Chapter 16
Goodbye
When I came to, I was inside one of the empty examination rooms. Well, it wasn’t empty anymore. My grandmother stood beside me, holding my hand, while Dr. Roberts stood over me, doing his best to smile. “Good to have you back.”
Once I had remembered where I was, and why I was here, I was looking for Duncan. He had wanted this reaction, had pushed for it, and I wanted to know why. I found him perched sideways in the doorway.
“Why? Why wouldn’t you tell me?” I asked him.
“Because, you needed that moment for it to be etched into your brain forever. She’s one of them now, Ana, and there will be times when you’ll want to convince yourself that it’s not true, that she’s not really a murdering savage. Now, whenever those lies come, this memory will come too, and you’ll remember. You’ll know. You may not understand it right now, but you will. Trust me, you will.”
He was right about how my mind worked. I was quick to hold on to whatever sliver of hope allowed me to stay positive, it was how I chose to deal my mother’s attack, and I’d been right that she’d had a way to safety. How else to explain her getting to that hospital? I thought about our conversation that night, and how quickly I’d dismissed the possibility that she was a vampire. He must have feared that the obstinacy was still there, and after being right the last time, could even be stronger. Therefore, he had done what he needed to crush it. To protect me. Once I had realized that was what he was doing, I felt the willingness to be angry slip away from me. I was a little hurt though; it still felt like a major violation of trust.
I dropped my head and took a deep breath. I could feel the tears coming and this time they were for her. She was a vampire. A monster.
“What will you do with her?” I asked.
Duncan started to say something more, but Dr. Roberts cut him off. “She’s really only technically dead. Her body hasn’t fully undergone the transformation just yet, and with the venom preserving her body tissues, all we would really need to do is to reverse the process somehow. A couple of colleagues and I have been developing some new treatments in Egypt. We haven’t had any real success yet, but we’re very optimistic. I wouldn’t give up hope just yet.”
My grandmother scoffed. “You will not use a Rasputin as some guinea pig for pointless experiments.”
Duncan seconded her thoughts. “You’ve done what you could Julio, there is no point in getting the girl’s hopes up for nothing.”
“Do it,” I said quickly. All three of them turned to me. “I’m the heir, and I order you to try.” I couldn’t believe I’d just said that.
Dr. Roberts turned to the other two. Duncan rolled his eyes, while my grandmother held her mouth open in shock.
“In fact,” I said, while I still had a streak of courage in me, “both of you can leave since you don’t think it’ll work. I read that really sick people can sense negativity in a room, and I don’t want that for her.”
Feeling my courage waning as the two of them stared at me in disbelief; I slid off the bed and started for my mother’s room. Duncan was still blocking the door, and I didn’t meet his eyes for fear that they would strip me of whatever strength I had left. I waited there patiently for a few seconds and then he moved to let me through. I said “Thank you,” in a small voice and moved up the hall.
Dr. Roberts ran to catch up with me, and as he unlocked the door, I could hear my grandmother and Duncan arguing. I took a deep breath and readied myself for the worst. I prepared myself for a monster that wouldn’t recognize me, that might even try to kill me. It would be hard, but maybe these treatments would work, and if they didn’t, and she did become a monster, then maybe I could save her humanity. If what Tristan told me was true, then maybe I could do it again. Maybe I could make up for being such an awful daughter.
Dr. Roberts pushed open the door and I followed him in. Feeling my nerves, I decided to work my way up to looking at her in the bed. First, I moved my eyes to the shelves of leaves and mushrooms and brightly colored liquids packed neatly into see-through jars. On the counter near the sink was a very large book that looked ancient. The pages were covered in beautiful but faded handwriting that wasn’t English. I saw Dr. Robert’s hand reach for a remote and point it at the tiny bulb at the center of the ceiling.
“It’s one of the treatments I’ve been experimenting with,” he explained, sensing my curiosity. “It’s UV radiation cranked up a bit. The very same thing that’s in natural sunlight. It weakens the aggressiveness of the venom. It’s no cure, but it’s actually shown tremendous promise as a delaying agent, though only in bites from higher generation vampires.”
Again, a question about Tristan popped into my head, but I sent it away. Now was the time to be focused on my mother. Therefore, I turned my gaze to her: She was lying on her back with tubes in her neck, twitching every so often in her hospital gown. Her movements had appeared so much more dramatic the last time I was in here. I could see now that it was only because I hadn’t expected them.
She appeared to be asleep, albeit a restless sleep. Her breaths were even and long and the machine she was connected to showed that her heartbeat was strong and steady. It would be easy to convince myself that there had been some kind of terrible mistake if not for the black streaks webbing out across her arms and legs. I could see it being sucked out of her by one of the machines and replaced with blood from a bag; unfortunately, it didn’t appear to be doing much good.
