My heart was pounding in my ears. The echo of that terrible accident on the Winnerrow road had died a little, but the sound of my father's voice when he called my name still lingered.
I looked back at the hospital floor as the elevator doors closed. The nurses and doctors had returned to their duties. I was just another name to be taken of the charts, a file to be stored now. Just before the doors closed, I remembered something.
"My cards! We left them on the wall!"
"Cards? Oh, your get-well cards. Don't worry. have them brought out to Farthy," Tony promised, but it made me even sadder to think I had left them behind. Luke's funny card, Drake's beautiful card
. I suddenly realized I wasn't bringing along anything from Winnerrow, anything from Luke. I wasn't even wearing the charm bracelet.
The elevator doors opened again and I was wheeled out to the limousine.
"Annie, this is my chauffeur, Miles. He knew your mother very well," Tony said, eyeing Miles.
"Please to meet you, Miss Annie, and glad you've been released from the hospital," Miles said and tipped his cap to me. I saw the smile in his eyes and on his lips, a smile of appreciation and happiness. I was sure I reminded him of my mother.
"Thank you, Miles."
He opened the rear door. Mrs. Broadfield then directed my shifting from the chair into the car. Tony insisted on helping. He went into the car first and took me from Mrs. Broadfield, holding me tightly against his chest as he pulled me gently onto the seat. His lips grazed my cheek and he held me snugly against him. I was surprised at how tightly he held me, and thought he wasn't going to let go. But he did, and then he directed Miles to fold the chair and put it into the trunk. Mrs. Broadfield joined us in the rear and Miles started the car and began my journey to Farthinggale Manor, a journey I was sure I would never forget.
PART 2 NINE Over the Threshold
. Mrs. Broadfield and Tony sat me on the rich suede rear seat so I could look out the window at the scenery. The day looked disappointingly overcast, but suddenly a brilliant sun peeked through the dreary clouds and I saw a wide patch of soft, aqua blue that reminded me of lazy summer days back at
Winnerrow. Perhaps God was going to shine his light on me after all,
When I gazed back, I saw just how enormous Boston Memorial was, especially compared to our Winnerrow Community General Hospital. We passed through the gates and through some of downtown Boston before getting on the major thoroughfare that would take us to Farthinggale Manor. The rows of houses came to an end and woods and long green lawns appeared with houses spotted here and there along the way.
"Comfortable?" Tony asked. He adjusted the pillow that Mrs. Broadfield had inserted behind my lower back and the rear of the seat.
"Yes." I was content just staring out the window now, watching the scenery fly by as we continued down the highway that would take us to Farthinggale Manor.
"I remember the day Jillian and I first picked your mother up at the airport to bring her to Farthy. Just like you, she looked so innocent and young, so wide-eyed and eager. I knew she was nervous. Jillian, your great-grandmother, didn't realize Heaven was coming to stay with us forever. She thought it was just going to be a short visit."
He laughed. "Jillian was very concerned about looking young and being thought of as young, so she asked--no, she demanded--your mother to refer to her as Jillian, and never as Grandmother."
"My mother was upset about that."
"She didn't let on that she was. She was a very wise and beautiful young woman, even at that early age." Tony stared silently out the window, lost in thought. Then he sighed, and snapped out of his reverie. "We'll be there soon. Turn your head to the right and look for a break in the treeline. The first glimpse of Farthinggale Manor is a sight to
remember."
"How old is Farthy?" I asked.
"It was built by my great-great-great
grandfather in 1850, but don't let its age fool you. It's a grand place, as luxurious as any modern-day mansion. Many a movie star and entrepreneur have sent me offers."
"Would you sell it?"
"Not at any price. It's as much a part of me as . . as my own name. When I was a boy, there wasn't a house anywhere in the world as fine as the one where I lived. When I was seven, I was sent to Eton because my father thought the English knew more about discipline than our private schools do. I was terribly homesick from the day I arrived to the day I left. Sometimes I'd close my eyes and pretend I could smell the balsam, fir, and pine trees, and the briny scent of the sea." He closed his eyes, as if inhaling the perfumed air of Farthinggale right here in the limo, which smelled only of fine leather.
