‘He said that?’ I ask enviously. ‘Those exact words?’
‘Yep. And he went on, “You don’t want to waste your feelings on a boring old teacher like me.” So I dared pluck up the courage to tell him he was the least boring man I’d ever met, and he said I was a very sweet girl to say so, but by next week or the week after I’ll be totally fed up with him and I’ll just look back on this as a fleeting crush. I said I didn’t think so – and then I asked him to tell me why he wasn’t interested. Was it just because of the school thing or didn’t he like me at all? And he said he liked me a lot, but probably not in the way I meant. He said I was way way way too young to be involved with a guy in his twenties and certainly he’d never be unprofessional enough to have any liaison with any pupil, even in the sixth form, and then he said, “And my girlfriend wouldn’t be too happy about it anyway.”’
‘He’s got a girlfriend?’
‘They live together. It’s actually her flat. She’s in advertising and I think she must make a lot of money. He showed me this photo of her. It’s not fair, she’s gorgeous, this black girl with a face like Naomi Campbell and the most amazing long hair. She’s called Miranda and when he says her name his face goes all soft and it’s obvious he’s crazy about her.’
Magda sighs.
Nadine sighs.
I sigh.
‘He suggested I stay and meet her. He even asked me to have supper with them but I couldn’t face it. So I made out I really did have this date with a boy from Halmer High and then I apologized for making such an idiot of myself. He said, “Don’t worry about it, Magda. We’ll both forget this ever happened.” But how can I forget? How can I ever face him? Every time we have Art I’ll have to skulk in the toilets for the whole double lesson.’
The bell goes and we go back into school – and there’s Mr Windsor coming along the corridor towards us!
‘Oh no!’ says Magda. ‘Quick, hide me!’
We can’t drape ourselves around her or squash her up small in our schoolbags so there’s obviously no way we can hide her. I link into her arm on one side, Nadine does the other, and we carry on walking up the corridor. Mr Windsor saunters along like he hasn’t a care in the world. When he draws near he gives us all his normal cheery smile.
‘Hi Ellie. Hi Magda. Hi Nadine,’ he says, and then he strolls off.
‘Phew!’ says Magda, breathing upwards so sharply she ruffles her fringe.
‘What style!’ says Nadine. ‘He acted like it never happened.
‘Maybe it didn’t,’ says Magda. ‘Maybe last night was just a mad delusion on my part. Perhaps I dreamt it all.’
‘I wish my evening was only a dream,’ Nadine says sadly.
‘But you acted wonderfully. You looked after Vicky and you stood up to Liam and showed him just what you thought of him,’ I say, giving her a hug.
‘You don’t think I am all cold and boring, do you?’ Nadine says.
‘Of course not!’
‘And boys will like kissing me?’
‘Nadine! You just wait and see. I’m sure you’ll meet someone very special really soon,’ I say. ‘I predict it!’
‘Predict someone special for me too, Ellie,’ says Magda, sighing.
‘OK, someone special for both of you. Now cheer up, right? Big smiles!’
Magda bares her teeth at me.
‘It’s all right for you, Ellie. You’ve got Russell,’ says Nadine.
‘Yeah, right, I’ve got Russell. But he’s nowhere near as important to me as you two,’ I say – and I mean every word.
But when I meet up with Russell in McDonald’s after school I forget all about Magda and Nadine. Russell’s bought me a little present! It’s in a little black box. A jewellery box???
I open it, my heart hammering.
‘Don’t worry, it’s not a seriously heavy commitment present. It’s not like a ring or anything,’ Russell says quickly.
It’s two little pearly daisy-shaped hairslides, very delicate and utterly delightful.
‘I hope you like them,’ Russell says. ‘I thought they’d look good in all your lovely curly hair. But don’t feel you have to wear them if you don’t want to.’
‘I do want to! They’re wonderful.’
‘You honestly like them? I spent ages looking at all this hair stuff. The girl in the shop kept giving me these weird looks like she thought I was shopping for myself and rushed off to Madame Jo Jo’s of an evening. Here, shall I help you fix them? I just love your hair, Ellie, it’s so springy.’
