“I am trying to!” Python hollers back, continuing to fire. “He is a slippery bastard.”
The ship launches two heat-seeker missiles.
Chad says, “Two seeker missiles incoming, ten seconds to impact.”
Che yells, “Gimme a wanking break! That is bollocks!”
MCloud says, “10 seconds to jump point: 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1....”
The ship jumps into light speed just a split second before the missiles impact.
The crew sighs in relief.
Chad says, “Man, that was way too close.”
“I need a tranquilizer. That just was too wanking close.” Che sighs in relief.
Meek says, “Ship status?”
MCloud answers quickly. “No apparent damage, but some relays on the starboard side are fluctuating. Fuel is good. Countermeasures are empty; good thing we didn’t try to use them on the missiles.”
“Sensors are good,” Chad reports.
“Weapons are good. Ammo at 98% for the rail guns,” Python informs.
Che adds, “Helm and navigation both seem to be working.”
Meek says, “MCloud, go check on those relays.”
“Yes, Captain.”
MCloud gets out of the chair and enters the short hallway as the clanking of a metal object hits the ground.
Meek sighs and grumbles.
Chad says, “I will put his arm back on. I’ll go check the relays with him.”
Meek replies, “Thanks.”
Meek looks at Che and says, “Head to Reptilian space.”
“Roger that.”
“Go the long route and take us through some of the merchant flight paths. Maybe we will get lucky. Right now we’ve only got 5,000 platinum bars to show for this crap pile of a trip,” Meek says.
“Okay. I will shoot for the main merchant path to Hosan from where we are currently located,” Che says as she checks the star charts.
“You have the bridge. I going to grab some sleep for a bit.” Meek yawns hugely.
“Roger that,” Che says.
Chapter 5
After four days in light-speed travel, they are still in Wolfkin Space. The crew is restless with boredom when suddenly the ship drops out of light speed.
Meek asks, “What happened?”
MCloud responds, “Sir, the jump engines are offline.”
Cogg, still nursing a serious injury from being shot by Captain Ullas a few days ago, is still in the engine room trying to work. He activates the ship’s intercom and says, “Boss, the jump engine is cracked and leaking suction from the exterior of the ship. We’re going to need to set down for couple of hours so I can fix it. Sub-light engine is okay for now, but will need to check that also. We did take some hits from blasters that may have caused minor damage; that needs to be repaired as well.”
Meek grumbles and says, “Okay. Well, try to find somewhere around here to set down.”
“I have located a suitable planet that is close by that we can use to set down. Breathable atmosphere, dense vegetation, rainy,” MCloud explains.
“It will have to do. Che, head over there.”
Che responds quickly. “Heading there at sub-light speed. ETA three hours.”
“Very well.”
MCloud’s leg falls off and hits the ground. Meek sighs.
***
Three hours pass before the weary pirates are finally descending on an unnamed jungle planet to make repairs. They find a small clearing next to some old ruins that have centuries of overgrowth covering them. The ruins are barely recognizable. They land in the clearing. There also appears to be a large cave entrance north of their location. The crew opens the exit hatch and pile out. The whole area is green with jungle and wet from a recent rain.
Chad is looking at his sensor scanner and notices something strange. “Odd, there is a man-made energy source inside that cave.”
Meek says, “That’s okay. We’ve got two hours to kill, so let’s go check it out. Che, Python, Chad, grab some lights and weapons. Sean, MCloud, and Cogg, fix the ship.”
The first three grab some gear from the ship and meet the Captain outside. Python passes out the blasters to Chad and Meek. Che holds a six-foot magical staff with a glowing skull. Che shapeshifts the lower part of her body to spider legs. Her upper torso remains unchanged.
“Feels good to stretch my real legs. That ship is so cramped. Besides, if we run into something that is going to eat us, I need to be able to outrun you guys.” Che giggles.
“Very funny,” Chad remarks, not amused by this revelation.
Meek interrupts, “Let’s head out. Keep com badges on at all times.”
