"We couldn't see much, Ma," Luke said, looking at her with chastisement.
"It looked like one'a them old castles in Europe," she insisted. "That's why I'd rather ya was where I could look in on ya, than stuffed away in that ole mansion. It's probably haunted. Maybe that's why yer great-grandma went loony."
"Oh, Ma," Luke moaned.
"Well, Logan once told me how Jillian--that was her name, Jillian--claimed to see the dearly departed," she whispered.
Luke looked away. Any reference to my father and his mother always embarrassed him. I squeezed out a silly little laugh to change the mood.
"You don't have to worry about that, Aunt Fanny. Tony's going to fix Farthy up to make it very comfortable for me," I said. "He's got all kinds of plans . . ."
"Sure." She shifted her gaze from me as if she didn't want me to read her thoughts in her eyes.
"Aunt Fanny, do you know why my mother didn't want to have anything to do with him?"
Still looking at the floor, she shook her head.
"That was between yer daddy, yer motha, and him. It all happened jist before Drake's custody hearin', and me and yer ma wasn't very sisterly then, so she didn't tell me everythin' and I didn't ask. After we mended fences, she wanted ta keep her unpleasant memories buried, and I didn't push none ta know. But I'm sure she had good reason, so maybe ya oughta reconsider what yer doin'," she added, her eyes small now and her lips pursed.
"But Aunt Fanny, Drake thinks Tony's wonderful, and he's done so much for me. He's promised Drake a job for the summer, an important job, too."
"Yeah, well, jist ya keep yer wits about ya when yer in that castle, Annie, and if anythin' upsets ya, that nurse or anythin' at all, ya jist give yer aunt Fanny a call and I'll be there in a jiffy ta bring ya back where ya belong, hear?"
Aunt Fanny sounded funny and her ideas were often weird, but I couldn't help wondering if she wasn't right about Tony Tatterton. Were there any other reasons for his doing all that he was doing? Was Aunt Fanny right about the stream of madness that ran through the family? For now I decided I would wait and see. At least I felt secure because Drake and Luke would be close by in Boston. In fact, I'd be closer to Luke if I stayed at Farthy. His going to Harvard, which I had thought would separate us forever, would now mean we would be near each other again.
"Thank you, Aunt Fanny, but I think be fine, and there is all this special medical attention I need now."
"She's right, Ma."
"I know she needs special care. I jist thought. anyway,Ill be where ya kin find me. Now." She straightened up again, trying to look like my mother did when she conducted business. "Seems yer parents neva changed that part of their wills that left management of their finances up ta Tony Tatterton. So I suppose he's got control'a what happens with the factory and such."
"And Drake will have a lot to do with it. Someday he'll probably run it himself."
"Wouldn't my pa be proud'a that," she said, beam ing. She shook her head and reached into her handbag for a lace handkerchief with which to dab her eyes. "You and Luke's the only family I really got, Annie, and I mean ta do well by ya both, I'm gonna really try to behave and be a decent motha and aunt. I swear it." I could see she was convincing herself as well as me.
"Thank you, Aunt Fanny," I said, grateful for her intentions, intentions I suspected she would have trouble sustaining.
We kissed each other's cheek. Her eyes glistened with tears. It saddened me to see it, but I fought back crying, too. She straightened up again and stuffed her handkerchief back into her bag.
"I'm jist goin' ta go down ta that fancy cafeteria fer a cup a coffee. Promised Luke I'd let ya two have some time alone, though why there's gotta be secrets kept from me, Ah don't know." She cast a suspicious eye on Luke.
Luke blushed.
"It's not secrets, Ma. I told you."
"All right, all right. I'll be back in ten minutes."
She got up, squeezed my hand, and left. As soon as she went out the door, Luke moved closer to my bed. I reached up and took his hand into mine.
"How have you really been, Annie?"
"It's been hard, Luke; especially when I'm awake and I can think and remember. All I do is cry," I whimpered, and I began to cry again, to really sob as Luke sat on the side of the bed and comforted me with his strong arms. We remained like that for a long time, until my heart got stronger and my tears receded.
