• • •
So here’s what went down with Ellie and Kyle during the movie:
The previews started, and Ellie was excited to be with him on the date, but she was already a little bit annoyed with him because he’d gotten cranky about where we were going to sit, and because I guess he was getting nacho crumbs all over the floor and on his shirt. So then she said, “Kyle, you look kind of a mess.”
And then Kyle brushed his shirt off and said, “Better?”
And then Ellie was like, “Yeah.” But then Kyle was crunching his chips too loud, and Ellie said, “Kyle, you might want to eat a little quieter.”
And then Kyle was all, “Ellie, you might need to relax a little bit.” And then they didn’t talk to each other for the rest of the movie. I have to admit that when she tells me all this over text message, I’m a little disappointed. I expected something with much more drama.
Anyway, I tell Ellie that it wasn’t really nice of her to say that Kyle looked like a mess, and then she says she said he looked “kind of” a mess, which I say is basically the same thing. But then she says that if he really cared about hanging out with her, he would have tried to do anything she asked, like eat like a normal person. And then I said she had a point, and that even though he might not do anything she asked, he could have at least tried to eat a little quieter, or maybe even just said, “I’m sorry, Ellie, but that really hurt my feelings. Next time you have a problem with my eating habits, maybe you could say it a little nicer” instead of just telling her to relax.
But of course most thirteen-year-old boys can’t express themselves that way. Actually, most people can’t express themselves that way. But when I tell Ellie this, she says Kyle could have at least tried, and even if he couldn’t put his emotions into words, he shouldn’t have just said that she needed to relax, because she thinks she’s a very fun person, and not uptight at all. Which is sort of true. Ellie can be pretty relaxed about certain things, like how she went to the mall that day without even thinking about it, but sometimes she does get caught up in manners and etiquette and stuff.
But I don’t say this, because she’s my best friend, and of course I’m on her side.
Anyway, Ellie tells me all this over text message and it takes us until, like, two in the morning for her to finally get it all out. We make plans to meet up for lunch the next day at this really cute café that’s halfway between our houses so that we can discuss it more.
But first I have to get to the gymnastics meet in Cedar Falls. Which starts at nine a.m. Which means I have to be up by eight. On a Saturday. Which means I’m extremely cranky as I stumble down the stairs and into my dad’s car. I told him I was meeting my friend Daniella there. Which isn’t really a lie, since Daniella is going with me. Although I wouldn’t exactly call her a friend, and I’m not meeting her there. She’s riding over with us, ha-ha.
By the time we get to the meet, I’m still not fully awake. Thank God they have a concession stand. I buy a cup of coffee and something called “breakfast dough,” which sounds gross but is actually this delicious warm fried dough dusted with powdered sugar and topped with strawberries and whipped cream.
We (well, I) find a seat way in the back of the gym, high up on the bleachers so that I can observe without anyone seeing me.
Both teams are warming up, flying over the mats, flipping all around, their legs and arms and ponytails in a whirl.
“Wow,” I say to Daniella. “You used to do that?” I take a bite of breakfast dough. So. Good.
“Yeah,” she says, looking longingly at the gymnasts.
“You miss it?”
“Yeah. Being part of a team, it was . . . it was fun.” Her eyes start to fill up a little with tears. “It’s hard,” she says. “You know, remembering.”
“Yeah,” I say softly. I’ve seen this happen before, and it breaks my heart every single time. A ghost will start remembering their life, their old life, and the more they remember, the harder it gets for them. Add that to the fact that the longer they’re around, the more they can handle, and so they don’t even fade away when things get hard.
“Anyway,” Daniella says, shaking her head and wiping away her tears. “What’s our plan?”
“Why do you always need a plan?” I ask. “Don’t you think it’s better to just wing it?”
“No,” she says. “‘Failing to prepare is preparing to fail.’”
Wow. When did Daniella turn into some kind of self-help guru? “I guess,” I say, “but—”
And then I stop. Oh. My. God. Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God. I do not believe it. Because right in front of me, through the double doors at the front of the gym, Brandon Dunham comes walking in.