The two humans, the Snakekin, and the Arachnid start marching toward the large cave entrance. After wading through the high wet grass for about ten minutes, they arrive at the mouth of the large cave. The sunlight peers in a good chunk of the entrance but tapers off into the blackness. Chad checks his instrument, which is pointing straight in. The group heads into the cave, noting the large rock formations and stalagmites on the ceiling and floor. They see that there are entrances to small tunnels on all sides of the main cave. They also see a bunch of egg-shaped rocks that stand about two meters high and just about as wide.
“Those boulders are made out of pure feldspar. The signal is coming from the fourth tunnel on the right,” Chad says.
“Too bad those are not made of silver, gold, or platinum. Or some other expensive material,” Che adds.
“Yeah, too bad. Did you say pure feldspar?” Meek inquires.
“100%.”
“Umm, didn’t think that was naturally possible.”
They come up to the fourth tunnel entrance and begin to go deeper into the darkness. They go down the tunnel and notice some footprints on the floor.
“Nay chut fir blaz,” Che utters as her staff brightens so intensely that it sheds light about thirty meters down the tunnel.
Meek examines the path. “Footprints…don’t look that old. Be on alert folks. Python, scout out in front.”
Python grumbles. “Why do I always get picked to go down the creepy hallway of death first?”
Meek says, “It is your job, Mr. Guns-a-Blazing.”
Che says, “Grow a spine; besides someone needs to get eaten first to give the Captain time to run those flabby tires down the tunnel to get away.”
Python shoots the middle finger at Che and starts down the tunnel with his two pistols drawn. The other three follow, but let him lead by a few meters. They come to a four-way intersection. Chad points to the right. They turn and head further down, making a few more turns. They come to a metal door at the end of one of the tunnels. Python starts to grab the door handle when Che says, “Stop, you retard! It could be booby trapped. Back up.” Python backs up. Then Che chants, “Gy heu by wai.” The area lights up with laser beams sprouting all over the door.
“Magical trap,” Che says. “Not tu wes payui.” The lasers disappear.
“Try it now.”
Python tries to open the door, but it is locked.
Chad gets out a kit with some tools. “Let the Master do his work.” Chad attempts a bragging tone before starting to work on the lock; he continues for about twelve minutes as the others start to get impatient.
Che urges, “Can the Master speed it up some? We mere mortals are getting tired of waiting.”
He tries the door, and it is still locked. He continues to work on the lock. Meek picks up the mat in front of the door and sees a key card under it. He picks up the key card and slides it in the electronic reader on the wall just behind where Chad is working. The door unlocks and opens. Chad, not knowing what Meek had done, says, “See I told you the Master could do it.” Che and Python look at each other and chuckle.
“You are the Master,” Che says sarcastically, “of wasting time.” They walk in to a room that lightens up automatically into what seems to be a laboratory.
“Too big to be research. I am thinking manufacturing,” Che says.
>
Meek recognizes what this room is used for. “It is a Jack lab. Jack is an illegal Wolfkin recreational drug that is highly addictive and causes Wolfkins to hallucinate. Problem is that it is so addictive, people overdose on it a lot. Looks like they just finished a batch and went to sell it, judging by these empty bins over here.”
Python perks up at this. “Drug smugglers got money somewhere,” he says hopefully.
Che chants again, “Nog mah jue kit.” Her eyes light up and she scans the room.
“Wall in the back has a safe in it. It is magically hidden and trapped. I can remove the traps on the outside, but any trap on the inside will still be intact,” Che says, walking over to the spot on the wall.
“Juty say can tyyu.” The illusion disappears and the safe is visible.
“Well, which of you have a pair of steel balls?” Che asks.
Meek says, “I will try it.” He walks over to the wall with the safe in it and grabs the handle to open it while the others run to the other end of the room.
“Wait until we get out of the blast range,” Python blurts out loudly.
Meek jumps backward after being startled. “Damn it, don’t say that when I am about to open it!”
“Sorry, Boss.”
