Chapter Four
Adin started driving up a hill. The trees grew right up to the narrow road on both sides with the leaves providing a canopy overhead, blocking the sun.
As they made it to the top of the hill, the road turned into a narrow dirt path in a field. The hill wasn’t too tall, but it felt as if they were on the highest peak in town. He stopped the car and got out. After he opened her door, he took her hand, and they walked in the field. He didn’t say anything. He just walked her over to a huge tree near the edge of the hill. As they got closer, she noticed something over by the tall oak and gasped.
A blanket was spread out over the flattest part of the grass under the shade of the tree. On the blanket was a short wooden tray—it looked as if it were one of those trays that people use when eating breakfast in bed. Beside the blanket sat a picnic basket and more red roses. She was in complete and total shock. She had to bring her free hand to her throat to keep the lump down.
Adin pulled her over to the blanket. “Have a seat,” he said, smiling.
“This is so…” She was at a loss for words, so she settled for the first word that popped into her head. “Unbelievable.”
“I wanted to do something different for our first date. I figured starting off in a restaurant would help us ease into the evening. But you’re very special to me, so a regular date wasn’t going to be enough. This is a place where I like to come and just think, so I wanted to share it with you.”
She felt the lump rise again, so she put her hand back to her throat and grinned as she sat down. She crossed her legs in front of her and watched Adin open the basket. It was wicker, but the inside was actually a cooler.
Adin dropped to his knees beside it. He pulled out a small platter that held chocolate covered strawberries in the middle with chocolate mints lining the outside, a bottle of sparkling water, and two crystal glasses. He put the items on the tray and opened the bottle. He poured a glass for each of them and then put the bottle back in the basket before closing the lid. He reached for the roses and shifted so that he was sitting crossed-legged beside her, their sides touching.
“These are for you,” he whispered, repeating the same line from before.
“Thank you,” she said as she took them out of his hand, examining the roses. This was a smaller bouquet than what he had given her earlier. She assumed these were only half a dozen, until she counted them and realized there were only five roses.
“Five?” she murmured. Not that she cared there were only five, but she didn’t see the logic behind it.
“Not exactly.” Adin smiled. “Um, I wanted to give you one rose for every year that we’ve known each other. Since we’ve known each other seventeen years, I gave you seventeen roses.” He hesitated and glanced away from her timidly before training his eyes on her again. “I didn’t want to show up at your house on our first date without any flowers, but I was worried giving you all seventeen at the beginning would’ve been too much.” He shrugged and looked away. She couldn’t tell, but it almost looked as if he were blushing.
She felt her body trembling when she realized how much thought Adin had put into the flowers. “You really shouldn’t have.”
“Why? Don’t you like flowers?” he asked, teasing her.
“That’s not what I meant,” she murmured.
“What did you mean then?” he asked, whispering again with a concerned look in his eyes.
“I just meant that you didn’t have to go through all this trouble for me.”
“I disagree,” he said as he gently reached up and moved a strand of her hair out of her face.
She looked over at him in awe. If there were any doubts about his feelings before, those doubts were now gone.
“Flowers are unique, don’t you think?” he asked, looking into her eyes.
“Why do you say that?” Flowers weren’t really unique. People received flowers every day. Although she absolutely loved the flowers he had given her, she didn’t consider the gesture a unique one, or two, since he had given them to her twice now.
“Because if you think about it, the sole purpose of a flower’s life is to live and die for someone’s enjoyment. These flowers are uniquely special because the sole purpose in their lives was to live and die for your enjoyment.”
“I never thought of it that way,” she breathed.
Adin continued to stare into her eyes. Legacy could tell there was more he wanted to say in that moment, but didn’t. Instead, he laughed a small, nervous laugh and looked away. “Would you like a strawberry? They’re really good.”
“Sure.” Her smile was stuck on her face. She knew her cheeks would probably hurt tomorrow, but she really didn’t care about that now.
He reached over, picked up two strawberries, and handed her one. She was glad he didn’t try to feed it to her. That would have been too much for her heart to take.
“When I was planning our date, I remembered you eating a couple of these at your birthday party, so I figured these were a safe choice.” He laughed again.
She remembered back to her party. She was pretty sure she had her back to Adin when she’d gotten her plate of food that night and had been with Lissa’s co-workers when she ate. The only way he could’ve noticed was if he were really paying attention to her. That thought sent a shiver up her spine—in a very good way.
She ate her strawberry, which was delicious, and reached for her water—the perfect complement to the strawberry. He’d definitely planned this well. He finished his strawberry and slipped his hand into hers. They both looked out over the horizon, and then she suddenly realized why he’d picked out this perfect spot.
“The sunset is beautiful,” she murmured. And it was. From their angle, the sun was centered over the horizon and falling behind the distant hills. It wasn’t hot in the shade and the wind was all but forgotten. She could have sat here with him forever.
“It is,” he responded. Not taking his eyes off the sun, he took their joined hands and put them into his lap. He then took his free hand and molded it over their hands, holding her one hand tightly between the two of his. “That’s why I liked to come up here. No matter what I may be going through, I can watch the day end and know that another is coming tomorrow. A new day brings with it new hope.”
