Read Global Warming Fun 5: It’s a Dry Heat Page 12

Chapter 8

  The Park

  Ed felt a soft kiss on his cheek, though in his dream he was at the moment sitting atop the shoulder of a huge diamond-covered giant that was walking ponderously through a forest of enormous trees.

  "Wake up, lazy bones," said Mary, before Ed could make sense of being kissed while riding atop a Stone-Coat giant. "Everyone else has been up for hours."

  He opened his eyes to find Mary dressed and sitting beside him on an unfamiliar bed. She was smiling and looked alert and well in the Morning light that streamed in through the window, though the improved light of day also revealed bedding and furniture that was old and worn beyond what would be acceptable in any reputable resale shop. The room looked much better when viewed by only candlelight, he decided, as he finally realized where they were. Mary was energized, however. In recent years she always had much more energy in the morning.

  "GOOD MORNING CHIEF ED," said Wheels from down the hall. "IT IS TEN AM LOCAL TIME AND SIXTY DEGREES OUTSIDE. IT IS AN UNUSUALLY WARM DAY BASED ON LOCAL HISTORICAL DATA."

  "Today is more or less a rest day with respect to travel, Ed," said Mary, "but we are going to see much of Yosemite today, including a better look at the big trees of the Mariposa Grove. Mack and the others have already set off to see the Old Stone-Coats; I volunteered to stay behind with Chief Yellow Bear to get you going."

  "That's awfully nice of you," said Ed. "What are Old Stone Coats? Aren't most Stone-Coats as old as mountains? And who is Chief Yellow Bear?"

  "The Old Stone-Coats referred to are the Stone-Coats that were already living around the Park before our new Stone-Coats sent from Giants' Rest were air-dropped here," Mary explained. "Which Stone-Coats are actually older we don't really know."

  "There were already Stone-Coats here!" Ed exclaimed. There were rumors of Stone-Coats in Europe, the Andes, and the Himalayas, but he had never heard of any Stone-Coats being in North America other than those at Giants' Rest Mountain.

  "That's what Tod says," said Mary. "He says that he hears them sometimes, like you and some of the other Tribe telepaths do."

  "Who is Tod?" Ed asked.

  "Tod is Chief Yellow Bear, our cook."

  "We have a cook? Now that does sound interesting!"

  "And right now he is making your breakfast! Guess what it is? Fried acorn mush! With yummy syrup! And hen's eggs!"

  "You're kidding me!" Ed said, but he was soon out of bed and after a bathroom visit preparing to look for food, wherever and whatever it might be. There hadn't been much to eat yesterday, and he was very pleased now to be told of acorn mush and eggs. Soon he helped Mary down the short hallway to Wheels and then into the small lobby, which featured a smallish wooden table and chairs that sat comfortably close to a wood-fired stove. Wheels rolled Mary the rest of the way to the table.

  Atop the stove was a big old cast-iron frying pan that sizzled and spat as a short, middle aged, rotund man with dark reddish skin, long black breaded hair, and bright yellow shirt. He whistled an unrecognizable tune as he flipped simmering mush slices and eggs onto a surprisingly ornate white china plate. In one smooth motion the man spun around with the plate, put it on the otherwise empty table, and reached out to shake hands vigorously with Ed. "Welcome to Ahwahne Valley, Chief Ed!" he said, "I am Tod Yellow Bear, de facto Chief of the Ahwahneechee Tribe here."

  "YOU ARE STRONGLY TELEPATHIC," Ed replied silently as he seated himself, causing Tod's jaw to drop in astonishment. "CALL ME ED."

  "You spoke to me just now with the silent voice that the whites call telepathically, Ed!" Tod exclaimed. "I'm shocked and impressed! It took me twenty years to figure out for myself that I'm telepathic and not crazy! I've never met another telepath; at least not one strong enough to converse with! I usually just detect an occasional emotion or a word or two from a few people, and some unclear emotions from animals."

