Chapter 18
When I opened my eyes, the sun's rays were pouring in the small window at the back of the cabin and draping themselves rudely across my face. I squinted and sat up quickly, forgetting for a moment where I was. Wagna's cabin....but Wagna wasn't there. I looked around and saw several cups on the table and canisters strewn about.
I vaguely remembered Wagna waking me up the night before and gently sitting me up to drink the facion bark tea. Then he got me up a couple of other times to drink what he called druin tea, something that would absorb any water that might still be remaining in my body from the incident last night. It tasted really awful, worse than the facion bark, if possible, and now, because of its effects, I really, really needed the outhouse. I looked around and to my relief found my bag as well as Jalya's on the floor in the corner opposite to the wood stove.
I wrapped the blanket tightly around me and tried to stand, but my body quickly reminded me just how far I'd walked the day before. I crashed back down onto the cot, a prisoner of my stiff joints and aching muscles. Taking a deep breath, I tried again, but more slowly this time and successfully dragged myself across the room, one tiny, painful step at a time. I fell down next to my bag and rummaged through, making sure that everything was still in there.
The coins of amure! They'd been tied to the belt I wore under my shawl, next to my dress. In all the confusion last night, I'd forgotten to check if I still had them. My eyes scanned the small cabin frantically, but my dress and shawl were nowhere to be seen.
In a panic, I grabbed one of the dresses from my bag and put it on as fast as my sore limbs would allow. I shuffled over to the door and opened it to be met by a cold, biting wind. I looked around and saw no one near the cabin, though I could hear people talking and moving about just beyond the trees. As I scanned the land in front of me, I saw my dress and shawl hanging from a nearby tree branch. Relieved, I walked over to them, yet found no sign of my knife or the coins. No sign of Wagna either. That thief! I wondered how many other people he'd brought back to his secluded cabin to gain their trust and then rob them.
I disentangled my clothing from the tree, and, after making sure they were dry, brought them back to the cabin. I would repack, then take both bags and go find Jalya. Then I figured we'd have to find someone else who could drive us, and hope that the coins that Jalya had were enough to get us by.....if she still had hers.
I sulked as I stuffed my dress into my bag; one night out and we'd already managed to screw things up as much as we possibly could. I rubbed my head in an attempt to wipe away the left over facion bark grogginess and ran my hands through my tangled hair. Well, at least the headache was gone. Maybe today I'd be able to think more clearly.
After getting all of our things in order, I went around to the back of the cabin to relieve myself in the bushes. Just as I was finishing up, I heard voices coming from the pathway. I peeked around the side of the cabin, hoping to find someone that could help us with our journey. It was Wagna sauntering down the path with Jalya, who was looking pale and exhausted. Relief flooded through me and I felt a strange mixture of joy and anger. All the emotions that I'd been feeling for the last few days came bubbling to the surface and I could no longer hold them back. I bounded around the side of the building in giant strides, the stiffness in my legs finally easing up.
I don't think they even saw me coming before I attacked, with Wagna being the first victim. "Where the hell are my coins?! And my knife?" I threw the questions at him accusingly.
"Well..." he started to answer, but could not fit his words in before I kept ranting.
"And you," I rasped, turning to Jalya. "Where the hell have you been? You think it's smart to get drunk and run off with strange men? You want to end up like your father, is that it?" Jalya's face turned even whiter if possible and she turned away from me, kind of staggered over to the side of the cabin and collapsed on a fallen tree trunk, head in her hands.
"I think your friend there is going to understand your headaches a bit better from now on. Looks like she has a doozy," Wagna chortled.
I stared at him dumbfounded. "You didn't answer my question. Where's my bag of coins? I want it back now."
Wagna's face fell. "Oh, I got your amure alright," he said as he strode toward the cabin's door. He turned and pointed a finger at me before going inside. "You're acting mighty ungrateful there, Miss Emerin."
I looked over at Jalya, who was still cradling her sore head, then around at the trees. I guess I had been a little harsh. Especially considering the incredibly dumb escapade that I'd pulled off the night before. I was considering going over to apologize, when Wagna emerged from the house.
"Well, here ya go," he said, as he dropped my bag of coins and my knife at my feet. "Just like you left them, only a tad less wet, I'd imagine. I put them in my cabinet for safe keeping. Even spread out the coins on the shelf so they'd dry. Wouldn't want them to get all moldy in the bag."
