“He’s only mostly dead.”
She wrenched her head around to see Azagoth striding toward them, a trail of griminions on his heels.
“M-mostly dead?”
“Haven’t you ever seen The Princess Bride?”
It took her a second to realize he was making a joke. Mr. Serious, the Grim Fucking Reaper, was joking.
The opening in the wall must lead to an alternate reality.
The griminions gathered up the human and scurried back through the doorway where Lilliana was waiting.
“Come on,” she called out. “Leave Hades to Azagoth.”
Cat hesitated, and when Azagoth barked out a curt, “Go,” some secret, dark part of her rebelled. She’d just spent what was likely days in a hell dimension with a male who wanted her, a male she wanted, and the person who was keeping them apart wanted her to leave.
Screw that.
She held Hades tighter and boldly met Azagoth’s gaze. “I’m staying.”
Azagoth’s eyes glittered, but his voice was calm. “What I’m about to do won’t work if I’m not alone with him, so if you want him to live, you’ll go.”
Lilliana held out her hand. “Trust him.”
Swallowing dryly, Cat nodded. Very gently, she eased Hades’s head onto the ground, stroked her hand over his hair, and said a silent good-bye.
Why was this so hard?
“Azagoth,” she croaked. “The human and I…the demons enchanted us, and unless it’s broken—”
He cut her off with a brisk hand gesture. “Whatever was done to you will lose its power when you leave the Inner Sanctum. So go. Now.”
Sensing he’d reached the limits of his patience with her, she reluctantly shoved to her feet. She managed to keep it together until she was inside Azagoth’s office. The moment the door closed, she started bawling, and Lilliana pulled her into a hug.
“I’m so glad you’re okay,” Lilliana said, and was she crying too? “I knew something was wrong days ago, and then when we tried to operate the doorway to the Inner Sanctum and it wouldn’t work, we feared the worst.” She pulled back just enough to eye Cat, as if making sure it was really her, and then she hugged her again. And yes, she was crying.
“I’m sorry,” she murmured into Lilliana’s shoulder. “I screwed up, and when I tried to fix it, I only made things worse.”
“It’s okay,” Lilliana said. “We can hash it out later.” She wrapped her arm around Cat’s shoulders and guided her toward the door. “Let’s get you cleaned up and fed. You must be exhausted.”
Cat cranked her head around to the closed portal door. “But Hades––”
“There’s nothing you can do for him. Azagoth will update us when he can.”
Cat wanted to argue, to rail against being led away, but Lilliana was right. “What about the human?” she asked as they walked toward her quarters. “What happened to him?”
“The griminions took him to the human realm where he’ll be met by angels and escorted to Heaven.”
Good. When most humans died, their souls crossed over to the Other Side on their own, but this poor guy had gone through the worst nightmare imaginable, and if anyone deserved a Heavenly escort, it was him. He’d definitely be sent to a Special Care Unit where humans who died as a result of trauma went to allow them time to adjust. Cat had a feeling he’d need an eternity. She just wished she could do more for him.
Cat was so lost in guilt and worry about Hades that she barely noticed when they arrived at her small apartment. The fragrance of her homemade crisp apple potpourri snapped her out of her daze, and she wasted no time in showering off the remains of the Inner Sanctum. She tried not to think about the fact that Hades was part of that. Gone was the smoky scent of him on her skin. Gone was his touch. His kisses.
She tried not to cry again as she dried off and dressed.
When she was finished, Lilliana was waiting with a tray of food and a pot of hot tea.
“Thank you,” Cat said as she took a seat. The food looked amazing, but she couldn’t eat. Not until she knew Hades was okay. “It’s weird to have you serve me.”
“It’s what friends do,” Lilliana said. “Also, Azagoth sent word that Hades is fine.” Cat nearly slid off her chair in relief. “Like he said, Hades was only mostly dead.” She grinned. “I’ve made Azagoth watch The Princess Bride about a million times now. He bitches and moans, but he laughs every time.”