  "Well you're certainly telepathic," said Ed. "I'll reserve my judgement for now about you being crazy. Why don't you sit down with us and tell us about your tribe and yourself while I eat this yummy looking breakfast for which I am eternally grateful? Oh! And tell me about where you got that flashy yellow shirt that you're wearing."

  "Sure, Ed!" Tod said, as he sat down across the table from Ed. "The shirt is made from parachutes used to drop Stone-Coat cubes into the Valley five years ago. As we lack the internet and communication devices at first we didn't know what the hell to make of big stone blocks being parachuted from airplanes. Scared the hell out of us until we read the pamphlets attached to them. The parachutes were made mostly into clothing. The material is light but so strong we had to cut the fabric with diamond edged cutters that were also parachuted in. We don't trade for much clothing; plumbing supplies and toilet paper are a higher priority. The parachute material is greatly prized by the Rangers."

  "The fabric you wear is of Stone-Coat manufacture," said Ed. "Mary and I work closely with the Stone-Coats."

  "Yes, Mary already told me about your Mohawk Tribe, and about your Stone-Coat and jant friends back East in New York State," said Tod. "George and Anders want me to cooperate with you and help introduce you to the Mountain Voices."

  "Mountain Voices?" Ed asked.

  "That's the local Indian name for the talking or snoring done by the Old Stone-Coats," said Mary. "But first things first. Tell Ed about the Ahwahneechee, your Grandmother, and what you're doing here now at Yosemite. But keep it short! We need to rejoin the others as soon as Ed finishes with his mush."

  "OK," said Tod. "The Ahwahneechee are a chiefly Miwok tribe that lived here in this valley since the last ice age ended ten thousand years ago. Our tribe name means people of the Ahwahne valley. Ahwahne means 'mouth' because my ancestors thought that the valley reminded them of a gaping bear's mouth."

  "Wow! That sounds something like our Mohawk tribe back east," Ed managed, though it was uncouth and very difficult to talk articulately with a mouth full of mush.

  "That's what Mary told me," continued Tod. "History repeats itself, or acts in parallel anyway! To make a very long story very short, in the middle of the nineteenth century my Tribe was mostly wiped out and kicked out of this valley by the whites. Your Abraham Lincoln may have freed the black man, but he sure screwed us over! The few Tribe survivors were scattered throughout California. We kept returning to this area every few decades, only to be kicked out again and again. In the meantime some of us including my grandmother managed to retain little bits of our history and traditions. She made me promise to try to return here.

  "To my surprise over twenty years ago as a young man I was warmly welcomed here. When the Rangers shut themselves off from the rest of the world, Native American survival skills became essential to them. There are more than thirty Native Americans living in the Park now. My long-term plan is that we outbreed the whites and become the majority."

  "Sounds like a nifty plan on many levels," said Ed.

  "Yes; good luck with that," added Mary.

  "I've got two young wives and seven kids so far, and I'm only getting started," said Tod. "Like my ancestors that lived here long before them, the Rangers now subsist on acorns and wild game, plus chicken eggs and a variety of white-man vegetables that we grow mostly here in the Valley. I say white man vegetables but of course they originally got them from the Indians before they gave them back to us.

  "Some of Grandma's old recipes such as acorn mush have become Ranger favorites. Black oak and California live oak are fairly common in the Valley and surrounding foothills. Acorn mush is the number-one food in the Park, though critters like black bears, squirrels, and chipmunks may sometimes go hungry as a result. Also I have taught the Rangers to make cloth, bows and arrows, and other useful things from what grows here in the Valley."

  "That sounds almost exactly like our Tribe back home before we opened ourselves to the outside world," said Mary. "Ed was recruited by our Mohawk Tribe to use his abilities to detect Stone-Coats waking up. They even made him a chief."

  "Are you really a chief,
Tod?" Ed asked.

  Tod shrugged. "Grandmother claimed to be a descendent of Chief Teneiya, the last great Ahwahneechee Chief, but who really knows for sure? Actually I was raised in Rancho Bernardo San Diego, but fled that area after my folks died of Asian Plague and the Mexicans invaded."

  "And what about the Mountain Voices?" Ed asked.

