Read H. I. V. E.: Higher Institute of Villainous Education Page 12

‘Sir, yes sir!’ the students replied in unison.

  The Colonel gave them an evil grin. ‘I hope so, for your sakes, because next time there might be something hungry in the water. Class dismissed.’

  ‘But if you move the quantum phase inverter it’ll cause a catastrophic feedback loop.’

  ‘Not if it’s positioned before the induction array, it won’t.’

  Otto stared at the circuit diagram in front of him; the conversation with Laura was strangely exciting. He’d never met someone before who could argue so knowledgeably about complex technical issues, so it was refreshing to have this sort of discussion with someone who understood the ins and outs of advanced digital electronics. When Professor Pike had first announced that they would be partnered together for their Practical Technology lesson he had been worried that she would slow him down, but he was now realising that she was just as knowledgeable on the subject as he was, perhaps even more so. He was thoroughly enjoying their discussion of how the circuit diagram they had been given to study could be improved. Of course the test that they had been set had been only to spot the glaringly obvious errors in the design, but they had found all of those within the first two minutes.

  The same could not be said for any of the other pairs of students seated at the workbenches around the room, who seemed to be struggling to understand the complex diagram that Professor Pike had handed out. He was certainly the least organised teacher that they had met so far; he had even arrived five minutes late. His scruffy unkempt appearance had changed little since Otto had first spotted him at the teachers’ dining table. Otto suspected that he may even be wearing the exact same clothes that he had been the previous day. His stained white coat was worn over a battered tweed suit and his wild white hair looked as if it had never had more than a passing acquaintance with a brush. When he had hurried into the room he had been carrying a large pile of papers and books which he had unceremoniously dumped on to his desk, adding to the chaotic mess that was already present. He had not even introduced himself, but simply distributed the erroneous circuit diagrams before returning to his desk and studying the papers he had brought with him to the lesson.

  Otto got the distinct impression that the students were a rather annoying distraction to the Professor, and that the exercise had been chosen because it would be time-consuming rather than particularly educational. At the very least it had given him a chance to talk properly to Laura. Wing, meanwhile, had been partnered with Nigel, and the pair of them seemed to be making little if any headway with the problem the Professor had presented to them. A couple of the students had complained that they really didn’t understand the first thing about the diagram, but the Professor had told them that they should be more than capable of solving it and to try their best. To Otto, the diagram seemed to be part of a focusing system for an energy beam but, separated from its other components, it was impossible to tell what purpose it might serve beyond that.

  ‘It could be part of one of those sleeper guns,’ Laura mused, ‘but the power output seems too high for that.’

  Otto nodded. ‘Whatever it is I reckon it’d be best not to be standing in front of it when it’s activated.’

  Laura smiled. ‘Or possibly even on the same continent.’

  Given some of the weapons that had been hinted at in their Villainy Studies lesson, this was probably no exaggeration.

  ‘Fairly advanced stuff for our first day, though, wouldn’t you say?’ Laura continued, looking at the confused expressions on the faces of those around them.

  ‘Maybe, but you don’t seem to have much problem with it,’ Otto observed.

  ‘No, but this is what I’m best at – computers, electronics, that kind of thing. All the same, this design is highly advanced; it’s a bit like giving someone Rachmaninoff to play at their first piano lesson, isn’t it?’

  Otto nodded. It was an unusually difficult challenge to be set in the first lesson, especially given that many of the other students in the class might never have had any experience with sophisticated electronics like this before. It was probably another one of H.I.V.E.’s tests, the technical equivalent of grappling over a chasm.

  The Professor seemed hardly to notice that the class was taking place at all, continuing instead to study the documents he had brought with him to the lesson. The chaos on his desk was reflected in the rest of the classroom. It seemed as if every spare inch of space was taken up with bizarre unidentifiable devices or piles of paper. Behind the desk was a blackboard with ‘DO NOT ERASE’ written across the top in large block capitals. Beneath this firm instruction, filling every spare inch of the board, was an incredibly complex equation that Otto had lost track of after a couple of lines when it had delved into areas of mathematics with which he was unfamiliar. Clearly the Professor had a lot on his mind.

