Yes they are.
ALEX: And that the evident abnormalities traceable are those of the ever increasingly absent mother?
MONICA: No sir, they are not.
TITI: No way.
DENISE: They are.
TITI: They’re not. The abnormalities are the result of the almost complete absence of the father figure in the children’s upbringing.
ALEX: How can you look at me and honestly say that, Titi! I’ve been here for all our children more than my father had ever been there for me. You know this!
DENISE: Today you find fathers all over their children, more than it was ever the case before.
ALEX: Maybe they’re doing a bad job of it or their spouses should be doing more than they profess to be actually doing.
MONICA: Mama Dayo, these men will just talk on endlessly.
TITI: A number of beer bottles and we could be in a bar.
b/g (Both women laugh)
MONICA: Besides someone is looking for an excuse to stay home this morning.
ALEX: But I reiterate again that my children’s proper upbringing in a home where both parents are steadily available is more important to me than any civil society nominated hyped-up job, no matter what it pays.
TITI: No one said I will be unavailable.
ALEX: No one ever will, you will just be. That is always the case.
MONICA: Sir, I think you should reconsider your stance. These jobs are usually not all that engaging. I did an extended internship in a branch of a similar organization after my compulsory national youth service year.
ALEX: Just come off it, my dear.
MONICA: Really sir, I remember only the civil servants were keeping real office hours. The elected politicians and nominated officials were always away pursuing their own personal interests.
DENISE: Sir, I also think you should reconsider your stand and allow her.
ALEX: Denise, this isn’t just about her or me or the job separately. It is about a young toddler and three teenage children. It is about the constant provision of those many daily needs of theirs that would mold them in good characters.
MONICA: I’m sure it will all sort itself out sir.
ALEX: In a number of years when they are all grown up maybe, but certainly not now when they are still tender shoots.
TITI: Haba, Baba Dayo.
ALEX: Don’t patronize me please, Titi. My friends, sorry for all the noise, I’m really sorry we disturbed your quiet Sunday morning.
b/g (Furniture movement)
DENISE: Not to worry sir.
ALEX: Sorry, but I must retire inside now. I want to catch a program on radio. Have a nice day.
DENISE: Thank you sir.
b/g (Door creaks and clicks shut)
MONICA: It will be well Mama Dayo, have faith.
TITI: Thank you my dear.
MONICA: Just keep at it ma, I’m sure he will let off later.
DENISE: By the way, congrats ma.
TITI: Thank you. I thought Moni had told you.
DENISE: You mean she knew?!
MONICA: I have known for a whole week now.
DENISE: (Gasps) Really?!
TITI: I consulted her earlier.
DENISE: I see.
MONICA: Well sort of, actually.
DENISE: And you are just telling Mr. Alex?
TITI: We had to be tactful.
MONICA: The timing had to be perfect.
DENISE: No wonder he is so pissed off.
MONICA: Now that he knows, just be patient Mama Dayo.
DENISE: (Barely audible) I don’t believe it.
TITI: What was that?
DENISE: Oh nothing, just we really must leave now.
TITI: Thank you! Sorry I didn’t offer you any breakfast.
MONICA: Ours is all served already, we will be off now.
TITI: (Slightly muffled) Thank you for coming like this, bye.
b/g (Creaking door, door clicks shut, footsteps)
MONICA: (OFF) It’s really okay Mama Dayo. Bye.
DENISE: (OFF) Good bye ma.
TITI: (Slightly muffled) Bye.
Scene Three
INT
b/g (Door creaks open)
DENISE: Women, women, women! So the whole thing was an elabourate act. You ladies had planned the whole thing and you were in on it from the very start.
MONICA: You see how presumptuous you men can be?
DENISE: What do you want me to believe? You knew of all this from the beginning, for God sake!
b/g (Door clicks shut, footsteps, furniture movement)
MONICA: Yes! But she only just told me the weekend she was nominated and we agreed that she shouldn’t break the news to him just yet. Then the swearing-in came up quite suddenly; before she could come round to telling him.
DENISE: Come round to telling him? Are you serious? She is his wife and they live under the same roof!
MONICA: Yes, but because he holds…well, held this Miss Tetuma in high esteem, we thought it would be best if she broke the news to him herself instead.
DENISE: So you knew her too before today?
MONICA: Know of her, yes. But I only just met her too.
DENISE: You didn’t mention any of this to me and you knew all along.
