Hayden’s friend took his confused silence as an opportunity to hit on me. “So, pretty young thing. Are we going to be properly introduced, or would you like me to keep calling you ‘Felicia lookalike’?”
He tried to slip an arm around me, but I shoved him off. “My name is Mackenzie, and I don’t like to be touched.”
He bowed, like I’d said my name was Queen Mackenzie. “Name’s Tony, but everybody calls me Hookup.”
“Why?” I asked, wondering if I really wanted to know.
With a Cheshire smile, he spread his hands wide. “Because anything you need, I can hook you up.” He smacked the large guy beside him. “This here is Grunts.”
I was about to ask why again when the man grunted at me. Okay, no explanation needed. “And you guys help Hayden with this…stuff?” I indicated the gambling going on around me. Another race was about to start.
“Kenzie…” Hayden whispered, but Hookup rode right over him.
“Yeah, we totally hook him up. Plan all his events, even those out of state. My sister Izzy helps too sometimes, when she can. She’s got a kid, so she can’t do all this late-night shit.”
My eyes boggled as my mind spun. Well, wasn’t he a fountain of information. I was about to probe for more, but Hayden grabbed my hand and started pulling me away. “Can I talk to you for a second?”
Glaring at him, I stated, “I think Hookup is doing just fine explaining things. You have something different to add?”
Mouth in a hard line, he nodded. “Yeah, I do…please.”
He indicated down the street, and I reluctantly let him lead me away. “Fine.” When we’d gone a few steps, I said, “You never quit this, did you? You told me I’d witnessed your last race, but that was just bullshit to keep me quiet, huh?”
Hayden sighed. “No, it wasn’t. I really did think I was done. I was done. But—”
Yanking my hand away, I spun to face him. “But what? You realize what the officials will do if they catch you? It’s not a fine. They’ll ban you from the sport…for life. And everything you told me you wanted for yourself will go up in smoke.” I snapped my fingers to emphasize my point. “Do you really want to risk that…for money? Are you really that shortsighted?”
“It’s not about the money,” he said, his eyes pleading. “I don’t expect you to understand…but I don’t have a choice.”
Really? That was how he was going to play this? “You’re right, Hayden, I don’t understand. Care to enlighten me?”
Hayden scrubbed his sweaty blond hair into a sexy, rumpled mess. “Look, I’m really sorry you and your friends almost got ran over, but I don’t think now is the—”
“Start talking,” I interrupted. “Or I start making phone calls.”
It was a total bluff—I needed him too much to turn him in—but he seemed genuinely concerned that I would. “It’s Izzy,” he finally whispered.
I wasn’t sure what I’d been expecting him to say, but that definitely wasn’t it. “Izzy? The girl you said was like your sister? Why would she…?” A slice of that ugly jealousy returned. So he was risking his career…for a woman. I wanted to turn away, I wanted to run away. But I wanted answers more…so I stayed.
“It’s not what you think,” he quickly added. “It’s Izzy’s daughter, Antonia. You know…the kid you saw me with?” Now I was even more confused. What did her daughter have to do with this? Unless…“You lied about that too, didn’t you? She is yours.”
Hayden let out a heavy exhale as he shook his head. “No, she’s not mine. Not by blood, but she’s my responsibility. She’s family.” He looked back at his friends. “I was going to quit. I was going to get out, but Antonia…she got real sick a few years ago. Leukemia.” His weary eyes swung back to mine. “We thought she’d beaten it, thought she was in the clear, but…it’s back. And Izzy tries, but she’s a single mom, she’s barely staying afloat as it is, she can’t afford…” He hung his head. “Do you have any idea how expensive it is to have a really sick child? Even with help from the children’s hospital? Izzy can’t work, not full-time, so…I do what I can to help her out.”
Hayden lifted his eyes to mine, and our gazes locked. Holy shit. He wasn’t risking it all for money…he was risking it all for a child. A sick child. Jesus. His selflessness blew me away. If only I could tell people about this, they’d see him in a completely different light. I knew I did.
