CHAPTER 16
‘Pull in here, Jake,’ said Lulubelle. ‘I have to go.’
‘You know what Mr Mannfield's like about taking stops on the journey,’ Lucinda warned her. 'Can't you wait?’
‘I have to go,’ said Lulubelle urgently.
Jake pulled in to the service station. ‘Won't hurt to stop for a few seconds,’ he said. ‘Weren't you wanting fags, Luce? You've smoked all mine. You can get me a pack as well.’
‘I'll give you some of mine,’ she said, but he shook his head. ‘Can't stand that brand you smoke.’
Lucinda sighed. It just showed it was no use being nice to people; they couldn't even spare you a few cigarettes without wanting a whole pack in return. Nothing was for nothing, these days.
It wasn't as if she was putting Jake to any trouble, making him tow her caravan, even though everyone went on at her and said in her line of business she should have learned to drive; after all, if he wasn't driving her, he'd have had much heavier work to do, driving one of the fairground trucks and then getting stuck with unloading all the equipment the other end. This way, he might avoid it. She knew why he wasn't too unhappy that Lulubelle had asked for a stop; she might make him late, late enough to miss some of the work, and he could say she was to blame.
‘Okay,’ she said with resignation. ‘But I don't know if I've got enough on me for two packs. I might have to smoke some of yours.’
Lulubelle jumped out of the cab. ‘Don't forget to get me some aspirin.’
‘Made of money, am I?’ Lucinda said.
‘I've got gut-ache,’ said Lulubelle. 'Really bad, Mum; I'm not joking.’
Lucinda followed her into the service station.
‘Meet me back here?’ Lulubelle said.
‘You can find your way back to the van,’ said Lucinda. ‘It's big enough to stand out, isn't it?’
‘No, wait for me,’ Lulubelle insisted. ‘I feel really weird. Promise?’
‘Oh, all right.’
When Lulubelle came out of the toilet, Lucinda was retouching her make-up in front of the mirror over the washbasins.
‘I'm bleeding,’ said Lulubelle.
‘You what?’ said Lucinda, applying red lipstick carefully.
‘You know,’ Lulubelle hissed. ‘It's started. My ... you know.’
‘What?’ said Lucinda again.
‘Mum! It was you that told me about it; you can't have forgotten!’
‘Oh no!’ Lucinda gave her daughter her full attention now. ‘You haven't started already? I might have known. I started young. Just my luck that you're the same, I suppose.’
‘I need some things,’ said Lulubelle.
‘I haven't got any money,’ Lucinda said. ‘It's all gone on fags and aspirin.’
‘What am I meant to do, then?’
‘You'll have to wait, I suppose. It probably won't get that heavy, just to start with. You'll be all right for a while. When we get to the site, I'll borrow you a few pads from Mabel or someone.’
‘No!’ said Lulubelle, revolted. ‘I'm not walking out of here, Mum. It'll show! What if blood comes through on to my clothes? Everyone will know!’
‘It's not the end of the world, for God's sake,’ Lucinda said irritably. ‘You seem to think I can get money whenever you want it. What d'you expect me to do - wave a magic wand? Flag down Max the magician's van on the motorway and say, “Oh, Maxie, you do magic: conjure me up some sanitary towels for my daughter, will you?”’
‘I hate you,’ said Lulubelle.
‘Hate away,’ said Lucinda. ‘You can't just expect me to solve all your problems, Lulubelle. What am I meant to do about it?’
‘Get upset,’ said Lulubelle. 'Like I am.’
‘I am upset,’ said Lucinda. ‘You hurt my feelings when you talk like that. You know I love you; no one can say I don't try to be a good mother to you, and all on my own; it isn't easy, you know.’
Ask the toilet attendant,’ Lulubelle begged. ‘Say it's an emergency.’
‘She won't give you the things for free; they're in a machine; you have to pay.’
‘She might if you ask her. Just try. Please.’
‘You ask her. She's more likely to help if she thinks you're a child on your own. I'll go outside.’
