And look where love got them. At least they died together.
Would Mom and Dad have liked Michael? Or would they have looked at his long hair and deemed him the wrong kind of guy for their daughter? No, she didn’t think so. Mom would have liked him. Michael would have charmed the pants off of her. Dad would have had reservations. He didn’t think any guy was good enough for his daughter. He’d never liked Craig Strathmore. Well, he’d been right about that one. Craig had been a crappy boyfriend, right up until the moment he’d tried to kill her.
“It’ll be dark soon,” the little girl said again.
Clementine looked at the sky. Above her, Canadian Geese flew in a crooked double line, honking to each other in a language only they could understand. The sun was retreating steadily into the row of houses in the horizon. The day would end and another would take its place. The geese would land on a beach and honk and crap everywhere. But Michael wouldn’t be there to see it. He’d never see anything again. And she was stuck at that bus stop, unable to do anything but stare blankly into the red sky, wondering what she could do to make the pain go away for good.
And it didn’t help that the children were talking about their pasts as if everything that happened was normal.
It’s not fair, Heath. They shouldn’t be sharing these stories. Their biggest problem should be going to bed while it’s still light out. How I used to hate that, especially since you got to stay up later. I remember standing on my bed, looking out the window, wondering about all the things I was missing out on.
Numb. She felt so numb. Or maybe it was the cold seeping in. Her fingers were clenched tightly in her lap. Clementine looked down. The entire front of her shirt was soaked in blood. She wasn’t sure how much of it was her own. Blood covered her pants. Michael’s blood too. The final remains of what had been his life, staining her shoes.
Michael’s hands would never play guitar again. Fingers full of callouses from hours of practicing. How she wished she’d recorded him singing one of his songs. She’d give anything to hear his voice one last time. She’d never get to wake up next to him and listen to one of his silly jokes about how his brain couldn’t function until he’d filtered it with a few cups of coffee.
Lots of sugar. Creamer if they could find it.
She thought about the first time she met him, back in the diner. Sitting at the table in the dark, she’d trusted him instantly. He’d appeared broken, stuck in his own suffering. It wasn’t until several months later that he’d told her the story about how he’d lost the people in his group. How the Baggers attacked and Michael fled.
“I was a coward,” he said.
But he hadn’t been. Not the Michael she knew. No, Michael was a million things but coward wasn’t one of them. He had been brave and strong; always knowing the right things to say to make her laugh when all Clementine wanted to do was cry. He’d been kind and thoughtful, spending hours with her while she searched for Heath, sharing her enthusiasm and never once suggesting she was wasting her time chasing ghosts. He’d been love. The light in the darkness, always there to pull her close in the middle of the night and tell her everything was going to be okay.
Michael had been the best part of her life, but now he was only dead.
“My Daddy made us all hide in the basement,” Casey said. “We had to be quiet. Mommy wouldn’t even let us watch TV. She kept making us play Candyland, and my brother got mad. He didn’t like Candyland ‘cause I always won. We stayed in the basement forever. But the monsters still found us. I tried to be quiet. I really did.”
“I’m sure you were very good,” Janey said.
“I was!” Casey insisted. “But they killed everyone, even my brother. They took me to the big place and I found Mason. He takes care of me now. Or he will again. I can’t wait to see him. He’ll be happy that I’m braver now. That’s what I think.”
Clementine remembered Graham, Casey’s father. He’d been a good man, determined to do whatever it took. He’d been one of the luckier ones. Where most of the people Clementine met had lost a family member or two, Graham had managed to keep everyone alive. His wife, parents, and children, and even a few neighbors. They’d kept well hidden in a safe house until the Baggers finally found them.
Four stories. All of them similar, but different. Four children. There was one left. The others waited, but Janey didn’t say a word. Clementine found herself wanting to hear it. She needed the distraction, anything to keep her from thinking about the worst part. The black secret she needed to keep from herself as long as possible. A horrible memory that kept creeping into her consciousness.
“What about you, Janey?” Clementine asked. Her own hoarse voice startled her. “What’s your story?”
All the children turned to Janey, but she only shook her head. “I don’t want to talk about it.”
Just like Clementine, Janey had memories she wanted to hide from. But no matter how much she tried, she couldn’t outrun it.
“I told you about my Mommy,” Andrew said. “And I didn’t want to talk about it. But I did.”
“Me too,” Casey said.
“Yeah, well my story isn’t as good as yours,” Janey said. Her fingers tightened into a tiny fist. Clementine understood. Janey’s knife. Clementine had lost it during the fight with the Bagger. The little girl almost appeared lost without it. She opened and closed her hand several times before shoving Casey aside. Standing, she moved away from the bus stop until she was in the middle of the empty road.
“Wait. Don’t go,” Andrew said. “I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be sad,” the other girl said. “You don’t have to tell us if you don’t want.”
“My Daddy became a monster,” Janey said. “He hurt my Mommy and he tried to hurt me. I had to run. And I did. I left my baby brother with my Daddy and I ran.”
