“Will you tell me what the chances are for the option you’re looking at?” Deidre asked him, troubled.
Gabriel hugged her more tightly out of instinct. Her small body cradled in his arms, he wasn’t able to remember the last time he felt so relaxed. Or aware that what he did was mostly wrong. He didn’t have a solution to her tumor. He was endangering her life by giving her hope and risking his emotions by remaining with her. Fate’s lesson was a good one. Past-Death was beaten only by acting out of something other than duty.
He wanted to throw duty out the window when it came to his mate.
“Under ten percent,” he replied.
“Wow. How far under?”
He hesitated. “Closer to one percent.”
“That bad? And you’re a deity?”
“A baby one,” he said with a snort.
“Didn’t I leave you an instruction manual?”
“Fuck,” he muttered. “You would’ve burnt the place down on your way out the door if you could.”
She laughed. “I am so sorry for what I was, Gabriel.”
“No. You aren’t apologizing for her.”
“If I knew three years ago, I might not have trusted Wynn.”
“Deidre,” he said. “I can’t fix that. But I might be able to help you.”
She didn’t ask how. She either didn’t believe him or didn’t want to know. From what he’d read in her mind, it was both. His plan took Wynn, Andre, the oldest of the Healers he knew and his own magic, and the best he was able to come up with was given a one percent chance by Wynn, whose mind Gabriel stripped to the core to ensure the Immortal didn’t deceive him.
“Will you let me try?” he asked, heart pounding hard.
“I don’t know, Gabriel. I’m kinda tired of having my brain cut open. If you fail, I get a shitty quality of life my last few months. If I succeed, I get to …” she stopped herself.
“Deal with this Immortal bullshit?” he finished for her.
“Pretty much.”
“What if I made you a new deal?”
“Oh, god. Another attempt at an arrangement?”
“Relationship,” he corrected with a smile.
“What do I get this time? Your left arm, two teeth and the trench coat?”
“No way in hell on the trench coat.”
She gasped. His arms tightened around her as she tried to squirm away. Gabriel hugged her tight, entertained and enjoying the feel of her in his arms.
“Easy,” he murmured. “I’m joking.”
She growled but settled, her head dropping back against his shoulder. His eyes went to her shapely legs. The knit dress she wore fell to mid-thigh when she was standing. With her knees pulled closer to her chest to guard against the sea breeze, the dress crumbled to the creases of her thighs and hip. A little higher, and he’d be able to tell what color underwear she wore.
Obliviously unaware that half his thoughts this afternoon and evening were on her naked, Deidre melted into his arms the moment he touched her. Her vulnerability shimmered around her in a way that left him unable to leave her alone, until he was certain the worst was over. The last part of her world shattered with Wynn’s confession. She was mentally tough but fatigued by the events that occurred since they inadvertently met on a night similar to this one. He was enjoying the sensation of her in his arms as much as he was there to comfort her.
“The deal,” he said, redirecting his thoughts. “Give this option we figured out a go. If it works, you define our relationship.”
“Not bad,” she allowed. “I notice that there’s only a one percent chance I get to make the decisions.”
“It was zero this morning,” he reminded her. “Positive steps.”
“Gabriel …” There was too much pain in her voice. “Maybe you should just take this thing out of my head and be done with me. Start over with someone who doesn’t look like your ex. The woman you were kissing was gorgeous.”
He grunted.
“I’m gonna have to train you, aren’t I?” she said and elbowed him. “When a woman says something like that, she’s waiting for you to fill in the details.”
“So it’s like a question, but the complete opposite,” he replied.
“Yep.”
“Her name is Harmony. Yes, I was sleeping with her before we met. No, I’m not anymore,” he said, thoughts growing dark. “She betrayed me to the demons. Another of my issues.”
“Oh. How do people mess with you? I mean, me, I’m tiny and blonde. But you’re … kinda scary, Gabriel, even if you weren’t Death.”
