Page 25
Author: Lisa De Jong
“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” I whisper. For some reason, I’m afraid that if I talk too loud, he’ll get even angrier. I’m really regretting coming in here alone now. I can handle sober Reid, but this one is so different from that one.
He steps even closer. Now I can not only smell the liquor, but I can feel his hot breath on my face. My heart is racing, and my legs feel like they might give out at any minute. I think about running past him to the door, but his body is too close.
“Gwen. She was the first and only person I’ve ever really cared about. She lit up my world like the sun one minute, and then burned me with fire the next. You remind me of her, but then again, I would never see her working in this bar, or any bar for that matter. ”
My mind starts racing as I look up in his eyes. Everything about him says he’s telling the truth. His eyes are full of sadness, and his mouth is turned down in the corners. This man is bitter over my sister and it shocks the hell out of me. There are things about Gwen I’ve felt for years, but he’s verifying them. She had a relationship with a guy that my parents wouldn’t approve of…they definitely wouldn’t approve of Reid.
“When did you know my sister? She’s married,” I say quietly. She never mentioned Reid Murphy, but I remember her reaction when I mentioned his name on the phone and it all kind of makes sense now.
He lets out a maniacal laugh, leaning his head so that his mouth is right above my ear. “I met her the summer after her senior year in high school. Things were pretty intense, just like you and lover boy out there, but your parents scared her away from me. She pretended like it didn’t bother her, but I know it did. I saw her a few times afterward, and she was only a shell of who she was when she was with me. ” He rests his forearms on the wall on either side of my head, caging me in before leaning even closer. I feel suffocated by his stare and would give anything to get out of here.
I wonder if Reid was the guy who showed her true love. I know without a doubt she’s felt it, or she wouldn’t be giving me the advice that she does. I wonder if Reid Murphy was her Dane Wright. There are so many questions I want to ask her.
I feel his nose against the skin of my neck. “You even smell like her. ”
“Stop! You’re my boss, Reid, and I need to get back to work,” I say, needing to get as far away from here as possible. I push on his chest, but he doesn’t budge. Panic starts to run through my veins as I squeeze my eyes shut.
He moves one of his arms away from the wall, using his hand to caress my cheek. “You have the most beautiful eyes,” he whispers. I turn my head away from his touch while trying to push against his chest again. He’s too close, and I can’t get any leverage.
“Please, Reid. Just let me get back to work. ” I’m fighting the tears that want to spill from my eyes.
I hear the door click open just as Reid’s lips crash onto mine. I try to push him away again, but he buries his head in the crook of my neck. I look towards the door to see Dane standing there with an incredulous stare, hands clenched at his side. The look on his face makes me sick to my stomach. For a moment, I stay motionless, my eyes locked with Dane’s fiery, desperate ones.
“Can I see you after work tonight?” Reid asks, running his nose up my neck, oblivious that someone else has just entered the room.
“Reid, stop!” I yell again, never taking my eyes off Dane. His expression is now scaring the crap out of me, and burning a huge hole in my heart. “Dane, this isn’t what it looks like. ”
Reid pulls back and looks right at Dane who quickly connects his fist to Reid’s jaw. The force is so great that the contact rings through my ears and knocks Reid backwards onto the floor.
When my eyes focus back on Dane, the veins in his neck are sticking out. I watch as he walks over to Reid, straddles him, and throws another punch to his face. “Don’t you ever f**king mess with something that isn’t yours, you f**king piece of shit. ” His words are harsh, like sandpaper against skin. I step further away from them, wrapping my arms around my stomach.
Dane stands and Reid quickly follows, placing his hand over his battered jaw. “You asshole. Get the f**k out of my bar! Now!”
Dane’s eyes meet mine. My heart sinks when I notice the intense anger and sadness in his expression. “You want Reid, huh?” he asks, swallowing hard. “He can give you all the things I can’t, right?”
I shake my head at him and feel the tears rolling down my cheeks. “He came on to me. He said I remind him of Gwen,” I say. Trying to get through to the anger is almost impossible, though. He’s so pissed that I doubt he’s even processing what I’m saying.
