CHAPTER 38
Here I Go Again
I opened my laptop and checked my email for the notes from Mrs. Carroll. There they were, as promised. I plodded through page after page. She was certainly thorough.
My thoughts kept jumping from the Biology that I was supposed to be studying to seeing Ty push my sister. Sure, I had seen him do it to strangers, kids at school, even Karen, before we became close. But this time felt different. Harmless to her, helpful to me. My own words rang in my ears, persecuting me. Wasn't I being the same brat I had accused Ty of being when he first revealed his secret to me? Doing what was necessary to get my way?
You're being overly dramatic, Essie, I admonished myself. Harmless to her, helpful to me. This time I thought it with a smile and it made all the difference. Win-win. Smile. And, hey, Ty was going to use his ability to get her and Jace together. Surely, if she knew, she wouldn't object. Harmless and helpful. Smile. I felt better.
The evening wore on and I gave no more thought to "pushing", choosing to concentrate instead on getting through my homework. When I had finished, I put on my violin music and started to straighten up my room. I had been so busy the past several days and nights that things were starting to get out of hand. I was neat and organized by nature and couldn't relax when my stuff was strewn everywhere. Plus, I didn't want Ty to think I was a slob. They had a maid at his house and nothing was ever out of place. I opened a drawer to put a pencil away and saw the bracelet that Michael had given me. I remembered taking it off Sunday night before putting on my costume.
I took it out now and stared at it for a long moment, wistfully recalling the amazing day we had spent together a mere three days ago. Between the airport with Karen, Halloween, and two nights in a row on my rooftop with Ty, it seemed so much further away.
I hadn't tested the bracelet's invisibility with Ty, unsure of its actual power. The last thing I needed was for him to see me wearing a gift from Michael Powers. Things were perfect between us now and I didn't want to make waves.
I got Michael's UGA t-shirt from the closet and wrapped the bracelet up in it, deciding to put both items under my mattress. I knew Michael wouldn't take them back and I couldn't bear the thought of throwing them away. I carefully shoved them all the way to the middle, not wanting them to accidentally fall out at some inopportune moment.
When my room was in order, I surveyed it approvingly, then fell back on my bed. Real or imagined, I was unsure, but I was certain I could feel the t-shirt and bracelet through the thick mattress with the added pillowtop. I squirmed around for a bit, trying to get comfortable, feeling like the princess and the pea. Axl jumped up on the bed, walked around in a circle several times, then plopped himself down right next to me. I began to pet his soft fur, then closed my eyes and listened intently to the soft cries of the violin.
I found myself in the English garden, lying on my back next to Michael, identifying shapes in the clouds as we discussed angelic things. He laughed exuberantly as I tried to make him see that the puffy cloud directly overhead was most definitely an elephant.
"Look. There's his trunk," I pointed, "and there are his four fat legs."
"Whatever you say," he allowed, pecking my cheek.
"I love hanging out with you," I said playfully.
His face suddenly turned serious. "I love you, Essie."
"I love you back, Michael."
He wrapped me up in his arms and pressed his lips to my forehead, leaving them in place for a long moment. Then he lowered his chin so that we were staring into each other's eyes. He softly caressed my cheek with the backs of his fingers, not looking away.
I blinked, and when I opened my eyes, I saw Ty sitting on the edge of my bed, the backs of his fingers softly caressing my cheek.
I gasped and sprang up. "Oh, my gosh. You just scared the crap out of me."
"I'm sorry. You looked so peaceful and you started smiling when I touched your cheek. What were you dreaming about?"
"I don't remember," I lied. And then, "I'm so glad you're here," changing the subject and my tone. "What time is it?" I yawned.
"Just after midnight." He scooted closer to me, forcing me to move to the middle of my bed to make room for him. "You're obviously tired. Why don't you lie back down," he suggested slyly, putting his hands on my waist, trying to pull me toward him, "and I'll help you drift off to sleep again."
I felt dirty. I didn't assist him in his attempt to draw me closer. I was dead weight and he could only manage to get me to lean slightly. Even though it was just a dream, I couldn't escape the image of me staring into Michael's eyes and telling him I loved him only two minutes earlier. And now Ty was in my bed. Yuck.
"What's wrong?" he asked, picking up on my body language.
"Nothing," I lied again with a forced half-smile. "I'm just not really comfortable with you in my bed. I mean, if my mother ever came in, she'd kill me. Somehow, the roof seems more innocent. Do you think I'm crazy?"
"Yes, but that's beside the point," he joked. "Come on. The roof it is."
"I need a minute, if you don't mind."
"Of course. I'll get everything," he assured me as he gathered up my pillows.
"Be right back," I whispered as I opened my door, then closed it quietly.
I went to the bathroom and sat on the closed toilet seat, head in hands, and wept silently. It was just a stupid dream, I told myself. I got up and went to the sink, turning on the cold water. I pulled my hair back with a scrunchie as I waited for it to get as cold as it was going to get. I brought my head down to the faucet and splashed the running water on my face several times. After toweling off, I stared at myself in the mirror.
"You love Ty," I scowled, ripping the scrunchie from my hair.
I marched back into my bedroom and found Axl sitting patiently by the open window.
"Good boy," I smiled and scratched his neck. He followed me as I climbed out the window to join Ty on the roof. He had arranged the blanket and pillows and was reclining on his elbows, legs outstretched, waiting patiently as well.
I situated myself in front of him and relaxed against his chest. This was definitely the position I preferred. He could fold his arms around me and nuzzle into my neck, which I loved, while, at the same time, I could avoid his eyes. Those eyes that looked through me, understanding the unsaid. I needed to avoid those eyes right now, until I could put Michael Powers out of my mind.
He did just what I hoped, as if on cue, squeezing me tenderly, nibbling on my neck and right ear. Every thought in my head vanished as I began to melt like caramel in a fondue pot. When I was sufficiently melted, he slid his hands from my waist, over the sides of my torso, past my shoulders, and up into my hair, delicately taking fistfuls into his hands, then releasing them, over and over, gently tugging my head backwards. When I couldn't stand it any longer, I turned around to face him, kissing him passionately. Thankfully, Axl decided he wanted in on the action and just about knocked us over before things got out of hand.
"Wow," I breathed heavily, moving quickly so that I was now sitting beside him. "So much for drifting off to sleep."
"Yeah, sorry about that. I don't know what came over me."
"Me, too. Sorry."
"Come here," he insisted, wrangling me into position alongside him, guiding my head to his chest. As he ran his fingers through my hair, I drifted off.