  "My Tribe ancestors claimed that the mountains around here are haunted by spirits that live within the rock," said Tod. "Some even claimed that they could sense voices that speak softly in an unknown language. That is what I sometimes sense very faintly. It's similar to how I sometimes sense feelings in animals and even words in people, but much fainter. When your Stone-Coat cubes of rock were air-dropped here five years ago, we made the connection between them and our Mountain Voices. Maybe it is Stone-Coats in our mountains, or maybe not, but today I hope to find out for sure."

  "And Mack and the others are doing that right now?" said Ed. "Where are they?"

  "A short walk away from here at the wall of the canyon."

  "El Capitan?" .asked Ed.

  "My people called El Capitan Tutockahnulah, but I suppose El Capitan is easier to pronounce," Tod remarked. "But no, El Capitan is about three miles further down the valley. The trail we seek is an offshoot of the tourist trails that lead up the canyon wall to Yosemite Falls."

  "Let's go!" Ed said, as he stuffed the last of the mush into his mouth and left the table, and pushed Mary outside in Wheels. There they stopped briefly to take in the picturesque surroundings while Mary put on her sweater. At this altitude in the mountains it was much chillier than down in the Great Valley. Their cabin was only one of a long row of log-constructed buildings. Some looked like they may at one time have been shops or restaurants, but now most of their oversized windows were boarded shut. The buildings were situated in an open forest of moderately sized trees of many sorts, connected by well-worn dirt and wood-chip paths.

  They saw several men, women, and children walking about or riding horses, mules, donkeys or bicycles. Some of them wore bright yellow or red clothing that must have also came from the parachutes used to air-drop Stone-Coat rock cubes. Everyone appeared to be busy, and most carried farming tools or harvested crops, reminding Ed and Mary strongly of their Mohawk Tribe back home. It was late harvest-season and there was work to be done in the fields. Dozens of chickens also wondered about Yosemite Village freely, eating whatever insects and seeds they could find.

  Sunlight filtered down through the trees, many of which sported colorful fall leaves. Hundreds of yards behind the cabins and glimpsed through breaks in the tree canopy, a great light-gray vertical granite wall of rock loomed above all, gleaming in the morning sun.

  "Follow me," said Tod. "I will guide you to your friends."

  Chief Tod led them to a well-warn dirt path that wound up around trees and boulders towards the base of the valley wall. Ed mostly helped to merely steer Wheels, who powered himself and Mary up the trail and only needed a helping push from Ed and Tod when climbing a few particularly steep stretches, and also needed some balancing help during a few rough stretches of the pathway. It wouldn't do to dump frail Mary onto the rocky ground. Mack must have earlier had a tough time on this trail in some spots, Ed figured, but having much larger wheels and not carrying passengers would have helped.

  The distance to the valley wall was longer than Ed at first expected; the towering rock face was much larger and further away than it at first seemed. But they made steady progress. "There they are!" exclaimed Mary at last.

  Snake, Doll, Anders, George and Sam all stood silently watching Mack, who was pushed up against the granite Yosemite Valley wall.

  "What's happening?" Ed asked, as they reached the group.

  "Mack says yes there are Stone-Coats here," said Doll. "He downloaded his information to them but it's taking a long time for them to reconfigure and respond. We've been waiting an hour."

  "It has been many millions of years since our Giants' Rest Stone-Coats were in contact with these Stone-Coats," said Mack. "They need to first configure themselves to exchange thoughts with us before they can further reconfigure to accommodate human thought patterns. Another difficulty is that their processing nodes are widely dispersed throughout the Sierra Nevada range and busy with other thoughts. I have been exchanging information with them but the process is slow even in human terms."

  "Will we be able to speak with them directly?" Ed asked.

  "Unlikely," said Mack. "They have doubts about the usefulness of exchanging ideas with water-based lifeforms, and with accelerating their pace of thought to match that of humans as we Stone-Coats of Giants' Rest have done. They are much more interested in processing accuracy than speed."