‘Kind of exploding mattress springy – but I’m ever so glad you like it. I’ve always hated there being so much of it, all frizzy curls. I’ve always wished I had hair like Nadine’s, smooth and glossy and gorgeous, but of course mine couldn’t ever go like that. I could try having it very short like Magda. Do you think it would suit me?’
‘You don’t want to look like Magda or Nadine. You want to look like you,’ says Russell firmly, clipping the slides into place. ‘There! They really suit you, Ellie. Will you wear them to the centenary dance?’
‘You bet! In fact I’ve got this pearly-grey silky top, I could wear that. It’s sort of slinky.’
‘Sounds great! I got the extra ticket today. My dad coughed up the cash. He’s mellowing considerably. I’ve told him all about you. Well, I made out my Art teacher is a mate of your Art teacher and they were both comparing notes on the brilliance of their pet pupils, etc., etc. I thought it would go down better than saying we met here. Dad has a seriously weird problem about me hanging out at McDonald’s. Anyway, we’re all set for the dance on the 29th.’
‘The 29th,’ I repeat.
Why is that date so familiar? Why do I suddenly feel anxious?
‘The 29th,’ I say yet again. ‘That’s not a Friday, is it?’
‘Yes. Why?’
Oh God. I know why.
‘I’m supposed to be going to a Claudie Coleman concert on the 29th!’
‘Oh Ellie! Can’t you go another night?’
‘I think she’s only doing the one gig.’
‘Claudie Coleman – the singer with the red hair? Yeah, I like her too. But she’s always doing concerts. Couldn’t you go another time? Please, Ellie.’
‘Well, it’s just . . . You see, Magda’s dad got the tickets specially.’
‘Magda again.’
‘Don’t say it like that, Russell, please. Look, I can’t really back out now and let her down.’
‘I bet Nadine’s going too.’
‘Yes, she is.’
‘So, Magda and Nadine can go together. It’s not like you’re leaving one on her own.’
‘Yes, but, well, we were all three going to have this girls’ night out.’
‘Oh. So they’re more important than me and my dance?’
‘No! No, of course not.’ I’m starting to panic. I was so happy just seconds ago, loving my beautiful pearly hairslides, thrilled to bits that Russell had bought them specially for me. Now I feel the slides are digging directly into my head and I can’t think straight.
I take Russell’s hand, though I’m extremely conscious of all the kids milling round us in McDonald’s.
‘Russell. You’re much more important. You know that.’
‘Then come to the dance with me, Ellie. I’ve spent the whole day showing off to everyone that you’re coming. I’ll look such an idiot if I have to say you’d sooner go off to some concert with a couple of girlfriends.’
‘It’s not just any old concert. I’ve loved Claudie for ages and I’ve never had the chance to hear her sing live before. And Nadine and Magda aren’t any old girlfriends either. They’re my best ever friends.’
‘But I’m your boyfriend, aren’t I?’
‘Well . . . yes, of course.’
‘And you’re my girlfriend and I need you to come to this dance with me. Please, Ellie.’
‘OK, OK! Of course I’ll come. I’m sure Nadine and Magda will understand.’
Russell gives me a quick k
iss right there and then in McDonald’s.
Nadine and Magda don’t understand at all when I phone them both in the evening. Nadine listens while I tell her about Russell and his dance.
‘You don’t mind too much, do you, Nadine? You do understand, don’t you? You’d probably do the same, wouldn’t you? Nadine?’
Nadine says nothing at all though I can hear the sound of her breathing on the other end of the phone.
‘Nadine, speak to me!’
‘I don’t want to speak to you,’ she says, and puts the phone down.
I ring Magda and tell her. Magda says plenty.
‘I can’t believe you could be so amazingly ungrateful! We decided to go to the Claudie concert specially for you, because Russell had stood you up.’
‘Yes, but he hadn’t really stood me up, he wasn’t allowed out.’
