Does it move quick
Or
Stand still
I can’t wait to see you
I take the long way home
When I get there
it’s only a house
* * *
ELEVEN
Too much to look at
Much too much to see
Noise excitement color
People
machines
Looking for someone
Anyone
There's one
And another
There goes one
Watch where you're going
Smiles are huge
Time stands still
Joy
Laughter
Stimulation of every sense
* * *
TWELVE
Walking down the hallway
Long long hallway
Looking like a million
But
Only from a distance
He use to be someone
But wait
He probably still is
He looks like a TV star
Just ask and
He'll tell you so
He turns his head to hide
A shamefully arrogant move
He isn’t a star in my sky
I feel bad that he’s fallen so far
As he passes by
And hides his face with his hand
I can’t help but hate the man
So I think I should tell him so.
Hey TV guy that no one knows
I might be he only one
I know who you were and are
But
I don’t care
* * *
THIRTEEN
Good day
Bad day
Good hour
Bad hour
Good minute
Bad minute
Now
It makes sense
Never before did The light and dark fully merge
But inside my head
There is gray and dusk
And shadows where truth cannot be trusted
Where life is fragile
And fought for
Fought for yes
Desired
Not really
Help me
Help me
I want to live
Help me to see
I am blind to reason
* * *
FOURTEEN
Clarity of vision
and thought
Many converging
but all crisp
Too many things to do
But
plenty of time to do them
NEVER felt better
They will try to take it away
Why
I am now who
everyone wants me to be.
Energy in motion
And thought
Not racing
Controlled chaos
I can feel the chaos
deep
deep down inside
It wants to be fed
Living on my terms
Conceited
Arrogant
Selfish
Necessary
I love life
Other peoples
Not my own
talent is not wasted
Where
There was none to start
Endings are
New beginnings
New chapters
Resurrection of spirit
For
The ones left behind
* * *
FIFTEEN
I'm here.
No reason
But I am
I guess it's good
We’ll see how it goes
Anger
Rage
Energy
Sleepy
Why?
Seemed like a good idea
Not so sure anymore
Judgments
Observations
Thoughts
Feelings
So what
Change
For the better
Or
None at all
It doesn't matter
I am what
Who
I am
Never good enough
Never
Never
Never
What a waste of time
* * *
SIXTEEN
Don't touch me
My body
Or
My mind
Your touch is not welcome
I didn't ask
I gave no hint
Why
Do you take such liberty
Do you care what
I think
Do you presume to know
Does it matter To you
Or
To me
Not really
I care
Less
And
Less
All the time
* * *
SEVENTEEN
Living in a birdcage
Transparent but confining
Speaking the same language
But
Nobody understands
Living is not living
if only just alive
People to talk about
but no one to talk too
Alone but not lonely
upon the crowded stage
Scrambled mess this prose
It's the refrain in my mind
Nothing makes sense
until
I make it so.
Micro this
Macro that
Quantum way down
It's full sized and on top where I struggle
Weird
Crazy
Eccentric
Individual
Adjectives of confinement
In
A mind without a control
* * *
EIGHTEEN
Pushing through the fear I feel the power. The power of breath and light, Trains and trucks. Thunder and lightning.
The thunder slap of violence, the lightening strike of love equally able to bring you to your knees.
I'm at the bottom
I'm at the top
With bipolar
They are both the same
No rest for the wicked
I want
I want
I want
Felling really good
No rest for the wicked
I want
I want
I want
Never felt worse
Change
But
Change what?
Chemicals
Location
Celestial being
Wait five minutes
It will change itself
It is not me
It is it
It is the thing
I hate it
I never want to lose it
Help me
Help me
* * *
NINETEEN
Where
Did it come from
Where
Will it go
When
Will it leave me
When
Will it come back
It feels good
When it hits
When it leaves
When it rises
When it falls
I miss
The ups
The way ups
The downs
The way downs
The desire for both
* * *
TWENTY
Does it hurt
That nail in your skin
Pushed in deep
Not to the death
Circle around
And round
Holding the weight
The pressure
Without
feeling
So
We think
The breath
Comes in
Out is poison
Death
How
Can I hold It
In
Stabbed
In the body
The soul
Pain is painless
Life may slip away
Resurrection
Is real
Only moments away
Flat tires are no big deal.
* * *
TWENTY ONE
Too much to look at
Much too much to see
Noise excitement color
People
machines
Looking for someone
Anyone
There's one
And another
There goes one
Watch where you're going
Smiles are huge
Time stands still
Joy
Laughter
Stimulation of every sense
* * *
TWENTY TWO
The white beach
lines the black rivers
Of a crowded downtown
Fancy ladies
Looking
for dates
Men
with muscles
make sure they’re safe
and
paid
* * *
TWENTY THREE
Too much to look at
Much too much to see
Noise excitement color
People
machines
Looking for someone
Anyone
There's one
And another
There goes one
Watch where you're going
Smiles are huge
Time stands still
Joy
Laughter
Stimulation of every sense
# # #
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