“One of life’s growing pains. Trusting people you shouldn’t.”
“Can I trust you?” Her question was hushed.
“I haven’t killed you, have I?”
“Your standards are low.”
“You can trust me. I’m flawed, but I will do my best.”
Deidre was quiet. It was not a good silence. He resisted the instinct that told him he needed to peek into her thoughts. She was thinking, which was good. She hadn’t rejected him, and he already glimpsed what issues he was going to have to overcome.
Assuming he was able to do what he and Andre planned. The alternative was that they killed her when they retrieved the soul in her head. The idea infuriated him. He wasn’t about to murder this Deidre to fetch the soul of past-Deidre. No, his predecessor wasn’t going to win this round.
Andre had another idea, one that might increase the chances of success, based on ancient myths from the time-before-time. When they left Deidre’s apartment, Andre was headed to ask his half-brother, Tamer, for help researching histories for more information. Gabriel wasn’t getting his hopes up, let alone encouraging hers.
“Deidre, will you do it?” he asked again.
“One percent is a death sentence,” she replied.
“I won’t let you go through it, if I don’t think it’ll work. What would it take for you to trust me enough to take a chance?”
She was pensive again. Gabriel suspected there was nothing on the planet that might make her interested in an option that currently stood at failure rate of ninety nine percent. But he waited for her response.
“If I did, and if it worked …” she started, paused, then continued. “Gabriel, what would eternity be like? I mean for us.”
He was silent, uncertain how to answer.
“I don’t know how you offer me nothing one minute then let me decide the next,” she added, frustrated. “Meanwhile, I’m dying and my world keeps crashing. Tell me something. Please. Give me some reason why one percent and an eternity with you beats out the alternative. Convince me you aren’t telling me we can have a real relationship just so I go through with this procedure you want to try.”
He heard the edge of desperation in her voice. As with the underworld, he’d tried to act in a way he thought was best since meeting her. Wynn’s information – pleasure kills – was still an issue. Meanwhile, Wynn’s level of Ancient magic made him almost untraceable. He was able to bypass Gabriel’s death-dealers too easily during his frequent trips to the lake. If he chose to disappear, the plan wasn’t going to work. If Tamer didn’t find the tidbit of history from the time-before-time about forced soul extraction, the plan was never going to have more than a five percent chance of working, even with Wynn.
Gabriel didn’t have time, and Wynn’s assessment that Deidre was starting to deteriorate made Gabriel afraid to give her more than he already had this night. He’d come close to saying too much since arriving at the beach. At the sound of her despair, he wanted nothing more than to reassure her that she was everything he needed – everything he wanted – in the mate he planned to spend eternity with. Beautiful, brave, funny, sweet. The gods couldn’t have molded a more perfect woman.
They had a journey to make together before they were in a functional relationship, but they’d never have that chance, if he didn’t find a way to buy them all time.
He couldn’t risk it. He couldn’t risk her. He’d been trying to walk th
at fine line all night. He was left feeling dirty, like he was leading her on with enough encouragement to keep her from taking matters into her own hands but not so much that her tumor grew.
“Okay then,” she whispered. “Never mind. Just … hold me.”
Doing the right thing was painful. Gabriel held his tongue. Their connection was strong, its calming affect on her the only comfort he was able to offer.
“Who’s soul is in my head?” she asked.
“We don’t know,” he lied. “Probably an anomaly.”
“Does that happen often?”
“Not that I know of.”
“It’s kinda weird, isn’t it? To have someone else’s soul in your head?”
“Yeah.”
“Do you want me to take the one percent chance?”
“I do,” he replied as evenly as he was able to. “One percent now is better than zero percent in three months.”
“Ugh.”
He waited. She was deliberating silently. At last, she sighed.
“I want to live,” she said, sounding unconvinced. “I think. The idea of this being my new reality terrifies me. Even if … even if you don’t want me, I want that chance. I guess if the operation fails, I’ll die anyway, right?”