‘Yeah, yeah, Daddy wouldn’t let him out – which if you don’t mind my saying so always sounded a totally pathetic excuse, but that’s not the point. The point is that my dad got us those three tickets—’
‘I’ll still pay for my ticket, Mags!’
‘My dad got those tickets as a present. We were going to have this big girly night out.’
‘I know, but you and Nadine can still go.’
‘You bet we’ll still go.’
‘And I can come next time Claudie sings.’
‘Unless Russell asks you out on a pressing date – like a Big Mac and a large order of French fries.’
‘You’re not being fair, Magda. It’s this very special centenary dance at his school. He’s told all his friends he’s taking me.’
‘I’m sure he has. I’ve heard the way those Halmer High boys talk about girls. Well, if you want to go and be exhibited as the latest notch on Russell’s belt you go for it, Ellie.’
‘You’d do the same, Magda. You in particular. You’re boy mad.’ I can’t stop myself. ‘I think that’s half the problem. You’ve had a down on Russell right from the start, because he went after me instead of you.’ Oh God, what have I said? I take a deep breath. ‘I’m sorry, Mags. I didn’t mean any of that,’ I say – but she’s put the phone down on me.
I can’t believe it. Both my girlfriends have stopped speaking to me.
I sniff hard and make for the stairs. Everything is a blur. I suddenly encounter something small and bouncy on the stairs – and scream as a large dagger pierces my ankle. The something screams too, at the top of his lungs.
‘Ooow! Ellie, you hurt me! You walked straight into me! You did that on purpose and now look what you’ve done! You’ve made me drop all my stitches.’
‘Look what you’ve done. You attacked me with your knitting needle. Look, I’m bleeding! And you’ve laddered my best tights too, you little moron.’
‘Hey, hey, what on earth’s going on?’ says Anna, running into the hall, a ball of knitting wool caught comically round her ankles.
We both start talking at once, Eggs wailing over his rapidly unravelling scarf and me hopping on one leg staunching the trickle of blood.
‘Do calm down, both of you. Eggs, stop that noise! I’ll pick up your stitches up for you, easy peasy. Why did you barge straight into him, Ellie? He was sitting on the stairs as good as gold. I really can’t stop now, I’m right in the middle of working out this really tricky design and I’m seeing George tomorrow. Look, you’re not crying, are you? It’s only a little scratch.’
‘You wouldn’t care if I had needles skewered all the way up and down my legs! Why do you always have to take Eggs’s side over everything? It’s not fair! Why doesn’t anyone understand what it’s like for me?’ I shout, and I rush up the stairs and slam myself into my bedroom.
I have a good long howl into my pillow. When I’ve got to the choked-up, gulping, badly-in-need-of-tissues stage Anna comes into my bedroom with a box of Kleenex and a cold flannel.
‘You could at least knock,’ I grumble, but I let her mop me up. Then she sits down beside me and puts her arm round me. I hold myself stiff for a moment but then relax and lean against her.
‘OK, Ellie, tell me,’ Anna says gently.
‘Nadine and Magda aren’t speaking to me!’ I sob.
‘What’s happened? Come on, don’t cry so. Don’t worry, you’ll make it up with them. You’ll always be best friends.’
‘Not any more,’ I gulp, and I tell her everything.
‘Poor old Ellie. This is big problem time,’ Anna says, when I’ve gone through the whole thing. ‘Choosing between girlfriends and boyfriends is always very very tricky.’
‘It’s not fair! Why can’t they all be friends?’ I wail. ‘I thought Magda and Nadine would understand. I mean, this is a very important dance for Russell. It would be pretty magic to go. And he bought me these little pearly hairslides, look.’
‘Yes, they’re lovely. And Russell sounds lovely too. And, after all, he asked you to the dance first.’
‘Well. No. Actually he didn’t. I arranged to go to the concert first.’
‘So why didn’t you tell him about the concert when he started telling you about the dance?’
‘I didn’t take in the date. You know what a dilly dream I can be about stuff like that.’