MONICA: I thought it was better if I didn’t, because you just might not be able to stand the thought of Baba Dayo not knowing. Obviously, l was right.
DENISE: Well, thank you my dear. How very considerate of you.
MONICA: (Giggles) You’re most welcome, sir.
DENISE: You ladies are something else. You know what I believe hurts him the most is the fact that his wife was sworn in for the job without his prior knowledge.
MONICA: I thought it was kind of harsh too.
DENISE: I would be mad too!
MONICA: Boy, but that Miss Tetuma is such a handful.
DENISE: (Scoffs) She is nothing much.
MONICA: She had you guys going in circles, admit it!
DENISE: Nonsense! I was just being polite because of her age.
MONICA: (Chuckles) Just admit it, she was quite a handful.
DENISE: More of a mouthful, if you ask me. (Chuckles)
MONICA: She made some salient points though.
DENISE: She was simply being invasive, like every other busy-body.
MONICA: Mama Dayo deserves this break and you know it.
DENISE: That is beside the point. This Tetuma woman has no business telling the man how to run his home. She simply had no right!
MONICA: She was merely helping Mama Dayo.
DENISE: You know simple things such as this could potentially disharmonize their marriage and derail it.
MONICA: No it wouldn’t. They will sort it out, you will see.
b/g (Chair creaks)
DENISE: What makes you so sure?
MONICA: A marriage doesn’t last as long as theirs without having its share of trying and testing times.
DENISE: He will sort it out eventually, I suppose.
MONICA: She would sort it, probably.
DENISE: And what do you mean by that?
MONICA: Their marriage has lasted this long solely because of her continuous compromise. If she now insists on having her way without his say so…well then things could be bad.
DENISE: Are you saying she decides this, not him?
MONICA: Why do you find that had to accept?
DENISE: That her actions would determine this and not his?
MONICA: Yes?!
DENISE: I just know it would work out the way he lets it. I just hope they sort it out without any lasting effect.
MONICA: They will sort it out well enough, you will see.
DENISE: He will sort it out!
MONICA: I don’t want to argue, please.
DENISE: Then please, just give me my breakfast now. All that talking and arguing just made me hungrier.
MONICA: Wash up first.
DENISE: Oh come on!
MONICA: When you wash up and dress up, breakfast
will come next, then church. Giddy up, lazy bones!
b/g (A flurry of hurried steps; Monica screams amidst continuous giggles)
DENISE: (OFF) Bully.
MONICA: (OFF giggles) Sorry, sorry, sorry!
Scene Four
INT
SFX (Newspaper pages crackle repeatedly)
b/g (A door squeaks open,)
TITI: I thought you were going to listen to the radio.
b/g (Silence)
Papa Dayo?
ALEX: (Barely audible) I changed my mind.
b/g (Silence)
TITI: So will you have your breakfast now?
b/g (Silence)
Papa Dayo?
ALEX: (Sighs and hisses impatiently) No, not now.
TITI: Okay.
b/g (Newspaper pages crackle still)
Mama called to say you should come for the children later in the evening instead.
b/g (Silence)
She said something about having a Friends’ meeting at the house and she wants the children to help her make refreshments for her guests before returning.
b/g (Silence)
Hello, do you hear me?
ALEX: (Hisses) You told me all this last night.
TITI: But can I say something else? (Pause) Please.
DENISE: It’s your mouth; I can not stop you from using it.
TITI: But you will have to listen?
b/g (Silence)
Please, Baba Dayo.
DENISE: Talk!
b/g (Silence)
TITI: (Sighs) I just want to say I’m sorry for what happened.
b/g (Silence)
It wasn’t my intention to embarrass you or disobey you.
(Coughs) I…I was not prepared to explain the sudden turn of events to you by myself and I was really hoping that the good relationship you have with…., or had with Miss Tetuma would ease things out for me.
b/g (Silence)
I’m sorry. (Pause) Papa Dayo?
b/g (Newspaper pages crackle)
Honestly, I had not planned to be nominated. I had set out to do Miss Tetuma a favour. I might have been quite forward or showy at the societies’ meeting. I contributed positively and kept pointing out the flaws in the state administration’s plans for structures in its proposed New city lay-out.
b/g (Newspaper pages crackle)
I didn’t know anything about an opening in the council for the Women civil societies. I must have made a pretty good impression with my professional knowledge of the structural designs we were discussing. (Pause)
Papa Dayo?!
ALEX: What?
TITI: Are you listening to me?
