Chapter 5
Memories
“Are you my grandmother?” I felt pretty silly having to ask.
“Oh no, dear," she replied in a delicate voice. "I am merely the keeper of the house. Your grandmother waits for you in her study. Shall I show you inside?”
Butterflies took flight in my stomach. “S-sure,” I stuttered.
The woman smiled and stepped aside, giving me my first view of the interior of the mansion. It was enormous, this main room, and probably bigger than any of the houses I’d ever lived in. The floor glistened as though permanently wet, and tall, very old looking paintings hung from the walls. Rising up from the center of the room, were twin staircases that bent away from one another and met a higher floor, which overlooked this room. Maids had gathered near the railing there and were whispering busily to one another. I pretended not to notice.
“Come on dear, don’t be shy.”
I stepped inside and immediately the smell of something sweet touched my nose. It was familiar, I had smelled it before, but at that moment, I couldn’t place it. The old woman slid the glass door shut behind me and then placed her hand on my shoulder.
“It is good to see you well after all these years. My name is Helena. If you need anything, please do not hesitate to call on me.”
“Um, thanks.” I didn’t know what else to say.
“Come now, your grandmother has been very anxious since last night. She’ll want very much to see that you’re well.”
The woman hurried into a hall off the main room and I did my best to keep up. She was much faster than she looked. Painted portraits lined the first portion of the hall, abruptly followed by a succession of black and white photographs, and then colored ones of increasing quality. I took them in as best I could while trying not to lose track of Helena, but stopped cold when I saw my own face. I had never had a picture taken in my whole life. My mother wouldn’t allow it. The photograph was just short of the double doors at the end of the hall and when Helena noticed I’d stopped, she turned back to join me in front of it.
“Is that me?” I asked.
“No dear. That is your aunt, Aleksandra. I did not want to seem rude by mentioning the resemblance when I greeted you at the door, but it is rather uncanny. When I saw you last, you were but a baby in your diapers, and I thought then that you looked incredibly like your mother. Now, it seems to me that you have inherited much more from your aunt than just her eyes.”
I stared at the photograph a moment longer. “I’d say.”
At her insistence, I left the photograph and turned for the large wooden doors that ended the hall. Helena gave a light tap and a voice called, but I couldn’t make out exactly what was said. Helena pushed open the doors and then smiled back at me, waving for me to follow.
I entered what appeared to be a very small library. Bookcases filled the right side of the room, leaving only space enough for a small fireplace. A large wooden desk stood immediately to my left and it was there that a very old woman sat. Her face was damp and her hands were sweeping what appeared to be photographs off the desk and into a drawer.
“I present the princess, Anastasia Aleksandra Adams of the Rasputin line, rightful heir of Merline, the first,” Helena announced.
My grandmother smiled brightly, unaware that her moist red eyes were betraying her show of joy. I smiled back, though I wondered if my own smile was as transparent.
“Leave us please,” my grandmother said to Helena with a dismissive wave of her hand. Helena bowed and ducked back into the hall, shutting the doors behind her.
My grandmother stared at me for a moment. I tried not to meet her eyes.
“Duncan’s description of you was accurate, indeed,” she began. “Had I not lost Aleksandra so many years ago, I might assume you were her daughter, and not Natalya’s.”
I wasn’t sure how I was supposed to react. Sure, we looked alike, but it wasn’t like I knew why. “Yeah,” I said looking down, “I saw her picture in the hall.”
She smiled with just her lips. “Tis a running account of all the heirs of the Rasputin royal line. Your picture will be added soon enough…”
Her smile faded and she shook her head. “Please allow me to apologize formally for my not greeting you properly. I should have met you at the door and shown you around myself. There should be celebrations to mark your return to Wintre, but I’m afraid the reason you’re here has dealt this old woman a rather cruel blow. Living to see both of her children pass on before her is a pain that I would wish on no woman. Alas, there is solace in the fact that the Rasputin line persists, and in my being granted one last chance to raise a daughter who will not grow up to resent me.”
She reached her hand into the drawer and pulled out a photograph, which she laid flat on the table. It was a picture of two small girls in fancy little dresses of red and green, both smiling and hugging one another. She smiled again, and let a tear fall. “Tis how I will always remember them.”
It had been my full intent to dislike this woman. I had set my mind upon it. Yet, standing here alone with her, with my own eyes welling up, I could think of nothing else to do but to run around the desk and hug her. And that’s exactly what I did.
It was a long time before either of us thought of letting go, but when the time did come, she kissed my cheek and said, “Go and rest now child, I’m sure you’re weary after today’s travels. Sleep peacefully with the knowledge that no vampires can overcome the old magics that protect Brighton, and seals them out. We shall have a proper reunion in the morning.”
She smiled, clapped her hands and Helena came through the door, wiping her eyes.
“It seems that our years together have still not completely cured you of your spying, have they Helena?” my grandmother asked, laughing hoarsely.
Helena shook her head and continued to wipe her face. “I shall show Anastasia to her room now.”
"Wait," I said, turning back to my grandmother. "You should know there is still a chance that she's alive. It's what I'm hoping."
She bowed her head for a moment, and then smiled up at me from her desk. "Let us hope then."
Helena touched my shoulder and I turned to follow, hurrying after her again, this time up some stairs and through an ornately decorated sitting room, across an enormous ballroom, up more stairs and finally into a deserted hall. The air up here was stale.
“This was your mother’s and aunt’s wing of the house. There are four bedrooms in all up here. Sadly, your mother’s room was emptied after the…disagreement, but your aunt’s room remains untouched if you would prefer it. Or, if you would like a room all your own, there are two guest rooms a bit further—“
“I’ll take my aunt’s room.”