As he stared at me, I felt like I should respond in some way, I just had no clue what to say. Even though I didn’t have any kids myself, I couldn’t imagine the constant fear of losing a child. “I’m…I’m so…What she’s going through…that’s awful.”
Hayden’s lips compressed and a determined fire lit his eyes. “Izzy’s entire life is that kid…and I can’t let her suffer when I can help. Hookup, Grunts, and me…this is how we help them, how we’ve always helped them. I don’t know any other way. At least nothing that isn’t even more illegal than this is. So yeah, I know it’s stupid, and I know I can’t keep doing it or I’m gonna get busted, but Izzy, Antonia…the two of them are part of the only real family I’ve ever had. The only ones who’ve stuck by me through everything. I can’t abandon them. I won’t.”
I could tell from his tone that this was something he was truly passionate about, and it made complete and total sense; I couldn’t fault him for anything here. I mean, what lengths would I go to—what lengths had I gone to—to help my own family?
After a moment’s pause, I told him, “I need to get my sister and her friends home. They’re really drunk.” I couldn’t help but snort thinking about what I’d said to get them to stay put. “I told them if they stepped foot outside the car someone would shoot them, but honestly, I don’t know how long that threat will really hold them. And I want to talk to you some more about this. Want to come over…to my house…tomorrow?” Those words were harder to get out than I thought they would be, and I was suddenly a bundle of nerves as I waited for his answer.
He chewed on his lip before giving it. “Sure.” Then he smiled. “You really told your sister she’d get shot?”
I pressed my lips together to not smile, but I failed miserably. “Yeah…and I know…I’m burning for all eternity for that.”
“Maybe not all eternity…This really isn’t the best neighborhood. You might not be too far off the mark with your warning.” I smirked at him…then started to worry about my sister’s safety. Tossing my hand up in a wave, I told him goodbye and hurried back to the SUV. His response floated on the breeze. “See ya later, Twenty-Two.” My heart thudded in my chest. Right…later.
When I got back to the car, I realized I hadn’t needed to hurry at all. Everyone inside had passed out; they weren’t going anywhere. And thankfully, none of them had gotten sick. Daphne mumbled something about Jeff when I started the car, but that was the only sound she made the entire trip home. Dropping each girl off at her house and then trying to get her in the door was a painstaking process that I hoped I never had to repeat in my lifetime. My sister was the last stop, but thankfully Jeff was there to help me out. He laughed the entire time he helped me put Daphne to bed.
A pesky idea started nipping at my brain as I rode home on my motorcycle. A dangerous idea, a ridiculous idea, a brilliant idea. After I stowed my bike for the evening, I paced my living room; the thought wouldn’t let me sit still for a second. Hayden was risking everything to help his family. It was time for me to do the same.
The next night, I opened my garage door as soon as I heard Hayden’s bike in the driveway. My hands were clammy, due to both my idea and the fact that Hayden was in my house again. And there probably wouldn’t be any distractions this time to stop the heat between us from boiling over into something…wonderfully disastrous. But no, that wasn’t why I’d asked him here. Business, just business.
Hayden followed me into the living room after we’d safely hidden his bike in my garage. He looked like some damn Hollywood megastar in his frayed jeans and black leather jacket, and I reconsidered
everything about this meeting being just about business. Would his tongue wrapped around mine truly hurt anything? I honestly wasn’t sure anymore. But I knew it would definitely be crossing a line I couldn’t uncross, and I didn't know if I was ready for that.
With his hands in his pockets, his chin down, and his eyes looking up at me with raw heat in them, it was hard to remember exactly why I’d invited him over. “You wanted to see me?” he asked, his voice low and seductive.
“Yes…” God, yes.
Hayden shook his head, and then his expression completely changed; he looked worried again. Pulling his hands out of his pockets, he took a step toward me. “Look, I know you’re probably mad at me, and I’m sorry I lied, I’m sorry I kept this from you, but I don’t—”
“I’m not mad,” I stated, cutting him off.
His face twisted into adorable confusion. “You’re…not? I figured you’d be pissed.”
The surprise on his face made me smile. “No, I get it…you want to help your family. I do too…” I took a deep breath. Here goes nothing. “And that’s why I want to enter the next street race with you.”
