Grounded
By Teresa Balin
*****
PUBLISHED BY:
Grounded
Copyright © 2011 by Teresa Balin
*****
Nurses rushed Sheila into the delivery room, as her contractions were now in close proximity to each other. Just as Doctor Jones was sterilized, she cried out in pain, as a powerful contraction was forcing the baby to withdraw. Doctor Jones was in position, gently nudging and guiding the baby forth. With the next push, the baby seemed to fly out of the womb. Had Doctor Jones not caught her, she would have landed on the floor.
“A baby girl!” he proudly announced as he handed her to the mother.
Sheila held her newborn, looking into the startling blue eyes staring back at her.
“What will you name her?”
“Amanda Bell Wainwright,” she quietly replied, as she handed her daughter back to the nurses. She was nearly perfect as the nurses examined her but for a small newborn, she was heavy. Blaming the issue on an uncalibrated scale, they dismissed their concern.
Several years later, Sheila enlisted Amanda for swimming lessons, in an effort to conquer her fear of water. Deathly afraid of water, Amanda would not even take a bath. The powerful smell of chlorine and humidity flooded their senses as they entered the community Olympic-size pool, enclosed within an old warehouse.
While Sheila waited in the cold air outside to smoke a cigarette, Amanda changed into her full size bathing suit. The straps were tight on her shoulders but her mental anguish was worse. Being late, she was the last one to join the other girls and their instructor.
Lining up above the pool, the sparkling water beckoned them to enter its warmth. Amanda could only see the white concrete floor, beneath the watery depths. A tear fell as she awaited further instruction.
When the whistle blew, all the girls jumped in and aggressively swam to the other side of the large pool. Amanda was the last one standing. Legs shaking, she couldn’t urge herself to jump. The instructor blew her whistle several more times and finally came to address Amanda.
“Amanda! Why are you still standing there? How will you learn to swim if you won’t get in the water?” Receiving no answer, she pushed Amanda into the water.
With no time to respond or recover, Amanda fell into the water, creating a big splash. She fell to the bottom and sat on the floor. Looking up, she could see a blurry face looking down at her. She tried to stand up but her legs were too heavy. She waited for darkness to overwhelm her.
Instructor Tammy stared down at Amanda, watching as she sat. The girls started to swim back. Aware of impending danger, she dove into the water and rescued Amanda.
Amanda coughed and struggled to regulate her breathing. The girls were concerned and patted her back. When Sheila came back into the building, embarrassment flushed her cheeks. She ran to her daughter’s side.
“Okay, girls, ten minutes free time,” announced Tammy.
After the girls dispersed, Tammy took Sheila aside and questioned her.
“Can she swim at all?”
“She won’t even attempt it. She’s never been exposed to a pool before so I don’t understand her reaction to it.”
Tammy gently nursed Amanda and brought her to the weigh station.
“Okay, stand here for a second. I’m just going to take your weight and maybe put you in a different class.” Noting her weight, Tammy adjusted the scale. After several attempts of readjusting the scale, she decided to weigh herself for reassurance.
Concern etched Tammy’s face as she walked Sheila towards the exit.
“Are you aware that your daughter is overweight? I mean, I question it because for her age and height, she is almost twenty pounds over her ideal weight.”
Both their eyes shifted as they watched a dry Amanda emerge from the dressing room. At five years old and four feet tall, she was skinny with little body fat. Her clothes were a little tight, as they had to stretch their money, but Sheila didn’t think her daughter was overweight at all.
Sheila let a small laugh escape. “Look at her. She’s not fat. I hope you allowed for the fact that she was wet, as that would add on pounds. I suggest you check your scale again.”
After they left, Tammy did check the scale again. And it registered that she weighed the same as she did yesterday.
Amanda is different from the other kids. When she runs, her legs feel heavy and tire quickly. She can’t jump as high as the others. The other kids tease and ridicule her so most of the time she sits by herself and reads a book or watches the other kids play. Always falling off the bed, she has reduced herself to sleeping on the floor next to her bed.
Simple tasks, such as boarding a car were difficult as Amanda had a hard time raising her foot from the ground. Climbing stairs were a daunting task and they had to move into a ranch style home. When she would sit down, gravity pulled hard on her and her butt was always sore from the hard impact with the chair.
As several more years passed, and Sheila’s concern grew, she finally admitted Amanda to the hospital for tests. After several days and nights in a hospital room, the only outcome was that Amanda’s bone density was very low and she was in the early stages of osteoporosis. There was no explanation for her overstated weight. She was given a high dosage of calcium and sent home.