"Thanks," I mumbled, embarrassed by my assumptions. I picked up the bag and knife and tucked them safely back under my belt, promising myself that from now on, I would not be so careless.
"Yeah, well, next time you're about to fire off on someone, you might want to give it a moment's thought first. I had to wash your dress last night. You didn't notice any puke left on it when you grabbed it from the tree, did you? No, I'm sure you didn't look...too angry I suppose. Well, I found your coins and knife and thought better of leaving them out here with all the drunken idiots.....no offense Jalya.......anyway, I'm ready to go whenever you girls are. Just gotta feed the horses first." He walked toward Shilly, who stood next to another horse at the side of the cabin.
"I'm sorry, Wagna," I said, as I followed him through the grass. "I guess I'm just a little overloaded emotionally...I just kind of snapped."
He turned and smiled at me while he fussed over the horses. "Forget it. We all have our moments. You probably more than others."
"What do you mean you're ready to go when we are?"
"Your friend there told me that you're looking for a ride. I have a wagon. It all works out."
"You're willing to take us?" I said, relief flowing through my chest.
"Wherever you need to go. There's no place that's too far or too wild for Wagna. I'm just itching for an excuse to get away from here for a while."
"What else did Jalya tell you?"
"Not much really, something about going to Warshar's Village, but that was about it. Didn't seem to be in a very talkative mood......too busy holding her head and moaning."
I smiled. "Just wait till she's feeling better."
Wagna looked over at Jalya, who still sat on the log. She'd finally lifted her head from her hands and was squinting into the sun dappled bushes. I felt bad for her.
"Her Dad a drunk?" he asked.
"Yeah, pretty much."
"Well, I know what that's like. Poor thing. When I'm done here, I'll make her some of that nasty tea. That'll help. You can tell her that when you go over to apologize."
"Oh, she's fine," I assured him. "I needed to say something to her about it....we have to be serious about what we're doing here. I need to be able to trust her not to do something stupid."
"You mean as stupid as wandering into a rushing river, hoping to just float across? Cuz in my books that wins the prize for empty-headed act of the night." Wagna looked at me with a combination of pity and amusement. "Now, I'll bet the worst thing that a person could say to Jalya is to compare her to her father. And looking at her this morning, I'm pretty sure that she's learned her lesson."
"She should have known better."
"Some lessons have to be learned the hard way, Emmy."
Emmy? I wasn't sure how I liked my new nickname, but decided to let it go. Wagna finished up with the horses and turned to go into the cabin and I made my way over to where Jalya sat. I felt empty inside and exhausted outside, like someone had tied me to a horse and dragged me twenty leagues. But no matter how bad I felt, Jalya looked
worse.
I sat down on the log next to her. "How are you feeling?" I asked stupidly.
"Like hell," she croaked.
"Well, Wagna's going to make you some facion bark tea. It'll help with the headache."
"Okay, good." She rubbed her head with both hands. "Don't think I've ever had one this bad. Can't even move my head. Now I know how you've been feeling."
I smiled at her. "I'm sorry, Jalya, you know, about what I just said."
"It's fine, Emerin. I know what I did." She looked down at her feet. "But I'm not going to turn out like him."
"I know you're not. It's just that I was scared last night when I couldn't find you. We have to be more careful from now on. You're not the only one who did a dumb thing last night."
Jalya turned her head slowly to look at me and forced a smile. "I know. Wagna told me." She stared at me for a moment and then asked the one tiny question that summed it all up. "Why?"
"I don't know, Jalya; I really don't. The feeling, the pull to go where I need to go, it's just so overwhelming. Lately, when it happens, I can't even think about anything else; can't even think straight at all. It's like I can't control what I'm doing, even if it's dangerous. Nothing else matters. It scares me, you know."
"Yeah, it scares me too."
"That's why I need you, Jalya. I need you to be sober and alert in case I try to do anything else stupid."
"I know, Emerin. I'm sorry...I wish I'd understood how bad it was. I mean, I should have understood; I've known you forever. I just.....I don't know what happened, but I know if I'd been there I could have stopped you...I mean what if......" She paused and I could see tears in her eyes. "I'm just grateful that Wagna was there."
"Yeah, me too."
We sat in silence for a moment, listening to the birds singing. I could still hear the rushing of the river somewhere to the left of me, but I no longer felt the compulsion to run to it. Quite the opposite, in fact. Hearing it reminded me of my ordeal last night, and made me feel a little queasy.
