"Ready?" he asked.
No, no, no. "Yes."
I walked through the next hour as if I were just outside my own body. I tried not to consider the reality of the situation. I pictured the faces of the people at the drop-in center, the small house I'd get settled in once I left Hawthorn Vineyard, anything to keep my focus on what this day was ultimately about. We obtained the marriage license and waited in line to say our vows. Grayson's expression was distant, slightly cold—The Dragon was gone and The Ice Prince was back. I didn't ask what he was thinking, though. My own emotions were difficult enough to manage, so I really didn't need to add his to the mix. He'd be no support to me—he wasn't even trying to make this easier. Although, really, what did I expect him to do? The lightness of the moment when we had been running in the rain was long gone, replaced now by silence and discomfort. Finally, a court employee stood in as our witness, and I recited my vows and promised to love, honor, and cherish Grayson Hawthorn all the days of my life. I felt a snake of fear slither down my spine as I committed the sacrilege of pledging love and devotion to a man I had no intention of loving or devoting myself to. It was a lie, a farce of something sacred. I'd never been a particularly religious person, but I had to wonder if we'd both be punished somehow for this mockery.
He recited his vows to me, his voice steady, his manner removed. I watched him, my chest aching at the serious expression on his handsome face. When the marriage commissioner asked if we had rings to exchange, Grayson reached into his pocket and brought out a beautiful gold ring with an opal in the center surrounded by diamonds. I gasped as he slid it on my finger. I tried to catch his eye, but he looked at it for several seconds on my hand and then raised his eyes to the man performing our ceremony. I stared down at the beautiful antique-looking piece of jewelry, a lump forming in my throat for his thoughtfulness at remembering to bring a ring. I hadn't even thought of it myself.
"You may kiss your bride."
Grayson leaned forward and gave me a quick peck on my mouth. At the feel of his dry lips brushing across mine, the hysteria I'd kept at bay since I'd woken that morning suddenly bubbled up my chest, and I snorted out a barely contained laugh. I pretended a small cough, my eyes widening at my body's betrayal. His kiss reminded me of one my old, crotchety Uncle Colburn would give. Uncle Colburn smelled like mothballs. Hilarity and insanity warred inside for control. I let out another small snort and tried to cover it with another cough.
Grayson's eyebrows shot up and then his eyes narrowed, growing almost lazy as he stared me down, something tense and challenging in his expression as if he thought I had laughed solely to mock him. I swallowed, very suddenly serious. What had come over me? The stress of this had clearly cracked my brain right in half. Of course he should kiss me like a dried-up old uncle. This was a business deal.
Grayson stepped right into my space and took my face in his hands as I chirped out what sounded like a surprised little cheep. He pressed his lips to mine, sweeping his tongue over the seam of my mouth. I had no time to think and my body responded to him instinctually, as I parted my lips eagerly to take his tongue, melting against him. The kiss showed no mercy, his tongue plundering my mouth and making my knees weak as I clung to his shoulders. Just as suddenly as he'd initiated it, he pulled away, our mouths coming apart with a wet pop as I stumbled forward, catching myself before I fell into him.
The marriage commissioner grinned. "Well now!"
Well now, indeed.
I tried to regain my composure, using my thumb to wipe the saliva from below my bottom lip, as the final words were said. "By the authority vested in me, I now pronounce you husband and wife."
And it was done. We were officially Mr. and Mrs. Grayson Hawthorn. Forever and ever. Amen.
Or at least for the next year or so. Which probably didn't deserve an amen.
I walked with Grayson back to his truck on legs that felt strangely numb, still reeling slightly from his kiss, feeling a measure of humiliation. Still, he had done something thoughtful. "Thank you for remembering a ring," I said softly. "I didn't even think to get one for you. Where did you get this on such short notice?"
"It was still in the house. I just hadn't gotten around to selling it." I looked down at it, figuring he had the tight look on his face because it had been a piece of his stepmother's jewelry. Well, it would serve to make our union look legitimate to the outside world, so what did I care where it'd come from? "I'll give it back when, um—"
"Okay," was his terse reply.