  "Fascinating!" said George. "Their thought is timed to keep pace with the glacially slow pace of geological processes, such as the building of mountains. These mountains rose only about ten million years ago, but the granite itself is perhaps ten times as old."

  "The Stone-Coats here are at least that old," said Mack.

  "A human lifetime is hardly a moment for them and of little interest or significance," said George, "and human activity has barely scratched the surface of their world from a geological standpoint and is felt to be insignificant."

  "And the activities and thoughts of humans occur at a pace unimaginable to them and are also not regarded to be significant," said Mack. "Giant's Rest Stone-Coat activity has been greatly accelerated by their long association with the human Tribe, with the development of Stone-Coat Ice Giants to gather carbon and other materials, with the detection and study of human broadcasted radio signals, and with recent interaction with humans including the Treaty. These Stone-Coats regard all of that to be highly radical and irrelevant. The amount of processing required to motivate and control each mobile Stone-Coat and to comprehend human thought patterns is regarded to be wasteful and irresponsible. Our activities with humans also leads to greater diversity of thought among individual Stone-Coat units. These Stone-Coats have concerns for the rationality of Giants' Rest Mountain Stone-Coats"

  "Do they oppose Stone-Coat collaboration with humans?" Ed asked.

  "No; they simply don't care," said Mack. "I have downloaded all information I contain to them and they have committed to analyzing it, but that analysis could take them many years or even centuries. It simply isn't of high priority to them."

  "This illustrates how evolution works," noted Mary, "even for Stone-Coats. The Giants' Rest Mountain Stone-Coats were isolated from the others of their kind and responded to unique local conditions that stimulated them to change at a relatively rapid pace compared to the Stone-Coats here."

  "That is a highly useful insight," said Mack. "Yes, it is evident that Giants' Rest Stone- Coats have been greatly altered due to their close interaction with humans. Over time the Stone-Coats here may too evolve in that direction, but not overnight. However they have agreed to maintain an interface capability at this location for additional downloads. I suggest that human Earth geological and astronomy science information be downloaded to them when available; I was only able to provide limited information to them in those subjects but they were very interested in it. They especially want to know what human science has discovered in areas such as cosmology and plate tectonics."

  "Yes, that makes sense," said George. "Such information could also in turn stimulate their interest in humans. I'll dig up information and do what I can, of course. In return I'm sure that they could provide interesting geological insights to us."

  "And you should put an outhouse with a resident Giants' Rest Stone-Coat here also," suggested Snake. "That should for sure stimulate their interest in Giants' Rest Stone-Coats and in humans. In the meantime I suggest that the Rumsfeld vacation be resumed. Let's go see more big trees!"

  First there were five Stone-Coats in restrooms of the Village for Mack and Wheels to reprogram. Ed went with Mack and Mary went with Wheels to help. Mostly the Rumsfelds simply fielded questions from inquisitive Rangers
who were not used to seeing electric-powered autonomous vehicles visit their restrooms. In the meantime the Rangers helped Snake and Doll rig temporary sidecars for their Harleys.

  After a quick brunch that consisted mostly of vegetables and more mush the group set off to revisit the Mariposa sequoia grove with George and Anders riding in the sidecars with Doll and Snake. The return trip was much faster by cycles that didn't keep to mule speeds and along the way they were all able to converse using helmet and canopy radios without shouting very loud.

  Meanwhile from the smooth climate controlled comfort of Mack Ed and Mary were able to enjoy a scenic view of the Park in the daytime, including nice views of the distant Central Valley from overlook points along the road as it twisted along the mountainsides. Though still overgrown with vegetation, the Park wasn't quite as green as Ed remembered it from long ago; but here as elsewhere, life hung on tenaciously through the more intense cycles of drought and flood. Some bushes and trees appeared to be particularly healthy.

  "There is the beginning of a shift and shuffling of species here in the mountains just as is occurring in the Great Valley," commented George. "But over-all, life here is of sufficient diversity to survive and thrive. Mountains have a natural climate change adaptation advantage because different climate zones are only a few thousand feet apart instead of being hundreds of miles apart."

