“Come here,” he said gruffly, pulling her up and out of her seat to stand in between his thighs.
He wrapped his arms around her, hugging her close. Then he pulled away, kissing her long and lingeringly. By the time he drew away, she was breathless, her face flushed and her hormones running amok.
“I’ve missed you,” he murmured.
She laughed at that. “You just saw me half an hour ago when you invited me to go to lunch with you!”
His expression was utterly somber. “It was the longest thirty minutes of my life.”
She rolled her eyes but settled into his arms, leaning against his chest. She emitted a contented sigh, marveling at how light she felt. So much freer. The past wasn’t weighing down on her, an unbearable pressure that she’d lived with for so long.
Her dreams had been devoid of nightmares. Every night she went to bed with Jensen, a solid barrier to the outside world and to her past.
And he loved her.
Every day that passed, she became more convinced that they were in this for the long haul. She hated the thought of jinxing them with her newfound optimism and confidence, but for the first time she could look ahead and actually see a different future for herself than what she’d always imagined.
A man who loved her, issues and all. Good friends. A challenging promotion.
Her life was finally coming together.
TWENTY-FOUR
KYLIE and Jensen got out of his car at Dash’s and Joss’s house and Jensen met her halfway around the hood, extending his hand out in an automatic gesture she loved. She slid her hand into his, giving it a gentle squeeze.
She wore a ridiculously goofy grin that was not typical of her at all. Good God, one might even say she was chipper. She shook her head at that thought. Maybe Chessy was rubbing off on her more than she realized.
Or perhaps she was just that damn happy.
“You look beautiful,” Jensen said after he rang the doorbell.
His gaze stroked over her like a painter’s brush, not missing a single inch in his perusal.
“Know what else I look like?” she asked with that same goofy grin.
“What?”
“Happy.”
There was a smugness to her voice that couldn’t be missed. She felt positively cocky, and boy was that a novel feeling. Happy, confident and cocky? The world had to be coming to an end.
Jensen smiled warmly at her and then brushed his lips across hers, just as the door opened.
“Hey you two!” Joss greeted, her face and eyes glowing with the same happiness Kylie was marveling over. “Come in, come in. Now that y’all have arrived we can start dinner!”
Kylie stepped inside and pulled her sister-in-law into a hug. Joss seemed surprised and then delighted at Kylie’s spontaneous show of affection. The old Kylie was reserved and rarely sought out physical contact. The new Kylie was going to work harder at letting her friends know what they meant to her.
“You look gorgeous, Joss. Marriage agrees with you so well,” Kylie said.
Jensen leaned in to kiss Joss’s cheek. “I have to agree with Kylie there. You look positively radiant. There’s nothing more beautiful than a happy woman.”
Joss flushed but seemed delighted with Jensen’s compliment.
“I agree wholeheartedly,” Dash said as he walked to where the three stood.
He wrapped his arm around Joss, pulling her into his side. The love the two shared was so obvious, and before, it would have made Kylie uncomfortable. Seeing her friends so happy and in love had only reinforced the fact that she’d never had that. Had thought she never would.
“A happy woman is a beautiful woman indeed. I’m just fortunate that I make her that way,” Dash added with a smile.
They entered the living room where Chessy and Tate were sitting. Chessy rose and hurried over to hug Kylie.
“You look amazing!” Chessy exclaimed. “And oh my God, look at your shoes! Someone get a camera and quick! This has to be documented. Kylie is wearing heels!”
Laughter broke over the room. Jensen slid his arm around her, rubbing his hand up and down the bare expanse of her arm. She’d worried she’d be overdressed for the occasion. After all, they were merely going to Dash’s and Joss’s house for dinner. But now she was glad she made the effort.
She looked good. With no false modesty, she knew she looked her best. And now that she’d made friends with her heels, she could actually walk without teetering precariously.
“I do love those shoes,” Joss said wistfully. “Where did you get them?”
Dash groaned. “Thanks, Kylie. She’ll break me now.”
Joss elbowed him with a ferocious scowl and Kylie just laughed.
Joss certainly didn’t need Dash’s money. She had all that Carson had left her plus her share of the profits from the business. She, like Kylie, had inherited a portion of Dash’s—and now Jensen’s—consulting firm.
Kylie banked her share, not touching it. She used her paycheck for her bills and the necessities. It was invested and she rarely gave it any thought. But perhaps with her new outlook on life she would consider doing something fun with some of the proceeds. Maybe she and Jensen could take a trip somewhere.