ALEX: I am listening and I heard you.
b/g (Silence)
TITI: (Sighs) Before I knew better, I found myself unable to back out without letting the whole women societies look bad.
ALEX: So you choose to let your family look stupid instead?
TITI: How can you of all people say that?
ALEX: And why can’t I? You took a major decision without inquiring what your family thinks, or what effects your decision will have on your family.
TITI: Can’t I take a decision on our family’s behalf?
ALEX: Fine, you just did that on your very own.
b/g (Newspaper pages crackle)
TITI: No that is not what I meant. I…I was in a demanding situation, where I had to take a decision for the family and I did. Can’t I do that?
ALEX: That makes sense for the so obviously well influenced nomination you got, but certainly not for the swearing-in.
TITI: But by accepting the nomination, I had by extension also accepted to be sworn-in. Surely, you can see that.
ALEX: Fine.
TITI: Please reason with me. I’m sorry about all this.
b/g (Prolonged silences as newspaper pages crackle louder)
Please.
ALEX: Woman, you’ve done your bit as you saw it fit.
TITI: You have to let me do this. It means a lot to me.
ALEX: Let you? But you have already done it!
TITI: You insist on rubbing this in, don’t you?
ALEX: I’m not rubbing anything in, you’re!
TITI: How is that?
ALEX: Sixteen years we have been married without any hassles and you had to go and do this….this rash thing.
TITI: Rash thing?
ALEX: Your action was rash.
TITI: You call getting a job rash?
ALEX: Did you go looking for the job?
TITI: It sort of found me, I guess.
ALEX: Whatever! I wasn’t part of the decision you felt you had to take. It was foolish and you know it!
TITI: (Sighs) No it wasn’t, I had our interests at heart!
ALEX: And as if that isn’t enough, you brought that arrogant ‘male-wanna-be’ of a woman to embarrass us in front of a much younger couple that look up to us.
You just had to do it!
TITI: Today Miss Tetuma is an arrogant ‘male-wanna-be’?!
ALEX: Thank goodness the older children were away and…
TITI: That same Miss ‘male-wanna-be’ you’re referring to is the very same ‘respectable’ woman you had ceaselessly compared me to since you met her.
You had made her our friend because you felt she would be a very ‘good influence’ on me, remember? And of course she wasn’t arrogant when she got our twelve year old accepted into the elite federal college with her ‘huge’ influence.
ALEX: Oh come of it.
TITI: No, you come of it!
ALEX: Please watch your tone. I’ll not have you talking to me with that tone!
TITI: I meant no disrespect, but we’re not a young couple anymore. Curb your pride and accept that we could do very well with the extras from this break.
ALEX: What extras?
TITI: I’m not going to work for free.
ALEX: No one said you would.
TITI: Well if you had thought so, you would be mistaken.
ALEX: Of course I expect you’ll be paid, but is money the issue?
TITI: Certainly not, I didn’t say it is.
ALEX: You make it sound as though we’re at the edge of our rope.
TITI: I didn’t!
ALEX: Of course you did!
TITI: I’m not saying you’re not doing your best, but times are hard. We must secure the future for our family.
ALEX: See? You did.
TITI: So yes, we can’t deny we could do with the extras.
ALEX: So it is all about the money and status then.
TITI: Extra money to meet up with our increasing challenges, yes! But certainly it has nothing to do with public status.
ALEX: Oh I wasn’t referring to public status, I meant here at home. You want to be a bread-winner too?
TITI: No, it is not that. You know me better than that.
ALEX: I’m not so sure anymore, because that is the only reason you have forwarded for your actions. You want to do better than I’m doing.
TITI: Wait! I see where you’re trying to steer this debate.
ALEX: I’m not steering it anywhere it hasn’t been.
TITI: Look, yes I was a shade too independent in my action and you have every right to be angry. But that doesn’t diminish the huge positive impact this will have on us and our family. A change you have consciously resisted for some time. I have no intention to degrade you or compete with you. I want to contribute, be the partner you say I’m; both at home and outside it.
ALEX: At home and outside it?
TITI: I…I mean emotionally and physically.
ALEX: No, you meant in the house and outside it.
TITI: I told you exactly what I meant.
ALEX: Yes, you certainly have.
TITI: Please do not misconstrue my laudable intentions?
ALEX: I’m sure I’m not. You’re abundantly clear enough now. Marriage is now a democracy and my tenure is over.
TITI: Was it a dictatorship?
ALEX: I di
dn’t say so.