I felt the limo slow down and then turn onto a private road, and then there it was, looming above us: the fabled high wrought-iron gates with ornate embellishments that spelled out FARTHINGGALE MANOR. Imps and fairies and gnomes peeked between the iron leaves.
"It's almost as big as Luke and I dreamed." I sighed.
"Pardon?"
"Luke and I used to play a game, a fantasy game, imagining what Farthinggale looked like."
"You're about to find out, firsthand."
The driveway seemed to go on forever and ever, and then a huge house made of gray stone suddenly appeared. It did resemble a castle. The red roof soared above the trees; and there were the turrets and small red bridges . . . just as they were in the plaque Luke had given me.
But there was much that was different from the Farthy of our dreams and fantasies, I thought, as I scanned the grounds. Drake's description, unfortunately, was the more accurate one.
The grounds were overgrown and unkempt, bushes untrimmed and flower beds overrun with weeds.
The house was as breathtaking in size as Luke and I had dreamt it would be, but it looked like it hadn't been lived in for years and years. Wherever there was wood siding or trim, it was peeling and cracked. The house looked gray and cold, the windows dark, the curtains closed like the eyelids of a dying old woman.
When the sun slipped behind the heavy clouds, the front of the great house took on a gloomy look.
Suddenly I felt chilled, apprehensive, and ever so lonely. I embraced myself. Here I would need all the warmth I could find.
Tony, on the other hand, smiled widely, his face full of excitement. He gave not the slightest indication that the degeneration of the grounds and the dilapidated look of the great building embarrassed him. It was as if he didn't see it. I looked at Mrs. Broadfield to see if she was as surprised as I was, but she sat stone-faced.
"Farthy goes on for acres and acres," he explained proudly. "It is some of the richest land in the area, and we have our own private beach. When you're ready and able, I'll wheel you about and show you our stables, the pool and cabana, the tennis courts, the gazebo . . . all of it," he promised. "And you must think of it all as yours. Don't ever think of yourself as a guest here; you're more than a guest, far more," he pronounced as Miles brought the car to a stop.
Mrs. Broadfield got out quickly and came around to wait for Miles to get the wheelchair out of the trunk. I looked up the stairway at the great arching door. Even it had lost its grandeur. The wood had chipped off on the right side, as if some giant animal had clawed at it, trying to gain entrance into the house. How could Tony enter and exit from it every day and fail to have it repaired?
"You're here!" Tony exclaimed. "You're actually here! Well, what do you think?"
"I . . ." I fumbled, not knowing what to say. I was disappointed, so very disappointed to see my dream mansion crumbling in disrepair.
"Oh, I know the place needs a little work," Tony interjected, "and I'm going to get right to it now, now that I have a reason to do so." His eyes fixed solemnly on me. My heart fluttered beneath my breast. Something in me, some part of me I couldn't name, rang out an alarm.
"It's a magnificent place, and once you get it shipshape, I bet it will look like it did when you were a little boy," I said, not wanting him to notice my trepidation.
"Exactly. That's exactly how I want it to look. Oh, I knew you would understand, Annie. I'm so happy you're here."
Mrs. Broadfield opened my door. Miles and she had the chair unfolded and ready. She reached in to help guide me out.
"Oh, let me help," Tony insisted, and came around quickly. Mrs. Broadfield stepped back. Tony reached in and embraced me around the waist with his left arm and scooped his right under my thighs. Then, taking great care, he inched back, lifting me up and out of the car as if I were . . . I was about to think: infant, but there was something in the way he held me and smiled it'ine that made me think of a new bride instead, a new bride about to be carried over the threshold of her new home.
"Mr. Tatterton?" Miles asked, wondering, as I was, when Tony was going to lower me to the chair, "What? Oh yes, let's do that."