There was suddenly so much she wanted to do and experience. Having a new lease on life made her look at everything so much differently now. She saw the world in color instead of a drab gray.
“Y’all go on in to the dining room,” Joss said, motioning with her hands. “I’m going into the kitchen to start serving it up.”
“I’ll help you, honey,” Dash said, following her.
Kylie sat next to Jensen at Joss’s dinner table that seated twelve. Chessy and Tate sat across from them while Dash sat at the head of the table with a spot for Joss reserved on his right, next to Kylie.
As the food was placed on the table, several oohs and ahhs of appreciation sounded. Joss had outdone herself with tonight’s feast. As Kylie glanced around the table, she realized that this was how it should be at holidays. Friends. No, not friends, family. She’d spent so long focused on the fact that Carson was her only family and now that he was gone she had no one, she’d lost sight of the fact that family was what you made it. This was her family now. Joss, Dash, Chessy and Tate. And Jensen.
Joss had baked Cornish hens with a delicious-smelling marinade. There were at least three casseroles, potatoes, vegetables and of course, a good bottle of wine.
“Oh yummy! Gimme!” Kylie said when Joss uncovered one of the casseroles to reveal Joss’s homemade four-cheese macaroni.
“Watch her, Jensen,” Dash warned. “She gets territorial when it comes to Joss’s mac and cheese. The rest of us have to fight her for whatever we get.”
“I’ll send the leftovers home with you, Kylie,” Joss soothed.
“There won’t be any leftovers after they all get done,” Kylie groused.
“I made an extra one for you,” Joss whispered.
“Hey, I heard that!” Chessy protested. “What about me? Am I chopped liver over here or what?”
“I made dessert for you,” Joss said in a placating tone.
Chessy’s eyes lit up in delight. “Ohhh please tell me you made your caramel pie.”
Joss nodded. “And an extra for you to take home.”
“Only if she agrees to share it with me,” Tate said dryly.
Chessy sent him a mock scowl. “Only if you’re a really good boy.”
“Good grief, Joss. Where did you come up with all the time to fix all this?” Kylie asked. “There’s enough to feed an army here plus you made extras for me and Chessy!”
“This is wonderful, Joss,” Jensen complimented after several bites. “I think I’m in heaven.”
Several other praises were offered and Joss sat down, her face pink from all the compliments.
“This is excellent, honey. Thank you,” Dash said, shooting his wife a smile that even made Kylie shiver.
Now that she’d found love herself, she could vi
ew her friends and their relationships in a whole new light. No longer was she envious of them. She now shared in the wonder of being involved in an actual relationship. Being in love and all the newness that it brought.
She slipped her hand into Jensen’s lap, resting her fingertips on his thigh. He reached down, switching his fork from his left hand to his right, and laced his fingers through hers, squeezing.
Contentment settled deep into Kylie’s soul. Love was said to get better with age, and if that was true then Kylie looked forward to the days ahead. Because right now was pretty damn awesome. If it got better? She couldn’t even imagine.
They joked and talked through dinner. It was a noisy, happy occasion. The atmosphere was relaxed, and even Chessy seemed to be genuinely happy, her eyes sparkling with laughter and love.
Then Tate’s cell phone rang and the light diminished from Chessy’s eyes. She glanced away so no one would see, but Kylie had already witnessed the resignation in her friend’s expression.
Kylie tried to tune out Tate’s conversation, hoping it was nothing that would ruin the evening for Chessy. But it quickly became apparent that whatever the situation was, it required Tate’s immediate attention.
She still didn’t really get it. Kylie didn’t understand the nuances of Tate’s job as a financial advisor. One would think his would be a job that was only demanding during normal work hours. When the market and banks were open. Not late into the evening. What on earth could require his immediate attention and drag him away from his wife with such alarming frequency?
Doubt crept into Kylie’s mind as she pondered the situation and the expression on her friend’s face. No wonder Chessy had worried that he was having an affair. It wasn’t out of the realm of possibility. Stage a call from a client demanding his attention and then he slips away for a few hours with another woman.
She really had to put a lid on her overactive imagination. Chessy needed support. Not validation for her suspicions.
With a grimace, Tate rose, glancing down the table at Dash.
“Can you run Chessy home afterward?” he asked. “I don’t know how long this will take.”
Sorrow swamped Chessy’s eyes. How could Tate not see how much he was hurting her? Could he really be that oblivious? Everyone else saw it. Even Jensen studied Tate with a frown, his gaze swinging back and forth between him and Chessy. There was concern in Jensen’s eyes for Chessy and irritation for Tate.