• • •
He hasn’t seen me yet, but I have to get out of here. I’ll wait until he takes his seat, and then I can just quietly slip down the bleachers. I’ll call my dad. He’s probably not even that far away yet, and I’ll tell him to come back, that I’m not feeling well, or better yet, that my friend never showed up and so I don’t want to be here by myself. He’ll think I’m so responsible that he’ll—
Oh no. Grace is here! Grace is with them! It’s Brandon and his dad and Grace, and she’s dressed in her ninja or karate master or whatever-it-is costume, and what the heck are they doing here?
“What the heck are they doing here?” Daniella cries, annoyed. She floats down the bleachers a little bit, like maybe she’s going to try to scare them away.
“My thoughts exactly,” I say. “But don’t worry. We’ll just wait until they’re sitting down, and then we’ll sneak out. They’ll never even see us.”
“Sneak out?” Daniella says. “Oh, no, you don’t. You’re here to talk to Jen, and you are going to talk to Jen.”
“Daniella,” I say patiently. “I know this seems like a very big deal to you, moving on and everything. But you can’t rush these things. And if you want to know the truth, it’s not really my job to give up my whole entire—”
“KENDALL! OH MY GOD. LOOK, IT’S KENNNNDALL. BRANDON’S GIRLFRIEND, KENDALL!” Grace’s voice comes echoing through the gym, and since there aren’t that many people here, it’s loud, and everyone turns around to look.
How. Extremely. Embarrassing.
Brandon and his dad turn to look where Grace is pointing, which is, you know, right at me. (How did she even see me, anyway? She must have some kind of eagle vision.)
Brandon waves, looking surprised to see me. And then he, his dad, and Grace start CLIMBING THE BLEACHERS TOWARD ME.
“No!” Daniella yells. “No, no, no, no, no!” She stands up and stamps her foot at them and says, “Go away right now!” Wow. She’s really regressing. I mean, she’s kind of acting like a seven-year-old. And of course it doesn’t matter because no one can hear her except for me.
“Hey,” Brandon says as he gets closer. “What are you doing here?”
Good question. “Just, you know, came to watch the meet,” I say. “I have a friend on the team. What are you doing here?”
“My cousin’s on the team,” he says.
“Our cousin COLLEEN,” Grace reports. “She knows how to do ninja flips.”
“I’ll bet she does,” I say, and give her a smile. “Well, I don’t want to interrupt your family outing. So maybe we can catch up later?”
“You’re not interrupting,” Mr. Dunham says. He really is a nice guy. And then, before I can stop them, the Dunhams are all sitting down next to me. On the bleachers. Even though I have, like, the worst seat ever. Seriously, you can hardly even see what’s going on.
“These seats are stupid!” Grace yells. “I want to move down farther.”
“Um, do you mind?” Mr. Dunham asks me and Brandon, looking a little embarrassed.
“Dad,” Brandon says, “why don’t you and Grace go and move down there, and I’ll stay here with Kendall.”
I feel a warm rush of excitement at the fact that he wants to be alone with me, but Daniella is scowling.
O
nce his dad and sister are gone, Brandon reaches over and takes my hand. His fingers intertwine with mine, just the way they did last night at the movie theater. I look at him, and for a second I think maybe he’s going to kiss me, right there in the gym, so I quickly look away, because I’m not really sure if I’m ready for that.
“So which one is your friend?” he asks.
“That’s her,” I say as Jen goes tumbling by.
We watch the meet, and Brandon points out his cousin Colleen, who does really well. Cedar Falls wins the meet, but only by a couple of points, so the whole time, we’re on the edge of our seats. Well, Brandon and I are. Daniella is down in the middle of the gym, practicing on all the equipment. It’s actually quite distracting, and sometimes I kind of have a hard time following what’s going on, since I keep watching her instead of the person who’s competing.
At one point Brandon even asks me if maybe we should move a little closer to the action, since I might be having trouble seeing what’s going on.