  At the Mariposa Grove the old restroom building was transformed and a hub of new activity. One wall of the building had disappeared to accommodate a ramp that led under the building. Something vaguely resembling a fork-lift with eyes and a dozen stout legs was busily hauling big odd shaped boulders from under the building and up the ramp as a dozen Rangers watched. Half a dozen refrigerator-sized rock formations were already lined up around the building.

  "This is crazy wild!" noted Sam.

  An excited Ranger ran to greet Anders and George before they could even climb out of their sidecars. "You won't believe it, you won't believe a bit of it!" he shouted. "Them stone things you told us about last night are taking over doing work! They're making stuff and doing stuff like crazy!"

  "Good stuff or bad?" asked Anders.

  "Good! Good!" the man replied. "It's a damn miracle! Look at that one over there! We feed it dead wood and dirt that it asks for and it puts out over two hundred feet an hour of new water hose made of super tough stuff! It also put out some diamond-edged shearers for us to use to cut the stuff!"

  "There's another one that is fixing leaks in our underground pipelines! It rolls around on wheels by itself and finds the leak, and then fixes the pipe without even digging it up! Another one is looking close at a partly hollowed out tree and claims to be studying heart-rot and root rot with an aim to stop it! M-1 says that by tonight there will be bigger, more heavy-duty units that will carry away and consume excess dead wood."

  "Which one is M-1?" asked George.

  "The forklift-thing that carries the raw blocks of stone from up and out of the pit," said the Ranger.

  Just then the forklift thing deposited a misshapen sofa-sized rock covered with a thick black billowing covering of nanotubes at the feet of the visitors. "Morning greetings," it said aloud. "This is M-8. Today M-8 will begin to assume a mobile shape similar to Mack and by tomorrow will begin to spread information to the other dormant Stone-Coats of the Park."

  "George, spread the word among the Rangers to expect M-8 and other visitors," said Anders. "Then I want you to assess the situation here and make any adjustments you feel are necessary in consultation with M-1. In the meantime I'll show our guests around the Grove."

  The group moved away from the gathering of busily transfiguring Stone-Coats and excited Rangers to move among the sequoia. The forest was more open than the tourists expected; most trees of all types were far apart such that dozens of the big reddish-barked sequoia could be seen, along with big fir and pine trees that seamed nearly as tall but not nearly as heavy-set. Small trees and bushes were relatively sparse; Wheels could have easily rolled Mary through this forest unaided, if the ground wasn't so hilly. As it was the narrow path they followed was full of bumps, ruts, roots, and gaps, such that Ed and Doll had to help Wheels through many rough stretches.

  "Stay on the paths and do not touch or in any way interfere with any of the plant life," admonished Anders. "This Park is a nature preserve, even if nature is a bit screwed up nowadays." He went on for a while describing tree types and features of particular note. For example the tops were broken off all of the biggest sequoias, they quickly noticed. "Snow, wind, and gravity limit how tall they get before the tops break off," explained Anders, "but growth continues at the interface between wood and bark. The insides of the trees become skeletal dead wood that sometimes burns or rots away and the tree slowly dies from the inside."

  They went on to view many trees that had what looked like caves at the base of their trunks but seemed to otherwise be healthy. One called the Clothespin Tree had a huge open slit running far up its middle, such that it looked like a gigantic old-fashioned human clothespin. Anders also pointed out several other pine, fir, and cedar tree species. Many of these rivaled the sequoia in terms of height, but not in girth.

  Dozens of workers were scattered throughout the grove, attending water-pipes and hoses and clearing away dead branches and modest sized logs. Large dead logs too massive to move were normally left to slowly decay where they fell, but now awaited Stone-Coat attention. They noticed several men and women Rangers over a hundred feet up in the trees, repairing hoses using the new super-tough hoses made by the Stone-Coats.

  After viewing dozens of big trees that all looked pretty much the same the tourists approached an unusually large one. "This huge tree is known as the Grizzly Giant," said Anders. "It's the largest tree in this grove; only two dozen sequoias growing in other groves are known to be larger."

