"The grotto at moonrise."
There was no signature and I smoothed it out perplexedly.
"Where did you get this?"
"From Analia," he answered shortly.
Knowing then from whose hand it must have come, I thrust it hurriedly into my belt pouch. But Anatan lingered by my side, irresolution written plain upon his face.
"Well?"
He spread out his hands in a helpless gesture. "It is unfair!" The cry seemed torn from his lips and then he turned and ran from me as if I had been a demon of the night.
Wondering greatly at the cause of his outbreak, I wandered to my windows. It was not far from moonrise and, my heart pounding wildly within me, I caught up a long dark cloak which would adequately conceal my uniform. With this about me I hurried out
My private flier touched the palace landing stage and I hurried down the ramp, murmuring the password to the sentries as I went. The garden winds were cool and never had doomed Krand seemed so fair in my eyes as on that night when I passed through the Emperor's glades in search of that grotto where we had lingered once before.
I was early. There was no one awaiting me among the trees. Burning with impatience, I paced back and forth across the shadow-filled dell. But I did not have long to wait. Through the dusk came a white figure I knew well.
"Thrala!"
My arms closed about her yielding body, my lips caught the freshness of her flesh. But she struggled free and, with her hands to her mouth, shrank from me.
"What have I done, beloved? Frightened you?"
She shook her head and then in a bar of moonshine I saw the silent tears slipping down her white cheeks.
"It is I who am at fault, Garan—"
"You are tired, perhaps?" I broke in eagerly. "Indeed, I would not trouble you, sweet."
"No, no!" Her voice arose to a sharp cry. "How can I say it!"
Her thin fingers twisted together and still the tears dropped to wet the bosom of her robe. Then she seemed to gain some measure of self-control.
"You have done nothing—nothing, Garan, that was not right and beautiful and good always. You and I will have that to remember when—when—" Her voice failed.
And now I was trembling and a chill struck at my very bones for I knew somehow that happiness was denied to me.
"What is it that you have to say to me, Thrala?" I asked as gently as I might. "Do not be afraid of me, beloved."
"I am not free to live and love, Garan. Not free to choose joy in life. The decree has gone forth, for the good of Krand I am Thran's. And know now the depths of my sin. For I was Thran's when I stood in the Ways and called out the love you bore me. I have been Thran's since my return from the Temple of Light. Turn from me now, Garan, as you have the right. I have betrayed our love, being weak."
Now I felt the chill which had come upon me creep into my heart. "You are Thran's mate?" I asked between stiffened lips.
She raised her head high. "No, nor did I ever think I would be. When I first faced you in the control cabin of my father's ship, when our eyes met and looked deep into each other's secret heart, then I knew that no other might I ever honestly take to mate. For you are mine, Garan, and I am yours, though worlds swing between us. So have we been before and so shall we be again! When they urged Thran upon me I delayed and set aside, dallying ever, hoping that fate might some day prove kind. And when we stood close in the Ways, I thought that death had come to solve our desperate riddle, so I spoke. But we won through and now the end has come to all my scheming. This day Thran was chosen to lead the flight from Krand and I go with him. My duty has been made cruelly plain. I must set aside love. Aside, Garan—"
Her voice grew weak and at length faded away. She sank down upon the bench, staring wide-eyed out through the trees which masked our retreat. I laughed harshly and the bitterness of that sound was sharp even in my own ears.
"So the soldier must stand aside. You have decided that, you Learned Ones. Well, what if the soldier will not, Thrala? What if I claim what you tell me is rightfully mine?"
"Garan." There was a new force within her. "Garan, cruelly have I wrought, but do not force me always to remember this hour with more than sorrow. I have tarnished our love, but you would break it."
"I am sorry. I rebel no longer, Royal Lady. Garan shall go back to his place that Krand may profit." And with those words I turned and left her, not heeding the cry which followed me. For red rage gripped me and I saw all the world about me through a crimson mist.
When I stood once more within my own locked chamber I stared at the walls with dull, unseeing eyes. All night I paced the floor. But when morning came I had conquered my inner tumult. Through those bitter hours something within me, perhaps the ghost of my starved and defrauded youth, died forever.