‘You’re telling me! So what are you going to do?’
‘I don’t know. I didn’t realize how horrid it would feel, Magda and Nadine turning on me like this. It’s not fair, they both put boyfriends first. Nadine did when she was going out with horrible Liam and Magda did when she went out with that creep Greg.’
‘Ah,’ says Anna. ‘So what does that tell you about boyfriends and girlfriends? Boyfriends aren’t usually permanent, even though you might be crazy about them at the time. Nadine and Magda and you have a very special friendship. I think that’s maybe why all the boys get threatened by it.’
‘So you think I should turn Russell down?’
‘I don’t know. It’s difficult. I don’t think there are any rights or wrongs. Which do you really want to go to, Ellie, the concert or the dance?’
‘I want to go to both!’ I say. ‘I want to keep in with Russell and please him. I know the dance means a great deal to him. But on the other hand Magda did suggest going to the Claudie concert to cheer me up – and now she’s the one who needs cheering up, and Nadine too. Oh Anna, I can’t go to the dance with Russell. Do you think he’ll ever understand?’
‘No! But you’ll just have to try to make it up to him in some way,’ says Anna.
She sees my expression.
‘Not that way!’ she says, and we both burst out laughing.
It is sad being in the doghouse. I feel as if I’ve been smacked on the nose, had my bone snatched away and been banished to my kennel. Magda and Nadine don’t fall on me with open arms when I tell them I can come to the Claudie concert after all.
‘Per-lease. You’re not doing us a favour,’ says Magda.
‘You’d obviously far sooner go to this dance with the Walking Sketchbook,’ says Nadine.
I have to breathe deeply and take it. I tell myself that they are my very special girlfriends and their love and support and companionship is of supreme importance to me – even though right this moment I want to slap Magda’s smug face and pull Nadine’s long witchy hair. But I keep my temper – and their own temper improves. By the end of the day things are nearly back to normal, and we’ve all started to plan exactly what we’re going to wear to the Claudie concert and how we’re going to get there, though we’re not quite clear which dad is going to be roped in to do the ferrying about. I give both Magda and Nadine a quick hug when we say goodbye, and they both hug me back hard.
I feel enormously relieved that we’re all three best friends again. But now I’ve got to tell Russell.
That is even worse.
There’s no real way of getting round it. And it’s awful, because the moment I see him at McDonald’s he starts chatting excitedly about the dance and how sad it is that half his mates can’t get any girls to go with them and how great he feels t
hat he can go with me.
‘Don’t feel too great, Russell,’ I say sadly, my tummy a tight knot. ‘In fact, get ready to feel ultra small. And seriously mad at me into the bargain.’
‘What’s the matter, Ellie? Oh God, you can still come, can’t you? Don’t tell me your dad’s put his oar in. He’s got to let you come.’
I see a glimmer of a good way out.
‘I’m so sorry, Russell. I’d give anything to come to the dance with you. But you’re right, it is Dad.’
‘Oh no! But he seemed to get to like me after the first sticky ten minutes. Why won’t he let you?’
‘I think he can remember his school dances and the sort of things that went on,’ I lie smoothly. ‘He’s been so strict with me recently, Russell. I’ve tried and tried but there’s no way he’ll budge.’
Oh Dad, I’m sorry. I feel so mean, but it’s the only way to smooth things over with Russell.
‘How about if I go to see your dad and try to talk him round?’ Russell suggests.
‘No! No, I think that would only make him worse. And he doesn’t know I’ve been seeing so much of you. No, please don’t, Russell,’ I say, panicking. ‘Then he’ll really clamp down and stop me seeing you altogether. He’s already got this total ban on me going out at night.’
‘But he was going to let you go to that concert,’ says Russell, eyes narrowing. ‘Are you sure this isn’t all just a mega-excuse to get out of the dance so you can go off with your beloved girly-friends.’
‘No! Russell! I don’t tell lies,’ I lie, looking hurt.
‘But you are still going to the concert?’ says Russell.