CHAPTER XXIV Liddell till now, except in Doric lays, Tuned to her murmurs by her love-sick swains, Unknown in song, though not a purer stream Rolls towards the western main
Art of Preserving Health.
The present store-farmers of the south of Scotland are a much morerefined race than their fathers, and the manners I am now to describehave either altogether disappeared or are greatly modified. Withoutlosing the rural simplicity of manners, they now cultivate arts unknownto the former generation, not only in the progressive improvement oftheir possessions but in all the comforts of life. Their houses are morecommodious, their habits of life regulated so as better to keep pace withthose of the civilised world, and the best of luxuries, the luxury ofknowledge, has gained much ground among their hills during the lastthirty years. Deep drinking, formerly their greatest failing, is now fastlosing ground; and, while the frankness of their extensive hospitalitycontinues the same, it is, generally speaking, refined in its characterand restrained in its excesses.
'Deil's in the wife,' said Dandie Dinmont, shaking off his spouse'sembrace, but gently and with a look of great affection; 'deil's in ye,Ailie; d'ye no see the stranger gentleman?'
Ailie turned to make her apology--'Troth, I was sae weel pleased to seethe gudeman, that--but, gude gracious! what's the matter wi' ye baith?'for they were now in her little parlour, and the candle showed thestreaks of blood which Dinmont's wounded head had plentifully imparted tothe clothes of his companion as well as to his own. 'Ye've been fightingagain, Dandie, wi' some o' the Bewcastle horse-coupers! Wow, man, amarried man, wi' a bonny family like yours, should ken better what afather's life's worth in the warld'; the tears stood in the good woman'seyes as she spoke.
'Whisht! whisht! gudewife,' said her husband, with a smack that had muchmore affection than ceremony in it; 'never mind, never mind; there's agentleman that will tell you that, just when I had ga'en up to LourieLowther's, and had bidden the drinking of twa cheerers, and gotten justin again upon the moss, and was whigging cannily awa hame, twalandloupers jumpit out of a peat-hag on me or I was thinking, and got medown, and knevelled me sair aneuch, or I could gar my whip walk abouttheir lugs; and troth, gudewife, if this honest gentleman hadna come up,I would have gotten mair licks than I like, and lost mair siller than Icould weel spare; so ye maun be thankful to him for it, under God.' Withthat he drew from his side-pocket a large greasy leather pocket-book, andbade the gudewife lock it up in her kist.
'God bless the gentleman, and e'en God bless him wi' a' my heart; butwhat can we do for him, but to gie him the meat and quarters we wadnarefuse to the poorest body on earth--unless (her eye directed to thepocketbook, but with a feeling of natural propriety which made theinference the most delicate possible), unless there was ony other way--'Brown saw, and estimated at its due rate, the mixture of simplicity andgrateful generosity which took the downright way of expressing itself,yet qualified with so much delicacy; he was aware his own appearance,plain at best, and now torn and spattered with blood, made him an objectof pity at least, and perhaps of charity. He hastened to say his name wasBrown, a captain in the----regiment of cavalry, travelling for pleasure,and on foot, both from motives of independence and economy; and he beggedhis kind landlady would look at her husband's wounds, the state of whichhe had refused to permit him to examine. Mrs. Dinmont was used to herhusband's broken heads more than to the presence of a captain ofdragoons. She therefore glanced at a table-cloth not quite clean, andconned over her proposed supper a minute or two, before, patting herhusband on the shoulder, she bade him sit down for 'a hard-headed loon,that was aye bringing himsell and other folk into collie-shangies.'
When Dandie Dinmont, after executing two or three caprioles, and cuttingthe Highland fling, by way of ridicule of his wife's anxiety, at lastdeigned to sit down and commit his round, black, shaggy bullet of a headto her inspection, Brown thought he had seen the regimental surgeon lookgrave upon a more trifling case. The gudewife, however, showed someknowledge of chirurgery; she cut away with her scissors the gory lockswhose stiffened and coagulated clusters interfered with her operations,and clapped on the wound some lint besmeared with a vulnerary salve,esteemed sovereign by the whole dale (which afforded upon fair nightsconsiderable experience of such cases); she then fixed her plaster with abandage, and, spite of her patient's resistance, pulled over all anight-cap, to keep everything in its right place. Some contusions on thebrow and shoulders she fomented with brandy, which the patient did notpermit till the medicine had paid a heavy toll to his mouth. Mrs. Dinmontthen simply, but kindly, offered her assistance to Brown.