Helena nodded. “It is an excellent choice. The best views of the gardens and decorative hedges that lie behind the main house can be seen from there.”
Helena showed me through the second door on the short hall, and I felt my jaw drop. The far wall was made completely of glass, with a slender glass door at its center, leading out onto a wide balcony. The side walls were dark red like velvet with golden accents along the corners and baseboards. A bed capable of swallowing me up whole took up the entire right portion of the room, and to my left were a comfortable looking sofa, a piano, a small desk and chair, two doors, and a long chest of drawers over which a wide mirror stood. Looking into that mirror now, I could see Helena over my shoulder, chuckling at my disbelief. This room was amazing.
The only thing out of place was me. It didn't feel natural to have so much. Helena touched my shoulder again, seeming to sense my concerns. “It is yours now. This is the life you were born to lead."
I nodded hesitantly.
"I’ll leave you to your rest, then. Sweet dreams, Anastasia.”
After discovering that one of the door
s led to a large walk-in closet, and the other to a bathroom the size of my old bedroom, I went over to the enormous bed and let myself fall backwards into it. “I’m a witch,” I said out loud. I found myself laughing at the thought of it. I said it again, this time in a serious manner. It felt even more surreal. Like at any moment people were going to jump from behind the curtains with cameras to surprise me, to say that this was all a joke…
If only it were. My mood sobered as my thoughts turned to my mother and aunt. Desperate not to focus on the fact that they could both be dead, I tried instead to think about their time here. What must it have been like to grow up in a place like this? How did it feel to have a sister? I’d barely had friends. Then, that was because of her. Because she was trying to protect me, I quickly reminded myself. However, why not give me a say? Why not let me make the decision for myself? Wasn't that why she took me in the first place? To keep me from being controlled by someone else? I could feel the old emotions returning, the frustrations settling back into place, but I quickly pushed them all away. She deserved better than that from me.
My eyes had just begun to shut when the creak of a moving door jolted them open. I stood up and searched the room with my eyes. No one was here. I went over, pulled the closet door shut, and then returned to the bed, this time pulling back the covers, when the noise sounded again.
“Hello? Is anyone in here?”
No one replied.
Again, it was the closet door that had mysteriously opened on its own. This time I went inside to investigate. Something moved past the door.
I stuck my head back into the bedroom and scanned the room again. Nothing.
“Okay, now you’re really cracking up, Ana. Ghosts too?” I shook the crazy thoughts from my head and returned to the bed. Only, it wasn’t how I’d left it. Sitting on top of the covers was a thin leather bound book with a clasp. Okay, so there was no way it could have gotten there by itself. I turned and looked around the room. “Is somebody in here?” I called. Still no answer. I sat down on the bed, carefully undid the clasp, and then lifted up the cover.
The Private Diary of Lexy
Natalya, if you read any of these pages your eyeballs will fall out!
Was this my aunt’s diary? But how did it get here? There was only one other page intact, the rest had all been ripped out. I flipped the first page over and began to read.
October 12
Dear Diary,
Do you believe in love at first sight? Well I do. I saw a boy that was impossibly handsome yesterday afternoon while I was visiting the theater with my mother. He was two rows down from us and he just sort of turned around as I took my seat. He stared at me for only a few seconds, but I felt my heart stop. He never turned around again after that, though I could hardly stop staring at the back of his head, and he left the theater before the show ended. I wanted to go after him, but I knew my mother would never approve of my leaving during the middle of a performance for any reason. So I spent the rest of the day thinking about what might have been.
He came to me like something out of a book. Like Peter Pan! It happened last night.
I had just laid down for bed when I saw a figure on the balcony. I reached for my lamp, and when I turned it on, his face was just above mine. I watched his eyes search my face. I couldn’t move. He was so beautiful, not cute, like a couple of the boys at Heathwood, but beautiful. His skin was pale, and his dark hair blended into the shadows. But it was his eyes that kept me still. I was lost in them. They were green like the fields near the lake when the sunlight hits them in the late afternoon. I tried to explain to Natalya how his eyes looked (don’t worry I didn’t tell her anything else about him or how I’d met him) and she called me silly for describing any boy’s eyes like that. I don’t think she’s ever seen a boy like him.
Anyway, I know you’re dying to know what happened next!
I tried to say something, but the words wouldn’t come. I was just moving my lips. He smiled and told me not to speak. I listened. He leaned over and kissed my cheek, and it felt like fire against my skin. It was hard to breathe. Then he moved his lips to my neck. He waited there for a moment, I’m not sure why, but just as I leaned forward to see what he was doing, he kissed my neck, and my entire body shook! I suddenly felt hot all over and a tingling on the insides of my thighs that I’ve never felt before. I wanted so badly for him to kiss me again, but he stopped. He put his lips to my ear and told me “not tonight.” Then he was gone—
The sound of the closet door springing open again interrupted my reading. “I know somebody’s here,” I yelled. This was getting creepy. Setting the book down, I stood up again, and slowly moved toward the closet. I stopped just short of the door.
“If you’re in there, this is your chance to come out. I…I won’t scream or anything. Just come out—“
The lights went out and something moved quickly past me in the dark. As I turned, the lights flashed back on and the glass door leading out onto the balcony was now wide open. I hurried outside and searched the balcony, and the ground just below. When I found nothing there, I looked out into a large garden, and then out farther to an enormous maze of hedges. There was no sign of anyone. As my heart began to slow to its normal pace, I looked back over my shoulder to the diary on my bed. Only now, there was a small sheet of paper on top.
I rushed back inside and lifted the note to my face. It read:
Hoping you’ll remember…