I went through the days which remained to me calmly enough, doing mechanically the tasks which were mine to do. My experts labored in the wilds of Cor where the spaceship slowly took shape in its cradle. Zacat performed wonders in Ru from whence came tales of his ruthless rule. Anatan hovered ever about me, watching with sorrowful eyes. But I went my way alone.
It had been decided to send forth a beam of condensed energy, a directional beam, to strike upon the planet selected for our landing place. Within this gigantic tunnel of pure energy the bullet-like ship would ride secure to its destination. The invisible walls would ward off wandering meteors, safeguarding the voyagers. But there was no time to test our theory. Even now the coming doom hung heavy above us, a glowing ball of orange in the night sky.
Three weeks before the end we were summoned to a last mighty conference in Yu-Lac. It was no longer possible to keep secret the fate of Krand; the end had almost come. There had been eruptions and two tidal waves and a series of earthquakes, growing in intensity.
This night we met to select those who were to venture out into space that some part of. our world might be saved. Thran and Thrala sat together and before the Lord of Gorl lay a list of names. It was clear that those adventurers must be young and strong, well able to survive the strain of space travel. And few of those gathered there could so qualify. Yet no shadow lay upon their faces as they listened.
Name after name was read out. I was mightily pleased to hear that both Anatan and Analia were included. But when at length Thran was done, I rose to protest
"My Lords, withdraw my name."
"But we have need of you—"
I cut through Thran's response. "You will have little need for a soldier on your raw new world. I will stay here where I will be of some worth in the disorder of these last days. Nay, I go not. I am Krand's, and Krand's will I be until the end." I looked at Thrala. All the bitterness and hate was gone from me and I faced her smilingly. I saw her hand touch her unsteady lips and then move toward me. I was well content.
So in spite of all their urging I held to the decision I had made. And Anatan would have stayed by me if I had not fairly forced him into the transport flier which was to take them to Cor and the ship. Thrala came to me at the last moment.
"Beloved," she said clearly, "now you have given me a memory which is more precious than the treasure of a thousand kings. Until our next meeting, farewell." And in the sight of all of them she laid her lips to mine.
Then they were gone and we stood on the landing stage looking after that black speck fast fading into the distance. Zacat was the first to stir. He turned to me, his hand outstretched, his old wide grin splitting his plain face.
"You have been a good comrade, Garan. When we meet beyond the stars, we shall have tall tales to tell, you and L Now, farewell."
"Where are you going?" I demanded.
"Back to Ru. I am soldier enough to wish to remain at my post until the end." And his flier too vanished in the hazy sky.
I was alone.
Chapter Ten
Darkness
We were on the crest of Yu-Lac's tallest watchtower. My body was pressed against the stone; I could feel the chill of that contact through my cloak.
But there was the coldness of death itself within me.
"There it rises!" Was it the Emperor who spoke or had the dull pounding of blood in my brain beat out the words?
Behind the distant mountains there was a splotch of flame, a blooming burst of fire. A shattering roar. . . . The murmur of the frenzied city was eaten up and gone. But from the surface of our stricken world arose a javelin of light, up and up. A spear of protest hurdled against the gods.
One deep shuddering sob broke through my control. The Emperor's arm was about my shoulders.
"There passes the heart of Krand. Was it not worth the price, my son?"
"No!" pounded the hot blood in my veins.
I squarely faced his fine eyes.
"Aye," my lips formed the word my heart did not feel.
Even as I watched, the spear of flame spun out into the void. The heavens were dark and drear again. From below came the cries of a world gone mad with fear and hate.
'To the last, son?"
"To the last." I sealed the pact between us.
We turned and, side by side, descended from the watch-tower to the street. There we separated, he to attend to his duties, I to mine.
As a soldier I knew that from now on until the end I must use all my powers and all of the "men under my command to preserve order. I well understood that this was to be a thankless task. I realized the enormity of it as I hastened to the barracks through the crowded roistering mobs which packed the streets. No force under Krand's sun could hope to bring order from this chaos—but we must try.
Everywhere the mobs milled in hopeless confusion. Some engaged in senseless acts of violence, open street fighting, and looting and gutting of buildings. With a sense of pride which held even now I sighted the bright uniforms of my own soldiers as they literally fought to do what little they could to keep some small control. Every street corner seemed now to have sprouted an oracle. Some of these prayed; others shouted blame for the coming holocaust against the Learned Ones, inciting their listeners to acts of violence in a world gone mad.