“Those black streaks on her skin are the venom?” I asked.
He nodded.
“Will it work?” I followed, this time nodding to the machine replacing her blood. I already knew the answer.
He shook his head. “If I’d gotten her sooner, before it got into her heart, then maybe. This machine ensures that only clean blood reaches her brain. Unfortunately, the venom will find a way up there with or without the use of her bloodstream. But, until it does reach her brain, we still have time.”
When Dr. Roberts turned to put together a syringe, I took the opportunity to whisper an apology to my mother for what had happened to her. Not that any apology would be enough for this. Doctor Roberts gave my mother a shot and then spent much of the next hour explaining all of the newly discovered techniques that were displayed at their annual conference. He laughed when I asked if he cared about what usually came to mind when people thought of “witch doctors.”
After working for another hour or so, during which time he’d only stopped to answer Duncan’s call to his cell phone, he announced that he was leaving for the night.
“Would it be alright if I stayed here?” I asked.
He looked wary. “I don’t know, I kinda promised Duncan that I’d bring you home.”
“If I go home, they’re not gonna let me come back. They try to protect me from everything—” I stopped myself, realizing that my mother was only a couple of feet away. I hoped that if some part of her was still here, she hadn’t heard that.
“A promise is a promise, Ana.”
I sighed, refusing to allow myself to be angry with the only other one person who was still willing to fight for my mother’s life.
“But if you were to order me to let you to stay…” he added with a grin.
My eyes perked up. “I do. I order you to let me stay.”
He shook his head in mock anger. “You heirs, you just have to have your way, don’t you?” We both laughed at that. “Here,” he said handing me his key. “As long you promise that you’ll stay in one of the examination rooms while I’m not here. I can’t take the chance that she might wake up while you’re in here. Deal?”
“Deal,” I replied.
After he retrieved his things, I followed him into the nearest examination room. The receptionist was emptying the garbage inside. He quickly explained what was going on. She n
odded and left without a word.
“Need anything else before I go?” he asked.
“No, I’m okay,” I answered.
“Alright then, I’m headed home,” he said turning into the hall.
“Dr. Roberts?” I called.
He reappeared in the doorway. “Yes?”
“I just wanted to say that I appreciate what you’re trying to do for my mother. I’m not just some silly girl, well sometimes I am, but not about this. I know that this probably won’t work and what that might mean for her, but thank you for trying. For not giving up. It helps me…deal with it.”
He came and sat down next to me on the bed. “It was your aunt that taught me not to give up. I used to listen to her speak at the council meetings. I was a young guardian then, and she would deliver such passionate speeches about the need for us to embrace acceptance, to get past the old grudges. She knew it would fall on deaf ears, which the elders in our community were reluctant to take up change, but she would fight to speak every month. For some of us, those who were really willing to hear her, it was monthly pep talk of sorts. She challenged us to be better than what we were, and sparked my desire to become a doctor. It’s why I put my practice outside the city limits. Humans deserve the gifts of healing that magic can offer, just as much as we do. The people who carried out the atrocities of the witch trials are long dead. I know that it’s probably not fair, and I’m sure that you’re tired of hearing it by now, but when I see you, the resemblance, I think of her message. It fills me with some of the passion I’d lost when she died. I hope I’m not making you uncomfortable.”
I shook my head. “I just hope I can be like that someday.”
He smiled. “The way you stood up to your grandmother and chief guardian today, I’d say you’ve definitely inherited her fearlessness.”
I smiled, and he rubbed my shoulder before getting up to leave. Watching him disappear into the hallway, I found myself wishing badly that somehow Tristan’s words were true—that the strong, confident girl that everyone seemed to adore was somewhere inside of me. And if that was true, then maybe there was hope for my mother too, maybe she could turn out like Tristan.
Even with everyone gone, the clinic was never quiet. Machines hummed into the night and the air conditioning came on with such force that it sounded like thunder. Not that I would have gotten much sleep anyway. A million thoughts were popping into my head all at once. Between Tristan’s visit and my mother’s return, there was just too much for me to process to drift gently off to sleep.
So I got up. I stepped out into the hall and turned for my mother’s room. I tried the doorknob, even though I knew it would be locked. No surprise, it was. Sighing, I leaned against the wall and slipped down onto the floor.
After sitting in silence for a few minutes, a frightening thought occurred to me. What would happen if she were to become a vampire? They’d never answered that question. Earlier, I’d thought that maybe I could save her humanity with reminders of her life before. But would I ever get the chance? Would they kill her?
