Chapter 24
Homecoming
“When I die this time, what will you do?”
“Ana, this is my heaven. Right now, these moments. When your life as Ana is over, then I will have no reason to keep going. Except, while you spend an eternity in bliss, I will have simply ceased to exist. This has been a better fate than I deserved.”
The way he spoke about me, it soothed me down to my core. The way in which he regarded himself, his decision just to let himself fade away once I was gone—that it was all he deserved— was heart wrenching. But what could I do? What could I say? The only thing I had it in my power to do was to make this last lifetime special, but to ensure that, I would need to find out what could potentially tear us apart. That was especially important now that I was getting memories. I couldn’t end up like Aleksandra.
I steered my questions away from that topic and back to where I might get some clues. From what I had gathered so far, from his body language, it somehow involved his relationship with Daemon.
“Is Daemon still alive?” I asked.
“You’re very interested in Daemon, aren’t you?”
“Just curious.”
Skepticism flashed across his face, but faded. His eyes took up that tortured expression again. “He’s alive.”
My heartbeat quickened, but he seemed to be too deep into his own thoughts to have noticed. I hated to see him like this, but it was for his own good. Knowing what the “bad thing” was could only help me to avoid falling into the same trap. “Does he know about how you’ve changed?”
“He does.”
“And he doesn’t care?” I asked.
“Not now that the war is over. I think that he takes solace in the fact that I, and now Aiden, have left the vampire world behind. That means two less vampires to challenge him. Aiden is the general that defeated the witches, and I am the warrior whose feats in battle are held up as legendary by my kind. As the more famous of “The Four,” we have considerable influence over “The First,” the large community of vampires that were the first to be turned. If Daemon is king, and “The Four” his heirs, then “The First” would be our nobles. Vampires turned later are considered lesser or “common” because the venom in their veins is so diluted. Udric and Nathena, the other two vampires turned by Daemon, have used their status as members of the “The Four” to lead countless revolts against him. They might be successful if not for the fact that they have to keep him alive.”
“And why is that?” I pressed.
He slid his arms away from me and leaned up in the bed. “I think that’s enough “Daemon talk” for tonight.” His tone was light, but I knew I was close to something.
I sat up too, shaking my head. “We made a deal.”
“Did we?”
“If I don’t ask you about the bad thing, then you have to answer the rest of my questions. You promised.”
“Oh, that deal. Ana…”
I cut him off with a look.
He studied my face. He had to know what I was up to, but he couldn’t really accuse me openly, that would be admitting that I was on to whatever he was hiding. If I really was just asking out of curiosity’s sake, then his answering wouldn’t matter, I wouldn’t know that it meant anything. Since he was backed into a corner, answering was the only option he had.
Finally, he did. “Because all of our fates are tied to his. We call him The Source because it’s believed that the magic that gives the venom its powers of preservation is drawn from the spell Merline cast to keep Daemon alive. If his life ends, then the spell is broken. Simply put, if he dies, we all do.”
I thought about that for a moment, but only found myself more confused—and a little worried. What if one of those revolts got out of hand? If one of those vampires went too far?
“Can we change the subject now?” He seemed slightly annoyed with me, but had a satisfied look about him. His answer had only served to make me more confused. Plus, my disappearing into thought had given me away. He now knew for a fact that I was actively trying to figure out what he was keeping from me.
I conceded and moved on. “Are you angry at Aiden for misleading you?”
“I used to be,” he replied. “It was part of what fueled me on the battlefield. My brother had betrayed me, making me a monster against my will, and because of that, I had no regard for my own life. I would charge into conflicts recklessly. Only, I was too used to surviving to ever truly let myself be killed.”
“It wasn’t until I met you for the first time, that the anger began to subside. Had he not done what he did, I would never have met you.” He smiled up at me now, the thought of having been able to meet me instantly improving his mood. I started to feel guilty about being so sneaky before. “Aiden must have sought us out almost a dozen times during that first eleven months, asking me to return with him to our world. When I would refuse him, he would call me a traitor, or even disown me as a brother.” He laughed. “Sometimes both. When he came again shortly after I’d lost you that first time, he attacked me. I let him win. I begged him to kill me. I think my grief was what made him finally understand. As much as he could at that time, anyway. He didn’t come nearly as often after that. It wasn’t until he experienced it for himself that he fully understood. Ironically, it was during one of his more recent “What are you doing with your life?” visits that it happened.” He smiled at me again and shook his head playfully. “He’s always been a sucker for brown eyes.”
