rattlesnake! I couldn’t see it, but I obviously upset it. I slowly got back up just waiting for the sting from the bite, but it never came. I turned and looked back and sure enough there was about a three foot long rattlesnake! Now I’ve seen a lot of shows were some guy grabs a snake like its no big deal, or shoots it and eats it for dinner, but I figured I was ahead of the game with this guy by just not getting bit, so I slowly backed up and let the snake be.
Having my adrenalin pumped up a bit I decided rest was overrated, and I just started walking again, this time keeping a sharper eye on the ground. I was not quite as sure about finding my truck anymore, so I figured I should ration my last bottle of water, and I took small sips to conserve what I could. I kept walking.
I had been awake for over twenty four hours by now, and it was starting to get to me, I needed to figure out a way to get some rest without dying in the process. There was no break from the sun, and I was afraid if I lay down I would cook in no time. I can’t remember a time when I was so exhausted, but I kept putting one foot in front of the other. I thought about my wife, and what she would do without me. I thought about my kids, and how they would react when they found out. I thought about the great times we all had together, and how my wife completed me. I couldn’t help but think about how this was the first time I had gone anywhere without her, and I guess now I know why. She is my life compass, she keeps me from being my dumb ass self, and right now I can only think about how much I would miss her.
The thought of spending another night in this hell on earth was very depressing, but it was getting to be dusk again, and I could not do the same thing as last night I wouldn’t make it, that much I knew. I started to try and figure out how I would stay warm, and maybe even get some rest. I had been walking all day, and I did not see one item that I could use to help me, I know on the survival shows there was always something that shouldn’t be there that would be found to help the show host make it through, seems kind of like maybe that was all a bunch of set up bullshit. I thought maybe if I dug a shallow ditch I could stay a little warmer so I got down and started digging with my little garden shovel.
Now I never put much thought into it, I just figured the desert would be easy to dig in, guess what, its not! At least not the area I was in. I dug and scraped, and finally got a little depression in the ground, but it was really a waste of time because I was not going to be able to cover myself with the warm sand like I was hoping. The dark was closing in, and I knew the cold would soon follow. Fire was still out of the question, so I just sat in my little ditch, and pulled my t-shirt over my legs, put my arms inside and started breathing down the neck. I waited for the long night of cold torture to begin. Soon I actually dozed off.
I was startled awake by something, and I couldn’t be sure how long I had slept, but something didn’t feel right. It was so dark I could not see more than a few feet, and then I heard the first howl. At first it didn’t register, and then a second howl made me realize there were coyotes somewhere in the darkness, just what I needed! I took out my 9 mm and clicked off the safety. I was not sure how to proceed, would the coyotes go away if I fired off a few shots in the direction of the howls, or should I wait till I see them? A third howl made up my mind for me, and I let loose with three rounds in that general direction.
I have a seventeen round clip and one in the chamber but if I crack off three rounds each time I hear a sound, my pistol would become a throwing instrument in no time, I needed to calm down. One thing was for sure, I was done sleeping for the night.
It is truly amazing to me how slowly time can go by when you are uncomfortable, scared, and unable to see very well. I waited in the darkness for something to happen, a sneak attack, a sound, a growl, anything, but nothing happened so I guess at least for the time being the coyotes had left the area.
Hour after hour passed, I was getting hungry, I was cold, and I was not very happy at all, when finally I again saw those first creeping orange red rays of the sun on the horizon. “Thank you god” I made it through another night, I was sure that today would be the day I got back to civilization, after all, I learned my lesson, I know now that it’s easy to get lost, I was sorry for being such a jerk and thinking other people were stupid for dying in the desert, I would surely be forgiven and have a second chance now right?
I got to thinking about an old man I knew telling me a long time ago that “old people go to church to hedge their bets” and I remember thinking he was kind of a jerk for saying that, but here I was a non church going person doing what I could to make a deal with god to save my neck and get me out of this mess, and I couldn’t help thinking about who was trying to hedge his bets now? I never felt that going to church was a requirement for being a spiritually good person, and I never really did a lot of praying because I thought I already had a lot to be thankful for and when other people had less it just seemed wrong to me to ask for more, but this was different, and I didn’t think praying should be out of the question. So before I started on my trek this day I said a prayer for assistance, if only to hedge my bets. One thing I do know is no one will help you if you don’t help yourself so I got my butt up, ate the last half of the energy bar I had left, and headed over the next hill.
I was getting tired of lugging my metal detector with me, but parts of it I could use as a walking stick so I took it apart, and threw away the parts I didn’t want. Maybe someone else will find them some day and be able to use them to, oh I don’t know, start a fire, or catch lunch. Oops I forgot I was giving up being a smart ass in order to be saved from being a dumb ass! Sorry.
As I was walking along I was keeping count of the things I saw that could kill me or at least make me very sick. Before too long I came across three more rattlesnakes, two scorpions, and a whole bunch of really big hairy spiders, this was great! Now I suppose I should have researched how to catch, and eat those things, and I do remember a show where the host caught a rattlesnake, skinned it, ate it, and peed in the skin so he could carry it with him and drink it later when he got thirsty. But I chose not to do any of those things, and instead just keep my distance. Besides I am not sure if I could ever get thirsty enough to drink hot pee from a snake skin anyway, and with my luck I would probably just puke it up and become even more dehydrated than I was to begin with.
I could feel the sun blistering the skin on my neck, and my lips were cracked and starting to bleed, I could not open my mouth without tasting blood. I kept walking, over one hill, then the next, each time looking around in hopes of seeing something besides more hills, but all I saw from each hilltop was more hills, damn, where was my truck? I was getting pretty tired, and my water was gone, when off in the distance I saw some dark things lying on the ground. I was suddenly filled with a bit of hope, maybe there would be something in that pile that I could use to help me get out of here, and I picked up my pace as best I could, and headed off to see what was in that pile of stuff.
The things I saw were on the next hill almost to the top, and I was starting to struggle a bit getting there, but I wasn’t going to stop now. One foot in front of the other, and after what seemed like an hour I got to my goal. I couldn’t believe it! I just found a pile of metal detector parts! From my metal detector! I had been walking all day long in a big damn circle! I guess hedging my bets with a prayer didn’t work out for me this time.
In my life I have been hurt, I have been humiliated, I have been in situations where I was uncertain what would happen to me, but I have never felt as defeated as I did at that moment. What could I possibly do now? I have no water, I have no food, I obviously have no sense of direction, and worst of all I have no plan. I sat down next to my pile of parts to try and decide what my next move should be. I could not believe I wasted at least half a day walking in a circle, but then I started to think maybe I had been doing that all along, and I was just walking around my truck not seeing it. The thought of being such a non-directional dweeb kind of gave me a little hope. I know it’s not much, but if I was just missing my tru
ck by walking around it, maybe I could stumble on it by walking at right angles to where I had been.
Re-energized a little, I pulled myself back up to my feet and looked around trying to decide which direction would be a right angle to my prior circular direction. The sun was almost directly above me, so I reasoned it was either a little before or a little after noon, but I wasn’t sure anymore which way was east or west, let alone north or south. Logic was starting to escape me, so I figured I would just pick a direction and go, after all what could happen? I could get lost? I could die? Or as I was hoping, I could find my frickin’ truck! I went off to my left; it seemed a reasonable route, mostly because it started out going downhill.
I remembered from my days on forced marches in the military, if you put a small pebble under your tongue it helps to create saliva and you wouldn’t be as thirsty. I found a suitable pebble, and stuck it under my tongue in hopes that it would help relieve my overwhelming thirst. One foot in front of the