“You’re covered in blood—are you hurt?”
She wasn’t hurt.
She was destroyed.
“I’m fine,” Alex lied softly, her throat raw from crying. “What’s going on in here?”
It was clear Jeera didn’t believe her, perhaps because she could hear the pain in Alex’s voice, or perhaps because her intuition was able to work around Alex’s free will. Either way, the young Warden was clued in enough to read that Alex didn’t want to talk about it—couldn’t talk about it—and she put a gentle, guiding hand on her shoulder.
“It wasn’t just Graevale that Aven attacked today,” Jeera said quietly as she led Alex towards the table. “He also launched consecutive strikes on Maroo and Nialas.”
Again, Alex couldn’t feel the shock of such news past the numbness consuming her very being.
“Take a seat and we’ll fill you in,” Jeera said, pulling out an empty chair beside her.
Alex did so and glanced around the table, meeting the openly concerned eyes of the king and queen, as well as the less obvious but still clearly worried gazes of Drock, Tyson and Nisha. She could only offer them a slow blink before focusing on the other races, all of whom, with the exception of Kaysia, were avoiding looking at her, almost as if they expected her to jump up and scream, “I told you so!”
But Alex was beyond caring that they hadn’t listened to her warnings. What was done, was done. There was no going back, no changing events that had already unfolded… no saving of lost lives. All they could do now was live with the consequences of their actions and try to move forward.
Clearing her scratchy throat, Alex asked, “If Aven attacked you all at once, how are you here now?” She kept her eyes on the elders and Kaysia and said, “Last I saw, Aven wasn’t about to retreat, not at least from Graevale.”
It was Drock who answered, his gruff voice almost comforting to her ears. “We all saw what happened with you, kid. We saw Aven swing his kill stroke. His Meyarins closed ranks before we could watch him make contact, but the roar he let loose was so loud we were sure it must have been in triumph.” His voice lowered. “It’s good to see we were wrong.”
“Everything happened quickly after that,” Tyson jumped in. “It was like Aven and his army decided to up and leave on a whim. One minute they were there, fighting—and winning— and the next they were gone.” He paused. “We presumed it was because you were dead and Aven wanted to go and bask in his victory.”
Alex more than anyone could understand their presumption, just as she knew they were now seeking an explanation.
She ran her hands along the sleek coat of Soraya who was resting on her haunches by Alex’s side, the protective position making her as tall as those seated around the table. “Soraya shadowed me away just before Aven…” She trailed off, not needing to finish, not able to finish, since it wasn’t just her who Soraya had delivered to safety.
But Alex wouldn’t think about that. Alex couldn’t think about that. And she let the numbness dig like nails deeper into her core.
“As far as we can tell,” Nisha said, picking up the story after realising Alex wasn’t going to share more, “the moment Aven and his forces left Graevale was the same moment his attacks on Maroo and Nialas ceased as well.”
“They is come. They is kill. They is go,” Tibbs said, shaking his bald head. “Bad, they is. Bad, bad, bad. Many Jarnocks die today.”
“We each had to see to our people before anything else,” Tork said quietly, the horror of whatever the Flip had witnessed both during and after the attack still fresh in his eyes. “It took many hours before we could come together here, yet none of us should be away from our cities for long. We are needed there now more than ever. But before we part ways, we must agree on a course of action.”
“Read us note,” Mareek said to King Aurileous.
Queen Osmada placed a comforting hand on her husband’s forearm as he opened a scrolled piece of Silverwood parchment and read the words aloud. Alex struggled to process what she was hearing, and it wasn’t until Aurileous passed the scroll to her that she fully realised what she was now holding.
It was a letter.
And it was from Aven.
To the mortals of Medora —
Today has offered a taste of what lies in store for your future. I showed leniency, ending the battles so swiftly, but this war has only just begun.
From here on out, I will show no mercy.
And when I am done, none shall survive my wrath.
If you seek to lay blame for your coming destruction, look no further than to she whom you consider your only hope.
But know this: Alexandra Jennings cannot save you.
No one can.
A new day is coming, swift on the wings of dawn.
—King Aven Dalmarta
Alex read the note three times before she was able to look up, finding all eyes on her again. She waited for the questions, waited for the interrogation, waited for the time when she would only offer silence in response, so far past being willing to explain. But that time didn’t come. Because Jeera spoke up before anyone else could.
“None of this comes as a surprise,” the Warden said. “Alex already warned us that Aven has a personal vendetta against all mortals, and he obviously has a deep-rooted hatred for her in particular. Of course he’s going to lay the blame on her.”
Nisha nodded and continued on from her niece, “Aven’s actions today were to incite terror amongst us, and his letter is a means to create dissent when what we need is to stand strong against this threat—and to stand together.”
“You’ve all seen the destruction he is capable of first-hand,” King Aurileous said. “It is my belief—” He broke off, then indicated to the other humans in the room. “It is our belief that the only way we will have a chance at overcoming him is if we unite as one. An alliance of the races.”