‘Mum! Don't leave me!’
‘I'm not leaving you,’ said Lucinda, exasperated. ‘I'll wait outside.’
Lulubelle came out after a couple of minutes.
‘Well?’
‘I couldn't,’ she said. ‘I went up to her and I just couldn't say it. You do it, Mum. Please.’
‘Only if you stop calling me that name.’
‘Lucy. Lucinda. Anything you like. Please try.’
Lucinda went back into the Ladies and came out a minute later. ‘There's one in there,’ she said, handing Lulubelle her bag. ‘I had to give her five of Jake's fags; he won't be happy. Go and change quickly.’
‘Only one?’ said Lulubelle fearfully. ‘How long will it last me, Mum ... Lucy?’
‘Long enough,’ Lucinda said. ‘Hurry up or Jake'll drive off without you.’
They walked back to the van, Lulubelle walking awkwardly. ‘How long will I bleed?’ she asked.
‘Few days - four, five.’
‘How many pads will I need for four or five days?’
‘Stop worrying, will you? I'll borrow some for today and I'll get you a whole pack tomorrow when we get paid.’
‘Don't say anything to Jake, will you?’ Lulubelle said urgently, as they approached the truck.
‘How else am I going to explain why I gave his fags away to the toilet lady?’ Lucinda demanded.
‘Tell him something else. Say someone asked you for some.’
‘You put me in some awkward situations,’ Lucinda grumbled.
‘Promise you won't tell?’
‘Okay, okay.’
Jake was standing by the cab smoking. Lucinda held out the packet of cigarettes to him. ‘Here.’
‘Right,’ he said. ‘Let's go.’ He put the pack in his jacket pocket without looking at it.
‘There's a few taken out of it,’ said Lucinda. ‘I took pity on the toilet lady; poor old soul, she was telling me all her life story. Couldn't get away.’
He got into the cab. ‘Watch me out,’ he said. ‘We should have gone in the lorry park; there's no space to reverse here.’
They waved him out of the parking space safely and climbed back into the cab, Lulubelle shifting about on the seat uncomfortably.
‘How long before we arrive?’ she asked.
‘Three hours, two and a half if we're lucky,’ said Jake. Lulubelle looked anxious. ‘Don't worry, kid,’ he said. ‘Might never happen.’ He took a bar of chocolate out of his pocket. ‘That'll keep you going,’ he said. ‘Thanks,’ Lulubelle said. She broke off a couple of chunks and offered the bar to Lucinda and Jake. He shook his head.
‘No, go on,’ Lucinda said. ‘You have it. Growing girl and all that.’
Lulubelle took it as an apology. She leaned against her mother and sucked on a square of chocolate.
‘Growing faster than I thought,’ Lucinda said. ‘They start young these days,’ she told Jake. ‘Ten years of age. Still, might as well find out what life as a woman's all about, eh?’
Lulubelle sat up straight and dug her elbow furiously into her mother's ribs, betrayed.
‘What?’ said Lucinda. 'No use making a fuss about it, is it? Happens to everybody soon enough, don't it?’
Jake, glancing sideways, caught Lulubelle's flushed cheeks and hostile glare at Lucinda. ‘Right enough, kid,’ he said pacifically.
‘The show must go on, as they say,’ Lucinda said. ‘Did I tell you she might be going on TV again, Jake?’
‘I'm not performing tonight,’ said Lulubelle flatly.
‘Tell that to Mr Mannfield,’ Lucinda said with a sniff. ‘It'd take more than the curse to get him to give you a night off. You'd have to be dead, at least. Isn't that right, Jake?’
Jake, overtaking a removal van, had stopped listening. Lucinda turned the radio up.
‘That's right,’ she agreed with herself. ‘Show must go on, at all costs. That's what showbiz is all about. You pays your money, folks, and you takes your choice.’
Lulubelle put the rest of the chocolate bar in her pocket. She might need it later on more than she did now.