Janey glared at every one of them, eyes wet and shiny in the dying sunlight, almost daring them to say something. Clementine struggled to her feet, ignoring the fresh wave of pain in her shoulder. Ahead of her, Janey let out a loud wail before dropping to the cement. As she started towards the young girl, Clementine’s leg almost gave out beneath her. But a fresh dose of determination stopped all that. Moving quickly, she reached down and pulled Janey into her arms. Crossed legged, she held the girl tightly, rocking back and forth while they both cried. One by one, the others came over and joined them, until all of them sat in the middle of the Lougheed Highway, a big giant group hug.
I can’t leave them, Heath. What was I thinking? They’re babies. I’m the absolute most selfish person in the world. They may not have known Michael, but his death affected them too. They’re just as lost as I am. And to think I wanted to send them off by themselves.
No more of this. She’d get them back to camp. But first she would have to find a pharmacy or grocery store. If she didn’t get the bleeding in her shoulder under control, she might not make it. She looked down the street. There had to be more stores in that direction. A bottle of water to wash the wound and something to wrap it. How hard could it be?
And suddenly Clementine was determined again.
She let the children cry themselves out. It took about ten minutes before the last tear fell. By then, Janie was back to her old self with the permanent stubborn frown etched across her mouth.
“Time to go,” Clementine said. “It’s going to take all night if we have to walk. Hopefully we can find a car. I promised I’d have you all back by midnight.”
“Mason!” Casey jumped up and did a little dance. She grabbed Andrew by the hand and tried spinning him around. “Wait ‘till you meet him. He’s the best. I’m gonna marry him when I grow up. Right, Clemmy?”
Clementine found herself almost smiling. Almost.
* * *
They walked for a good hour before Andrew spotted the car dealership. By then, the sun had completely disappeared, leaving them struggling to find anything in the darkness. Clementine often thought about how much she had taken things like streetlights f
or granted. To her, there was nothing spookier than a completely blacked out city.
She made the kids hide in the parking lot, sandwiched between a truck and an older model SUV. Andrew immediately hated the idea of waiting there. It probably made him remember his mother all over again. And with Michael’s death fresh on everyone’s minds, everyone wanted to stick together.
“I’ll be right back,” she said. “And you’re not alone. You have Janey. She’s just as good as me, maybe even better.”
“What if you don’t come back?” Andrew clenched the front of his shirt tightly. None of them were dressed for the evening and it was chilly. The clouds were coming in fast and Clementine worried that it might rain.
“I will,” she said. “I have no intentions of ever losing you. That’s a promise.”
The moment she slid open the showroom door, she knew she’d made the right decision to go alone. The smell of death and decay hit her nose, forcing her to pause and reconsider. She couldn’t see a thing.
It’s the grocery store all over again. And I don’t even have a flashlight, Heath. I dropped mine during the attack. How am I going to do this? I can’t go in there. It’s too much. I can’t go through that again. I wish you were here, brother. You were never afraid of dark spaces.
She let the door close and sat down on the curb, trying to consider her next move.
They had to get a car. That wasn’t even up for debate. The little ones simply couldn’t walk the entire way. It would take days. They were due back in a few hours. If they didn’t show up by morning, Aries might do something foolish like send out a search party. Clementine couldn’t take the chance of any of them accidently stumbling into the mall.
She looked out at the street. There weren’t a lot of abandoned cars on Lougheed Highway, but they might have better luck if they strayed off into the residential neighborhoods. Picking up a vehicle wasn’t the problem. Finding one with a set of keys attached was the challenge. Clementine had no idea how to hotwire a car, neither had any of the others. Raj had said he might be able to do it, but he’d never tried. They’d all relied on car dealerships and rental places. Clementine knew that each dealership usually had a room where all the keys were stored. Usually they were hanging on hooks or stored in drawers. But each place was different and without a flashlight, she’d be stumbling around blindly, going from room to room until she got lucky.
Judging from the smell inside the display room, there were other things she didn’t want to find.
If I go into that darkness, I’m going to remember. I’m going to relive it over and over until I go mad.
Even sitting on the curb, she could feel the Bagger’s teeth tearing into her shoulder. She could remember stabbing blindly in the darkness with Janey’s knife, trying to find and kill the Bagger before it finished her off.
I stabbed two Baggers. I remember that much. The blade sunk into flesh. You don’t ever forget that sort of thing. Two times. One was random. The second was the Bagger as it tried to kill me.
Two stabs.
One Bagger?
Was it me? Was I the one who stabbed Michael?
No. Stop it. It wasn’t true. There had been two of them, she’d seen them. Killed them. Clementine got up off the curb and turned to face the store. Maybe she couldn’t go inside and that was fine. They’d find another place. There were millions of cars spread out around the lower mainland. They’d find one with keys.
She’d get those children back to camp one way or another.
Aries
They buried Eve at dusk. Aside from Aries, Raj, and Mason, no one else bothered to come. Many people had already cleared out of camp, refusing to spend the night after the Bagger attack. Only a few chose to stick around. In a matter of hours, Lighthouse Park had become a ghost town. Marvin and Betsy decided to stay, but many of the adults left in groups to take safety in other hideouts. No one wanted to take any chances.