A surge of anger rushed through me. I wouldn’t let them, I decided, no matter what. Sure, they’d say that they’re protecting people by preventing another vampire from entering the world. On the other hand, maybe that it was in her best interest to be allowed to die—that it’s what she would have wanted... My newfound resolve crumbled. It would be what she would have wanted—it had to be, didn’t it? I mean, she’d spent my whole childhood keeping vampires a secret, going to extreme lengths to do so, how could she ever endure being one of them? I shook that line of thought from my mind. I could at least ensure that she got the choice. Though it would destroy me to hear that she wanted to die.
That awful ringing sound the door made whenever someone entered the clinic woke me the next morning. Realizing that I was still seated in the hall, I jumped up and darted into the examination room where Dr. Roberts had told me to stay until he returned.
He was rested and reenergized when he entered my room, and completely ready to tackle the impossible. It was written on his face. Seeing him like this lifted my spirits considerably.
After asking how I’d slept, he asked me to come outside with him to his truck. It was a beat-up old pickup truck and he’d loaded all kinds of books and equipment onto the back.
“They must not pay witch doctors very much,” I thought out loud, immediately regretting how rude it sounded.
He laughed. “I don’t do this for the money, Ana.”
He handed me a couple small boxes, and after grabbing a large metal contraption of some sort, he led me back into the clinic. He had me stand back while he opened the door, in case my mother had “woke up” during the night. When he didn’t return right away, I swallowed hard and stepped into the doorway. He was standing over her, his eyes trained on her neck. Gone was the optimism that was present just a few minutes prior, replaced almost entirely by despair.
It was a while before he’d noticed me there. I’d been too frightened to say a word. “Oh, I’m sorry,” he said, once he finally looked up. He was doing his best to regain his cheerfulness. “I didn’t mean to keep you waiting out there. I—“
“We’ve run out of time haven’t we?”
He nodded.
Crippling pain ripped the air from my chest and warm tears streaked down my face. I struggled to remain calm. I leaned against the inside of the door for support and let myself cry.
But only for a moment. Now was the time to be strong, I decided quickly. “What are you going to do with her now?” I asked him plainly.
The question seemed to throw him. He opened his mouth a couple of times, but stopped himself before any words came out.
“Please tell me you’re not going to kill her.”
I clenched my fists as I entertained the desperate thoughts that were running through my head. I looked around the room for potential weapons—my mother had taught me to do that—willing to defend her with force if it came to that. There was no way I was going to let him kill her. This time I was protecting her.
“Ana…What else can we do? We owe it to her to keep her soul pure. She deserves the chance to see heaven.”
“But…” The thought of any kind of afterlife hadn’t even crossed my mind. How could I deny her that? There could be no more selfish act in the whole world. Still, some part of me couldn’t bear to have her put down like some animal.
“But I can save her!” I pleaded. “I have to…”
Dr. Roberts, who had already started toward me, initiated a hug. “And what if you can’t? Are you willing to wager that much?”
I wasn’t. I broke down, no longer fighting the tears.
“It’s okay Ana, just let it out.”
“Ana, are you alright?” I heard Darren’s voice behind me. I felt Dr. Roberts’s head shift in his direction, and though no words were spoken, Darren must have gotten the message. “I’ll be in the waiting room if you need anything,” he followed.
After I’d calmed down a bit, Dr. Roberts suggested I say my goodbyes. He reminded me that this chance was not one that everyone received. I should say any and everything I needed to. He gave her an injection of something, assuring me that it was only to give me some more time with her, and not the injection that would end her second life.
I waited until he left the room and then took my mother’s left hand. Every so often, it would twitch, and I would feel myself start to lose it again, but I was able to stay strong. With my eyes shut, and a weird tingling sensation on my back, I poured out my heart—apologizing for everything I could ever remember doing wrong, telling her how much I loved her and would miss her. Finally, I said goodbye. The finality of it made me shiver. Dr. Robert’s cell phone began to chime on the counter and I decided that there was nothing left to say.
I grabbed the cell p
hone and started toward the door in no real rush. Whoever it was, Dr. Roberts could always call them back. However, he must have heard it too because he met me at the door. I handed him the phone. Whoever called, it must have annoyed him because he looked irritated when he dialed the number back. He stepped into an examination room to get some privacy, but for as loud as he was talking, he might as well have stayed put.
“This is not the time—,” he started. “I don’t care how important she says it is…I’ve got a family member in here who’s just lost her mother… She knows...? I’m going.”
He came back into the hall, moving quickly past me before disappearing into my mother’s room. I heard Dr. Roberts swear and I rushed back inside to see what had happened.
His phone was on the floor. He turned and stared at me in stunned silence. “You…did this?” he asked, pointing to my mother.
His words scared me. It sounded like an accusation. “Did what?” I asked with a worried voice.
He practically ran to me, grabbed me by the shoulders, and guided me over to the bed.
“This,” he said releasing his grip.
I gasped. The black streaks on her neck were gone, and her entire left arm was clear as well.