"I wish there was something more I could do for you." He looked down and then looked up quickly. "I dreamt I had gone to college and become a doctor and I was able to treat you and make you well again very quickly."
"You would be a wonderful doctor, Luke," I said as my sobs subsided.
"I wish I was one now." He fixed his eyes on me.
"Everyone's been wonderful," I insisted. "Drake comes every day, and Tony is really doing a lot for us." He nodded. "Anyway, I'm finally going to Farthy. I just wish it were for different reasons."
"I'll come see you, Annie. If they'll let me." "Of course they'll let you," I assured him.
"As soon as I get my first opportunity. And if you're still in a wheelchair, wheel you all about and we'll see all those places we dreamt about. We'll even go to the maze and--"
"Perhaps you'll take rue to their grave site, Luke. If I don't get there before you come," I said solemnly.
"Oh, I'd like that, Annie. I mean--"
"Maybe soon be able to wheel myself, so we can separate and try to find each other like we dreamt we would," I said quickly. It seemed to wrong to turn Farthy into a sad place, especially after we had built it up to be so fantastic in our minds.
"Yes, and we'll go down to the big pool and the tennis courts--"
"And you'll still be my prince?" I teased.
"Oh, more than ever now." He stood up and took a princely pose. "My lady," he said with a wide sweep of his arms. "Might I wheel you through all the gardens this morning? We'll go to the gazebo, where we'll sit until the sun goes down, talking softly and drinking mint juleps."
"Afterward, do you promise to sit with me in the concert hall so we can listen to music by the grand piano, Prince Luke?"
"Your wish is my command, my lady," he said, kneeling beside the bed and taking my hand to his lips. He kissed my fingers and stood up. His eyes dazzled as another fantasy returned.
"Or we can be Southern aristocracy again," he offered.
"And get all dressed up for elegant dinner parties?" I asked smiling.
"Of course. wear a tuxedo and you'll come
floating down the long stairway, looking like Scarlett O'Hara in Gone With the Wind with your dress trailing behind you. And you'll say--"
"I'll say, 'Why, Luke Casteel, it's so nice to see you.'"
"Annie, you're looking more beautiful than ever," he recited, imitating Clark Gable in the movie. "But I must keep my wits about me. I know the way you manipulate men with your dazzling beauty."
"Oh, not you, Luke. I would never manipulate you."
"Oh, but Annie, there is no one I would rather have manipulating me," he said with such sincerity in his eyes, I was speechless for a moment.
"It's not good if you let me know you know I'm doing it, Luke Casteel," I finally responded, my voice breathy.
We laughed. And then I looked up.
"Luke, there's something else I want to see; something I want to see very, very much now."
"What?" he asked, his sapphire eyes sparkling.
"A cottage that is on the other side of the maze. It's something I feel I've got to see. It's something I feel I've got to do."
"So we'll do it. Together," he added
confidently.
"I hope so, Luke." I squeezed his hand for emphasis. "Promise me, really promise."
"Every promise I make to you, Annie, is a real one," he said hoarsely, looking more mature and more determined than I could ever remember. For a moment our eyes remained glued together and I saw his love for me like a warm cleansing lake, big enough to swim in. Then Mrs. Broadfie
ld returned, bursting in on us like a cold wind.
"Time to change your head bandage," she announced.
"Just wait outside a moment, Luke."
"I'll go check on my mother. She might be turning this place upside down by now."
Fanny and Luke returned for a while after lunch, and before they left, Luke and I agreed on a time when he would call me the next day to read me the final version of his speech.
"I've added something to it," he said.
"Something I want you to be the first to hear."
Later than afternoon Tony and Drake arrived.
"I heard your aunt was here visiting," Tony said as he came through the door.
"Yes." I turned right to Drake. He was dressed so handsomely in a silk black-and-white pinstriped suit just like the ones Tony wore. I thought he looked years older already and very mature and successful. "Drake, Aunt Fanny wants to move into Hasbrouck House to watch over things. I said it was all right for her to do so."