I could almost hear a clock ticking down to an inevitable explosion as I watched Hayden’s features morph into a stern look that rivaled my father’s. “No,” he said, finality in his voice.
It felt like the air had just been sucked out of the room. Seriously? Mr. Screw the Rules himself was going to tell me no? “That’s it? Just…no? Now I am a little mad.” Closing the distance between us, I poked a finger into his chest. “You’re not the boss of me, Hayden. I want your help to get started…maybe even your…approval…but I don’t need you to do this. And I am going to do it. Cox Racing needs money—a lot of it. This is how I can earn it. This is how I can save the family business.”
Hayden rolled his eyes. Not swayed by my argument, then. Maybe he was annoyed that I wanted a slice of his pie. He needed the money too, after all. “I won’t race directly against you, if that’s what you’re worried about—I don’t want to take money from Antonia—but from the little I understand about street racing from Nikki, there are multiple events, right? Ones you don’t participate in?”
Frowning, Hayden said, “Yes, there are different…” Then he waved his hand like he could brush away my dream. “But, Kenzie, think about what you’re risking.”
I sadly shook my head. “My family is done at the end of the year. I’m not risking anything.”
Stepping toward me, Hayden put his hands on my arms. “You can still race for someone else, Kenzie. Don’t throw it all away.”
And that was when it hit me. No, I couldn’t race for anyone else. I was tied to my father, shackled at the ankle, and if he drowned, then I drowned with him. “I don’t want to, Hayden. If I can’t race for my family…then I don’t want to race at all. I’d rather quit than have someone else’s name on my back.”
Hayden’s hands tightened around my arms. I could tell that he was frustrated, but he understood loyalty, even ill-advised loyalty. “This isn’t the way, Kenzie. People get hurt out there, sometimes killed. There are no rules, no safety nets, no caution flags to slow everybody down. It can get ugly. Fast.”
His fervent words made my heart pound, but I lifted my chin and put on my most defiant expression. “So can I.”
Letting go of my arms, Hayden raked his hands through his hair. “No, I’m not letting you do this.”
Rage shot right through me. “Why are you being such an unreasonable asshole about this?” I yelled.
Stepping close so he could peer down at me, Hayden yelled back, “Because I fucking care about you!” In a quieter voice he added, “And I won’t lose you over some stupid street race.”
The fury inside me lessened with his words. He cares about me…“So help me, Hayden. Teach me what you know. Teach me the secret that will help keep me safe.”
With a sigh, he rested his forehead against mine. “There is no secret to keep you safe.”
Looking up, so I could see into his eyes, so that our lips were almost touching, I whispered, “I know…but teach me anyway.”
Hayden let out an aggravated groan. “Fine. Just because I think you’ll try and do it without me if I don't, I’ll help you. But for the record, I don’t like it.”
Letting my lips brush his, I said in a low voice, “You don’t have to like it…you just have to do it.”
A low sound rumbled from his chest. “There’s only one thing I want to be doing right now…”
Feeling reckless, wild, carefree, and—for the first time in a long time—genuinely hopeful, I murmured against his skin, “Then do it…” Before I could consider whether my words were wise, Hayden pressed his lips to mine, and I was lost.
As his mouth consumed me, awakening every nerve ending in my body, logic tried to rear its ugly head. This is stupid, futile, pointless. Hayden could never be an accepted part of my family, and I could never leave my family behind. As his tongue slid through my lips, flicking, then caressing, my mind self-destructed in an explosion of lust. Fuck the future, I just want to feel alive right now. And no one made me feel more alive than Hayden.
As I ripped off his coat, Hayden came alive. His hands were all over my body: my stomach, my back, my breasts. More, I need more.
As if he could hear me, he reached down and picked me up. I wrapped my legs around his waist and dug my fingers into his hair. Yes, take me away from all of this. Far, far away. Running his lips up my cheek, he panted in my ear, “Do you want me, Kenzie?”