“Of course,” Dash said, though he was frowning too. “Don’t worry. Joss and I will see her home.”
“Thanks, man,” Tate said. Then he leaned down and brushed his lips over Chessy’s forehead. And lightly caressed one cheek with his hand. “Don’t wait up for me, darlin’.”
Then he strode away leaving Chessy staring down at her plate.
The silence after his departure was pronounced and awkward. When Chessy did look up, there was humiliation in her eyes. And defeat.
Jensen and Dash exchanged quick frowns and Joss stared at Chessy with concern.
Knowing the attention needed to be focused on someone other than Chessy, Kylie quickly scrambled for a conversation topic. Which was new to her, because she usually just sat back and observed or commented on what everyone else was talking about.
“How was y’all’s honeymoon?” Kylie directed toward Joss and Dash.
Chessy sent her a look of gratitude and even tried to smile, but the light was thoroughly extinguished in her usually expressive, bubbly demeanor.
“It was wonderful,” Joss said, though her gaze kept cutting back to Chessy. Then she looked directly at Kylie, one brow rising as if to say, “What are we going to do about this?”
Kylie grimaced and lifted one shoulder in a shrug. She had no idea what to do or say to make her friend feel better. How could she? The only person at this point who could make Chessy feel better was Tate.
“The beach was beautiful,” Joss continued. “And the food was delicious. Our room had a balcony that overlooked the ocean and at night we’d lie in bed and listen to the waves. I don’t think I’ve ever slept as well as I did for those two weeks.”
“You slept?” Kylie asked in amusement. “I’m shocked.”
Dash coughed as he put down his drink. Jensen chuckled and Joss looked shocked by Kylie’s remark. Then she blushed madly and joined in Jensen’s laughter.
“Okay, well maybe I slept a little,” Joss murmured.
Dash grinned and reached over to squeeze her hand. “Was the food good? I can’t say I really remember much except you. Was there even a beach? My memory is a little hazy.”
“Shhh!” Joss squeaked out.
“A beach sounds awesome right now,” Kylie said wistfully.
Ever since she’d had her epiphany about living life and maybe enjoying some of the money she had invested, she’d thought more and more about traveling. A vacation. Maybe more than one. Finally she had the courage to see some of the world beyond her sheltered existence. And she had someone to share it with.
“You should go,” Joss said, seizing the opening. “When have you ever taken a vacation?”
“Never,” Dash interjected.
Jensen studied her thoughtfully. “Maybe we could both take a vacation soon.”
Kylie’s cheeks warmed with pleasure. “I’d like that,” she said softly.
Chessy looked even sadder. Tears glistened in her eyes but she looked away, hiding them from the rest of the table. Kylie’s heart ached for her.
“Chessy, why don’t you get Tate to go away on a vacation?” Kylie asked, taking the bull by the horns.
They were in the company of friends. Trusted friends. There was no sense dodging the issue. Everyone knew. Everyone could see Chessy’s pain. Hiding it didn’t change it.
“He’d never go,” Chessy said dully.
“Maybe you should arrange a kidnapping,” Dash said thoughtfully.
Chessy grimaced. “He’d kill me. He’s working so hard to juggle his client load after his partner quit so unexpectedly. He’s determined not to lose anyone. I’m just going to have to ride it out and hope it doesn’t stay like this forever.”
Jensen cleared his throat and looked as though he were weighing whether he wanted to say something or not. Then he looked at Chessy, his eyes warm with concern and understanding.
“Have you tried telling him how you feel, sweetheart? I know if the woman I loved came to me and told me she was unhappy, I’d move heaven and earth to make it right.”
Chessy’s smile was sad and aching. Her eyes watered again but she looked at them all directly, no longer trying to hide her upset.
“Thank you all,” she said, dodging the direct question Jensen had asked. “I’m just being a big baby. I don’t want to be yet another burden on Tate when things are so crazy with work. I just have to be patient and supportive. Our anniversary is coming up and he’s promised me a night out with no work.”
Dash and Jensen didn’t look convinced. Joss was obviously distressed to see Chessy so unhappy. It was just Joss’s nature to want to help others. She was so giving and generous. Her heart was incredibly soft.
Recognizing that Chessy wanted to shift the topic off her and Tate, Kylie stood and picked up her plate.
“Come on, Joss. I’ll help you clear the table. We can have dessert in the living room, right?”
Joss also stood and began collecting plates. “Absolutely. I’ll get Dash to choose a good dessert wine and then I’ll cut everyone a piece of pie.”