I was suddenly hit by the overwhelming desire to go home. I just wanted to go home and sleep in my bed and have my mother hold me. I wanted to eat at the table with my parents and play card games in the evening by the fire. Even marrying Callum didn't sound so bad now, boring and oppressive sure, but at least safe and secure. But I couldn't go back to that, even if I'd wanted to; it was too late; we'd gone too far. If we went back, we might both be sent to Lock Up. This was it; this was our life now. My heart raced and my chest ached.
"Jalya, do you miss home?" I asked.
"I do....I actually do. I didn't think I would, but I do. I even miss my father, believe it or not. But I really miss Ashel; I'm so worried, Emerin." She grabbed my hand and twisted her fingers between mine, squeezing them tightly.
"He'll be okay, Jalya. I'm sure of it. We'll find him soon." I took a deep breath and asked the question that had been on my mind since I sat down. "So, what happened last night...with Shale, I mean. You stayed with him all night?"
"Yes, I did, but that's really all I know....I don't remember much." She looked off into the woods as if trying to will back memories of the previous evening, and then sighed. "Nothing happened, at least I'm pretty sure. I mean I was at his parents’ house and when I woke up, my dress was still on. Shale was sleeping on the floor next to the bed that I was in. But....he woke up a few minutes after I did and got into bed with me and started kissing me. Then touching me everywhere and trying to unbutton my dress. I tried pushing him off of me but I couldn't..." She stopped abruptly, tears running down her face.
"So, what happened?" I urged. I felt insensitive rushing her, but I really wanted to know. "Did he stop....eventually?"
"Yes, he did." She smiled through her tears. "If I'd had a clearer head, I would have thought to reach for my knife or at least call for help, but instead I used the form of self-defense that comes easiest to one who's severely hung over.......I threw up on him."
I laughed. "Oh Jalya, you didn't....well, I bet that was a turn off."
"It certainly seemed to be," she chuckled softly. "When he went out to the water pump to clean himself up, that's when I kind of just sneaked out. Then Wagna found me sitting on a bench, groaning in pain, and brought me back here."
"Yep, she certainly was a sad sight." Wagna's gruff voice floated up from behind us. He carried a large mug of tea, which he handed to Jalya. She thanked him profusely and winced dramatically after the first sip. "Pretty awful stuff, ain't it? But it'll help the pain for sure." He turned to me. "What about you, Emmy; you still have a headache? You need any more of the vile weed?"
"Absolutely not," I chirped, happy to be able to say so. "Jalya can enjoy it all by herself this morning."
"Well, looks like I'd better pack some for the journey, what with the two of you along. I'll make us some breakfast for the road too. You gals make sure you got all your stuff together. We'll be leaving soon."
Jalya moaned. "Uuggh! I don't know what sounds worse, the thought of riding on a bumpy road, or the thought of breakfast." She took another sip of her tea and tried to swallow it without making a face. "Honestly, Emerin, I don't think that I've ever felt this horrible."
"Well, I hope you remember that the next time we encounter a good looking guy."
"He was really attractive, wasn't he?" She smiled genuinely this time.
"Yeah, yeah."
"Emerin this stuff is making me really sleepy."
I looked over and saw that she'd finished her tea and the lids of her eyes were drooping. "Come on," I said. "Let's get you to the wagon before you pass out." I stood up and helped her to her feet. "Are you feeling better though?"
"Woooeee, I'm feeling pretty good now! This stuff is great...should've just had this instead of that crap I drank last night." Jalya chuckled heartily then staggered on the uneven ground. I held her tightly by the arm and led her to the wagon where Wagna was waiting.
"Experiencing a whole different kind of inebriation now, eh honey?" He laughed as he helped me load Jalya into the wagon. It was large with an open front and a back covered in brown canvas that looked like Wagna had just sewn a bunch of grain sacks together. He led her behind the seats and under the covering, where he lay her down on a stack of blankets and animal skins that he'd fashioned into somewhat of a bed.
"Goodnight," Jalya said, as she snuggled into the bedding. I watched as she adjusted her shawl and turned herself into a comfortable position, noting with relief that her knife and satchel of coins were still in place. We were both going to have to be more careful from now on.
Wagna stared at her thoughtfully. "I sure hope she doesn't throw up in my wagon," he snorted.
"Me too," I said. I hopped down off the wagon and landed with an ungraceful thud on the ground. I would have to get used to the height of the thing. "I'm going inside to get our bags."