That was hard to imagine. “What does ‘mostly’ dead mean?”
“It means that Hades was killed, but griminions grabbed his soul and brought it straight to Azagoth.” Lilliana shoved a cup of tea at Cat. “If Azagoth can get a soul to a body fast enough, he can sort of...reinstall and jumpstart.” At what must have been Cat’s expression of amazement, Lilliana nodded. “Yeah, I didn’t know about that until today, either.” She propped her elbows on the table and leaned in, her amber eyes glowing with curiosity. “So. What’s going on between you and Hades?”
Cat wasn’t going to bother asking how Lilliana knew. It was probably written all over her face. She stalled for time though, sipping her tea until Lilliana tapped her fingers impatiently on the table.
“Nothing,” Cat finally sighed. “There’s absolutely nothing going on with Hades.” Saying those words made her heart hurt far more than she would ever have suspected.
“Why? Doesn’t he share your feelings?”
“That’s not the problem.” Man, she was tired. She shuffled to the bed and sank down on the edge of the mattress. “The problem is your mate.”
Lilliana’s hand froze as she reached for a grape on the platter of food. “What do you mean?”
“You should probably ask him.” Cat’s lids grew heavy, and she felt herself sway. “Why am I so sleepy?”
“The tea.” Lilliana helped ease Cat back on the bed. “It’s made from Sora root. It’ll help you rest.”
Rest would be good. Maybe in her dreams she and Hades could finally be together.
* * * *
The thing about dying was that it made a guy think about his life. What he’d done with it. What he could potentially do with it in the future. And as an immortal, Hades’s future could be really long. And really lonely.
The thought of living one more day the way he’d lived the last five thousand years made him want to throw up as he prowled the length of his crypt until he swore the soles of his boots cried out for mercy.
Azagoth had left him hours ago with all kinds of assurances that Cat wouldn’t be harshly punished for what she’d done. But Azagoth’s idea of “harsh” was a lot different from Hades’s. Well, not usually, but for Cat, definitely.
Hades just hoped Azagoth hadn’t suspected that anything had gone on between them. Technically, Hades hadn’t gone against Azagoth’s orders, but the Grim Reaper wasn’t a fan of technicalities. And if he did anything to punish Cat for what Hades had done, Hades would fight that bastard until he was too dead to fix.
Snarling, Hades threw his fist into the wall. Never, not in his entire life, had he felt this way about a female. Hell, he hadn’t felt this way about anything. Oh, he’d always been passionate about meting out justice, but this was a different kind of passion. This was an all-consuming desire to be with someone. To be something better for that someone.
He hadn’t known Cat for long, but in their brief time together, he’d shared things he’d always kept private. He’d given comfort and had been comforted. He’d wanted, and he’d been wanted back.
She wants to go back to Heaven, idiot.
Yeah, then there was that. The chances of going back were extremely slim, given that in all of angelic existence, only a handful of fallen angels had been offered the opportunity. But just the fact that she wanted to go was troubling.
Oh, he understood. Who would choose to live in the grim darkness of the underworld when they could flit around in light and luxury? But dammit, Cat was wanted down here. Could he make her see that?
Closing his eyes, he braced his foreh
ead on the cool stone wall he’d just punched. Pain wracked him and not just because he’d broken bones in his hand and they were knitting together with agonizing speed. That pain was nothing compared to the ache in his heart.
He needed to be with Cat, but how? He supposed he could try reasoning with Azagoth. Sometimes the guy wasn’t completely unbending. Especially now that he had Lilliana. She’d leveled him out, had given him a new perspective on life and relationships.
But would it be enough?
Because one thing was certain. If Hades couldn’t have Cat in his life, then Azagoth had saved it for nothing.
Chapter Sixteen
Cat dreamed of Hades.
It was so real, so sexy, that when she woke, she was both heartbroken to find herself alone in bed and turned on by the things they’d done in her dream. She let her hand drift down her stomach, her mind clinging to the images that had played in her head like an erotic movie. She could almost feel the lash of his tongue between her legs as her fingers dipped beneath the fabric of her panties.