As Kylie walked by Chessy, she leaned down and pressed a kiss to her cheek.
“It’s going to be okay, Chessy,” Kylie whispered. “And you know I’m here for you whenever you need me, right?”
Chessy flashed Kylie a look of gratitude. “Thanks, sweetie. I really appreciate it. But I’ll be fine. We’ll be fine,” she amended.
Hoping her friend was right, Kylie continued on into the kitchen to unload her pile of plates. Joss followed behind a few moments later, her brow furrowed in consternation
.
“I hate to see her so unhappy,” Joss said fiercely. “Isn’t there anything we can do?”
“Short of hitting Tate upside the head and asking him what the hell his problem is?” Kylie said dryly.
Joss made a sound of disgust. “You know I love Tate to pieces, but right now he’s as thick as a brick. I can’t believe he can’t see the misery in Chessy’s eyes when everyone knows how bubbly and outgoing she always is. But she’s only that way when she’s happy. Chessy can’t hide her feelings to save her life. When she’s unhappy, it shows in every facet of her personality. And Tate can’t see that?”
“He likely doesn’t want to see it,” Kylie said quietly. “Because if he acknowledges that she’s unhappy then he has to deal with the fact that he’s made her that way. I think he knows. Deep down. But he’s in denial. By pretending everything is normal, he doesn’t feel guilty.”
“That just seems so chickenshit,” Joss muttered. “I know he loves her. I know that. But gah! This is so not like him, Kylie! I’ve never seen him this way. So distant. So willing to place Chessy second or even third in his priorities. In the past he’s always been so solidly focused on her. The kind of relationship they have, he has to be.”
“I don’t pretend to know anything about the kind of relationship they share,” Kylie said carefully. “But from what I’ve gleaned from y’all, I’d say he’s falling down on the job as her Dominant. Haven’t y’all always said that it’s the Dominant’s duty to see to his submissive’s every need? To put her first and above all else? Isn’t he supposed to cherish her gift of submission?”
“Yes,” Jensen said from the doorway to the kitchen. “Absolutely. Always. No question.”
Kylie glanced up quickly. She hadn’t noticed him coming in. She’d been too absorbed in her conversation with Joss.
Jensen unloaded dishes from his arms and then picked Kylie’s hand up, bringing it to his lips.
“He’s supposed to do all those things,” Jensen said. “And it would appear, at least right now, that he isn’t.”
“I’m glad Joss and I aren’t the only two who see it,” Kylie murmured.
“Well, you two know her better. And Tate as well. I’m just an unbiased observer. But from what you’ve told me and from what I witnessed tonight I would agree that Chessy is very unhappy.”
Joss sighed, closing her eyes. “I wish I knew what to do.”
Jensen smiled gently at her. “There’s nothing you can do except be there for her. Be her sounding board and her friend. Tate has to work this out between them. No one else can.”
“You need help with the pie, Joss?” Kylie asked.
Joss shook her head. “You go back to Chessy so she’s not by herself. I’ll bring in the plates and give her the biggest and first piece.”
Kylie smiled at her friend. “You’re the best, Joss. I don’t think I tell you often enough, but I love you.”
Joss’s lips quivered and for a moment she was silent, as if composing herself. Stark emotion shone in Joss’s eyes. Kylie felt a surge of guilt for not protecting her friendships better. Going forward she would absolutely. Joss and Chessy meant the world to her. It was time Kylie showed that and they knew it too.
“I love you too, Kylie. And I’m so glad you’re happy. Both of you,” she said, including Jensen in her declaration.
“Thanks, Joss. Kylie makes me happy. I’m a very lucky man.”
The sincerity in his simple declaration hit her square in the heart and flooded her with profound happiness. She almost skipped to the living room. She was positively bouncing. Then as soon as her gaze landed on Chessy she felt guilt for being so disgustingly happy when her friend was so obviously miserable.
“Don’t feel guilt for being happy, baby,” Jensen murmured in her ear.
She swung her gaze upward, her mouth gaping. “How the hell do you do that?”
He chuckled. “Do what? Read your mind? It didn’t take ESP to figure out what you were thinking. One minute you looked like you swallowed sunshine and as soon as you saw Chessy, your mouth drooped, you lost the smile and you looked guilty. Don’t be, baby. You deserve to be happy and Chessy would be the first one to say so. She’d never trade your happiness for her own.”
Kylie shook her head in amazement. “You’re incredible, you know that?”