Read Global Warming Fun 2: Ice Giants Wake! Page 13
CHAPTER VIII
Token Whites of the Tribe
To Ed's disappointment it wasn't the lovely Talking Owl or even her Grandmother Mouse that soon visited them, but Chief Mike Talking Bear. "I've been instructed to inform you that there will be a ceremony tomorrow to officially adopt the four of you wayward whites into our Tribe. Your attendance is of course mandatory. Congratulations!"
As the Chief shook their hands Jack O'Brian was the first to recover from the announcement. "Can such a thing be done within Tribal law? None of us are of Iroquois blood; none of us even have Native American ancestors of any kind as far as we know."
The Chief shrugged his burly shoulders. "Turtle Man and the Elder Council of Mothers require that it to be done, so it will be done. This is without precedence in the history of the Tribe, but we will be prepared by tomorrow. I have the Tribe lawyers working on the paperwork now."
"Wait a minute!" said Mary. "It is required that we join the Tribe? What if we don't want to?"
"If any of you refuse you will all immediately be evicted from the Reservation."
"But Talking Bear, just this very morning I established an agreement to stay here with Talking Turtle through Talking Owl!" protested Ed. "Don't you talking owls and turtles and bears talk to each other?"
"Considering Tribe security, I persuaded Turtle Man and the Elders to amend your agreement to include the requirement that you and your companions first join the Tribe."
"Tribe security?" Ed muttered in puzzlement.
"OK," said Doc. "Now I get it. This is a way for you to safeguard Tribal secrets. We're going to make pledges and sign legal papers and so-forth, aren't we?"
"That's much of it," Chief Talking Bear admitted. "We want your help but we don't want to be overrun with reporters, government investigators, or the military, and read about ourselves in supermarket and internet tabloids. In brief what happens on the Reservation has to stay on the Reservation. Short of killing you all when you are no longer needed this is the best that we can do."
"When you put it that way Chief, joining the Tribe sounds like a really good idea," said Ed. "And it will of course be a great honor. Tell the rest of the Tribe that we gladly accept."
Jack looked like he was going to object but Doc put a silencing hand over his mouth.
"What do we have to do?" Ed asked.
"Simply show up at the Great Lodge of Turtle Man at nine-thirty tomorrow morning. We'll do all the heavy lifting."
"What should I wear?" Mary asked. "I have a formal gown packed away someplace, just in case Ed ever takes up ballroom dancing."
"When pigs fly," muttered Ed.
"It doesn't matter what you wear," said Chief Mike. "We'll dress you all up in Tribal garb anyway."
"Hey, we won't have to pay Tribe dues or anything, will we?" Ed asked. "I'm pretty tapped out until you pay me."
"No," the Chief reassured them. "You can't buy your way into the Tribe; this one is on the house." He glanced at his watch. "Got to get back to the office now, folks. A VIP visitor has dropped in for an unexpected visit. I'll see you all tomorrow morning!"
"Why should we agree to this?" protested Jack after the Chief was gone. "We won't be able to publish research papers or have artifacts examined by other researchers. Joining the Tribe will be a complete disaster from a scientific research perspective."
"Not as complete a disaster as being dead would be," noted Doc. "I've known these people longer than you have, Jack. Chief Mike was serious when he mentioned killing us as a viable alternative to joining the Tribe. There have been rumors about rebellious Tribe members disappearing and perhaps becoming parts of New York City building foundations."
"I agree," said Ed. "Besides, a plan has been forming in my head about how to save these people from themselves. Listen, we'll play along with whatever they want us to do and truly try to help them, but I guarantee that no stony coated Ice Giants will materialize. This winter the Ice Giants will be shown to be purely mythical and this whole big worry of theirs will all go away. By next summer we'll lead these people away from their myths and kicking and screaming into the twenty first century so that then they can move to a warmer climate where they can still happily grow their corn, beans, and squash if they want to.
"Wouldn't rescuing them from their Mountain obsession be a thing worthy of our efforts? Jack, even if talking with turtles doesn't pan out, talking with birds will be a sensation, and moving this tribe from myth to science will be quite a story in itself. Write research on that if you want to, since by this time next year they'll let you publish it. This whole tribal secrecy thing should go away once they are convinced that there are no Stone-Coats. Maybe they could even create a ski resort and casino here!"
"That all sounds viable and worthwhile," agreed Doc. "I want these people to get recognition for their amazing ancient roots, but I never bought into the Stone-Coat myth. I always figured it was a myth designed in the distant past to help keep their leaders in power, just like a lot of other myths held world-wide are. The required science involved for giants to sleep for centuries inside of boulders and mountains is simply impossible. Let's prove that to these people and try to save them. Yours is a good plan."
"Belief in myths is too deep to eradicate from a culture overnight," Jack cautioned, "but I suppose we can at least give them a good push in that direction. We should be able to make your plan work."
"Except for one tiny thing," said Mary. "What if their myths aren't simply something made up by their religious leaders to keep themselves in power? What if there actually are Stone-Coat Giants?"