“Don’t give me that shit, Alex. I know he can give you things I can’t. It’s hard to live without nice things, isn’t it? Come on, just admit it; I’m not enough for you, or anyone else for that matter. I’ll never be good enough for anyone to stay. ”
His comments are breaking my heart and pissing me off. I can tell by the way his nostrils are flaring that this is going to be an uphill battle. “Stop!” I shout. “It’s not what you think. He was upset about our kiss at the bar, and he’s drunk, Dane. ” I turn toward Reid who’s still rubbing his hand over his jaw observing us. “Tell him. ”
Dane’s eyes flash to Reid and I clasp my hands over my chest as I wait for Reid to say something. Even half a man would be honest right now. I’m not sure if Reid is half a man, but I’m holding my breath hoping he is.
“You hit the nail right on the head, Dane,” Reid smiles. “I can give her things you can’t. I’m better for her than you are…we both know that. ”
My heart literally shatters at my feet when I see Dane’s reaction. He’s breathing rapidly and his hair is bunched in fists. His shoulders slump forward as obscenities fly from his mouth. I want to run to him and wrap him in my arms, but I think that’s the last thing he wants right now.
When his head snaps back up to look at me, the look on his face makes me nauseous. “Dane, you have to believe me. Reid’s drunk and delusional!” I cry.
He steps so close to me, I can feel the heat of his body on mine. “Don’t play games with me, Alex. You’ll lose. ”
“Why don’t you believe me? How many times do I need to tell you I love you before you believe that you’re all that matters to me?”
He flinches, but quickly recovers, pointing a finger at me. “Other people told me they loved me too, and that didn’t mean jack shit,” he seethes. My heart breaks for him. We’re both broken from our pasts, but Dane is shattered into a few more pieces than I am. He didn’t live in comfort while he suffered. He didn’t have nannies that at least pretended they cared about him. He was alone, and I hate even thinking about it.
“I love you,” I say, searching his eyes for any sign that this will all be okay. I mean every word. I mean those three words more than I’ve ever meant anything.
“You love the idea of me. You love the guy who your parents hate. What is it? Do you like telling everyone about your bad boy, boyfriend? What is it, Alex? Fucking tell me so we can quit wasting our time!” he shouts. With every word, I feel my face heating up.
I move closer to him, too angry to be afraid anymore. “What have I ever done to make you doubt my love for you? I love you so much I can’t see straight most of the time. If I could see straight right now, I’d walk out that door because you’re being an ass!” I shout back. I’ve never been more frustrated in my life and my jaw literally hurts from grinding my teeth.
“Oh, let’s see here. How about the time you wanted to go to your sister’s wedding without even telling me about it? You know, me, your beloved boyfriend. Or, what about the time you f**king left me in the middle of the night because of some stupid threats from your parents? Or maybe, the night you almost screwed Mason Landers…did you love me then? You don’t know what love is! Fuck, I don’t even know if I know what it is!” he yells.
I feel like someone ju
st took my heart out of my chest because it’s not beating. I swear it stopped. I can’t believe he would say such hurtful things to me, not after everything we’ve been through and everything we’ve done to put our relationship back together.
My eyes move away from Dane and stop on Reid who’s standing with his arms crossed over his chest. The smirk on his faces tells me he’s enjoying this and I hate him. I hate him with every cell in my body right now. “Tell him the truth,” I demand, swallowing hard.
“He seems to have it all figured out,” Reid smiles, leaning back on his desk.
I feel hopeless. Dane seems intent on throwing us away over this, but I’m not running. If anyone is going to run this time, it’s going to be him.
I’m going to run right after him, though.
“Dane, maybe we should just go home and talk about this,” I plea, stepping toward him.
“No. Why don’t you go home, pack your shit, and leave? I don’t care who you have to call to make it happen, but I want you out. ”
My vision blurs; he’s definitely running. He’s running hard and fast, and I’m not sure I’ll be able to stop him, no matter how hard I try. “I’m not going anywhere. ”
He steps closer to me, pointing his finger in my direction. “I want you to leave. You’ve probably been waiting for your next chance to leave me anyway. ”
I feel like I’ve been slapped across the face. Everything I say to try to fix this ends up making it twice as bad. “Do you really want me to leave? If I leave, I may not come back. Is that what you want?” I search his eyes, trying to breathe a little sense into him.
He looks towards the door. “Yes, I want you gone tonight. ” He doesn’t bother looking back at me as he walks out the door, slamming it behind him.
I’m stunned speechless. What the hell just happened?
I hear a chuckle and remember Reid is still in the room. “Why did you lie to him?” I scream as I start pacing the office.