  ‘So, did you get anything out of Shelby?’ Otto asked Laura quietly.

  Laura had sat chatting with Shelby at lunch, her impatience with her shower-hogging room-mate clearly forgotten after her display in the Tactical Education lesson that morning.

  ‘No, she just said that she’d been a gymnast at school before she came here, and that it had seemed easy.’ Laura’s expression made it clear that she was less than satisfied with this explanation.

  ‘Right, because normal gym lessons often include that kind of exercise, don’t they?’ Otto was as sceptical as Laura that this was a plausible explanation for Shelby’s earlier performance.

  ‘Well, I couldn’t get anything else out of her. She just acted like it was perfectly normal and then changed the subject. I’ll see if I can find out more this evening.’ Laura looked over at Shelby, who was partnered with another girl on the other side of the room.

  ‘Speaking of secrets, what did you do that caught H.I.V.E.’s attention?’ Otto asked casually, still looking at the circuit diagram.

  ‘Oh, I don’t really know . . . er . . . is that a waveshift resistor?’ Laura’s clumsy attempt to change the subject could not hide the fact that her cheeks had suddenly turned red.

  ‘No, it’s a phase-alignment resistor.’ Otto wasn’t about to let her off the hook that easily. ‘You must have some clue.’

  ‘I could ask you the same question,’ she replied softly.

  ‘I asked you first.’ Otto smiled at her and her cheeks went a slightly deeper shade of crimson.

  ‘OK, but you have to promise not to tell anyone, and you have to tell me what landed you here as well,’ she replied, giving him a serious look.

  ‘It’s a deal. So?’

  ‘Well, it was nothing really. You see, there was this girl, Mandy McTavish, at my old school, and I thought she was bitching about me behind my back but I didn’t know what she was telling people. So I just listened in to a couple of her conversations on her mobile.’ Laura looked slightly uncomfortable, and Otto knew that there had to be more to it than that.

  ‘So H.I.V.E. recruited you because you eavesdropped on this girl? That’s all?’

  ‘Well, I didn’t actually have the equipment I needed to listen in on her, so I had to borrow some.’

  ‘Borrow?’

  ‘Sort of. You see, there was an American air force base near our village and I used some of their equipment.’

  ‘You broke into an air force base?’ Otto couldn’t keep the note of surprise from his voice.

  ‘Not exactly. I just faked a security clearance and hacked into their computer network.’ She looked even more embarrassed. ‘They always had a couple of those AWACS early warning planes in the air and I just gave them some new surveillance orders for a few days, that’s all.’

  Otto grinned at her. ‘Are you telling me that you used part of the nuclear attack early warning system to listen in on this girl gossiping about you?’

  ‘I knew you’d think it was stupid,’ she replied miserably. ‘You promise not to tell anyone?’

  ‘Of course.’ Far from thinking she was stupid Otto was, in fact, deeply impressed. The systems controlling the tasking of those
planes would have had some of the most sophisticated anti-intrusion software in the world. It was easy to see why H.I.V.E. had taken such an interest in Laura. ‘That’s amazing, you shouldn’t be embarrassed about it.’

  She smiled sheepishly. ‘I thought I’d covered my tracks, but obviously someone noticed what I was up to and I suppose that’s how I ended up here.’ Otto could tell from the way that she said it that she was as keen to get out of this place as he was. That could be useful – for the escape plan that was forming in his head to be successful he might need someone with Laura’s talents.

  ‘You sound like you’d like to get off this rock,’ he whispered, ‘I know how you feel.’ He gave her a meaningful look.

  ‘Do you have something in mind?’ she asked quietly, pretending to study the diagram again.

  ‘Perhaps. It’s risky though.’ Otto glanced up at the Professor but he was still studying the papers on his desk intently.

