I just kept staring at my phone, waiting for anyone to respond.
I’d texted Ian three more times. Called him twice. Called Alivia once. No answers. Finally, I dialed the landline at the House of Conrath. Nial picked up. But he had yet to hear anything either.
At five, Kai walks me home. He keeps trying to talk to me, to take my mind off of the possibility that my brother might be going to war against another House, but I just can’t concentrate on anything else right now.
I pull my coat tighter around my body as we walk across the street. The temperatures have dipped. If the air shifts over the water just right, I’d wager we might have a chance of snow tonight.
“Do you want me to stay tonight?” Kai asks as my house comes into view.
“I don’t think I’m going to be very good company tonight,” I tell him as we cross the last street and start down my block.
“That’s not the reason I’m asking,” he says as he looks down at me. There’s far too much weight in his eyes and it kills me.
I’m happy with the way our relationship is. But it’s becoming more and more apparent, every day, that there’s no going back for him. I can’t lead him on.
“I’ll be okay tonight,” I say, stopping on the sidewalk right then and there. Kai takes two more steps before he realizes I’ve stopped in my tracks. He looks back at me in confusion.
“What?” he asks.
I bite my lower lip. A snake seems to have taken up residence in my stomach, coiling about, trying to slither up, choking the life out of me. I don’t want to do what I have to do, but I can’t just let it keep going on like this.
“Kai,” I breathe out, twisting the hem of my coat awkwardly. “You can’t keep letting helping me be the center of your life. You need to have your own life too, outside of walking me to and from work every day.”
“What are you talking about?” he asks as his brows furrow. “If I don’t protect you, who is going to?”
I shake my head. “It isn’t just about protection. I appreciate everything you’ve done for me. It’s so nice to know someone cares. But…” The words catch in my throat and I can’t seem to get them out.
We’ve been friends for a long while now. But I can’t be that girl who takes advantage of him.
Kai looks at me for a long time, understanding slowly growing in his eyes. And I see his features harden, little by little.
My blood turns cold and I’m so sorry.
But I can’t keep giving him hope.
“But you don’t feel about me the way I feel about you,” he finally fills in the words.
I’m not an emotional person. It takes life and death to drag it out of me. But there’s a sting at the back of my eyes.
“I do love you, Kai,” I say. My voice sounds funny. Tight. Restricted. “You are my friend. My best friend. But I don’t want to let you have hope that it’s going to change into anything other than that for me.”
“I’m not in any hurry, Elle,” he says, his voice softening. “That could change someday.”
I shake my head. “But I can’t keep taking advantage of you. You do everything I ask, whenever I ask it. Helping me, I’ve let it consume you and take over your life. I have to let you go be you again. You need to find your identity outside of me. I think…I think it’s time, Kai.”
I know he knows exactly what I mean, because his expression grows from hurt, to disgusted. “You think I should take the cure? What, does that mean you’re just done with me for good?”
I shake my head, throwing my hands up to stop him. “No! Not at all,” I say, my voice pleading for him to understand. “It just means that I think we need to reset our relationship to something normal. If you’re no longer a Bitten, I’m not just relying on you to keep the Bitten under control while I work. You can just be my friend. It can just be simple.”
Kai shakes his head. “Nothing about my life has been simple in the last nine months. And…” he trails off. He shakes his head as his eyes drop from me to the sidewalk. “I don’t know that I can take that big of a step back like this, Elle. I’m happy with the way we are now. And you just want to go and shred that all up and piece it back into something that looks entirely different.”
My bottom lip quivers a touch. I swallow hard. “I think it’s what’s best.”
His eyes finally rise back up to mine. He gives a little frustrated scoff and walks past me. Back in the direction of his house, away from mine.
“Please think about it,” I call, turning to watch him go.
He makes no acknowledgement he heard me. Just walks down the road.
Away.
My giant friend, who loves music, and dancing, and has an amazing voice, but will never sing for others to hear. My friend who loves to cook and is always trying to fatten me up. My friend who has always been there at the drop of a hat.
He walks away. My chest aches as I see him go. But I can’t be selfish.
Getting my legs to move isn’t easy as I start back to my house. I’m stiff, frozen over.
I’ve never had a serious relationship in my life. The closest I’ve ever been to someone outside of my family is with Kai.
But when you love someone, you have to do what’s best for them.
And I had to let him know the reality. That he needed to do what was best for him.
I take a shallow, shaky breath as I open the door and walk up the stairs to my apartment. Ready for a long, hot bath, I unlock my front door and step inside.
“You have no idea the amount of self-control that took to not step outside and intervene.”
I jump about six inches in the air, dropping my keys as I close the door behind me. A tiny yelp escapes my lips, followed by a curse.
“Ian,” I pant as my heart pounds in my chest. I swear again, bending to pick up my keys, as well as Shada, who stands beside my feet, hissing at my brother. And the man who sits beside him on the couch. “Lexington? What are you guys doing here?”
Lexington looks up at me, his vivid blue eyes nearly glowing in the dark room. I check to make sure the blinds are shut tightly and flip the light on. “I’ve been trying to get ahold of you all day.”