He assured her he had no occasion for anything but the accommodation of abasin and towel.
'And that's what I should have thought of sooner,' she said; 'and I didthink o't, but I durst na open the door, for there's a' the bairns, poorthings, sae keen to see their father.'
This explained a great drumming and whining at the door of the littleparlour, which had somewhat surprised Brown, though his kind landlady hadonly noticed it by fastening the bolt as soon as she heard it begin. Buton her opening the door to seek the basin and towel (for she neverthought of showing the guest to a separate room), a whole tide ofwhite-headed urchins streamed in, some from the stable, where they hadbeen seeing Dumple, and giving him a welcome home with part of theirfour-hours scones; others from the kitchen, where they had been listeningto old Elspeth's tales and ballads; and the youngest, half-naked, out ofbed, all roaring to see daddy, and to inquire what he had brought homefor them from the various fairs he had visited in his peregrinations. Ourknight of the broken head first kissed and hugged them all round, thendistributed whistles, penny-trumpets, and gingerbread, and, lastly, whenthe tumult of their joy and welcome got beyond bearing, exclaimed to hisguest--'This is a' the gude-wife's fault, Captain; she will gie thebairns a' their ain way.'
'Me! Lord help me,' said Ailie, who at that instant entered with thebasin and ewer, 'how can I help it? I have naething else to gie them,poor things!'
Dinmont then exerted himself, and, between coaxing, threats, and shoving,cleared the room of all the intruders excepting a boy and girl, the twoeldest of the family, who could, as he observed, behave themselves'distinctly.' For the same reason, but with less ceremony, all the dogswere kicked out excepting the venerable patriarchs, old Pepper andMustard, whom frequent castigation and the advance of years had inspiredwith such a share of passive hospitality that, after mutual explanationand remonstrance in the shape of some growling, they admitted Wasp, whohad hitherto judged it safe to keep beneath his master's chair, to ashare of a dried-wedder's skin, which, with the wool uppermost andunshorn, served all the purposes of a Bristol hearth-rug.
The active bustle of the mistress (so she was called in the kitchen, andthe gudewife in the parlour) had already signed the fate of a couple offowls, which, for want of time to dress them otherwise, soon appearedreeking from the gridiron, or brander, as Mrs. Dinmont denominated it. Ahuge piece of cold beef-ham, eggs, butter, cakes, and barley-mealbannocks in plenty made up the entertainment, which was to be dilutedwith home-brewed ale of excellent quality and a case-bottle of brandy.Few soldiers would find fault with such cheer after a day's hard exerciseand a skirmish to boot; accordingly Brown did great honour to theeatables. While the gudewife partly aided, partly instructed, a greatstout servant girl, with cheeks as red as her top-knot, to remove thesupper matters and supply sugar and hot water (which, in the damsel'sanxiety to gaze upon an actual live captain, she was in some danger offorgetting), Brown took an opportunity to ask his host whether he did notrepent of having neglected the gipsy's hint.
'Wha kens?' answered he; 'they're queer deevils; maybe I might just have'scaped ae gang to meet the other. And yet I 'll no say that neither; forif that randy wife was coming to Charlie's Hope, she should have a pintbottle o' brandy and a pound o' tobacco to wear her through the winter.They're queer deevils; as my auld father used to say, they're warst wherethey're warst guided. After a', there's bai
th gude and ill about thegipsies.'
This, and some other desultory conversation, served as a 'shoeing-horn'to draw on another cup of ale and another 'cheerer,' as Dinmont termed itin his country phrase, of brandy and water. Brown then resolutelydeclined all further conviviality for that evening, pleading his ownweariness and the effects of the skirmish, being well aware that it wouldhave availed nothing to have remonstrated with his host on the dangerthat excess might have occasioned to his own raw wound and bloodycoxcomb. A very small bed-room, but a very clean bed, received thetraveller, and the sheets made good the courteous vaunt of the hostess,'that they would be as pleasant as he could find ony gate, for they werewashed wi' the fairy-well water, and bleached on the bonny white gowans,and bittled by Nelly and herself, and what could woman, if she was aqueen, do mair for them?'
They indeed rivalled snow in whiteness, and had, besides, a pleasantfragrance from the manner in which they had been bleached. Little Wasp,after licking his master's hand to ask leave, couched himself on thecoverlet at his feet; and the traveller's senses were soon lost ingrateful oblivion.