  ‘No riskier than trying to survive in this place for the next few years,’ she replied.

  ‘OK, we’ll talk later when it’s a little more private.’ There were too many ears in this room for him to say anything else. They might want to get off the island but that didn’t mean that every student in the class felt the same way. They had to be cautious.

  ‘OK,’ Laura smiled at him. ‘So what’s your story, Otto? Come on, a deal’s a deal.’

  Otto hadn’t really wanted to talk to anyone about this – he hadn’t even discussed it with Wing – but he felt as if he could trust Laura not to tell anyone. Besides, she had the most striking green eyes he’d ever seen . . .

  ‘Well, let’s just say that the Prime Minister’s funny turn a couple of days ago didn’t come as any surprise to me . . .’ He smiled as her eyes widened.

  ‘That was you?’ Laura’s incredulous expression seemed to suggest that she found it hard to believe that Otto was the one responsible for the Prime Minister’s involuntary resignation.

  ‘Our secret, right?’ Otto reminded her.

  ‘Yeah, but how did you –’

  ‘OK, time’s up. Please bring your papers to my desk.’ The Professor interrupted her question.

  Otto picked up the diagram. ‘I can be very persuasive when I want to be.’ He was secretly delighted by the expression of shock on her face; he never normally got to share the details of his schemes with others. It was pointless to increase the chance of getting caught by boasting about his successes, but he knew that in this particular case it was a bit late to be worrying too much about that.

  Otto walked up to the Professor’s desk with their corrected circuit diagram. As he approached, the Professor looked up, a slightly confused expression on his face.

  ‘Aren’t you a little short for a final year student?’ he asked, looking Otto up and down.

  ‘Er . . . we’re not final-year students, Professor, we’re first years,’ Otto replied, unsure as to what the Professor meant.

  ‘But this is the advanced tech class. What are first years doing in my advanced tech class?’ The Professor looked closely at the pips on Otto’s collar. ‘Oh dear.’ He pulled a battered piece of paper from one of his lab coat pockets and examined it. ‘Ah, yes, it would appear that my timetable is somewhat out of date. So you’re first years, eh? I didn’t think that I recognised many of you.’ Clearly the chaotic mess in the lab was a reflection of its occupant’s personality.

  Otto handed the diagram to the Professor, aware that he and Laura probably shouldn’t have been able to complete it. He certainly wished that they hadn’t drawn the improved designs on the back.

  ‘Yes, that exercise was probably a bit advanced for you. Sorry about that.’ The Professor took the diagram and examined it closely. ‘Still, you appear to have done rather well, Mr . . .?’

  ‘Malpense, sir. Otto Malpense, and my partner Laura helped me a great deal with the exercise.’

  ‘This really is quite excellent. I’d never considered using a variable phase array before, but it could work, yes.’ The Professor appeared more interested in their suggested modifications to the design than enquiring about their ability to complete such an advanced challenge.

  As the Professor studied the diagram Otto glanced down at the other papers strewn about his desk. He felt his heart jump as he realised what he was looking at. Those were blueprints of the school! He stared intently at the upside-down plans, committing them to memory in a fraction of a second. He closed his eyes briefly and could still see the blueprints in his mind’s eye as clearly as if he had photographed them. This could be the break that they needed. He looked at some of the other papers on the desk. One in particular caught his attention, entitled ‘Mk.2 Consciousness Transfer Device’, but the details of the design were hidden under another sheet of paper.

  Suddenly the Professor glanced back up at Otto, noticing him looking at the plans on his desk. He turned the blueprints over without saying anything and looked at Otto carefully.

  ‘Well, this is rather a nuisance. I should have started with the basic tech course today, but by the looks of this diagram that might be a little bit simple for you two, wouldn’t you say?’ The Professor had the appearance of being scatterbrained, but Otto knew that it would be foolish to underestimate the man, all the same.

  ‘Oh, I’m sure that we need to learn the basics too, Professor,’ Otto replied carefully.