He nodded silently as he finished hitching up the horses. As I walked back to the cabin, I listened intently to the rush of the river in the distance, yet I still felt nothing. If my bei clu va had been there last night, I was certain that he was gone now. I wondered if he had passed the night in the same state that I had. Or maybe I was just wrong about my feelings; maybe I had imagined it all; maybe I really was crazy. My memories from last night were all blurred together in a giant swirling mess, and I didn't trust myself to know what was real and what wasn't. All I knew was that now I felt fine, good even, so I didn't want to worry about anything. I made sure that our things were securely packed in our bags and left the cabin, closing the door tightly behind me.
As I walked back, I could hear whispering and feel eyes staring at me from through the bushes, but I tried my best not to look in their direction. I certainly did not want to provoke a conversation that would delay us further. I wondered why none of them came over though, just hid behind the bushes like a bunch of scared children.
When I got back to the wagon, Wagna was already sitting in the driver's chair, staring off into the bushes, or rather gla
ring into them from beneath the brim of his hat. I smiled, realizing why the villagers didn't want to come over. I wouldn't have felt welcome if I saw him looking at me like that either. When he saw me, however, his face relaxed, and he forced a grin.
"Well come on up," he said, with obvious tension in his voice. He took the bags and placed them in the back with Jalya, then offered me his hand to help me up. I settled myself into the seat next to him, watching the bushes uneasily.
"They sure are curious," I mused.
"If by curious, you mean stupid, then yeah, I'd say so. Let's get outta here before one of them gets curious enough to come over here. We don't have time to waste feeding the gossip mill."
"Agreed," I said, anxious to get on our way. Wagna slapped the reigns gently, urging the horses into motion. They turned in a small circle to face the path and then walked gracefully out from behind the bushes. As we emerged, we saw about twenty people standing around on the other side, watching us pass. Wagna nodded to them in semi-politeness as we rolled past, along the pathway that would take us out of Sandoff's Village.
"Now you've met Shilly already," he said in a much more lighthearted voice. "And this lovely lady here is Vella." He held out his hand to indicate the horse to Shilly's right, who trotted cheerfully in front of me. In all the emotional confusion of the morning, I'd barely even noticed Shilly, much less the other horse. Her white fur was dappled with muted grey splotches that spread across her back like she'd been sprayed with something. She stood in stark contrast to Shilly's rich chestnut body and nearly black mane.
"Shilly's spirited, but Vella's the sweet one," Wagna continued. Shilly whinnied in response. "Well now you know it's true, sweetheart. You can be a little hard to handle." He turned toward me. "You'll come to see it for yourself soon enough...totally different personalities. Just like you and your friend back there."
I looked back at Jalya to see if she was still sleeping. If she reacted to facion bark anything like I did, she'd be out for quite a while.
Wagna poked me in the arm with something, and I turned back to see a slice of bread being thrust toward my face. It was smeared thickly with a strange white substance.
"Thanks," I said and stared at it, trying to figure out what I was about to eat.
"It's goat cheese. Sandoff's Village specialty.....one of the only good things about this place."
I bit into the bread. It was good and I gobbled it down, suddenly realizing just how hungry I was.
"Now I was just joking last night about Shilly kicking me. She'd never hurt me, but she's done a lot of damage to other people that have gotten in her way, let me tell you. Now there was this one guy in Hatchel's Village, he tried to steal some food from my wagon....well he's got no more teeth to chew his food with, thanks to Shilly." He laughed as he continued with his story. "And one time, in Nebril City, there were four guys; she broke them up pretty badly; one still uses a cane I think, and the others, oh, you should've seen what she did to the others......"
As Wagna regaled me with tales of Shilly, I watched the tall grass of the meadow fly by. I waved at Shaved Head and Ponytail, who were both at their posts now, one on either side of the clearing. I looked back at the village and saw people straggling about, seemingly preparing for a day's work. I wondered what the other villages would be like, if everywhere would seem so foreign and everyone would seem so different. How strange and exotic would my bei clu va seem to me? But then again different could be good, even exciting. And sometimes different worked well together, like Jalya and me, and apparently like Vella and Shilly.
For two animals with such contrasting looks and personalities, they certainly made a very good team, trotting together harmoniously, pulling the wagon with perfect fluidity, as if they were one. They pulled us under the canopy of trees and back into the forest, where we turned left onto the rocky pathway that would lead us even further from our home. I took a deep breath and tried to keep my fear in check as we rocked and jostled our way into the unknown.