the leg this time.
I couldn’t take it anymore, “Alright, wait. This is just way too weird. Can you tell us from the beginning Chad?” Everyone quiets and waits for Chad.
Chad looks at the gun then looks at all of us and lets out a deep breath. “Yeah. Okay. I was farting around in the woods last week with my .22 and I almost shot this old guy out in the woods. He was all dressed up in a bunch of leather and skins and stuff. He even had a coonskin cap.” He screws his face up and asks, “Who wears a coonskin cap anymore?”
Lucas interrupts. “I would if I had one. That would be awes...” Boomer slaps his meaty hand over Lucas’ mouth.
Chad continues. “So I went over and started talking to the old guy. He was really old, like the original old school. He taught me a rhyme that he said you could get stuff with. I tried it last night and got this sweet thing.”
Timmy couldn’t hold it in. “You just don’t get stuff for free! He’s probably a creeper. He’s probably around here watching us and is going to follow us all home and kidnap us or something.”
From Mark, “Don’t be retarded, people don’t kidnap people anymore. That only happens to super rich dudes and fakers that kidnap themselves for the money.”
Timmy responds, “Pre-verts still do! You’re not supposed to talk to strangers!”
Chad waves him off. “No, he’s not going to kidnap us. He just lives in the woods. An old guy that lives in the woods wouldn’t kidnap us. Besides, he said I would get a nightmare if it worked.”
Boomer speaks up. “That’s why you were having a bad dream?”
“Yeah, I think that’s how you pay for the stuff you want. It’s in the rhyme.”
Lucas loses it, “I can’t take it anymore! What is the damn rhyme?”
Chad gives Lucas a frigid look, “Fine, here it is. I plead my need to the tree. My time and mind for the fee. A night of fright upon me. Nothing in this world is free. Then you are supposed to say Except then say what you want.”
Lucas again, “So you only asked for a gun? You could have gotten a car or a boatload of cash. Man, you suck at this wishing thing.”
“Chill out Lucas. He also said the thing that you ask for is supposed to be realistic or you won’t get it. He said you can’t ask for pile of money or unlimited wishes or anything like that.”
“That sucks. What’s the point then?”
“Well. I got this thing.” Chad holds up the expensive rifle.
Chad reflexively hides the rifle when we hear the backdoor shut. “Hey boys! Breakfast is ready!”
-
Breakfast was pretty tasty and we all could tell Mrs. Hendrix must have slaved all morning over the steering wheel for it. It consisted of a neatly arranged selection of Egg McMuffins, Breakfast Burritos with Orange Juice and Milk. The question of “Did you have a good time last night?” was answered by the standard chorus of “Yes Ma’am” and “Thank you”.
When the coast was clear, Mark asked in a hushed tone. “So Chad, can we say the rhyme and get things too?”
“Maybe. Or at least I think so. But I’m not sure how much the old guy is part of it.”
I sneak in, “We can all try tonight. We should ask for something small. Then we can all meet up tomorrow at Big Rock to see if it worked.”
My plan is accepted and we decide to meet up at the park around Noon. Chad repeats the rhyme enough times so we all know it by heart and for the rest of the day it chased itself around in our heads.
Timmy
Lucas walked me home since he passed by my house to get to his.
He asked, “So that was fun, wasn’t it?”
“I didn’t want to go, but Duane asked and he is hard to turn down.”
“He’s a pretty cool Dude. He doesn’t ask for much.”
I’m glad I listened to him. The camping trip was the most exciting one ever. The whole crew was there and everyone was in a good mood. It was also the perfect night for a campfire. I’m always worried how it’s going to go with Chad. He’s usually the worst at his house or when there is a lot of people around and the camping trip was both. Thankfully, he was pretty cool last night. He only ripped on me a little bit and it wasn’t too bad. I think maybe it was because he was distracted. I didn’t notice his distraction last night, but with all the craziness this morning I realized he must have been in a different world. It’s probably the reason why he took it easy on me.
“I’m glad Chad and Mark were more civil than usual. They like to gang up on me.”
He responds, “Whatever Jiminy Cricket. You worry too much.”
“Whatever yourself. Those guy don’t pick on you like they do me.”