He placed me into the chair gently and then he and Miles lifted me, chair and all, up the stairs to the front entrance. A tall, lean, gray-haired man with dark gray eyes and pale gray skin, creased and wrinkled into small folds over his forehead and neck, stood like a mannequin in the doorway.
"This is Curtis, my faithful butler," Tony announced.
"Welcome," Curtis greeted, bowing slightly and stepping aside so I could be wheeled into the great house.
They brought me into the foyer, carpeted with a Chinese rug that had seen its best days years ago. There were spots that were actually worn through to the hardwood floors. A single chandelier cast pale illumination over the stone walls. It needed a halfdozen bulbs but had only one. Ancestral portraits lined the walls, yellowish faces of stern New England men and women, the women's faces pinched, as if the smiles were ironed out of them; the men making great efforts to appear serious, important, as solid as the rock upon which they had built their magnificent home.
"In time show you all of it," Tony promised,
"but for now we'll get you comfortably ensconced in your quarters. I'm sure, after all that you've been through, even a short journey, such as the one we have just made, tires you out."
"I'm too excited to be tired, Tony. Don't worry about me."
"Oh, but that's exactly what I intend to do from now on, Annie: worry about you. You're my new number-one priority."
He continued pushing me farther into the house.
"My office is right here; I'll give you just a short look at it because it's not fit for feminine eyes. Needs a good cleaning," he confessed, kneeling down so his lips actually touched my earlobe.
Even though we didn't enter the room, I saw he was not exaggerating. The single lamp in the corner threw long fingers of anemic white light over the large mahogany desk and the black leather chairs. The books in the dark pine bookcases looked dusty. Rays of sunlight filtered through the curtains over the windows at the rear, capturing the dust particles as a spotlight would. They danced about freely, arrogantly. When had someone last taken a dust mop or vacuum cleaner to this room? I wondered. Tony's desk was piled high with paperwork. How could he find anything?
"Now that you're here, of course, I'll have to get all this into order. Right now I wouldn't think of wheeling you into that unkempt sanctuary, for all the fugitive dirt and grime this house could have. Men," he added, kneeling down again, "when they live alone, tend to ignore the finer things. But that's coming to an end . . . thank God, it's coming to an end," he muttered, and turned me away.
At least there was nothing disappointing about the stairway. It was just as we had dreamt--long, elegant marble steps with a shiny mahogany balustrade. Just gazing at it was enough incentive to make me want to get well again so I could glide down those steps like a princess, just as Luke and I had envisioned I would--wearing a long flowing gown, my wrists and neck bedecked with jewels, jeweled combs in my hair. Oh, how I wished Luke could be here with me now to see it.
"Yes, unfortunately that staircase is an obstacle for you right now, but hopefully not so for long."
We started toward it, but when I looked to my right again, I saw the large living room and the grand piano, and there were pictures painted on the walls and ceiling!
"Oh wait. What a magnificent living room! What are those pictures?"
He laughed and wheeled me to the doorway. It was a very large room, with dowdy satin curtains that were once white but were now gray with dirt and age. Some of the furniture--the velvet couch and love seat and the deep cushioned chair--were covered with plastic that showed the dust, too. The marble tables, the grand piano, the vases . . everything looked rich and elegant, but decayed and in desperate need of cleaning and polishing.
The faded murals on the walls and ceiling were exquisite, depicting scenes from fairy tales-- shadowed woods with sunlight drizzling through, winding paths leading into misty mountain ranges topped with castles and a sky painted overhead with birds flying and a man riding a magic carpet. There was another mystical, airy castle half hidden by clouds. But all the light was gone from the fairy-tale scene, grayed and darkened by years of neglect, so the scene had the dismal, mournful feel of dreams long dead. I shivered.
"Your great-grandmother did all that, Annie. Now you know from where you have inherited your talent for art. She used to be a famous illustrator for children's books."
"Really?"