I fought my way through, welcoming the physical action which kept me from thinking too much. It was hard to realize that my lady Thrala was gone, if plans had not gone awry, on her way through the great void between the stars to another world and another life in which I would have no part. I was not one to be resigned to such a loss. Far otherwise—then and there did I swear to On that if he allowed me another existence sometime, somewhere upon another world, as some of our people thought could happen, I would once again find the life essence that was Thrala. And then—nothing—no force of God or man would ever separate us.
Holding to that oath as a storm-racked sailor might cling to a life raft, I reached the barracks. Troops filed—trotted— out to face the chaos beyond. One might so watch an Ana trying to restrain a grippon. For every act of violence they prevented there were a thousand more come to a bloody finish.
The next few days were a nightmare of thankless, ceaseless activity. There was no real night—or day—only duty and a terrible fatigue of both mind and body. All sane life in Krand, it seemed, had come to a halt. The pleasure palaces were filled with those seeking forgetfulness. Half the buildings in the city of Yu-Lac had been looted and gutted. We made no arrests—there was no time—nor prisons. We delivered summary justice at the scene of each crime. Only a few continued to lead a normal life and attend to normal duties: my own men, to my continued pride, the police, and most of the Learned Ones. Had one needed proof of the evil wrought by the madness of Kepta, he need only raise his eyes and look.
I was kept so busy in those last days of disintegrating Krand that I had little time to think of Thrala, or to speculate upon the fate of the spaceship.
On the fourth straight day without sleep and little rest, I knew I must seek some easement or fall in my own path. Also I had an errand at the Palace. Wearily I made my way to the roof where my flier was kept. I exited into a chilly, wind-swept, blood-red dawn. Above me the invading planet hung its threat—a hammer to cover a quarter of the sky. I knew, if our Learned Ones were correct, that now the moment was very close when all Krand would break into fragments.
As I rose above the ravaged city I saw that we now had another remorseless enemy. Huge waves of water battered the lower reaches, demolishing walls which had stood unchanged for generations, dealing death to any who had tarried there overlong.
Acting on a sudden premonition, I pushed at top speed for the Palace. The Emperor and I had made a pact; I was sure he would rather meet his end in the clean On-given air. He and I could do no more for the world of our birth.
I flew against the push of a mighty wind with that same need for carrying out orders as had kept me at my post throughout these fear-crazed days. The flier controls were an enemy I must fight with all my strength. Beneath me buildings shuddered, shook like sapling trees in a vicious storm and there was a deafening roar of sound. My craft was no longer answering any control I could assert. As it spun I caugjht alternating glimpses of sky and ground. Buildings shattered their debris down upon the small running things once of my own kind. Huge waves rolled back, taking with them a rubble of stone-broken bodies.
Darkness—and with it panic which was like a body blow. All else I had expected but this, carrying with it all man's age-old fear, was far worse than any warning could suggest That lasted only a moment while something too huge to be eye-measured passed and was gone into space. Suddenly, I knew: Krand had split asunder and had added a new moon—or, was that Krand which had gone hurtling by and this the moon?
My flier was completely beyond control, smashed at and buffeted by the howling, screaming wind. Only the pilot's seat webbing had kept me so far from being beaten to death within. Breath—I could no longer breathe— Now, as blackness descended upon me, I saw—not the chaos of a world such as no man might ever look upon and yet live. I saw— Thrala—Thrala as she was and would ever be for me!
For a long moment there was an awed silence between my Lady Thrala and myself—who was now Garan of the Flame in the cavern world of Tav. Those scenes we had just viewed were too vivid in our memories, too hurtful even yet.
And—who was I? Garan of Yu-Lac that was—how far back in time, could any reckon that now? Or Garan that is —in the here and present, who could put out his hand to the lost one and feel hers lie within it?
Thrala—I caught her up, shaken well out of that daze the past had flung over me. Against me, my arms about her, no separation now—ever.
Forgotten was the room in which we stood—the now blank mirrors of seeing.
Search was ended—an end was a beginning.
Andre Norton, Garan the Eternal
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