Meek sighs and grabs the handle again, muttering, “Here goes nothing.”
“Can I have your stuff if you die?” Chad asks just as Meek is about it pull the lever.
“DAMN IT! Would guys shut up for just a minute, please?” Meek yells, becoming very irritated.
Silence overtakes the room. Meek continues and pulls the lever, opening the safe door. Nothing happens. He sees four small bags with drawstrings. He takes the bags out and puts them on the table. He opens one of them and dumps the contents on the table. Sparking white rocks glitter in the light.
“Diamonds,” Meek announces.
“Whoa, a lot of rocks there! Finally, some money,” Chad says with excitement.
Che says, “Definitely a girl’s best friend.” There is a glint of bling in her eyes and a smile on her face.
Chad’s sensor pad starts beeping. He looks at it and says, “Silent alarm just started transmitting when you opened the safe.”
“Bloody hell, let’s get out of here before we have guests,” Meek says, grabbing the four bags and putting them in his backpack.
“Roger that,” they say in agreement.
They exit the room and run up the tunnel, trying to remember which way they came in.
“Where the hell are we? Which way did we come in?” Meek asks Chad.
“Umm, not sure,” Chad says, scratching his head while looking at his sensor pad.
“You didn’t map it with your pad, you dork?” Che says.
“I forgot to set it on mapping,” Chad says. “Sorry, guys.”
Che tosses up her hands and says, “Great, we are lost in the middle of a maze of tunnels with no map and drug dealers on the way to kill us. Maybe they will just kill Chad; the person wearing the red shirt always dies first. “
Chad is instantly alarmed. “What?”
Meek says, “Shut up. Let’s go down this tunnel. Take this piece of chalk and just put an X every few feet. “
“Okay.”
Che sneeringly says, “Yeah, so it will be easier for the drug dealers to find us! Why don’t you just put arrows to help them out even more?”
Meek says, “You got a better idea?”
“Nope.”
“Then shut up and let’s go.”
They head down a winding tunnel that has a fork at the end. They go left and travel about thirty meters until they get to an underground river. They can feel a breeze coming from the left as they look and see the river goes upward to the left.
“Bet that breeze is a way out,” Meek says.
“Yeah, probably,” Che agrees.
They begin walking up the riverbank as it winds left and right and then straight and begins to widen. The cavern gets larger as they hear strange noises echoing farther in front of them.
“What in the hell is that noise?” Meek asks.
Che strains her ears. “Sounds like croaking.”
Chad questions, “You mean like as in frogs?”
“Yeah, sounds like it.”
They enter a larger chamber of the cavern and see large frogs scattered all over the riverbanks on both sides. The frogs are about two meters tall and one meter wide. The croaking sound is very loud and the chamber’s echo effect makes it much worse.
“Can’t freaking hear anything!” Meek says loudly.
“Those are some wanking big-ass frogs!” Che yells over the noise.
“Let’s try and hug the river so we don’t bother them. They are mostly on the river banks!” Meek yells back.
Python says, “I hope those are not brain sucking frogs or something.”
“If they are, then you have nothing to worry about,” Che snaps back.
Chad says, “Zing!”
Python makes a rude gesture at Che. Che sarcastically blows him a kiss back.
They nod in agreement and begin walking cautiously down the river’s edge. They are about to pass the frogs when a frog jumps out of the river surprising the group and knocking them down. They get up quickly and begin to run, but the frog lashes out his long sticky tongue and catches Meek’s leg, knocking him down again.
“It’s got the boss, boys!” Che hollers loudly.
They turn around and try pulling the boss hard. His pants come flying off and they all fall down again. The group gets back up to run again, but another frog in the water jumps out and shoots his tongue out with lightning speed, hitting Meek’s bare bottom. Meek tries to run but the tongue is firmly attached to his buttocks.
Python says, “Screw this.”
He pulls out his blasters and shoots the frog in the head. The head explodes and cuts the tongue off. Meek falls forward with a long sticky frog tongue stuck to his naked behind. Python shoots the other one as well, but all the commotion agitates the other frogs on the bank and they begin jumping toward the crewmembers.