“Yeah, I saw that,” Ian says as he stands and shifts from one foot to the other, his arms crossed over his chest.
“You really should try to keep contact to a minimum for the next little while,” Lexington pipes up, shifting forward, resting his forearms on his knees. “Charles’ IT guy is kind of an idiot, but it wouldn’t take too much skill to trace the calls to Ian’s phone to your location.”
I look over at my brother, looking for signs of injury. But he seems to be all in once piece.
“So, does that mean this feud isn’t over?” I ask when he doesn’t clarify. “Do I have anything to be worried about?”
Ian bites the inside of his lip and I can see the gears turning in his head. That means this is going to be complicated.
“It was a weird visit, we’ll call it that,” Lexington pipes up when my brother seems unable to form the words.
“What is that supposed to mean?” I ask, turning to Ian once more. “Spit it out.”
Ian lets out a puff of a breath, weighed down and frustrated. “Charles is down to only five House members,” he finally says. He sinks onto the arm of the couch. “When his House members were killed by Cora’s army after Liv’s coronation party, he escaped with only three other members. There were ten of them who didn’t go to the party, that stayed in Vermont.”
I never saw the aftermath of the slaughter, but the haunted look in Lexington’s eyes right now tells me it must have been bad.
“After that day, the other House members got scared,” Lexington fills in. “That’s half the reason you join a House when you’re a non-royal, there’s strength in numbers. Half of their family had just been slaughtered.”
There’s a weight in his voice. Had Cyrus not forced the Allaways to trade some House members, Lexington would have left with them that night and likely been k
illed too.
“My guess is they saw Charles as weak after that,” Ian carries on. “And well, he’s an idiot.”
“And annoying as hell,” Lexington interjects.
Ian nods in agreement. “I don’t know how quick it all happened, but slowly, most of his House members left, either off on their own, or joining other Houses.”
“I know at least five of them went to the House in Vegas,” Lexington says. “I still had a few friends there. They’ve been gone for a year.”
“But five House members are all that stayed?” I ask.
The number is shocking. Liv has been working on hers for seven years now, sitting at least at twenty-something members, and from what I know, she’s a smaller House.
Ian nods. “He’s been recruiting heavily for the past six months. Trying to bribe Born into swearing allegiance. Just last night he tried to buy off anyone from our House who wanted money more than a family.”
“Did anyone bite?” I ask as my brows furrow.
Ian shakes his head. “They all know Charles’ reputation.”
“Some of us were loyal to him once,” Lexington says, a dark look in his eyes. “Until we knew what better looked like.”
“We told him to back off,” Ian says. “Told him the threats need to stop. He agreed, but when you’re outnumbered four to one, you’d better do what you’re told.”
I nod. Shada hisses and I set her down. She goes racing up the stairs. “So we’re good then. You don’t need to worry anymore.”
Ian shakes his head. “I don’t think this is over, Elle. Just as we were about to leave, Charles pulled me aside.” Something clouds in Ian’s face. He’s never been one that’s very good at hiding his emotions. He wears everything on the surface. “He told me he knows it was our mother who killed his sister. This isn’t just an Allaway against Conrath feud anymore, Elle. This is Allaway getting revenge against the Ward family.”
A frozen stone drops in my stomach.
The mother who walked away from us so many years ago was a bad woman. Evil and twisted.
And even from the grave, she’s bringing pain to our family.
“The Allaways are vengeful people,” Lexington says in a low voice. “Charles and Chelsea were freaky close, even for being twins. He isn’t just going to let this go.”
I look from Lexington to Ian. The look he’s giving me is a more intense version of the one he held every night as he locked me up in Lula’s house.
“You think he’s going to try and come after me for revenge,” I clarify.
“Yes,” Ian says.
A sister for a sister.
That reality sinks over the room like a choking fog. It presses on my chest, sinks into my bones.
“Did you kill him?” I ask.
My brother’s eyes say he would have. “Killing a Royal is a guaranteed ticket back to Roter Himmel,” he says. “And a painful execution. If I can’t reason with him, I’ll have to find another method of delivery.”
Of death. That part is clear.
“I can’t move you back home,” Ian continues. “If he can come up with the bodies, he’ll send spies. They’ll expect me to hide you somewhere close to home where I can keep an eye on you.”
“The Allaways are nuts, but they are a close family, other than murdering their mother when they came of age,” Lexington says with a nod. “That’s what they would do in this kind of situation. They’d never expect you to be hiding in their own territory.”
“You’re going to let me stay?” I say in awe as I look back at Ian.
The pained look in his eyes says he doesn’t want to. “Lexington is right. The last place Charles is going to look is right under his own nose.”
A smile begins forming on my lips, but the tortured look in my brother’s eyes stops it from fully growing. “What?”
“This means that until I get this score settled we can’t risk communication,” he says. “They might trace phone calls. They could try to plant a bug in the House. They could have spies follow our people. We can’t risk any form of regular communication.”
“Regular,” I repeat.
“Lexington can hide traces through the computer,” Ian says, glancing over his shoulder at his fellow House member. “That will be the only way. It can’t be often, we don’t want to take any more risks than we have to. But he can facilitate.”