"Okay," I said, deciding not to mention the kiss at all, or the fact that I'd laughed at his first one. Now that my mind was clearer, I realized he'd likely done it for no other reason than to make our ceremony look convincing. After a moment of silence, I asked, "So, do you want to, um, go to a late lunch or something?" I had no idea of the protocol for this day.
It was my wedding day. Oh, God . . .
Only, not really. I wouldn't consider this my wedding day. Someday I'd have a real one and it would be the polar opposite of this. "Can't. I have to get back to work," Grayson said, not looking at me.
All right, then. "Dinner tonight maybe? We should at least celebrate the windfall we're about to get." I gave him a small smile that felt more hopeful than intended.
"Kira . . ." He sighed, running one hand through his hair as if my conversation and then asking him to go to dinner was a grave annoyance. Did he think this meant I suddenly expected a relationship with him now that I was his wife, had received an obligatory kiss, and wore a bauble he'd found lying around some dusty corner of his house? Anger, and a hurt I didn't want to admit to, burned within me.
"Never mind," I said. "I just remembered I have plans anyway."
He looked at me as if he knew very well I was lying. "Maybe another time, okay? I'm having an issue with a piece of equipment. Taking these few hours today has already put me behind."
I had just thrown the sanctity of marriage off a cliff, and he could barely manage to be cordial? I didn't expect his thanks, but I also didn't expect to feel like I was an inconvenience to his day. I swallowed back my disappointment because it was obviously wasted on the arrogant dragon. "Of course. I understand," I lied.
When we pulled up to his home, I hopped out, calling, "I should have the check within a week or so. I'll drop by with your share." I wouldn't look back. I looked back. Grayson was standing at the side of his truck with his hands in his pockets watching me walk away. As I began walking through the brush to my cottage, I raised my chin and flipped my hair. And then felt a sharp branch as it jabbed my thigh, tearing a large rip in my dress. I jumped slightly and let out a small yelp. Damn. I raised my chin higher and kept walking. I heard his low chuckle from far behind me and resisted the urge to turn around, run back, and claw his reptilian eyes out. Instead, I slammed the door to my cottage when I got inside, but the old door didn't fit exactly right on the hinges and gave a very unsatisfying click as it weakly met the doorframe.
This was the most pitiful wedding day that had ever existed. What did you expect? You did this.
I removed the opal ring, which was really nothing more than a prop, and set it on the windowsill. I also removed the pin Charlotte had given me so I wouldn't forget to return it. Then I sat down on my bed, toying absently with the torn piece of material on my dress, finally giving in to the tears I'd felt burning behind my eyes all morning.
**********
Exhausted and emotionally drained after the events of the day, and because I hadn't slept well the previous night as I’d tossed and turned and re-evaluated my decision, I took a long nap. My dreams were filled first with a vast landscape of ice. I wandered aimlessly, crying out with the cold, shivering violently as I tried in vain to warm myself. Suddenly, I was in the midst of cascading fire, caught in a waterfall of lava, my body liquid, my skin raging with a heat that felt deliciously erotic. Flames consumed me, and yet somehow, I wasn't being burned. I woke up moaning, my breasts tingling, wet and throbbing between my legs. I colla
psed back on my pillows. I'd never had a sexual dream quite that intense before. I guessed it went to show how long it'd been. My hands went to my aching breasts as I heard a car door slam outside. I sat up quickly, running to the window. Not my father—there was no way for him to have found out about my marriage. Right? Or did he have minions in every court system in the country? I would hardly doubt it if he did. No, no, I reassured myself. Despite his intrusion in my life, he had bigger fish to fry than me. Still, adrenaline flooded my system and my heart leapt with panic, cooling my heated blood at least a few degrees. I smoothed my hands over my torn and wrinkled dress, taking a deep, calming breath. He couldn't do anything to me anyway. I'd tell him I was married—that was that and to leave me alone.
I walked the few strides through the brush and when I came out on the driveway, I saw a blonde woman talking to Grayson in front of a small red sports car. They both turned, obviously having heard me, and so I didn't turn back as I had first intended upon spotting them. Instead, I walked to where they stood. As she watched me approach, the woman had a look on her face as if she'd just tasted something sour, and Grayson's eyes were narrowed.
I held out my hand when I got to them. "Hi, I'm Kira," I said.