"What? Now wait a minute, Annie."
"Now, now," Tony interjected. "That's a big house, from what I hear." I saw the look he gave Drake, the look that said, "Don't do anything to disturb Annie." The fire in Drake's eyes extinguished quickly. He shrugged.
"That's true. I suppose it's all right. For a while, anyway. I'm going to be too busy, and you'll be at Farthinggale, so she can't bother either of us."
"She's trying to do something decent, Drake." I tried to defend Fanny, wanting so much to believe the best of her. "She wants family again. I believe her, and I just didn't have the heart to turn her away. Not now."
He nodded.
"That was very kind of you, Annie," Tony said. "To be thinking of other people's needs while you have so many yourself. It's going to be refreshing to have a person such as you at Farthinggale. You'll warm the place as it hast't been since . . . since your mother lived there.
"And now," he added quickly, "I have a surprise. Dr. Malisoff tells me that you can be released by the end of the week to continue your recuperation and begin your therapy at Farthinggale. Isn't that wonderful?"
"Oh yes. I can't wait to get out of here!" I exclaimed.
Both Tony and Drake laughed, Drake shifting his eyes to Tony a split second beforehand to see if he would laugh first. I was amazed at how quickly Tony had made a disciple of Drake. How different Drake was with Tony! I had never seen him so deferential to anyone!
Tony took my hand. "I hear what a wonderfully cooperative patient you've been. Why, Mrs. Broadfield just raves about you," he added, looking toward her. Instead of flashing one of her imitation smiles, she looked at me and nodded, her eyes full of real appreciation and warmth.
"Thank you," I said, smiling at my nurse. "However, Annie, there is something very important that you have been hiding from me," Tony said.
"Hiding?"
"Drake tells me you're quite an artist."
"Oh, Drake. Did you exaggerate my abilities?"
"I just told the truth, Annie. You are good," he declared, confident of his opinion.
"I'm just learning," I told Tony. I didn't want him to be too disappointed when he saw my work.
"Well, I'm going to find one of the best art instructors in town and have him come out to Farthinggale to give you lessons. I won't let you be bored; I promise you that. We need a new portrait of the Manor, and I can't think of anyone better to do it than you, Annie."
"But Tony, you haven't even seen what I can do."
"I think I know what you can do," he said, his sharp, penetrating gaze resting on me with deep consideration. Thoughtfully, with narrowed eyes, he waited as I stared at him and wondered what he thought he knew. What did he see in me that I couldn't see in myself?
"One more surprise." Tony reached into his pocket and produced a small jewelry box. I took it from his palm and opened it slowly to gaze down at a magnificent pearl ring in a gold setting. "I searched and searched through your grandmother's things until I found what I thought would look best on your hand." He plucked the ring out of the box and took my left hand into his to slowly put the ring over my finger. He didn't seem surprised that it was a perfect fit.
"Oh, Tony, it's beautiful," I marveled. And it was! The pearl was large and set in rose gold.
I held my hand up and turned it about so Drake could see. He nodded in appreciation.
"Beautiful," he agreed.
"In time everything I have and everything that was your grandmother's will be yours, Annie.'
"Thank you, Tony, but you've given me so much and done so much, I don't know how to thank you."
"Just come to Farthinggale and get well there. That will be more thanks than I had ever hoped to receive?'
It was on my lips to ask why, but once again I told myself that all the questions, and hopefully all the answers, would be uttered at Farthinggale Manor, and suddenly it seemed so right that the mysteries of my mother's past would be solved for me where they had been born for her.
The next day, at the time we had arranged, Luke called to read me the new part of his speech.
"Everyone in Winnerrow knows about our family tragedy, Annie. When they look up at me after the principal introduces me as the valedictorian, it's going to be in their eyes. So I thought and thought about Heaven and how she would want me to react and what she would want me to say.
"Annie, you know your mother was an inspiration to me, maybe the biggest inspiration in my life,. because she was born to a hard, poor life and struggled up and out of it more or less on her own, battling so many hardships and emerging with dignity and beauty. I mean, she never let me feel out of place in your home, and I know it had to be painful for her to see me there?'