Oh, yes. If she couldn’t have him right now, in her bed, she could at least––
Someone knocked on the door, and then Lilliana’s voice filtered through the thick wood. “Cat? Are you awake?”
Cat groaned. “No.”
Lilliana’s soft chuckle drifted into the room. “Azagoth wants to see you in his library.”
A cold fist of oh shit squeezed her heart, and so much for her libido. It was more dead than Hades had been yesterday.
“I’ll be right there,” she called out.
It took her less than five minutes to dress in a pair of cut-off shorts and a tank top––she wanted as much skin exposed as possible in hopes that she could sense Azagoth’s level of anger in the form of evil. Not that knowing would help her any, but it could at least mentally prepare her for disintegration or something.
Gut churning, she hurried to his library, finding it empty. She took a seat in one of the plush leather chairs, and just as she settled in, Azagoth entered.
She trembled uncontrollably as he took a seat. “Hades told me what happened,” he said, getting right to it. “I know that letting the unauthorized souls into the Inner Sanctum was an accident. What I don’t know is why you didn’t tell me when it first happened. We could have prevented all of this.”
“I know,” she whispered. She tucked her hands between her knees as if that would stop them from shaking. It didn’t. “I should have. But I was afraid. I thought I could fix it on my own, but then I got trapped and couldn’t get back...it was all a big mistake.”
One dark eyebrow shot up. “A mistake? It was a colossal fuckup that could have caused destruction on a global scale. And after the recent near-Apocalypse, having millions of demonic spirits loose in the human world would have damned near started another one.”
Her eyes burned, and shame in the form of tears ran down her cheeks. “Are you going to kill me?” Or worse, give her a place of honor in his Hall of Souls, where she’d scream forever inside a frozen body. She wasn’t going to ask about that, though. No sense in giving him any ideas.
Azagoth gaped. “Kill you? Why would you think I’d kill you?”
Was he kidding? “You’re sort of known for not giving second chances. And for disintegrating people who piss you off.”
He appeared to consider that. Finally, he nodded. “True. I’ve never denied that I’m a monster.” He jammed a hand through his ebony hair and sat back in the chair, his emerald eyes unreadable as he took her in. “You’re a terrible housekeeper, Cat. You’re always breaking and misplacing things, and I doubt you even know what a vacuum cleaner is––”
“I’ll do better,” she swore. “I’ll try harder and work longer hours. Please don’t––”
“Let me finish,” he broke in. “Like I said, you’re a terrible housekeeper. But you’re an excellent cook. Zhubaal and Lilliana have watched you with the Unfallen, and they both agree that you’re also a great teacher. You’re eager and enthusiastic, and I don’t think I’ve ever seen anyone try as hard as you do to get things right. It’s that quality that led you to fix the mistake you made by letting the human into the Inner Sanctum. I admire your determination, and I like having you around. So no, I won’t kill you. Besides,” he muttered, “Lilliana would mount my head on a pike if I did that.”
Cat sat, stunned. He admired her? Liked having her around? Even more unbelievable, the Grim Reaper was afraid of Lilliana. “I––I don’t understand. What are you going to do to me?”
“Nothing. I think you’ve punished yourself far more than I ever could.” He smiled, barely, but for him, that was huge. “I can hire someone else to clean if you’d rather do other work in Sheoul-gra. Just let Lilliana know, and she’ll arrange it.”
Relief flooded her in such a powerful wave that she nearly fell out of her chair. She could barely function as Azagoth came to his feet in a smooth surge. “I’m glad you’re back, Cataclysm. Lilliana was inconsolable.”
Inconsolable? Warmth joined the flood of relief. Lilliana truly cared about her. Oh, Cat had had friends in Heaven, but no one had worried about her. Okay, sure, they didn’t worry because Heaven was a pretty safe place, but even when she’d gone to work with Gethel, no one had expressed concern. When she’d been found guilty of colluding with a traitor in order to start the Apocalypse, her friends and family had been sad, angry, and embarrassed, but to say that they’d been distraught or inconsolable would be a huge overstatement.