With that, Alex couldn’t take any more. Despite her earlier acceptance that there was no taking back what had already happened, she so wished they would have listened to her. Then they would have been having this conversation long before Aven’s attack. And maybe—maybe Niyx—
Alex pushed away her line of thought and shoved back her chair, causing all eyes to swing her way again.
“I’m sorry,” she said, her voice a dull monotone, the only thing she could manage. “I asked Soraya to take me where I needed to be, but I think I’ve heard enough for now, and I can’t imagine that you need me here while you hash out the details of whatever alliance you agree to.” She swallowed against her tear-dry throat. “I’d appreciate if someone could fill me in on your plans after they’re finalised, but for now, I need to—I need to—” Alex didn’t know how to finish, because what she truly needed wasn’t possible. “I need to return to the academy and check on my friends.”
She didn’t care if she had their permission to leave, since she’d never had their permission to arrive, but she still received nods of agreement from the king and queen, as well as Nisha. Jeera reached out to squeeze her arm, but Alex felt too cold—too numb—to feel it.
“Take it easy, kid,” Drock told her. “And rest up. You look like—”
She would never know what he was about to say, since Azalia interrupted in a whisper-soft voice, the only Shadow Walker to speak since Alex had arrived.
All she offered were six words, but they spoke volumes.
“For what it’s worth, we’re sorry.”
Clenching her jaw against snapping back in the face of the apology, Alex merely nodded her head and reached out for Soraya.
She didn’t have to give the wolf a command before they disappeared in a blur of lightning and shadows, heading back to the academy.
Thirty-Four
Darrius was waiting in the Med Ward.
Soraya delivered Alex straight there from Tryllin, the wolf somehow knowing that she was unable to stomach the sight of laendra right now, let alone use it to heal her injuries. Not when it had failed her… not when it
had failed Niyx.
While Fletcher was busy working to bring life back to Alex’s frostbitten, grave-bloodied hands and healing the rest of the wounds she’d received during the battle, the headmaster quietly told her that Jordan and D.C. had gone back to Woodhaven to be with Bear and his family. Darrius also suggested Alex join them as soon as she could, excusing all four of them from classes for as long as they needed.
But Alex couldn’t go to Woodhaven.
Numb. That’s how she felt.
She couldn’t offer Bear comfort, not when all she felt was despair.
It wouldn’t be fair of her to bring her own suffering to his family, not when the Ronnigans needed strength right now.
It also wouldn’t be fair to expect the consolation her friends might offer her, not when Bear needed them, not when they would never be able to comprehend the depth of her own loss.
None of them had known Niyx in life. And because of that, none of them would understand him in death.
So after offering Darrius an emotionless briefing on what had transpired in Graevale, followed by what she’d heard at the oval table in Tryllin, Alex left the Med Ward, ignoring the concerned eyes of her doctor and headmaster. She assured them she was fine, that she was going back to her dormitory to pack before leaving to be with her friends.
She didn’t lie about going to her dorm. But after showering the memory of the battle from her skin until she was scrubbed raw, she didn’t go to Woodhaven.
She went to the Library.
Sitting curled up on the hard stone floor of the cavern with her arms wrapped tightly around her legs and Soraya’s comforting presence by her side, Alex looked across the river to the other side of the rocky space, reminiscing about the first time she’d seen the doorway back to her world. If she’d only stepped through it then, none of this would be happening.
Aven never would have returned to Meya.
Alex never would have travelled to the past.
And everything else that resulted never would have occurred.
Niyx. Lady Mystique. William. Even Skyla. Their deaths were on Alex’s hands.
Staring out into the empty cave, for the first time since arriving in Medora, all Alex wanted to do was leave. Return to Freya with her parents and forget everything she had done. Everything she had caused. Everything she would face if she stayed.
But she knew she couldn’t leave. Because while she had lost much, there was still more to lose.
Niyx was gone. But many remained. And Alex couldn’t abandon them. Even in death, Niyx would never forgive her for that.
So she sat there, staring across the river, numb to the hard ground beneath her, numb to the cool air, numb to her feelings. She just sat and tried to find the strength she needed for whatever was coming next.
“I thought I might find you here.”
Alex didn’t move her cheek from her knee, nor did she turn her unfocused eyes from the other side of the cavern as Kaiden dropped to the ground beside her.
“How did you get here?” she asked, her voice barely a whisper of raw sound as he reached across her body to give a quick pat to Soraya when she offered a soft woof of greeting.
“The Library was in a cooperative mood,” Kaiden said. His voice lowered. “I heard about what happened at Graevale. I’m sorry about Bear’s dad. And I’m sorry about Aes Daega.” His tone became a whisper as he finished, “But I’m more sorry about Niyx.”
At the mention of William, tears welled in Alex’s eyes. But when Kaiden spoke of Lady Mystique and Niyx, two people he shouldn’t know about, Alex felt like she was suffocating for air.
“Jeera told me,” Kaiden continued quietly. “She didn’t know who they were, but she was in the square at Graevale and close enough to witness your reactions to… what happened. When she offered descriptions, I knew who she meant.” He laid a comforting hand on her shoulder. “I’m so sorry, Alex.”
She turned watery eyes to him then, and in a voice that sounded fragile to her own ears, she said, “H-how do you know who they are?” She winced against the slash of pain and corrected, “Who they w-were?”
