Chapter 24 The Witness Pinch
Rather than announcing a witness, Grace approached the bench and spoke to Dignity in a low tone.
“I have someone not on the list, Your Honor. I mean Miss Pinch.”
Dignity looked across at her. “So that’s who that is. How did you get her to testify?”
“If I wanted Power himself in here, he would have to come. But in this case it was promises, Your Honor. The Embassy guarantees her amnesty and political asylum.”
“She’s worth all that?”
Grace looked at him archly. “Worth in what sense, Your Honor? The value of her testimony isn’t worth it, if that’s what you mean; and she certainly doesn’t deserve it. Nevertheless, we consider her worth it.”
“Touché. She doesn’t deserve clemency, and neither did I last year, right? Proceed. This ought to be extremely interesting.”
The Ambassador helped Pinch to her seat in the witness box, and Truth swore her in. Grace gave the witness time to compose herself.
“Miss Pinch, your position and activities are by this time well known to this court. You support the legal arm of the City, and you were directly responsible for the recent, secret campaign to undermine Grace House. You hired Miss Obscurity to aid you in this. I take it that you don’t object to my wording?”
“No, I don’t,” Pinch said quietly.
“Do you believe that Obscurity was acting as a double agent and that her real sympathies were with the Heavenites?”
“Yes.”
“What makes you think that?”
“She wasn’t cooperating with me.” Pinch looked at Obscurity with accusing eyes. “She ruined everything I was trying to do. She didn’t back up Bits, she didn’t report to me. Instead, she frustrated me until I made an error, I mean coming here. That totaled the operation and cost me my job.”
“Which may yet work out for the best. You mentioned Bits Bitterly. Did you hire him to work for you?”
“He was assigned by Lawyer Temptation to work under me. Bits has been used by us before. He’s one of our regulars.”
The spectators now reacted audibly, and Reason turned to Bits open mouthed.
“Mr. Bitterly was to spy in this house and to prepare it for City rule?”
“Yes, of course. That’s what we wanted.”
“To weaken Mr. Dignity’s and Mrs. Reason’s allegiance to the Heavenly King? To raise doubts about the King’s goodness and authority?”
Pinch waved a thin hand impatiently. “All that. Whatever. I don’t care how he does it. He failed anyway.” She took a few shallow breaths. “Even his germs.”
“Excuse me, his germs, Miss Pinch?”
“Yes, what of it?”
“You mean that Bitterly is a sick man, contagious?”
“Yes, for many years.”
“But he hasn’t been bedridden lately. He’s at a later stage, then, of a disease that initially does knock people off their feet. Is that so?”
“So I understand it, yes.”
“This disease is squamatitis?”
“Yes, I guess he called it that once.”
Grace fetched a heavy book from a chair and opened to a bookmarked page. “Your Honor, I have here a copy of the Dictionary of Mephistophelian Diseases. May I read under the heading squamatitis? Thank you. ‘Squamatitis, also known as lizard’s disease. Affliction of the body, soul, and mind, originating from the Hadean regions. Contagious, particularly to native Heavenites. Sufferers pass through an initial fever and flu-like symptoms of two to three weeks duration and then usually recover permanently, but if not, they enter a second, latent stage. The latent stage, sometimes lasting many years, is marked by nervous and mental disorders, particularly depression, suicidal thoughts, and brief periods of unnatural euphoria. The latter part of latency will include unusual dietary cravings and increasing disorientation and erratic behavior, which in rare cases may lead to a third stage marked by brief but complete physical transformation.’” Grace closed the book. “The third stage isn’t pertinent to the present point of the inquiry. If I may return to the witness?”
“Excuse me, Ambassador,” said Reason. “May I see the book?”
Grace nodded and she rose and took the dictionary. Sitting down again at some careful distance from Bits, she eagerly turned to the marked page.
Through all this, Bits had seemed less than alert. Now he struggled to his feet.
“Objection, Your Honor. This delving into the details of my poor health is just an attempt by the defense to sidetrack the court. I’m not on trial here.”
“No,” said Dignity, “but if the defense can demonstrate that you were the cause of the flu that struck Grace House, that would knock down one of the charges against Obscurity. I can’t help but remember that both of you began coming here shortly before the flu broke out. The children went down first, Bits, and you were spending a lot of time with them, getting as close to them as they’d let you.”
“And so was she! Anyway, is that the way a judge talks? You’re completely irregular if you introduce your own testimony. What kind of court is this?”
Dignity smiled. “Are you afraid I’m going to influence the judge? Sit down, Bits. Objection overruled.”
Bits sank into his chair and began to scratch his left arm vigorously.
“Go ahead, Counselor,” Dignity said to Grace.
The Ambassador turned again to Pinch. “Thank you, Miss Pinch. I’m sure that Mrs. Orchard will take you to a guest room now where you can get some rest. That is, unless there’s any cross examination?”
Reason sat with the medical dictionary in her lap and the little girl Peace close beside her. She looked up from the text. “Nothing, Counselor.”
“Uh, Reason?” Dignity said from the bench. “Don’t you think you’d better start cross examining the witnesses? The prosecution seems to have nearly dropped out of this trial.”
“Sorry, Your Honor.” She shrugged.
“And will you take that silly ‘O’ off? Try to at least preserve some pretense of impartiality.”
“Yes, Your Honor.” She removed it.
Dignity looked to Grace.
“Just one more witness,” said the old man. “The defense calls Mr. Bits Bitterly to the stand.”
“This is too rich!” said Bits, instantly on his feet again. “Reason, object! Why are you just sitting there?”
Without looking up from the book, Reason waved a dismissing hand at him. “Just go answer his questions, Bits. I’ll cross examine you.”
With a weaving swagger, Bits entered the witness box and was sworn in.