I couldn’t help but laugh.
“I should go,” he whispered.
“Why?” I asked.
“Someone’s on their way up here. A male, it sounds like.” He kissed my forehead. “And just so we’re clear, Daemon has nothing to do with the “bad thing.” It was fun to watch your inner detective at work, though.” He gave me a quick grin and a wink, and then disappeared out over my balcony.
A knock sounded on the door. No one ever knocked, they just sort of came in. After rushing over to the mirror, I was satisfied that whoever this was wouldn’t be able to tell that I’d been so flustered by Duncan. Tristan had me feeling like me again. “Come in,” I yelled.
Darren poked his head inside the door. That was a surprise.
“Hey, it’s me,” he said.
“Hey,” I said uncomfortably.
“Um, can we talk?” he asked.
It was the last thing I wanted to do, but I knew that I wouldn’t get a better chance than this to end things. “Sure,” I said.
I started to lead him toward the bed, but stopped myself. Instead, I brought him over to the sofa on the other side of room. It was the first time it had ever been used.
“Your room is amazing,” he said looking around.
“Yeah, it’s bigger than all my old ones combined, I think.”
He shot me a half smile. “I tried to call, but nobody answered.”
“Oh, sorry. Helena usually answers the phone, but she’s still at the clinic.”
“No problem.” There was a brief pause before he cleared his throat. “It’s just that I’ve been thinking, and well… maybe I moved too fast with you. I probably shouldn’t have kissed you liked that.”
That kiss had been amazing and I wanted to tell him that, but this opportunity was like a gift. I had to take it. “I didn’t want to say anything. I mean, you’re like amazing, perfect, sweet, and funny—“
“But…” he gently interrupted.
I sighed on the inside. “But I don’t think I’m really ready to be in like a boyfriend/girlfriend kind of serious thing.” I kinda prided myself on being a pretty decent liar, another skill my mother insisted I learn for my own protection, but this was difficult. The words were hard to get out.
“I could kinda tell,” he said, looking down at the floor. “You seemed uncomfortable around me after that kiss.”
I didn’t think it would feel this awful to lie to him. However, I was certain that even as accepting as he had been about my being a conjurer; there was no way he’d understand that I was in love with a vampire. So I continued the lie. “Yeah, it kinda changed things for the worst.”
He stood up and stuck out his hand. “Friends then?”
I looked up at him and couldn’t believe how well he was taking this. I didn’t imagine that he was the type of guy who got turned down often. Then I probably shouldn’t be surprised, I’d known for a while now that he was amazing.
I got up and took his hand. A small part of me screamed inside. “Friends,” I replied.
He laughed. “Our grandmothers are gonna be so disappointed.”
I forced a smile. “Yeah.”
Another wordless moment passed as we headed over to the door. Darren again broke the silence. “I don’t know if you knew or not, but I kinda have a bad reputation. I tried to be a different person around you, mostly because I didn’t want to screw it up this time. Thing is, I like the person I am around you. I feel kinda proud to be in my own skin for once. You’re different from any of the girls I’ve dated. That day when you got on me about having three cars, that blew me away. Most girls I know wouldn’t be able to get past how much they cost. Even if we never work out, at least I know what to look for now. Thanks for that.”
He looked into my eyes now and there was more than friendship behind his stare. It was much deeper than that. This would probably be the last time he would ever look at me like this. After tonight, our spark would begin to fade, and though it might resurface sometimes, it would never be this intense. Eventually, he would find another girl, she would be lucky to have him, and then I would stop getting this look at all. He was waiting, giving me a chance to change my mind—to tell him that I didn’t want him to go. That I wanted to be with him. Things would be different between us, maybe forever, if I allowed him to leave now.
I didn’t say anything.
He tried to conceal the disappointment he was feeling behind that handsome smile of his, but I could see it was there. My heart ached. He turned and started down the hall. I watched him go.
“Oh,” he said turning around. “You should call Taylor. She was really upset when she called me earlier. She thinks that you’re ashamed of her or something?”