But the worst part is that after the whole thing is over, Brandon insists that we go back to meet his cousin. And when we get to the hall outside of the locker room, she comes out before I have a chance to make up some kind of excuse to get out of there. Jen’s following behind her.
“Hey, Colleen,” Brandon’s dad says. “You did great.”
“Thanks,” she says, grinning.
Colleen, Mr. Dunham, and Grace move over to the side of the hallway and start chatting with Colleen’s parents.
Jen looks at me. I look at Jen.
“Is this your friend?” Brandon asks.
I nod. Brandon waits for me to say something, which makes sense, because supposedly Jen is my friend, and friends, you know, talk. But I’m frozen, just standing there, not saying anything, mostly because I’m kind of afraid of what’s going to happen. Is she going to accuse me of being a stalker? Is she going to freak out on me? Is she going to embarrass me in front of Brandon?
“Hey, Kendall,” Jen says. Which is good. At least she’s using my name. “Thanks for coming.” And then she pushes past me and into the hallway that leads out of the school.
Brandon looks at me, confused. “I guess she didn’t have time to talk.”
“Well, we’re not that good of friends,” I say. “And besides, she’s really busy.”
Brandon nods, but I’m not sure he believes me. In fact, he probably thinks I’m some kind of loser who thinks she’s friends with a high school gymnast when she’s really not. I cover up for it by laughing and talking to Grace a little bit, but by the time my dad comes to pick me up, I’m feeling cranky.
• • •
When I get home, I’m still feeling all grouchy, so I head up to my room and pop a DVD into my player. It’s time to get lost in some cheesy TV show, one of the ones where before you even start to watch it, you know everything’s going to work out in the end.
I’m snuggling in under the covers and thinking maybe I’ll take a nap before it’s time to meet Ellie for lunch, since I was up so early and everything, when Daniella shows up.
“Go away,” I say, pulling the covers over my head. “Seriously, I am so not in the mood.” After the meet Daniella stayed behind so that she could practice some more on all the apparatus. Apparati? Apparatuses? Whatever. Anyway, she’s probably here now to yell at me for not talking to Jen. And yeah, I guess I am a little behind when it comes to helping Daniella move on. But what was I supposed to do? Brandon and his father and his sister were there! Like I could really say anything in front of them! They would have thought I was totally crazy.
“Kendall,” Daniella says, and something about the tone of her voice makes me pull back the covers. I look at her face, which is pale, even for a ghost. “I think I did something horrible.” She bites her lip.
“What do you mean?”
“I mean,” she says, “that I did something horrible. When I was alive. I . . . I remember it.” Her face is completely white now, and her blue eyes are like saucers.
I throw the covers off. There’s only one place I can go to think when something this serious is happening, only one place where I do my best thinking. “We’re going to the graveyard,” I say.
• • •
We sit on my fave bench. I’ve got my red notebook and cell phone. (Just in case Brandon decides to call. This whole helping Daniella thing is important, but let’s face it, I do have to pay attention to my love life. Plus I’m also waiting for Ellie to call me so that we can finalize our plans for lunch.)
“So what is it?” I ask. “What did you do that’s so horrible?”
I have my pen poised over my notebook.
“You’re going to write it down?” Daniella asks. She sounds panicked. She’s next to me on the bench. She’s not doing stretches or cartwheels or backbends or anything. It’s kind of weird to see her still.
“Yes, I’m going to write it down.”
“Why?”
“So I can remember all the details.”
“But what if someone finds it?”
I sigh. “Daniella, if someone finds it, they’re not going to be worried about whatever bad thing it is you did. If someone finds it, they’re going to be worried about my mental health for writing down something a dead girl told me.”
She cocks her head. “Good point.”
“Okay, so . . .” I poise my pen again.
“I stole her boyfriend.”
“Excuse me, what?”
“I stole Jen’s boyfriend.” Daniella looks down at the ground, and her eyes start to fill up with tears. “Travis, that kid from the mall? I didn’t mean to. They had broken up, it was . . . it was kind of a gray area.”
“What kind of a gray area?” I ask. Stealing someone’s boyfriend seems pretty black and white to me.