"Oh, Luke, she never--"
"No, Annie, it would only be natural for her to feel that way. I understood and . ." His voice nearly cracked. "And I loved her for it. I really did. God forgive me, more than I love my own mother."
"I think she knew that, Luke."
"I know she did. Anyway," he said, pulling his voice up, "I decided to add this paragraph. Ready?"
"My ear's glued to the phone, Luke."
I envisioned him on the other end, his posture straight, seriousness tightening his face as he held out his script and read.
"'The Bible tells us there is a season for everything. A time to be born and a time to die; a season of light and a season of darkness. This is a happy day, a wonderful day, a day during the season of light; but for my family it is still the season of darkness. However, I feel certain tilt my aunt and my . . my father would want me to remain in the season of light, to brighten the darkness and think only of what this day means for my family. It means hope and opportunity. It means another descendant of Toby Casteel and his loving wife Annie has emerged from the poverty of the Willies to become all he is capable of becoming. So I dedicate this day to the memory of Logan and Heaven Stonewall. Thank you."
My tears gushed. I couldn't hold the phone against my ear. I dropped the receiver into my lap and cried and cried. Luke called my name: "Annie? Annie? Oh, Annie, I didn't mean for you to cry so hard. Annie?"
Mrs. Broadfield, who was just outside the door talking to a floor nurse, came charging in.
"What is it?" she demanded.
I took deep breaths until if could plug up the sadness and agony enough to speak. Then I picked up the receiver.
"Luke, I'm sorry. It's beautiful. They'd be so proud of you, but do you think," I gasped, "do you think you should say . . ."
"My father? Yes, Annie. On this day especially, I want to put away any deception and stand proud for who I am. Do you think he would mind?"
"Oh no. I was just thinking about you and afterward."
"Afterward doesn't matter. I'm going off to college, and frankly, this is one time I agree with my mother--I don't care what the hypocrites of Winnerrow think."
"I only wish I could be there beside you, Luke." "You'll be beside me, Annie. I'll know it."
I started to bawl again. I hid my face in my pal
ms. Mrs. Broadfield, her face screwed in anger, rushed forward.
"Now you have to stop this!" she exclaimed. "Hang that phone up. The call is too disturbing."
She took the phone before I had a chance to pick it up again.
"This is Mrs. Broadfield," she said. "I'm afraid you'll have to end this conversation. Annie is too weak for this kind of emotional strain."
"Please, give me the phone, Mrs. Broadfield," I demanded.
"Well, bring this to an end," she said. "You'll make yourself sick."
"I'll be calm. I promise."
Reluctantly, she returned the phone.
"I'm sorry," Luke said immediately. "I didn't--" "It's all right, Luke. I'm all right. be strong. I'm
crying because I'm happy, too, happy for you." "Be happy for the both of us, Annie."
"I'll try."
"I'll call you right after graduation and let you know how it goes."
"Don't forget."
"I'd as soon forget to breathe," he said.
"Good luck, Luke," I cried, and surrendered the phone to Mrs. Broadfield, who quickly cradled the receiver.
I fell back against the pillows.
"You don't understand your condition, Annie," she began. "You've not only been damaged
physically, but emotionally as well. This kind of thing can set you back for months."
The tears and the agony made my heart feel like a brick in my chest. Suddenly I was struggling to breathe. I gasped and reached up. I felt the blood draining from my face, my cheeks turning cold. The room began to spin. The last thing I heard was Mrs. Broadfield yell, "Stat!"
Then the season of darkness claimed me again.
EIGHT Doctor's Orders
. I felt as if I were falling down a long, dark tunnel, but as I fell I began to see a light at the end. I was drawing closer and closer to it, and soon I began to hear voices. First it sounded like many people whispering; then their whispering grew louder, until it sounded more like hundreds of flies buzzing around a screen window on a hot, sticky, late summer day. Then the buzzing turned into words and I fell through the bottom of the tunnel into the bright light.