“Run!” Chad yells.
The group starts running down the riverbank with Meek right behind them, running in pirate boots with no pants while dragging the big frog tongue that’s stuck to his behind. If the situation weren’t so dire, it would be hilarious. Meek is trying to keep up, but the big tongue is flailing around and slowing him down. They run between two big rocks that are about four meters tall. Che turns around and casts a huge spider web net that attaches to both big rocks.
“That should keep those peckers from following us,” Che says as they stop, all of them out of breath.
Chad looks at Meek and says, “That gives a whole new meaning to tongue and cheek.”
“Or kiss my ass,” Che snickers. They all laugh, except Meek.
“Very funny. Ho ho, ha ha.” Meek mocks their laughter, not really in the mood for the nonsense. He gets up and tries to wrap the tongue around himself in a skirt-like fashion, but the appendage is too thick and sticky.
Meek grumbles, “I will never hear the end of this.” He gets up and walks down the river with his new tail dragging in the dirt.
The other three catch up to him and continue through the cavern as it expands. They travel quite a distance before entering the last chamber, where they see light peering in on the river at the end. This chamber is the largest of the chambers they have been through. They see a lot of those two-meter egg-shaped feldspar rocks littering the riverbanks. They continue walking to the entrance, not seeing the two enormous yellow eyeballs in the shadows watching them as they pass by.
“The rock formation in front us looks like a snake,” Python says.
At that moment, Meek puts it all together. “That isn’t a snake, it is a tail—run!” The egg-shaped feldspar rocks are Space Dragon droppings.
The massive Black Rock Dragon lets out an earthshaking roar and the whole area trembles. The group scampers out the entrance of the cave into the jungle, as they hear g
iant footsteps stomping in their direction. The Dragon emerges from the entrance as it spreads its overshadowing black wings. It is truly a sight to see. The Dragon is charcoal black with a rocky surface; the texture is what distinguishes this breed from Metal Space Dragons. Rock Space Dragons consume rocks and dirt, while Metal Space Dragons seek a higher metal content in their food. Rock varieties are usually much less intelligent and most do not have the ability to talk as their metal counterparts can.
The gang of pirates is running through jungle, not paying attention to the direction they are traveling. They cut through many different types of plant life and trees that have assorted bright colors.
“I don’t think it is following us,” Chad says, out of breath. They group pauses to rest a moment and gather their bearings. Chad checks his scanner.
“Need to head north, about a kilometer. The ship is that way.”
“Being chased by a Dragon sucks,” Python says, looking back to make sure the creature is not following.
“What are you complaining about? You’re not running through the jungle with your twig and berries flopping in the breeze and a frog tongue stuck to your ass,” Meek says, wrapping a big green leaf around his waist.
After a few chuckles, they head north toward their ship. It takes them about fifteen minutes of hiking through this rough terrain to make it to the clearing where the ship is parked. They make their way across the field and see Cogg putting away tools and welding equipment. They reach the ship, and Cogg sees Meek with a plant wrapped around his waist and a long gooey mystery item dragging behind the captain.
Cogg says, “What the...?”
Meek cuts him off abruptly. “Not a word.” As he walks inside the ship, the crew follows behind him, sharing a few chuckles and grins.
Che asks, “Did you fix it?”
Cogg replies, “Should be good to go.”
“Great. Let’s get off this stinking planet.”
Meek goes to the tiny infirmary room where Sean is cleaning up. The rest of the crew goes to the bridge and prepares for takeoff.
Sean says, “What the hell happened to you? Get up on the table, face down.” He puts on gloves and gets out the medical scanner.
“Giant frogs. Can you remove this?”
Sean scans the Captain’s body with the scanner and says, “Yes, but it will take a few minutes.” He pulls out a laser scalpel and cuts off the tongue. Then he sprays the area with some liquid and the rest of the tongue parts that were still stuck fall off.