  ‘Indeed you do, Otto, indeed you do.’ The Professor’s eyes narrowed slightly and Otto thought he saw a hint of a quite different side to the bumbling persona that the Professor projected. ‘Let’s see how the others have done, shall we?’ Otto suddenly found himself wondering if it was an accident at all that they’d been given this advanced test. He wished that he and Laura had not completed the exercise so thoroughly; standing out from the crowd was probably not a good idea at H.I.V.E.

  Other students were now approaching the desk with their papers, and it quickly became clear that Otto and Laura were the only pair who had made any progress with the test. The Professor was profuse in his apologies for the apparent misunderstanding and reassured the class that subsequent lessons would not be quite so challenging, much to the obvious relief of the class.

  When Otto returned to their workbench Laura asked him how they had done with the exercise. He noticed that the Professor was watching them both closely.

  ‘We did well,’ he answered, ‘perhaps a little too well.’

  .

  Chapter Ten

  It had been a long day for the new students and it was with some relief that they now headed to their final scheduled lesson, Stealth and Evasion. It had been quite unlike any school day that they had experienced before and Otto found himself wondering if every day would be as unconventional as this or if they’d just been given an educational baptism of fire.

  The students filed through the doors into a lecture theatre with rows of banked seating. There was no sign of the teacher, Ms Leon, but Otto did at least now know who the pampered cat that he had seen at lunch the previous day belonged to. The fluffy white cat lay curled on the desk at the front of the room, apparently sleeping, oblivious to the presence of the Alpha students.

  After a minute or two all of the class had sat down and were talking amongst themselves, waiting for the teacher to arrive. The noise had obviously disturbed the cat, who stood up and stretched on the front desk, fixing the assembled children with an inquisitive look.

  ‘Good afternoon, children.’ The woman’s voice had a French accent and seemed to be coming from the front of the room, but there was still no sign of the teacher. Everyone fell silent, curious as to where this disembodied voice was coming from.

  ‘My name is Ms Leon. Welcome to your first Stealth and Evasion lesson.’

  Otto and Wing looked at each other in amazement. The voice was coming from the cat!

  ‘You will have to excuse my present condition. Suffice to say that Professor Pike’s initial experiments imbuing humans with the abilities of certain animals have not been as successful as
he might have liked. I believe that he would describe it as semi-permanent consciousness transfer, but the simpler explanation is that, thanks to technology that was rather more experimental than I was led to believe, I am now resident in this body while my rather confused cat is enjoying the use of opposable thumbs for the first time.’

  Over the past two days Otto had seen any number of strange things, but this was on an altogether different plane of strangeness. Mouths were hanging open in shock all around the room.

  ‘Judging by your expressions you find this a little unusual, but let me assure you that your shock is fairly minor in comparison to waking up for the first time with a tail. That sort of thing can ruin your whole day. The good Professor assures me that he will, in time, be able to reverse the process, but for the moment you will all have to get used to my current form. Which, strangely, does have its advantages.’ With that, the cat sprang two metres from the desk at the front of the room and landed flawlessly on a tall stool that was positioned in front of the students.

  ‘The purpose of this class is quite simple: to teach you how to remain unseen by those who would seek you out, how to move and act silently – a discipline that will doubtless be of use to you in the years to come. By the time this course is complete you should be able to move unnoticed through even the most highly secured environments.’

  Judging by the expressions on most of the students’ faces, they were still trying to accept the fact that a cat was talking to them, rather than wondering exactly what these lessons would teach them. Otto had noticed that when Ms Leon had been addressing the class the cat’s mouth had not been moving, and he was curious to know how exactly she was managing to speak to them at all. He looked at the sparkling jewelled collar that the cat was wearing and saw that what he had originally taken to be a bright blue jewel at her throat was actually a blue LED. He guessed that it must actually be some kind of speech synthesis unit, and that H.I.V.E.mind was probably playing a significant part in providing her with a voice.