I thought back to how quickly she had left the clinic. “I’ll give her a call.”
He nodded and then disappeared down the steps. I waited a few moments and then went in search of the phone.
Patching things up with Taylor was much easier. She admitted that it had hurt her feelings for me to include the fact that she was from New Brighton in my introduction to Dr. Roberts. She thought that it was my way of letting him know that she wasn’t rich like I was. Floored that she would think I, of all people, classified people based on their wealth, it amazed even me how quickly an explanation popped into my head. I told her, that I had told him, that I was having trouble making friends with girls from Old Brighton. I explained that he had suggested that I would have more in common with girls from the other side of town because the girls here were so stuck up. So when I told him that she was from New Brighton, I was really just letting him know that he’d been right. She sighed and gave me a goofy “Oh, gosh,” and we were instantly best friends again. She invited me to ride with her to the season opening football game tomorrow night to watch Darren and Chris play.
It struck me, after hanging up the phone, that Darren hadn’t mentioned anything about the game. Then, if I hadn’t just “kinda sorta” broken up with him, I’m sure he would have. Feeling awful again, I buried my head under my pillows and fell asleep.
Once again, I found myself inside a memory from a lifetime before.
Pitch black surrounded me, and there was pressure against my eyelids to keep me from opening them. A mixture of muffled laughter, hushed voices, and the humming of an engine sounded in my ears. I was sitting on someone’s legs, and being up in the air like this gave me the disconcerting sensation of floating.
“You don’t have to hold my pants so tight,” Tristan’s voice whispered. I could feel his breath on my ear. “I won’t let you fall.”
I wasn’t so certain.
Something began to tickle my nose and I could hear someone in the front seat struggling to conceal their amusement.
I had no idea who else was in the car, we’d picked them up after my sight had been taken away, but their subdued laughter sounded strangely familiar to me. It almost sounded like— no, that was impossible. Still, I hoped it might be them.
“Leave the poor girl alone,” Tristan said chuckling. “You’ve been messing with her since we left—you know how much she hates surprises.” His words were meant to be a reprimand, but he could hardly keep the laughter from his voice. “She’s never going to agree to something like this again.”
“You’re right, I’m not,” I agreed. I did hate feeling like this, but I trusted Tristan completely. I wondered if he might have truly done the impossible. Who else would get such a kick out of teasing me?
We rode in silence for a little longer, and I felt myself relax a little. Then the car began to slow.
“It’s just on the other side,” Tristan said to whoever was driving.
I felt myself grow uneasy again, as competing butterflies—both of apprehension and of anxious anticipation—warred in my stomach. The car stopped, and Tristan spoke into my ear again.
“Running away has never been easy for you, but it’s always been necessary for us. This time has been especially difficult, I know—“
“Tristan, you know I’d give up anything—“
“I know you would,” he breathed. “But this has been the first time that you’ve had siblings, and I know how much you’ve missed them. You always accuse me of going overboard on your birthday, and though the location might be in line with birthdays past, I doubt you’ll find fault with the gift.”
He removed his hands from my eyes and “Surprise!” rang out around the truck. My mother, father, and two sisters surrounded me, and I felt my jaw plummet. He’d really done it.
“But…How? This can’t be…I…Tristan!”
My father, who had been driving, leaned forward and cleared his throat.
Regret stained his face and I knew what was coming. “Papa…you don’t have to...”
He’d put up his hand. “No, this is something I need to say in front of all of you. I should have listened. You tried to explain things and I didn’t handle it very well. I didn’t give you any choice but to run away and for that I am so sorry. I ripped this family apart, and there wasn’t a night that went by that I didn’t hate myself for it. Every day I prayed for your return, and when Tristan’s letter arrived, explaining everything, and how much you’ve missed us, well I just had to come…you’re still my little girl…and…”
I reached up and wrapped my arms around him. “I know Papa. I love you too.”
Beyond him, I could see the Pyramids rising up in the distance to tickle the fading sun. It was breathtaking. On the ground in front of the truck was a large blanket, and there were cakes and pies littered across the top of it.
I turned my head to Tristan. “Did you tell them about…?”
He nodded. “Tomorrow, you’re going home.”