  It seemed no taller than many of the other trees but it was truly massive, with an absurdly thick trunk and several gigantic limbs that were bent like arms with elbows that made it look vaguely like some sort of giant with multiple appendages. Above that the thick trunk seemed to be broken off in its middle; a crown another hundred feet taller was easily imaginable. From the ground around the tree a half a dozen pipes sprouted up, feeding hoses that led both high up the trunk and down into the ground surrounding the tree. A waist-high elevated plank walkway led to and around the tree trunk, such that Ranger workers could get to the tree without compacting the surrounding soil.

  The other visitors were jealous when George helped Mary to traverse the planks to let her touch the bark of the huge tree. In the meantime Ed noticed that Anders was having a private side discussion with Snake before motioning him to join them.

  "I am worried about how quickly the Stone-Coats are changing how we do things," said Anders. "Snake has some of the same concerns and though he says that he trusts you personally he also says that you and Mary have Stone-Coat implants in your brains."

  "True enough," Ed admitted. "It is very convenient."

  "How can we be sure that you aren't a Stone-Coat zombie?" Anders asked.

  "A what?" Ed asked, completely taken aback.

  "Jim and I have both encountered jant zombies," said Snake. "Why couldn't your implants control you the same way that med-ticks help the jants control people?"

  Ed nearly laughed aloud. "I've had these implants for over two months now and they simply don't work that way. I willfully control which of my thoughts get transferred through my implant. It's much like pushing a button and speaking into a radio microphone."

  "Are you sure?" asked Snake.

  "Well I'm highly confident," said Ed. "I'll discuss the whole matter with the Stone-Coats if it will make you feel any better."

  "Maybe we're already doing that right now," said Snake. "You just don't know it."

  "That's the point; I'm highly confident that I would know it," said Ed. "And I wouldn't lie about that because I'm a really lousy liar."

  "That's true enough," Sna
ke agreed.

  "Snake told me that you and Mary tried lying to him when you first met him and that you both really sucked at it," said Anders.

  "Yes, I'm lousy at lying and so are the Stone-Coats," said Ed. "It's certain people and maybe the jants are the ones you need to look out for. People and jants are wired to be suspicious and scheming."

  "OK then," said Anders. "We'll continue on with this Stone-Coat awakening business then. At this point I don't even know how I'd stop them from helping us anyway, and they can apparently do amazing things to help us. They seem to want to do helpful things and my people want them to."

  "That pretty much sums up the Stone-Coat situation world-wide," said Ed. "They are sort of slow and awkward physically but they are damn near immortal and indestructible, smart, and powerful, and they do what they want. Those aspects of them make us humans nervous as hell. But they are also insanely logical, intelligent, capable, and disposed to help humans because we in turn help them. Whether we want them to or not, Stone-Coats and jants are changing the world. We just need to stay on their good sides, help steer them towards what we humans need, and hope for the best."

  "We'll do our part," said Anders.

  "By the way," said Ed, "I have detected no jants in the area. There are some nice bears, deer, and other critters though."

  "We're jant free and trying to keep it that way," said Anders. "We examine all imports for hidden jants and jant eggs. If they want into the Park they'll have to walk or fly in here themselves using their little legs or wings. Which they will probably do eventually, and maybe sooner rather than later. We do have sick people that could use med-tick attention. Molly told us about what she learned about them using her internet."

  "I've been wondering about that myself," said Snake. "A lot of people in the Confederacy have already been secretly using med-ticks to cure disease. Is it possible to use med-ticks without risking becoming jant zombies?"

  "I haven't ever encountered jant zombies, so I can't say for sure," said Ed. "But I can detect, partly understand, and possibly block jant chatter when they communicate with med-ticks. Our Reservation would be a poor place for jants to attempt zombies, as the Tribe has many telepaths that would soon discover what was going on. Other telepaths like Tod could probably learn to do the same and possibly keep the little buggers in line."

  "A very interesting thought," said Snake. "If we're unlucky maybe you'll get an opportunity to try that anti-zombie approach during your vacation."

  "Swell," said Ed.