The woman looked down at my hand as if I was offering her a dead fish, but finally grasped the tips of my fingers and shook it weakly. Okay.
"I'm Jade. I stopped by to see if I could cook dinner for Grayson tonight." She looked sweetly at him, batting her false eyelashes. A heavy aroma of artificial peaches hung on her, but I couldn't deny she was pretty. If you liked that type. Which Grayson obviously did. I glanced at him and found him looking me over with an expression that seemed intense and . . . angry? His mood swings would eventually give me whiplash.
I shifted on my feet, realizing how terrible I must look. I could feel that my face was still flushed from my dream, and knew my hair must be in wild disarray as it always was after I'd slept. My dress was ripped and wrinkled and disheveled and . . . I was the exact opposite of this coiffed beauty standing in front of me. I ran my tongue along my bottom lip nervously, feeling insecure and hating it.
I waited for him to tell this woman I was his wife.
Grayson looked away from me, to Jade. "Sure, that sounds good."
I felt my eyes widen and I let out a tiny gasp. He was going to take Jade up on her offer to cook him dinner after he’d turned me down for dinner on our wedding day? What if someone saw them? What if Jade had a big mouth and spread the word that she was dating Grayson? My heart pounded and my skin felt suddenly itchy.
My husband was going on a date on our wedding day. My husband was going on a date on our wedding day. I had the sudden, intense desire to double over with laughter.
Only you, Kira. Only you would be in a situation like this.
"Just give me two minutes to clean up," Grayson said to Jade.
"Sure thing, babe." She smiled sweetly at him. Babe. This woman had just called my fake husband babe. "You can shower at my place if you want." Her lips turned up in the farce of a smile, but her eyes shot daggers at me.
Grayson walked into the house, and Jade and I stood staring at each other. "So who are you exactly, Kira?" Jade asked snottily.
Why, I'm his wife, sweetie. I hope you have a lovely evening on your date. It took everything in me not to say that. I had agreed we should carry on as usual as long as we were discreet, although I hardly thought this qualified. Still, it was up to Grayson to handle this situation with Jade. I hadn't actually done any secretarial or accounting work for Grayson yet, but I suddenly remembered I had offered to. "I'm, um, his new secretary, slash accountant, slash . . . well." I'd let that well sum up the other stuff. Little did she know, it was a mighty big well.
She narrowed her eyes at me. "And you . . . live here?"
We both looked up to see Grayson trotting back down the stairs. He barely had enough time to wash his hands and splash some cold water on his face. Apparently he either didn't care that Jade would get him un-showered or he planned on taking her up on her offer. A flash of her in the kitchen cooking him dinner as he came up behind her in a small towel to kiss the back of her neck suddenly came to mind. And why, oh why did that vision bother me so much?
Idiot, Kira!
"Ready?" Grayson asked, looking at Jade.
"Hmm hmm," she said. "Kira here was just telling me she's your new secretary, slash accountant, slash . . ." We both stared at her, waiting for her to continue, and she stared at us evidently waiting for one of us to say something as well.
Grayson cleared his throat. I coughed. Jade narrowed her eyes further and stepped closer to Grayson, clearly staking her claim.
"And you live here now?" she asked again, narrowing her eyes further.
"I'm staying in the cottage over there." I waved my hand in the direction of my small cottage. As if it was completely normal for secretaries to live in grimy gardener cottages on site.
Jade wrinkled up her cute little nose. "Eww! That little place buried in the woods that you can barely see from the driveway? There must be rats in there."
I crossed my arms, regarding her before widening my eyes and speaking slowly, with feigned excitement. "Oh yes! There are. A husband and wife, in fact," I said, shooting a look at Grayson. He looked back at me blankly. I turned my gaze back to Jade and carried on. "Ogilthorpe and Ortensia. I'm pretty sure Ortensia is pregnant, too." I put one finger on my chin in thought. "I'll have to come up with some O names, before the little rat babies arrive, of course. If you have any good suggestions, let me know." I gave her a fake grin, resisting the urge to cross my eyes.
Her features screwed up in an expression of disgust and Grayson turned slightly and coughed into his hand, but I swore I saw his lip twitch slightly before he covered his mouth.
"Let's go," Jade said to Grayson, ignoring me.