You have no idea how much I want you. Aloud, he replied, “Instantly. No pain, no comatose state.”
“Never thought I’d consider that good news.”
Secretly relieved, Gabriel drew a deep breath. He needed her agreement to try, even if they weren’t ready yet. He’d figure something out. He just needed to find the right combination of factors that would allow him to withdraw the soul from her head without killing her. If that meant he took Wynn with him everywhere from here on out to ensure the Immortal didn’t disappear, he’d do it.
If it meant he went to Darkyn and made a deal as a final alternative, he’d do that, too.
“Maybe we can adopt an angel,” she added. “Toby said they need homes. So bizarre.”
“Gods. Let’s get through this before we talk kids,” he said gruffly.
She laughed.
“Trust me?”
“I don’t have much of a choice, if I want to give living a go,” she said.
“Good enough. You ready to go home?”
“Yeah.”
Gabriel stood carefully and pulled her to her feet. She took his hand but didn’t look at him, the odd melancholy stirring his instincts once more. A death-dealer outside her door – or better yet, on her couch – was all that would make him easier about leaving her alone.
He took her home through the shadow world. She released his hand as they walked into the living room. Gabriel watched her walk away, loving how much the clingy dress revealed of her body.
“I’m assigning someone to sleep in the apartment,” he told her firmly.
“Because of demons?”
“More or less.”
Deidre curled up on the couch, eyes thoughtful as she studied him. She was contemplative and calm, sad but not suicidal. Gabriel returned her intent gaze.
“You okay?” he asked, bothered by something he wasn’t able to pinpoint.
“I think so. I’ve lived with the idea of dying for so long, I’m kinda freaked out by the alternative,” she admitted. “It’s a lot to think about.”
“I’ll come by to talk later,” he heard himself saying. “Tomorrow sometime.” During daylight, when he wasn’t fighting the desire to make love to her that grew with the disappearance of the sun.
“I’d like that,” she said with a small smile.
“I’ll send someone over in about half an hour.”
She nodded.
He’d gotten what he wanted from her, but he didn’t feel like he’d won. If anything, Gabriel sensed something was off again. He pushed the thought away and took a portal to the lake near the Immortals’ fortress. It was dark and cool, the forest quiet while the waters before him no longer glowed brightly enough to be seen from the stronghold.
Landon appeared at once, and Gabriel waited for his new second-in-command to join him.
“It’s working!” Landon exclaimed. “The Ancient Andre’s mind magic. He implanted it in the mind of two Immortals. We tested them today. They were able to track the demons attacking schools. The spell lasts twenty four hours, but it works.”
“Excellent,” Gabe replied.
“We’re testing it out on death-dealers tomorrow,” Landon added.
“If we’re able to find the souls before demons, we’ll be back on track.”
“I still can’t find Harmony,” Landon said.
Gabe said nothing, suspecting he knew where the death-dealer was hiding out. He almost felt sorry for her. Darkyn was not a kind master. Why she’d chosen to serve a demon over him… was there any part of her that cared for him? Or had he been a simple source of information for her and Darkyn? He grieved her choice but also believe she got what she deserved for betraying the souls they were all charged with protecting.
“We’ll keep looking,” Landon said.
“Thanks. Let me know how tomorrow goes with Andre’s mind tricks. I’m going to pick up more compasses from Tamer,” Gabe said. “Send Cora to guard my mate. Tell her to sleep on the couch.”
“Got it, boss.”
Souls, demons, Deidre. For the first time since taking on the mantle of Death, Gabriel was hopeful. He had the right people helping him, a mate who reluctantly agreed to his plan to help her, a better understanding of when to break the Code and a plan to repair all that was broken within his domain on the mortal realm.
He’d turned a corner. It was time to pursue his duties relentlessly to continue to build momentum. By this time next week, he’d be back in the underworld. With Deidre in his arms and the souls in the otherworldly lake where they belonged.
For once, things were going in Death’s favor.
Chapter Fourteen