“But you said you couldn’t risk your people getting followed,” I say in confusion. “Him traveling back and forth once a week is going to be noticed.”
“He’s staying,” my brother says curtly. “And I mean in this house, in that bedroom across from yours.”
“Excuse me?” I raise an eyebrow, my mouth not fully closing.
Ian stands, walking over to me, resting his hands on my shoulders. “I know you’ve got that Bitten,” he says through the annoyance in his voice. Little does he understand the mess I’ve just made. “But even you know Born are stronger than Bitten. And Lexington knows how Charles thinks. He knows the Allaway habits and ways of ruling. You need someone like him here, Elle.”
I look away from my brother to the man sitting on the couch. The look in his eyes tells me he’s a little conflicted about this situation. But he’s proven his loyalty to the House of Conrath over the past six years. He’s not going to fail Alivia now.
“And Liv approved this plan?” I say quietly.
Ian nods. “It was one hundred percent her idea.”
I bite my lower lip. I don’t have a choice in this matter, and I know it.
And truthfully, I probably should have someone, because I’m pretty sure I screwed things up beyond repair with Kai.
“Okay,” I breathe. I give a little nod, feeling the fight seep out of my body. “We’ll make this work.”
Something lightens in Ian’s expression. He expected me to fight this more. Expected the argument I usually give him over stuff like this. But he doesn’t know the fully story of the past hour.
“Okay,” he breathes, allowing a tiny smile. He pulls me into his arms, hugging me tight. “I promise, I’ll get this situation taken care of. I’ll do whatever I have to.”
“I know you will.” I squeeze him tight, grateful to have him here with me once more. And I don’t know how long it will be until I will see him again.
“I need to go,” he says into my hair. “The longer I stay the more at risk I’m putting you. We’ll talk in a few days, okay?”
I nod as he lets me go and takes a step away. That’s when I notice the bags beside the fireplace, next to Lexington.
I really had no choice about him staying.
“You let anything happen to my sister and I’ll be wearing your balls for a necklace, you know that, right?” Ian says as he takes a step for the door. The look in his eyes says he’s dead serious.
“I think everyone knows that when it comes to your family, you’re always do or die,” Lexington says, holding his hands up in surrender. “I’ll keep her safe. Promise.”
My brother fixes him with a deathly gaze, no joking around. He turns back to me as he opens the door. I follow him, holding it open.
“Don’t…take any unnecessary risks, please,” he begs. “Not until we get this resolved.”
I smile at him, but don’t say a word. He knows I can’t really promise that, not in this world we were born into. “Travel safe,” I offer instead.
Ian presses a kiss to the top of my head, and with a pained smile, he takes off.
Slowly, I close the door, locking it when it’s shut. And turn to my new housemate.
“So,” Lexington says awkwardly as he stands. He claps his hands together, seemingly unsure of where to look. “It’s been a while.”
“Yeah,” I respond, just as awkward.
“Like, what? Three years since we’ve seen each other?” he says, giving me this squinty-eyed look as he tries to figure it out.
“Four and a half,” I say with a little smile.
Wow. I haven’t been back to Silent Bend since
I left for college.
“Four and a half,” he says with a nod. “You’ve…you’ve grown up a lot since then.”
I give a little chuckle and shake my head as I walk out of the living room and into the kitchen.
Living in Liv’s House for two years meant I got to know some of the occupant vampires pretty well. Cameron, Liv’s best friend, was always friendly and down for inviting everyone to everything. Nial was like a loving uncle. Leigh took it upon herself to make me her pedicure buddy. May tried looking after me like I was her own granddaughter.
But some of the other House members I tried to avoid, or just had very little contact with. Markov, who once tried to drink from me. Danny, who was just plain terrifying looking. Trinity, who hated everyone.
Lexington and I had always been hardly aware that the other existed.
But I’m sure going to get to know him better now. Whether I want to or not.
“After you,” Lexington says with a smile, stepping aside and letting me down the stairs first. I awkwardly give him a thin-lipped one as I step around him and walk down the stairs, immediately hooking into the kitchen to grab some breakfast quickly before heading to work.
After Ian left last night, Lexington pretty much spent the night unpacking his things in the guest bedroom and wandering the house and the rooftop, looking for weak spots. We said maybe ten words to each other for the rest of the night.
I sort of awkwardly hid in my room with the door cracked in case he needed anything. I didn’t know what to say or how to suddenly occupy my own house with another person living in it.
I quickly dart up to the garden, gathering a few plants before heading back inside. Lexington leans against the kitchen counter, biting into an apple, waiting for me.
“It seems like I remember hearing something about you having, like, a poison garden back in Silent Bend,” he says as he follows me out front and waits while I lock the door. “Was that true or am I mixing things up?”
“It was true,” I say as I quickly set off down the sidewalk.
“I swear, I remember you being a kid when you lived back in Silent Bend,” he says with a chuckle. “Like, weren’t you this big?” He holds his hand up to chest height. “What’s a kid doing with a dangerous garden like that?”