“Well, she told me she didn’t like him anymore. But I . . . I still knew it wasn’t right, that I shouldn’t have made a date with him.”
I’m scribbling everything down, but I still don’t understand. “So wait,” I say. “You took her boyfriend? And what, you want to say you’re sorry for it?”
“Yes.”
I clap my hands. “And then you’ll be able to move on!”
She doesn’t look convinced. “You think?”
“Yes!” I say. “Definitely. A lot of times ghosts have to apologize to someone before they can move on.” Yay, yay, yay! I’m so excited and in such a good mood that for a second I think maybe I’m even going to miss Daniella when she’s gone. Yeah, she can be a pain, but at least she’s been keeping things interesting.
But my good mood doesn’t last long. Because at that moment, for the second time that day, Brandon Dunham shows up at the same place I am.
Chapter
10
“Hey,” he says, shielding his eyes from the sun as he walks up the tree-lined path toward where I’m sitting. He smiles. “Fancy seeing you here.”
“Yeah,” I say, smiling back. “Are you following me, Brandon Dunham?”
“Maybe you’re following me.”
“But I got here first.”
“Good point.” He sits down next to me on the bench. Daniella rolls her eyes and then scoots over. “What are you doing here?” Brandon asks.
Good question. I try to come up with a reason I’d be sitting in a cemetery. Which, let’s face it, is kind of weird.
“What are you doing here?” I shoot back. I hope he hasn’t heard me talking to myself. How humiliating.
“I came to visit my mom’s grave,” he says.
Oh. Right. That makes sense. I’m surprised I haven’t seen him here before. “I came to visit . . . .my grandma’s grave.” I’m sitting in front of her grave, so it’s not even really that much of a lie. And it makes perfect sense.
“Ugh,” Daniella says. “I really cannot take another episode of As the Middle School Drama Turns.” Which is both (a) mean and (b) not that funny, but I forgive her since I’m so close to getting rid of her. Plus after she says it, she goes aw
ay, which is a huge relief.
“Is this your grandma’s grave?” Brandon asks, gesturing toward the gravesite.
“Yes.”
He nods, then takes a flower out of the bouquet he’s holding and sets it down on her stone.
“Thanks,” I say. “That was really sweet.”
“No problem,” he says. “Do you want to come with me to my mom’s grave?” He looks down at the ground shyly.
“I’d be happy to,” I say.
We walk through the cemetery over to the grave. It’s a beautiful black marble headstone, and Brandon sets down the rest of the flowers in front of it. And after Brandon has a private moment at his mom’s stone, I ask him if he’s okay.
“Yeah,” he says as we start walking down the path and toward the front of the cemetery. “The weird thing is, when I leave her grave, a lot of times it makes me feel better, you know? It’s like I know she would want me to be happy.”
“Yeah.” And I know it’s an emotional moment and all, but I can’t stop thinking about Mrs. Dunham freaking out about that green paper. I clear my throat. “Sooo . . .,” I say, running my hand along the branches of a hydrangea bush as we walk by. “What was your mom like?”
“What was she like?”
“Yeah, like, was she, you know, strict?” I make my voice sound sympathetic and get ready to listen about all the ridiculous over-the-top rules Mrs. Dunham made Brandon follow.
“Not really.”
“She wasn’t?” I’m shocked. I guess being dead is making Mrs. Dunham really cranky.
“You seem surprised.”
“No,” I say. “I just, um . . . What was her favorite color?”
Brandon laughs and tips his head back. The sunlight glints off his hair. I knew he was the type to have sunlight glinting off his hair! Why is it boys are always the ones with the best natural highlights? So not fair. “What’s with you and colors?” he asks.
“What do you mean?”
“Well, you were asking me what my favorite color was last night.”
“Oh. Well, I just think that your favorite color says a lot about you as a person.” I wonder if telling him it’s because I’m interested in fashion design or something would be going too far, and then decide it probably would. I mean, I already lied to him about being interested in gymnastics. How many fake interests can one girl have?