"Yes," he said, his eyes taking on a faraway look, "in fact, that's how I met her. One day when I was twenty I came home from playing tennis and I looked in and saw up on this ladder the shapeliest legs 1 had ever seen. When this gorgeous creature came down and I saw her face, she seemed unreal. She had come with a decorator and suggested the murals. 'Storybook settings for the king of the toy makers,' was the way she put it, and I fell for the idea hook, line, and sinker." He winked. "It also gave me a reason for having her come back."
"What a wonderful, romantic story," I cried. Then I fixed my eyes on the grand piano.
"Who plays?" I asked, intrigued.
"Pardon?"
"Do you play the piano, Tony?"
"Me? No. A long time ago my brother used to play," he said. I looked back because his voice had become so thin. "His name was Troy," he said, "and because of our age difference, and because both our parents had passed away by the time he was barely two, I was more like a father than a brother to him. He loved to play, especially Chopin. He died a long time ago." "My mother loved listening to Chopin."
"Oh?"
"And the small Tatterton Toy cottage that she has. She had," I corrected, "plays a little of a Chopin nocturne when you lift the roof."
"Really? Toy cottage, you say?"
"Yes, with the maze."
I turned to him because he didn't respond. He had stepped to the side of the chair so he could look at the living room with me. Suddenly his faraway eyes focused on me and his face changed. His eyes narrowed and there was a tiny trembling in his lips.
"Tony?"
"Oh, I'm sorry, Daydreaming a bit.
Remembering my brother," he added and smiled again.
"You must tell me about him. Will you?"
"Of course."
"I'm depending on you to tell me everything, Tony," I said, feeling it was finally the time to do so. "I want to know all about my family--my greatgrandmother, my grandmother, and what you remember of my mother when she lived here."
"If I do all that, you'll get tired of me."
"No. I want to know it all. And Tony," I added, my eyes as determined as they could be, "I want finally to know what it was that caused you and my mother to stop seeing and talking to one another. Promise to tell me all that, no matter how painful it might seem?"
"I promise, and you know by now I keep my promises. But please, for a while, let's avoid anything unpleasant so that you can get well on the way toward a full recovery."
"I'll wait, as long as you've promised."
"Good. Now," he said cheerfully, "onward and upward."
Mrs. Broadfield had gone upstairs ahead of us to prepare my room. Miles was waiting patiently behind us. Tony signaled to him and he came to lift me in the chair. Then, wi
th careful steps, making me feel like some dowager queen returning to her palace quarters, they carried me up the magnificent marble stairway.
"I'm such a trouble," I said, seeing the strain in both their faces as we started the final third of the stairway.
"Nonsense. Miles and I need the exercise, eh, Miles?"
"No trouble, Miss Annie. Glad to do it anytime."
They set me on the floor and I looked down the long corridors that seemed to extend for miles in either direction. Tony turned me to the left.
"I have a wonderful surprise for you. The room you will be in," he said as he continued wheeling me down the corridor, "was your grandmother's room and then your mother's, And now," he said, turning me into a double doorway, "it is yours!"
He put his hand over mine. "As I always knew in my heart it would be someday."
I turned quickly to look at him. His eyes held my own and seemed to send silent messages. He looked so determined, so self-satisfied, that for a moment I felt afraid. Sometimes I got the feeling that Tony had long ago planned out my whole life for me.
My heart fluttered like the wings of a confused canary unsure whether it should enter the golden cage. Truly it would be taken care of, pampered, fed, loved; but it knew also that once it entered the cage, the tiny door would be closed and it would look at the world forever through those golden bars.
What should it do; what should I have done?
As if he sensed my fears, Tony hurriedly wheeled me forward.
TEN My Mother's Room
. Tony wheeled me through two wide, double doors into the first room of the two-room suite. The sunlight through the pale ivory sheers was misted and frail and gave the sitting room an unused, unreal quality. Just like the living room below, this room seemed more like a museum than a room to live in. The walls were covered in a delicate ivory silk fabric, subtly woven through with faint Oriental designs of green, violet, and blue.