CHAPTER XI.
_How to do Things by Halves._
There is an old saying, and generally considered a good one: "Never dothings by halves." But there are exceptions to every rule, and thesending a banknote by halves, is one of them; and a very good exceptiontoo. We wish anyone who reads this, would only be induced to send to thePublisher half a bank of England note, and get it acknowledged by theAuthor, for the good work he has in hand, even in this publication; andhe will be sure to be rejoiced to receive the other half as well, andacknowledge that things done by halves, may answer a better purpose thanthe being done all at once.
Meet an old friend half way, and I'll warrant you they will go togetherthe other half ten thousand times more pleasantly than if they had bothmet only at the journey's end. Still, in a general way, things done byhalves do not always fit, so as to make the whole agreeable. They maybecome so conjoint as to be agreeable to each other; but who does notlike to see a good house built all at once, rather than patched fromtime to time? Who likes to see a church half restored, and half a ruin?So, who likes to have half the heart of his sweetheart, and never tohave the whole. Let him learn to have a whole heart himself, first, andhe will be sure to possess the whole heart of another, and fulfil thewhole law.
Alderman Goodbeheard, who had been one of Doctor Gambado's patients,delighted, when in the country, to see the hounds; but being a veryportly person, and not one of the highflyers in the field, he told JohnTattsall, that he wanted a horse that would get over gates and styles,without taking a flying leap. He must have one that could creep overthem, by putting first his forelegs on, and then his hind, so as to givehim time to lean forward and to lean backward, without those suddenjerks, which he had seen some gentlemen get in the saddle. He did notmind his horse breaking a bar or so, provided he did no mischief tohimself or to his rider; for, as the Alderman generally rode alongconvenient roads and footpaths, he wished to do so with comfort tohimself and convenience to his creature.
"I see, sir," said John; "you want a creeper, that will do things byhalves."
"Exactly so, sir! exactly so, sir!"
"I can suit your worship well, only you must keep a whip, constantly toride behind you, just to teach the animal to do as he was taught, to dothings by halves."
"If you can find me a lad to do this, I should be glad to have him in myservice."
"I have a groom in my service, who would just suit your purpose. He has,in fact, been the trainer of the animal to do just that kind of thing."
"Capital! capital! I will furnish him with scarlet coat and cap, bootsand spurs, whip and saddle, and pay him L2 2s. per week, until the endof the hunting season, when you may have him again to train other horseshow to do things by halves."
So paid the Alderman his groom, And found in hunting he had lost his gloom; For though, by halves, the hunter's work was done, The master and his man both shared the fun.