“Aes Daega I’ve met a few times through Athora. But that’s his story to share, not mine. And as for Niyx…” Kaiden trailed off and pulled something from his jacket, a piece of scrolled parchment from a Silverwood tree, handing it over.
Soraya shifted slightly as Alex slowly uncurled from her position. With a shaking hand, she took Kaiden’s offering, feeling apprehension trickle through her numbness.
“He approached me right after I returned to the academy from having those medical tests,” Kaiden said quietly. “He told me who he was to you. Your friend. Your spy. Your protector.”
Alex exhaled a shuddering breath, having been unaware that they’d ever met.
“You know that vision you had when you were in the past? The one I dreamed glimpses of?” Kaiden asked. “Niyx said he saw the whole thing, and apparently that included me being in it with you, guiding you through it all.”
Alex didn’t have it in her to feel embarrassed by Kaiden knowing the truth. They were beyond that now.
“He heard you say my name and saw that you felt safe with me,” Kaiden continued. “That was good enough for him to decide to track me down.”
Sudden realisation hit Alex from the night Niyx had said he was rooting for Kaiden when she’d never shared Kaiden’s name. He’d known about him all along—for thousands of years.
“He gave me that scroll to give to you in case anything ever happened to him.”
Another ragged breath, painful to her lungs, and her fingers tightened on the parchment.
Quietly, oh so quietly, Kaiden said, “I’ll give you a few minutes.”
And then his hand was gone from her shoulder and he was up and moving, the Library continuing to be cooperative by providing a doorway for him, leaving Alex alone with her wolf.
She didn’t want to read what was in her hand. If she read it, it might make it more real. But she also knew that if Niyx had gone to the effort of remembering Kaiden from a vision she’d had thousands of years ago and hunted him down to play messenger in the present, then she needed to at least see what was so important that he’d decided to write it down.
With shaking hands, she unrolled the delicate silvery paper.
Kitten,
One word was all Alex could manage before she had to shut her eyes, the letters burning behind her lids as she heard his voice in her mind. Kitten. Kitten. Kitten.
She choked back a sob and blocked out Soraya’s concerned whine at the realisation that she would never again hear him call her that. That she would never again hear him call her anything.
Fighting back the tears that wanted to pour forth yet again, Alex traced her fingers over the letters of his handwriting, something she had never seen before. By the time she’d followed the ‘K’ to the ‘i’ and all the way to the ‘n’ three times over, she was calm enough to try again.
Kitten,
If you’re reading this, then it’s probably because you’ve done something stupid and I’ve had to step in to save your ass. If that’s the case and I gave my life to save yours, then I need you to know I have no regrets, and I don’t want you to, either.
Protecting you has been a full-time job, one that I undertook willingly. I always knew I would die for you-
Alex had to stop again, hearing the memory of him whisper those words to her atop the mountain. She was only able to continue reading when the stabbing of her heart numbed enough that she could breathe again.
-and I can’t imagine a better way to go, or a more worthy reason to sacrifice my life.
However… I also know you’ll beat yourself up over it forever, and that is something I won’t allow you to do.
You have an extraordinary capacity to love, and you love hard, kitten. It’s what draws so many people to you, and it’s a beautiful gift that lights up the worlds of those fortunate enough to know you. Myself included.
But it al
so means you have an extraordinary capacity to feel the pain that comes with loss. So if you only take one thing away from this letter, let it be this: If I could do it all over again, from the moment you Claimed me, to however I meet my end, I would. A thousand times and more until eternity. Because knowing you has given me a reason to live… and a reason worthy of death.
Don’t blame yourself, kitten. I knew what I was getting into.
And now that it’s done, you need to get up and you need to keep fighting. But you also need to know that even though I’m gone, you are not alone.
Trust your friends. Trust Kyia and Zain. Trust Athora.
And trust Kaiden - he seems a good sort, and he has an impressive right hook. Trust him to look after you now that I can’t.
You saved my life when you Claimed me, kitten. And you’ve saved it every day since. It’s taken thousands of years, but thank you for finally giving me the chance to return the favour.
Eternally yours,
- Niyx.
Ps. Now stop crying and go kick some immortal ass.
A startled sob of laughter broke free from Alex amongst the tears pouring down her face at his final remark. It was so like Niyx to write such a caring letter that would tear her apart and then end it in a way to lighten her world.
It was also so like him to know exactly what she needed to hear, when she needed to hear it.
The pain of his passing was like a raw, horrible ache in her heart, but he was right. She couldn’t become paralysed by her loss. She had to keep fighting, just as she had promised him at his graveside. So with every tear she cried, each one soaking the parchment as she read it over and over, she began to let him go, little by little.
By the time Kaiden returned and sat beside her, pulling her into his arms while she cried loud, gut-wrenching tears into his chest, her numbness started fading as heat returned to her body and a steely determination took hold of her bones.
They sat like that for what felt like hours, Kaiden cradling her close. But the time came when she was eventually able to pull back and wipe her now dry eyes, carefully, so very carefully folding Niyx’s letter and pocketing it in her coat.