I arched against his body, nibbled on his neck, answering him without saying the words. He let out a low, erotic noise that enflamed me, but he didn’t move. And I knew he wouldn’t until I answered him. Releasing my pride, I brought my lips to his earlobe. “Yes,” I breathed.
He immediately started to move. Blindly stumbling through my living room while our mouths furiously reconnected, Hayden shuffled in the direction of the bedroom. When he found it, he walked us over to the bed, then threw me down on top of it. The sudden movement surprised me, ignited me, and my heart was beating as hard as if we were racing, as if we were jockeying for position. Looking up at him standing over me, the hallway light behind him casting an aura around him, I licked my lips in anticipation. Yes, take your victory. Taste it, own it, claim it. It’s yours…I’m yours.
Crossing his arms, Hayden grasped the edge of his T-shirt and pulled it off his body, exposing miles of trim, well-defined muscles. I wanted them over me, on me. Wanted to run my nails down them and my tongue up them. I grabbed the edge of my own shirt, but Hayden stopped me with a word.
“No.” When I bunched my brows in confusion, a slow, devilish smile formed on his lips. “That’s my job,” he murmured.
Holy shit, that was hot. My stubborn need to prove my independence momentarily battled with the throbbing wave of desire that his words provoked. Slowly my fingers released my T-shirt, and I relaxed back on the mattress. I didn’t want to plan, didn’t want to think, didn’t want to dictate everything that happened here—I just wanted to feel. Lead me, and I’ll follow.
“Good,” he whispered as his eyes caressed my body. He slowly removed his shoes, then his socks, then his jeans. Seeing the outline of him straining against his boxer briefs made me squirm. Moving to the bottom of the bed, Hayden started crawling over me. He slid his hands up my legs as he went, and after a few inches, he stopped to place a kiss on my thigh. Even through the thick fabric of my jeans, it was exquisite. When he got to the tops of my legs and placed a kiss right between them, I cried out. Reaching down, I tried to pull him up my body. His smile still coyly seductive, he grabbed my hands and laced our fingers together.
“Not yet,” he murmured. Then he brought my hands over my head and wrapped my fingers around a post in the headboard. “Hold on to this, and no matter what happens…don’t let go.”
My gaze was incredulous as I stared at him; his was confident, powerful, and seductive. My body trembled with excitement, and I realized I wanted to com
pletely let go, wanted to let him command me. It was a heady feeling, one I wasn’t used to—I’d always held on to control so tightly. My diet, my exercise routine, my daily schedule. Before Hayden, everything about me had screamed order. And all I wanted right now was to be screaming something else. I was positive Hayden could make me do that…if I let him.
Clenching the wood tight in my fingers, I closed my eyes and dropped my head back. Yes…do whatever you want to me.
He hummed an approving noise as he returned to my jeans. He popped open the button and I started breathing heavier. He unzipped them and I bit my lip and squeezed the wooden post so hard my knuckles were surely white. In one fluid movement, he had my jeans off. And then his hands and lips started over on their path up my legs. Once he was at the top again, I was moaning with need, just on the verge of begging. I felt his thumb graze me through my underwear and I gasped as my world begin to spin; everything was so intensified. I was drunk on him.
I felt his hot mouth hovering just above where I wanted him. God, yes, kiss me there again. “Mmm, you’re so fucking wet,” he murmured, his thumb coming out to touch me again. “Is this for me?”
He paused everything he was doing, and I knew he wouldn’t move again until I answered him. “Yes…” As if to praise me for my answer, he swept my underwear aside and ran his tongue up me once, tasting me. I screamed out, “Yes, God, yes!”
Hayden’s tongue returned to me, stroking me to a point where I couldn’t form coherent words anymore. Then he stopped, and I could barely catch my breath. Him either. “Fuck, you taste good. I don’t want to stop, but I can’t leave half of you untouched…”
He started kissing his way up my stomach while he slid his hands behind me to unhook my bra. When he released the fabric, I gasped, then groaned. I’d never wanted a mouth on my nipples so much in all my life. I arched my back, begging him to explore me. His tongue burned a trail along my skin. When he finally reached my nipple, I bucked beneath him as the fire surged through me. Why does everything feel so goddamn good?