopped.
I thought he would drop his fingers, move away, tell me that he had to go—because there was no plausible way to explain this if someone came in here—but…he didn’t. He just kept holding my face, kept sweeping his gaze across me, like he was searching for something. Approval? Rejection? I was such an emotional mess right now, I wasn’t sure what I wanted him to do, but I needed him to do something.
“Hayden…” Just getting his name out was difficult. What did I want from him?
Hayden’s face shifted with indecision as he studied me. Then he shook his head…and crashed his lips down to mine. My first instinct was to push him away, but my body was exploding with sensation and desire, and I couldn’t. It was like we were racing again, like it was only the two of us in a crowd of thousands. I pulled him into me, wanting the rush, wanting the heat, wanting more…so much more. My fingers tangled in his hair, raked over his body, pulled at his hips. It was like I was a caged animal finally released; I couldn’t get enough. I didn’t even recognize myself as I ravaged him, and it felt so good to let go.
He was just as unrestrained, kissing me like he’d been dying to do it for years. His tongue found mine, and I groaned and clenched his shoulders. Yes. God, he tasted good, like cinnamon and seduction. I wrapped a leg around his body, pulling him closer. More. I could feel the length of him through his clothes, pressing against me, and I knew he wanted more too. Yes, this is what I want, what I need. I don’t care that we’re rivals, that we’re enemies, that we are completely forbidden. Let’s just do this…
His hands were all over my body, clawing at my racing suit like he wanted to rip it off. The thought of being completely bare before him had me on the edge of another mind-shattering release. God, he just had to touch me, feel how ready I was, how much I needed him, and I would crumble to pieces.
But not here. Not like this.
I couldn’t do this while my dad was out getting his ass handed to him by the officials—while he was possibly losing the business forever. It would be piling betrayal upon betrayal if I let Hayden take me here.
Hands on Hayden’s chest, I firmly pushed him away from me. He was breathing heavier, his eyes glazed with desire. Swallowing to catch my breath, I told him, “You should go…before someone comes in here.”
He tried to return his lips to mine, but I held him back. If he successfully reached my mouth again, I might not have the strength to turn him away. My body was already screaming to let him have his way with me, to submit to every erotic indulgence he might offer. But no, I couldn’t listen. My head had to prevail right now—it had to.
As I tried to step away, Hayden pulled me back into his body. “I know I should care about that,” he growled. “But right now, I really don’t.” His arms around me squeezed me tight. “I want you, Kenzie. Every goddamn time I see you, I want you. I want to feel your hands on my body, I want your legs wrapped tight around me, I want to hear you moan in my ear, smell the lavender in your hair. All I’ve been able to think about since that goddamn bull is what it would feel like to be inside you, to make you come, to tear down the walls you’ve built around yourself…to make you beg for more.” He leaned closer, so his lips were almost brushing mine. “Racing gives me a high…but you make me feel alive.”
That was too much for me. Threading my hands into his hair, I jerked his face down to mine. When our lips collided, a satisfied moan escaped me. God, he felt so good. As our hungry mouths attacked each other, he unzipped my leathers and started peeling them off my shoulders. Every place he touched me felt on fire, and I’d never wanted him more than I wanted him now. But I still couldn’t do this here.
With a frustrated groan, I summoned every ounce of my remaining willpower and somehow managed to shove him away. Quickly, before my body could take over again, I moved behind my father’s desk. I felt safer with a large piece of furniture between us. But God, how I wish he would stride over here and throw me down on it.
Startled by my own desire, I held both my hands up to him, stopping him before he even started. “I wa
nt you too. But we can’t go there…and you know that. And that’s why you’re going to turn around and leave. Right now.”
“Kenzie…” He closed his mouth and frowned, like he had no idea what to say to me. All I wanted him to say was goodbye. Regret was swirling within me, threatening to drown me, and I didn’t want him to see me go under. We shouldn’t have opened the box, shouldn’t have tasted what was forbidden. Because one taste just wasn’t enough…
Eyes full of mirrored pain, Hayden murmured, “Will I see you later tonight? Like we talked about?”
God, I’d never wanted to say yes so badly in all my life. But what left my mouth was “No.”
I can’t. And you can’t either.
Hayden stared at me a second longer, then he turned and started for the door. As he was opening it, I found myself saying his name. When he looked back at me, I whispered, “Thank you for not hurting my father today. I know you could have, but you didn’t…and that…means a lot to me.” He probably could have taken my father out with one hit, if he’d been so inclined, but when I’d asked, he’d backed down. And he was on his way to sporting a black eye now because of it. I owed him for that.
A brief smile graced Hayden’s face. “Every day I find there is less and less that I wouldn’t do for you, Kenzie…and that scares the shit out of me.”
He vanished before I could respond.
Chapter 14
The final verdict on my bike was that the normal wear and tear on the front forks had caused them to vibrate. It would have been fine for me to maintain my speed and there was no reason for me to slow down like I had. I’d overreacted, and all of us had suffered.
The officials decided to penalize every Cox racer in the event by adding thirty seconds to our time. That might not sound like much, but in our world, it was huge. I slipped from eighth to tenth. Eli and Ralph finished even farther back. They were both pissed, but there was nothing they could do, nothing any of us could do. Dad had stepped way out of line, and the organization was making an example of him.