Ironic, this was the place he came to when he wanted to put a day behind him and welcome a new day, but in this moment, she didn’t want this day to end. “Do you come here often?” she wondered, pulling him out of his reverie.
“Hmmm…yes and no. I didn’t used to, but I’ve found myself coming here a lot lately.”
“What have you been struggling with?” she whispered, not wanting to pry, but concerned.
“What?” He looked back at her with wide eyes.
“You said you come here when you want to see the end of a day because each new day brings new hope. If you’re coming here more often,” she guessed, “then, you’re seeking a lot of hope.”
“Insightful,” he breathed, and looked back down.
“Why is that?” she persisted.
“Because of you.” He was barely audible when he spoke.
Her heart started racing, and she could feel the blood rushing up to her face. Her breathing became heavy, and she wasn’t sure how to control it, nor was she sure if she wanted to.
Adin looked at her with gentle eyes. “Legacy, I care about you…a lot. And that…that scares me.”
“Why?” she asked automatically because she was still reeling over how much he felt for her.
“Legacy…” he said slowly, shook his head, and looked away. He didn’t want to answer. He was obviously uncomfortable talking about his feelings.
“I’m sorry,” she said, and looked down at her lap—wanting to look at his lap instead since that was where he was holding onto her hand. The one part of her body he was squeezing as if he were trying to get strength from her.
He took his hand off the top of their joined ones and gently lifted her chin with his finger unt
il she met his gaze. “Don’t be sorry,” he said with a smile. “It’s just that part of me feels like I’ve waited too long. If I’d approached you sooner, we would have had so much more time together. Yet, now that I have you here, with me, like this,” he said as he trailed off and shook his head again, looking for the right words. “I’m terrified.”
She looked at him. Even though his words seemed so unbelievable, she was relieved he felt about her the way she did about him. But she couldn’t trust her voice enough to speak yet.
“I’m terrified,” he continued, “of a lot of things. Things like knowing the right thing to do, knowing how I feel about you, wondering how you feel about me, and not knowing what to do about all those things and many other things. I don’t know what the answers are—what really is the right thing.”
“We don’t have to know all the answers,” she whispered, looking at the setting sun.
“No, we don’t,” he agreed, and turned to watch the sun fall completely below the horizon.
It was beautiful. She had never watched a sunset before, so it thrilled her that she got to experience this for the first time with Adin. They were both quiet for several minutes after the sun had set. Her thoughts were drowning in this moment, which was beyond perfect. As she thought about how happy she was just sitting here beside Adin, she began to wonder what he could be thinking. If his thoughts were the same as hers. But she didn’t want to ask. She was happy sitting here not speaking.
“Would you like another strawberry?” Adin asked after several more minutes had gone by.
“Sure,” she said, smiling at him. He held her gaze longer than necessary before retrieving two more strawberries from the platter.
As she ate, she knew her personality had shifted over the course of the evening. Before, she had been shy and didn’t allow herself to think of the possibilities with Adin. Now, she was happy embracing all those forbidden possibilities.
Now that the sun had set, it started to get dark. Adin sighed, and she assumed it was because he realized they’d have to go soon.
He looked back into her eyes. He took his free hand and delicately brushed her cheek with trembling fingers. His touch on her face was indescribable. He sighed again and put his hand down onto his lap without taking his eyes off her. “I’m not sure how to do this,” he confessed, and she realized that this was one of the things that terrified him. He didn’t know how to be with her. “We’ve been friends for so long,” he continued, “and I’m scared that I—I mean, we—might do something that will hurt that friendship.”
“Why don’t we just play everything by ear?” Then she couldn’t help herself; she reached up with her free hand to stroke his cheek. She wanted to comfort him. She wanted to touch him. Her hand was cold against his warm cheek, and with her trembling fingers, she could feel how soft his face was.
Adin’s breath caught, and his eyes bored into hers at her touch. He reached up with his free hand and placed it over hers on his face. Her hand curved around his features, and she could feel his hot breath on her cold palm. He shut his eyes and leaned slightly into their hands. Even though only several seconds had passed without either of them moving, it felt like an eternity.
He opened his eyes and shifted his head back up. He seemed unwilling to, but eventually, let his hand fall from hers. She slowly slid her hand down his cheek until the tips of her fingernails grazed his jaw and then dropped her hand back into her lap.
“That sounds good to me,” he whispered.
What was he talking about? She had to quickly think back at what she had just said. Right, playing it by ear, she remembered.
She smiled at him and nodded.
He reached back up and stroked her cheek again while he spoke. “But I think we should take things slowly.”
She started marveling in how strongly her reactions were to him. She wanted to put her hand on top of his like he’d just done to her. Then she remembered the night of her birthday party when he’d hugged her and she couldn’t stop herself from caressing his neck, just as she couldn’t stop herself from caressing his cheek a few minutes ago. The bond of their friendship had grown much stronger. She knew she’d have to be more aware of her reactions if they were going to be taking things slowly.