“No, whatever yourself, yourself. Timmy, you are a very cool kid, but you let those guys walk all over you.” Lucas was giving me a very serious look. Lucas doesn’t have a serious look very often so he must be trying to make a point.
“You just don’t get it.”
He grabbed my shoulder and halted our journey, “Really Timmy, you should thicken that skin up a little bit. I know your home life is hard to understand, but when it comes to Chad and Mark you either gotta stick up for yourself or say forget ‘em and walk away. Because the thing with those two is, the more of their crap you eat, the more they dish out.”
It was nice that Lucas was leveling with me like this, but there was no way I could do either of those things. There’s no way I can tell those guys to f-off, my life would be so much worse. For one thing, when school starts back up, those guys would probably make things even worse for me.
I tried to look him in the eye, but failed, “I don’t think I could do that.”
He patted my shoulder, “You probably could. Just keep it in mind, OK?”
“I’ll try.”
“Atta boy.” He started walking again and asked, “So, did Boomer get fresh with you last night?”
“No! What? Why do you say that?”
“Well you know, you guys were all alone, and it got a little chilly last night.”
He gives me a sideways look, he’s wearing a creepy grin. His mind must be a three ring circus.
“What is wrong with you?”
We’ve reached the footpath up to my house and it’s enough of an excuse for him not to answer.
Lucas continues to wear his creepy face as he walks on home. Finally he waves, “Sleep tight. Don’t let the bad bugs bite.”
I shake my head and wave back. I yell after him, “I thought you are supposed to say Sweet Dreams?”
Just before he passed behind the hedge, he yelled back, “Not tonight, not if Chad is right! Hey that rhymed!”
I could smell boiled cabbage and sausage as I enter the front door. It must be Tuesday, since we always have boiled cabbage and sausage on Tuesday. Tomorrow will be pot roast.
My Mother yells from the other room, “Take off your shoes!”
I have to yell back to be heard over the television, “Yes Mother!”
“Where have you been? You were supposed be home a half-hour ago!”
I scurry into the living room so I don’t have to yell again. Both my parents are there eating a breakfast of fried hotdogs and eggs and toast.
“Mrs. Hendrix made us breakfast and then I had to help break down the tents and stuff.”
“Well that’s good. Since I didn’t know what time you were getting home, I didn’t’ make you any breakfast.”
Dad alternately stirs his eggs and hotdogs and studies the TV. For now he’s the lucky one.
“You should have let us known you were going to be late.” Her normal voice isn’t quite a yell, but it’s close.
I could feel my face growing redder.
“I know. I’m sorry. Everything just happened so fast.”
“That’s a piss-poor excuse. You should think of other people. This world doesn’t revolve around you, you know?”
“Yes ma’am.”
“I just don’t know what I
’m going to do with you. It’s like you live in your own little world.”
We were in the kitchen and she was passing out pancakes and she flipped my Dad’s on the table instead of his plate, it just slid of wrong. I knew she was in a bad mood, but I couldn’t help it, I smirked. It took less than a second for the turner to hit my face.
“Let me tell you what little man, the real world, the world outside your head is full of responsibilities.
“You’ll never be able to hold down a job the way you shirk your responsibilities. So what then? What are you going to do when you are flat broke with not a cent to your name? I know, you’re going to come crawling back to me and expect me to fix it, make things all better. You’re gonna want me to feed and clothe you, buy all your little toys and gadgets, and pay your phone bill, which seems pointless since you won’t even use it to let me know where you are or when you’re gonna be late…”
-
After my Mother decides I have had enough, I go to my room to lick my wounds. She hasn’t read me the riot act in a while, but she hasn’t lost her touch. I was hoping she was done doing that. I guess not.
I try not to spend the whole da y feeling sorry for myself, but when I get online I realize just how little impact I make in the real world. I think my mother maybe right, I live in my own world and it’s a pretty small world at that. I hope the dreams work. I hope that Chad isn’t pulling our legs about the old guy in the woods.
After dinner I do the dishes as ordered, then anxiously fiddle around waiting for bedtime and the promise of a new world.
When the time finally comes, I say the words, “I plead my need to the tree. My time and mind for the fee.