"I trust you'll find a way to entertain yourself tonight?" Grayson asked, raising his eyebrows.
"I'm sure I will," I said, giving him a small, phony smile.
His eyes lingered on my face for the space of several heartbeats and then he turned away with Jade. When they reached her car, she turned to him and said loudly enough for me to hear, "I don't like her. She's weird."
If Grayson commented, he said it softly enough that I couldn't hear.
I watched as the car turned, drove down the driveway, and disappeared out of sight.
It was only a matter of time before my father knew this marriage was a total ruse. Not even one day had gone by and Grayson was going to ruin everything. I made a concerted effort to control my rapid breathing.
If there were ever a day that had called for wine, and lots of it, this one did. And how lucky for me, I lived at a winery!
CHAPTER NINE
Grayson
"Thanks," I said, getting out of Jade's car. She gave me a tight smile, and waved, no doubt disappointed about where the night had gone, or not gone as the case was. I didn't generally go back for seconds, but I had had every intention of working off some steam in Jade's bed. However, once I'd arrived at her apartment and she'd pushed me down on her couch and started pawing at me, all I could think about was the fact that it was my wedding day. Which was so fucking annoying, because it wasn't like my wedding day meant anything at all. But in the end, it just seemed in bad taste to fuck one woman on the day I'd given my name—temporarily or not—to another. I wouldn't call it honor, because clearly I had precious little of that, but it just felt . . . distasteful, wrong. Wrong enough to cool any lustful thoughts I might have had about Jade's athletic little body. My thoughts turned back to Kira for the hundredth time that night. Kira, and those stupid O-named rats. It was weird, so why had it made me want to kiss her again? Kiss her right. Kiss her long and hard as I wrapped that fiery hair around my fist? Something had clearly come between me and my good sense.
I watched Jade's car drive out of sight and stood in the driveway for another minute, considering my witchy, spirited little wife. I had fully expected
she wouldn't show up that morning, that she'd call off this farce of a marriage and move out after what had happened the day before with the list and the wine. And I couldn't decide if I wanted that or not. Clearly, we did not complement each other in any arrangement, business or otherwise. I had still been stewing about the wine, but if I really considered it, things had gone awry for me when I'd seen her naked. If I could erase the vision from my brain, I would, because I hadn't been able to stop thinking about her since. Totally unwelcome . . . and yet utterly undeniable. When I'd walked into her cottage and had seen her standing there completely nude, lust had gripped me so tightly, I'd almost grabbed the doorframe for support. For a moment, I'd been overcome by something strong enough to make me feel weak in the knees, my mind going suddenly and briefly blank. I'd never experienced anything quite like it before. I had to believe it was partly the shock of the situation that had stolen my breath right from my body, making me almost savage with want. I was picturing her now, my mind's eye conjuring up her smooth, supple skin; full, delectable breasts with rose-hued nipples; gently flaring hips; and legs that were long and shapely despite her smaller stature. She was slim, but her clothing hid just how luscious she was. But I knew now. And I wished I didn't. This did not bode well for the business relationship we had arranged. This did not bode well for my peace of mind. I had no desire to have lustful thoughts for my wife. Like the ones I'd had when she'd shown up in the driveway this afternoon, looking like she'd spent the day in bed having sex: her cheeks and lips flushed, her eyes bright, nipples hard, and her hair tousled wildly. For a brief instant, I'd wondered if she had been having sex with someone in her cottage and something that felt suspiciously like jealousy had gripped me. Then I'd wondered if she'd just been alone in that small bed, her hands on her own body . . . I knew the look of an aroused woman. It had made me crazy and frustrated enough to accept Jade's offer. My body throbbed at the memory, and I swore under my breath at my own unwanted reaction to Kira. No, thinking about my wife that way made me decidedly grumpy and hostile. Today would have to be the only day off limits as far as sleeping with other women, because there was no way I’d survive thinking about Kira the way I was. I'd need to distract myself with other willing bodies. And, I admitted, with more mindfulness than I'd almost shown tonight. Spending time with women who knew my name and where I lived wasn't exactly following the agreement Kira and I had made regarding conducting our personal lives with discretion. And now there was even more reason to get this part of our marriage over with so she would be out of my hair sooner rather than later.