Aries couldn’t fault the others. Jack had been too preoccupied with Joy. She’d eaten something earlier and had been sick for the past few hours. Jack finally convinced her to go to one of the other safe houses with him. With everything that happened, Aries agreed.
“Just because I’m pregnant doesn’t mean I’m going to break apart. I’m not going to bend over and suddenly have the baby pop right out. You’re all making a fuss over nothing.”
Maybe so, but no one wanted to take that chance. Finally Joy agreed and Jack led her off after promising to be back first thing in the morning. It would be good for them to spend some quiet time alone. And they’d be safe. Aries wouldn’t have to worry about neither of them for the next little while.
With Clementine and Michael still in transit, the group of people who had known and cared about Eve grew steadily smaller. Larissa was swamped with people showing up at the nurse’s station. Bumps and scratches needed to be healed and covered with her dwindling supply of bandages. She couldn’t exactly walk away from them. And who knew where Daniel disappeared to with that new kid, Jordan?
Raj gave a speech that Aries barely heard and then Mason and him filled in the grave while Cleopuptra, the dog, barked cheerfully. Aries sat on the grass and stared at the ocean. Everything about the entire situation felt wrong. How could one girl’s life mean so little to everyone around her? How long would it take before everyone at camp completely forgot the shy girl who couldn’t move on after losing her brother?
Aries found herself thinking about the fallen log in Stanley Park. They’d all carved their names into the tree a lifetime ago, back when they’d all first met. Back when they were still full of hope and determination.
Aries. Daniel. Jack. Clementine. Colin. Joy. Nathan. Eve. Michael. Mason.
Ten names. Two of which were already gone. Colin betrayed them by going over to the other side. How many more times would Aries have to watch someone die before it happened to her? Who would come to her funeral? Who would be left?
I’m sorry we took you for granted, Eve. Especially me. I should have been there for you. Regardless of how busy I’ve been, or how selfish, I made a mistake and you had to die for it. Just like your brother. I will make it up to you the only way I know how. As long as I’m alive, I’ll never let another one go unnoticed. I won’t let anyone else feel like they’re alone in this world.
No matter what happened, Aries wouldn’t leave until Clementine and Michael came back with the children.
* * *
She couldn’t sleep. What else was new? Insomnia had become her brand name. The thing she did. While everyone else dreamed, Aries watched over them. Of course that night there weren’t many people asleep. The few remaining were either on guard duty or sitting around the fire, too intimidated and worried to close their eyes. No one wanted to make the mistake of letting the Baggers slip back in.
Tonight she sat on a pile of rocks, the soft breeze brushing against her face as she stared out into the ocean. From across the bay, she could see the faint glow of light from the downtown core. How lucky for the Baggers to have electricity, especially on such a cool evening. What other luxuries did Leon hide away in his penthouse condo? Washing machine? Hot tub? Video game console for some Grand Theft Auto? Aries couldn’t even remember the last time she’d seen a television. The very idea of staring at a screen for several hours as entertainment, seemed unreal and a million lifelines ago.
Wrong. Everything was wrong. Why hadn’t the Baggers killed any of them earlier? They’d had the advantage, catching the entire camp by surprise. There’d been no shortage of panic. The Baggers could have easily taken out several of them and evened out the numbers.
Even hours after the weird attack, there were people still unaccounted for. Juan didn’t think the Baggers snatched anyone; the people had simply run for the safe houses in the city. Aries agreed. Earlier they sent out a bunch of volunteers to try and track everyone down. If they wouldn’t return back to camp, Martin, Betsy, and Aries agreed not to make a big deal out of it, even if it meant weakening the group by losing n
umbers. You couldn’t consider a hideout to be a safe haven anymore, especially when the enemy knew the exact location. Leon had managed to win without lifting a single finger. He had them disorganized and separated within hours. Aries couldn’t fault a single person either. She didn’t try and convince anyone to stay or go. She let them decide on their own. Just like Colin. She should have set him free a long time ago.
She’d known Colin would one day pose a problem. He’d threatened her once, telling her if she ever tried forcing him away, he’d go straight to the Baggers. He’d belittled her around others, refused to do anything helpful, and pretty much caused conflict with every single person at camp. Even Aries, who had once defended him vigorously, couldn’t be bothered anymore. Now she couldn’t think of a single reason why she tried in the first place. It wasn’t just because he had been Sara’s boyfriend. Her loyalties to her dead best friend only went so far.
No, she had defended him because no matter how much of a jerk he was, no matter how badly he got on everyone’s nerves and refused to help out, he’d still been human. A dying breed. Each and every one of them was precious. And if Aries could be the kind of person who would send someone out to fend and possibly die on their own, it made her no better than the Baggers they fought against.
There it was. She’d tried to do the right thing and it had backfired on her. She’d tried to see the good in Colin and in return, he’d sold her out.
But yet the Baggers hadn’t really attacked. Leon was up to something and she needed to figure it out before he came back for round two.
“Can I join you? Or are you going to hit me again?”
Aries didn’t look up. She’d been waiting for him. Now that he was back, she’d known he’d come. Daniel was different than Mason, who would have waited for Aries to go to him instead.