“Slowly works for me,” she said with a half-smile, keeping her hand in her lap.
He moved his hand across her cheek to beside her ear and then slowly slid it down her jaw before dropping it from her face. He finally unlocked her from his gaze, looking down at her hand that he’d been holding all evening. “Slowly,” he murmured, but it seemed as if he were directing that to himself rather than to her. He looked back at her eyes and smiled. “We should probably get going.”
He released her hand after she nodded and picked up the platter to put it in the basket. Then he hesitated and put it right in front of her. “Would you like some more before I put this away?”
Knowing she was already beyond stuffed, she took a couple of the small mints and said, “Thank you.”
“You’re welcome,” he said smiling, a little more relaxed.
He put the platter in the basket, and she picked up the glasses and handed them to him. Partly because she wanted to help, but mostly because she knew she wouldn’t be able to drink more if he’d offered.
They both stood up, and he folded the blanket and placed it over his arm. He picked up the basket with the same hand, and placed his free hand on the small of her back. They walked over to his car, and he opened the door for her before putting the items in his trunk. After he started the car and got on the main road, he reached over to hold her hand again.
The ride to her house was pleasant. She glanced at him often, and she could feel him doing the same. They were both smiling. Every now and then, he’d rub his thumb on the side of her hand. But neither of them said much, so she spent the time going back over the evening in her head. She never wanted to forget even one detail.
Suddenly, she considered what might happen once they got back to her house. She was surprised she hadn’t thought about this possibility when she was thinking about all those previously forbidden possibilities. Was Adin going to kiss her tonight? She felt new nerves in the pit of her stomach. She tried not to think about it but then felt Adin rub his thumb on her hand again. It was as if he were trying to soothe her worries. Maybe he’d been thinking about this already and that was why he’d been rubbing her hand periodically. Maybe he was trying to soothe his worries too. Regardless, she was immediately pleased she had eaten a couple of the mints before he’d put the platter away.
Adin pulled into her driveway and walked around to her side to open her door. He guided her while they walked to her porch. This walk seemed to take forever, yet it was over way too quickly.
Once they were standing in front of the door, she looked at him. His eyes were gentle, and she feared hers were panicked. Luckily, she didn’t see that reflection in his.
“I’ve had a lovely time with you this evening,” he whispered.
“Thank you. It was better than I could have ever imagined,” she said as she felt her body trembling.
“Me too.” He looked down.
She was lost in her own thoughts trying to read his. She couldn’t help but wonder if he’d decided which way he was going to go. Kiss or no kiss? She knew she would soon find out.
Unable to speak, she smiled a shyly and placed her hand gently on his chest. That was a mistake. Now she could feel how hard his heart was beating, and it was beating much faster than hers. It was crashing into her hand, and she watched as his gentle eyes turned intense at her touch. Realizing she was holding her breath, she exhaled slowly, but was unable to remove her hand or look away from him. He slid one hand onto her cheek, and she took an unsteady breath. Her heart was now beating just as fast and as hard as his was.
Adin took a step closer so that their bodies were touching—just barely touching—and tilted her head up in his direction. He placed his arm around her lower back, pull
ing her tighter against him while he leaned his head down toward her. He slowly placed his cheek against hers, holding her face against his. She no longer needed her hand on his chest to know his heart was racing. They were so close to each other that they could both hear and feel each other’s hearts beating.
“I can do this slowly,” he breathed.
Her breathing came much too fast and shallow. She started to feel faint. She put her free hand around his back to stabilize herself. She didn’t want anything embarrassing to ruin the moment. Although, he was holding her so tightly that he probably wouldn’t have noticed.
She slid her other hand up from his chest to the side of his neck. His breathing became ragged, and she started to feel weak. She didn’t want him to let go of her, but she didn’t know how much longer her heart could stand this.
“Legacy,” he breathed as if he were in disbelief she was actually in his arms. Then he shifted his head and slowly brushed his lips down her cheekbone. A shiver went up her spine, and she felt his knees buckle slightly—she wasn’t the only one fighting weakness. He stopped in the middle of her cheek and kissed her there, pressing his lips gently against her skin and then pulling away to lean his forehead against hers.
They stood there for several seconds feeling each other’s heart beating and listening to their breaths slowing. And she knew he was trying to maintain his hold on the whole going slowly concept.
Then he let go of her face and put that arm around her neck to hug her. Her hand went from the side of his neck to around the back of it, caressing it slowly at his hairline. They held their embrace for several more seconds, and then with a final squeeze, he released her. After he stepped back and they slowly slid their hands off each other, he took both her hands into his.
“I’ll see you when I get back,” he said with a soft smile, and leaned in to kiss her forehead before meeting her gaze again.
“Have fun.”
He let go of one hand first as his body turned away from her. He kept his eyes on her as long as he could, then turned his head and slipped his other hand free as he walked away.
She stood on the porch watching him leave. Once he was in his car, she could see his face again. He had a glow that she’d never seen before tonight, a glow she was sure she shared.
She turned to walk into the house, inhaling his lingering scent, and knew this was a night she’d never forget.