TITI: But you just blatantly insinuated marriage is not about equality, like in a democracy.
ALEX: The head of the family is ordained to be the husband and he decides.
TITI: Agreed. So what is your own decision?
ALEX: I believe in dialogue and common sense, which you disregarded here. Hence you have no basis for claiming to be aggrieved here, I should be.
TITI: Please, don’t clog my wheels. I beg you.
ALEX: (Chuckles) My dear wife, you’ve made it hard for me to see your actions as reasonable. Instead your deception only brings to fore your suppressed hostility and makes me suspect that this is just the beginning; there is more to come.
TITI: I am hiding nothing. I’m only trying to be the wife and mother my husband and children deserve. The woman and mother I want to be.
ALEX: Well, good luck. I’ve heard you. Can I read my papers in peace now!?
b/g (Newspaper pages crackle, Titi hisses loudly and footsteps)
TITI: Rubbish.
b/g (Door creaks and slams shut loudly)
(OFF) Nonsense.
Scene Five
INT
b/g (Eating sounds, cutleries on dishes)
MONICA: Do you want some more?
DENISE: No.
MONICA: You could; I won’t be having any more.
DENISE: No, this will do.
MONICA: I thought you were hungry?
DENISE: So I should eat enough for three because I’m hungry?
MONICA: Fine, fine I’ll put away the rest.
b/g (Clatter of dishes)
DENISE: Can I have some cold water please.
MONICA: (Sighs) What about the coffee?
DENISE: You can see I’m still drinking it, aren’t I?
b/g (Furniture movement and footsteps)
MONICA: (OFF) You’re the only person I know that drinks a hot beverage and a cold one simultaneously.
DENISE: I’m not the only one I know.
b/g (Footsteps, water being poured into a glass cup)
MONICA: Ah, look at the time!
DENISE: We’re eating, for God sake.
MONICA: We must hurry up or we will be very late.
DENISE: You think the clergymen care how late we are? They wouldn’t bother as long as we are in time to hear their long sermons and dole out large offerings?
MONICA: Don’t blaspheme.
DENISE: See how they’ve got you thinking of them like they’re God?
MONICA: They administrate sacred matters for God’s people.
DENISE: Sure, as well as enhance their own well being while at it.
MONICA: Of course they do. It is a job too. It’s just that the appending status it symbolizes and sacred demands on it require such a blotless character that is almost in-human. We ask a lot of them, demanding perfection from their very human attributes.
b/g (Knock on the door)
TITI: (OFF) Hello.
DENISE: Yes!
MONICA: It’s Mama Dayo. (Louder) Come in Mama Dayo!
b/g (Door creaks open)
TITI: (Gasp) Sorry guys, I see you’re all dressed up already? I thought you might be staying home this morning.
DENISE: It is fine Mama Dayo; we’ve time for a quick tea and bread.
MONICA: (Chuckles) And quick being the operative word.
Please sit down and join us Mama Dayo.
b/g (Furniture movement)
TITI: No thanks my dear, I have had something already.
DENISE: Not even; (Mimics Tetuma) ‘This really good coffee!’
b/g (They all laugh curtly)
TITI: No not for me. (Giggles)
I’ll pass this time. I really had to see you guys again. Sorry to barge in like this.
MONICA: It is okay Mama Dayo, no apologies. Is Dayo still sleeping?
TITI: You know him, a little sobbing and tears is his anesthetic.
b/g (Denise & Monica laugh curtly)
DENISE: I couldn’t help noticing your older children weren’t home.
TITI: Yes, it’s their mid-term break from school so they had been at my parents’ place for the weekend. They will be back by sun down today.
DENISE: Perfect timing by coincidence, I wonder.
b/g (Titi & Monica laugh curtly)
TITI: You could say so.
MONICA: (Chuckles) Thank God for that bit of foresight.
DENISE: I must say Mama Dayo, you were rather inconsiderate.
TITI: Denise, my arms were tied.
DENISE: Though that is true, you did not give him the benefit of doubt.
TITI: We have been married for close to two decades Denise; believe me I would’ve been the worse for it. This scenario has been repeated over and over again. Each time he manages to outwit me and frustrate my dreams.
MONICA: But still you should’ve said something. At least prepare him for it by hinting it or something.
DENISE: Yes ma, the impact of it had Baba Dayo acting….well, almost irrational.
TITI: Denise, I know my man. This is the only way.
DENISE: So has he backed down?
TITI: We’ve