“Thank you,” she said, her voice thick with emotion. “But before you go, can I ask you something?”
He gave a clipped nod. “Ask.”
She cleared her throat, more to buy a little time than to get the sappy emotion out of her voice. “I want something from you.” Azagoth cocked a dark eyebrow, and she revised her statement. “I mean, I would like something from you.”
“And what’s that?”
“Let Hades have some furniture.”
Clearly, Azagoth hadn’t expected that because the other eyebrow joined the first. “Furniture?”
“He’s been sleeping on a hard-ass slab of stone and using scraps of who knows what for other furniture. He made his own playing cards from bits of wood.”
“So?”
She shoved to her feet, ready to go toe-to-toe with him over this. Hades deserved as much. “Don’t you think he’s been punished enough?”
“You know what he did, yes? You know he slaughtered my son?”
“I’m aware,” she said gently...but firmly. “I know that must be painful for you. But I’m also aware that he’s been paying for that for thousands of years.”
Crossing his arms over his broad chest, Azagoth studied her. His green eyes burned right through her, and she wondered what he was searching for. “He wouldn’t ask for these things. So why are you?”
“Because it’s the right thing to do.”
“Is that all?” he asked, and her stomach dropped to her feet. He knew.
“I care for him,” she admitted. “And he deserves better––”
“Than how I’m treating him?”
Oh, hell, no, she wasn’t falling into that trap. “Better than how he currently lives.”
When Azagoth smiled, she let out the breath she didn’t realize she’d been holding. “Fine. He can have whatever he wants for his home.”
She almost pointed out that his home was a damned crypt, but she figured that would be pushing it. So for today, she accepted the victory.
But she wasn’t done. Hades had fought for her, and now it was time for her to do the same for him.
First, though, she had someone to see.
Chapter Seventeen
“Can I talk to you?”
Cat stood in the doorway of Zhubaal’s office in the Unfallen dorms, her stomach churning a little. She really didn’t want to be having this conversation, but curiosity had always been her downfall. Like a real cat.
Zhubaal had been gazing out the window at the courtya
rd below where several Unfallen were playing a game of volleyball, but now he turned to her, his handsome face a mask of indifference. “About what?”
“I want to know why, ah...” Man, this was awkward. “That day, in your chambers...”
Leaning against the windowsill, he crossed his booted feet at the ankles and hooked his thumbs in his jeans’ pockets. “You want to know why I refused sex with you.”
Her cheeks heated. That had been a seriously humiliating thing. “Yes. Did I do something wrong?”
“You didn’t do anything wrong. I had my reasons.”
She probably shouldn’t ask, but... “Can you tell me those reasons?”
He stood there for a long time, his expression stony, his mouth little more than a grim slash. Finally, when it became clear that he wasn’t going to say anything, she shook her head and started to turn away.
“It’s okay,” she said. “I had no right to ask.”
She headed down the hall, made it about ten steps when he said, “I’m waiting for someone.”
Oh. She pivoted around to him as he stood just outside his office door. “Someone you know? You have a lover? A mate?”
He averted his gaze, and she realized that in all the months she’d known him, this was the first time he’d shown any vulnerability. “Not exactly.”
Not wanting to ruin the moment, she took a few slow, careful steps toward him, approaching the way she might a feral dog. “Did...did Azagoth warn you to stay away from me?”
“No.”
That seemed strange, given that he’d read Hades the riot act. “Why not?”
Gaze still locked on the floor, he replied, “Because he knows about my vow.”
“What vow?”
“That,” he said, his head snapping up, “is none of your business.
Touchy. But now she was curious. What kind of vow? She recalled his interactions with the resident Unfallen and all the visitors to the realm and realized that she’d never once seen Zhubaal with a female.