Once she turned sixteen, Amanda dropped out of school and got a full-time job to help her mom pay the medical bills. It was one of the hardest years on her and she began to develop wrinkles and have sagging skin. With both their low incomes, and the gross amount due in medical expenses, they could not afford any more tests.
Sheila began to drink more often and hardly left the house. Amanda started to do all the chores and pay the bills. It was convenient that she looked older than she was and could purchase alcohol for her mother.
Upon her twentieth birthday, Amanda’s mother passed away, leaving her with the burden of debt and grief. She foreclosed on the house, moved into a tiny apartment, and took a second job delivering flowers.
On the third day of her new job, she had to deliver to a condominium complex. Pulling into the grand entrance, the building was four stories high and had a walkway that ran the length of the face of the building. Her delivery was on the third floor.
Pulling into a parking space marked for guests, she took a few deep breaths. Grabbing the small bouquet of flowers, she boarded the elevator. The dark, compact space led even more to her discomfort. No fresh air pumped through the vents and the musty smell made her nauseous.
Acting like an old man in no hurry, the elevator car trembled with its slow movement. When the doors finally opened, Amanda rushed outside, letting the cool breeze refresh her. Her legs felt extremely heavy and she leaned against the wall for support.
Walking to the front of the building, she stayed as close to the wall as possible. Thinking about how high she was, her ankles felt like they turned to jelly. The space between the railings allowed a visual of the parking space below and the buildings across the street. Trying to avoid glancing in that direction, she remained focused on getting to the fourth door on the right.
Even with the obstruction of the concrete floor, gravity started to pull at her. Having nothing to grasp and pull her weight, she slid to the floor and her body was pulled by an invisible force to the railing.
A couple was below, grilling steaks, when they suddenly looked up to see a pair of legs dangling over the edge of the balcony. Hearing the call for help, they both raced to the elevator.
Amanda cried as she held on as tight as she could to the railing. The hands of gravity were strong and urgently pulled her toward the earth. Hands burned, she wanted to give in to its demand.
The couple raced down the narrow walkw
ay and clung on to the girls arms. Pulling her to safety, they continued to cling to her and bring her back down the elevator, abandoning the broken vase of flowers.
After loaded into an ambulance, Amanda was brought to the police station and locked into an isolated cell by herself. She cried in despair for herself and her unknown condition. Confined for attempted suicide, Amanda was then taken to the mental hospital, where she was admitted for an undisclosed amount of time.
Sleeping pills helped her sleep and she was expected to sleep on the pre-made bed. Nurses were disturbed as every morning they found her sleeping on the hard surface of the floor.
Three days later, a counselor was assigned to Amanda. After basic talk, they got into more serious business.
“So why were you going to kill yourself?”
“I wasn’t. I don’t have the ability to defy gravity. It always pulls me toward it.”
The counselor sighed in exasperation. Her story wasn’t wavering from her report when she was first admitted. “Amanda, no one can defy gravity. And we all get pulled toward it.”
“I didn’t try to commit suicide,” Amanda whined.
The counselor tried another route. “Okay, so let’s look at what’s been going on in your life.” She referred to her notes. “Your mother passed away this year. You’re working two full-time jobs.” She looked up at Amanda. “It seems you have not allowed yourself enough time to grieve. You’re probably really depressed.”
“Yes, and I don’t deny that. I wish I could sleep all day. But I know I don’t want to die yet.” She swallowed, not really wanting to disclose this information but decided it was necessary. “I’ve had medical tests done when I was younger. I’m just different from everyone else.”
The counselor added another note to Amanda’s file. “This isn’t the first time you’ve been admitted for suicide.” She waited for an answer.
Amanda sighed in frustration. It was true. While taking her first bath by herself, she slipped underneath the water and couldn’t sit herself back up. She was lucky that her mother walked into the bathroom and found her there. Distraught, she took Amanda to the hospital. Everyone thought then, too, that she was suicidal.
After watching Amanda construe her thoughts, the counselor concluded, “I am going to prescribe to you some pills to help you through this troublesome time. And please quit one job, okay?”
Amanda was happy to be home. She tossed the pills that were prescribed to her, knowing they wouldn’t help. Every day it seemed that the gravitational pull seemed heavier. It was getting harder to walk and she now had a slight limp. Her hair was starting to turn gray and her eyes became sunken inside their sockets.
Losing her only job, she waited for the approval of her disability claim. As she never left the house, rumors spread quickly throughout the community that she was dying from severe depression. However, her only true ailment was from the natural gravitational pull that affected her like no one else.
Shortly after turning thirty, Amanda died in her sleep. The pressure of weight from her heart being vertically pulled every day, finally relented. When her body was discovered, she lay curled within her blanket, on the floor next to her bed. She looked peaceful and even younger in her eternal sleep.