Read Global Warming Fun 5: It’s a Dry Heat Page 31
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Over the next few days the campers settled into a regular routine. At mealtimes Snake and Doll visited and brought food which they shared together. Then they all sat together around a campfire and talked until Mary fell asleep again. They talked of all sorts of mundane things. Sometimes Ed amused the others by connecting with various forest critters including birds that lived high in the trees. Snake and Doll were transfixed by animal and bird's-eye forest views, but Ed and through their implants Mary experienced a much more intimate sharing. Everything that the animal sensed or thought was assessable to Ed and Mary.
Usually the animals they acquainted themselves with remained hidden from the humans. There was less trauma to both animals and humans that way, particularly in the case of the more intelligent and dangerous animals including bears, cougars, and wolves. One very large and territorial grizzly bear insisted on personally inspecting the intruders, however.
"What the hell, Ed!" Snake whispered, when the gigantic creature sized up Snake by sniffing him from head to toe as it circled him slowly. The bear decided that Snake was the alpha-male of the intruders to his forest and was worthy of his closest inspection.
"Don't worry," said Ed. "I'm feeding him pleasant submissive thoughts and he's calm and merely curious. Just hold still and don't threaten him and soon he'll go away."
"Great plan," said Snake between clenched teeth. His hand was on the hilt of his hunting knife but the bear had claws, teeth, and strength that made him many times more dangerous than even the Stormtrooper leader. The big grizzly could kill any mere human with a single smash of a clawed paw.
At last the creature gave a dismissive snort and walked away from Snake.
"Next time I'm climbing a tree," said Snake. "Why did you let him come so close?"
"I can't control animals," Ed again explained. "I can only try to understand them and make suggestions. Intelligent critters like bears have minds of their own. Mostly I can be empathetic and hint of rewards if I get their cooperation."
The bear walked to the small nearby stream, sat down, then glanced impatiently back at Ed.
"I hinted to him that humans don't taste good and promised him fish," explained Ed, as he strolled to the stream and crouched down next to the massive bear.
"I REMIND YOU OF YOUR MORTALITY," Mary told him silently. "YOU WON'T LIVE FOREVER IF A BEAR EATS YOU, FOR EXAMPLE."
"THANKS BUT LET ME FOCUS NOW ON FISH," Ed replied. "THIS BEAR IS HUNGRY. HE'S FATTENING HIMSELF UP FOR A NICE LONG WINTER'S NAP IN THE MOUNTAINS."
As the bear sat watching Ed and the stream there was a splash as a plump two-foot-long fish leapt out of the stream to land before the waiting bear. Without hesitation the bear held the fish down with a massive clawed paw as he bit into it. Very soon most of the fish was gone and the bear stared again at Ed expectantly.
Ed provided another fish. And then another. The bear ate fish after fish.
Finally a few parting thoughts passed between Ed and the bear, and the massive creature lumbered off into the forest. He was absurdly agile and quiet for so huge a creature.
"Good thing he's finally full!" said Ed. "We were running out of fish!"
"No wonder that bear has such bad breath," remarked Snake, as he approached Ed and surveyed the scraps of fish that the bear had left scattered near the stream. "I damn near puked when he was looking me over and breathing on me with his stinking bear-breath. My throwing up on him probably would have been a very bad move. Oh-oh!"
Ants were gathering to carry away the fish scraps. Big brown ones.
"THE BODIES OF SPAWNING SALMON THAT HAVE MATURED IN THE LIFE-NURTURING SEA ENRICH THE SOIL IN FORESTS SUCH AS THIS ONE," Mary told Ed silently. "WITHOUT THIS ENRICHMENT REDWOOD TREES WOULD NOT GROW TO BE GIANTS."
The jants were surprised when Ed spoke to them using their own language. Like all jant colonies, they knew what humans were and that humans weren't supposed to be attacked or to attack them, but not much more. Within a few minutes however, the local colony was linked with others and brought up to date on all matters related to Ed Rumsfeld and friends.
"IS THERE A REASON WHY YOU AGAIN CONTACT US, ED RUMSFELD?" they asked.
"MOSTLY I JUST WANTED TO EXCHANGE FRIENDLY GREETINGS THAT RE-AFFIRM OUR FRIENDLY RELATIONS," said Ed. "I ALSO WISH YOU TO MAINTAIN TICKS IN THIS AREA TO RENDER MEDICAL AID TO HUMANS IF NEEDED?"
"EACH REGIONAL COLONY MAINTAINS MED-TICKS," said the jants. "WE ALSO OCCASIONALLY EXTEND MEDICAL AID TO SPECIES OTHER THAN HUMAN IF IT SUITS US. DO YOU NOW HAVE MEDICAL NEEDS?"
"NO," said Ed, "NOT CURRENTLY, BUT IT IS PLEASING FOR HUMANS TO KNOW THAT YOUR AID IS AVAILABLE IF NEEDED. IT WOULD ALSO BE PREFERABLE OF YOU DO NOT MAKE OUR LOCATION WIDELY KNOWN."
"ALAS YOUR LOCATION IS ALREADY WIDELY KNOWN BY BOTH JANTS AND HUMANS," said the jants.
"SWELL," said Ed, as he broke contact.
"We're screwed," he noted, after informing the others of the conversation.
"Well at least we know that they know we're here." said Doll. "Not that it changes anything."
"Of course they know where we are!" said Snake, with a shrug.
"And we know that they know that we know they know," added Ed.
Snake shook his hairy head. "True I suppose, but what I'm getting at is that there's a leak among us that we still haven't stopped. So yes, we're screwed but have always been screwed, so nothing has changed. But we'll get by somehow. That's the way these things go, until you're dead and don't have to worry about any of it anymore."
"Thanks for that comforting ray of sunshine," said Ed. "You're turning into a real cup-is-half-full sort of optimist, Snake."