“Location,” I finish for her with a laugh, appreciating the humor she’s trying to inject into this very surreal moment that I still don’t think my head or heart have caught up with just yet. “And while I don’t quite see that being your calling, at least I’d know you’re out of danger… but that’s not what I meant,” I tell her. “I mean, why get out now? Quit? Why do all of this?”
“Because I love you.” Her answer is spoken with such conviction, I have no doubt of its truth. “And because I always told myself that if there was ever a day I found myself thinking of the husband and kids and white picket fence, I had to give it up. I loved my job, Tanner. It saved me from so much, and I loved knowing I was making a difference in the grand scheme of things, but the one thing I never thought would happen, happened.”
“What?”
“I fell in love with you.” Her voice fades off softly, the emotion in it so strong, it flames the feelings within me to epic proportions. “Like head-over-heels, can’t-catch-your-breath, can’t-live-without-you kind of love. I tried to play cool, tried to act like I didn’t feel it, but my God, that first night? It wasn’t supposed to be like that. I wasn’t supposed to feel like that about you afterward… and I did, and it scared the shit out of me, so the only thing I knew to do was to frustrate you, make you want to push me away.”
“But you quit,” I tell her with a laugh.
“I did, didn’t I? Because you were so frustrating, and when you’re frustrating, going all alpha male, this is how it’s going to be, you are also so damn hot.” Her admission makes me smile and builds my ego all at once.
We stare in comfortable silence for a moment, the dust particles dancing around us in the sun’s rays as if they’re just as excited as I am, when something she said breaks through my scrambled thoughts. “You said I might not still want you here after I know the truth. I know the truth… Why would you think I’d tell you to leave when I feel exactly the same way?”
The shy smile returns along with tears welling in her eyes that I don’t quite understand. I shift again so that I can see her better, one leg hooked over hers, hand resting on her abdomen, and eyes fixed on hers. “Because I want it all, Tanner Thomas. I want late nights laughing and early mornings making love. I want memories and to lay down roots with you. I want you to teach me how to surf and for me to really show you how to shoot a gun,” she says with a smirk. “My history has been erased, and so I want to start making a new one with you. I want the white pickets, your last name… the little boy with skinned knees and sticky kisses. That time away from you after Landstuhl taught me that I want it all, and I know you don’t want some of those things, so…” Her voice fades off as she bites her bottom lip with hesitancy and averts her eyes.
“Hey, hey, hey,” I say, immediately needing to correct her way of thinking. “I want that too. All of it. I may not have the white pickets, but that’s an easy fix… and uh, I’m thinking a little girl instead… one that looks just like her mommy.” I rest my forehead to hers and just allow myself to feel this moment, feel her here, real and breathing against me, and I don’t think anything else will ever top this moment.
Her chuckle is low and deep and vibrates into my chest and against my lips. “In about eight months we’ll find out which one of us is right.”
I whip my head back to look at her with surprise, my lips opening to speak, but nothing comes out as I glance down to where my hand rests on her belly, a life I helped create growing somewhere beneath it.
My eyes must ask the question for me because she just nods her head, a tear slipping down her cheek to the upturned corner of her mouth. “Yes.”
I was so wrong. Nothing, and I mean nothing, else can top this moment.
My little piece of Heaven after going through so much Hell.
Epilogue
5 months later
“Y
ou can’t look!” I tell her, pulling her hands away from the blindfold covering her eyes and then directing her through the house with my hands on her shoulders.
“What in the world?” she says, but I can hear the excitement, sense her trying to figure out what I’m doing.
“Stop right here and put your arms over your head.” I love the odd expression that appears on her face before it slides into a coy little smile.
“Well, Pulitzer, I know my belly is getting big and all that, but if you wanted to get kinky, all you had to do was ask. These pregnancy hormones have no problem having some fun.” Her throaty laugh fills our bedroom as I pull her T-shirt over her head. She does a little wiggle of her hips when I push down her yoga pants, but she keeps her arms up as if I’m cuffing them there with my own hands. “See. I must have expected this, because I’m not wearing any panties.”
And she sure as hell isn’t. That ache of desire that doesn’t ever seem to go away simmers anew at the sight of her in her bra, swollen breasts spilling over, and nothing else. I step back and appreciate the view of her naked body, still beautiful, still petite, but with a little basketball of a belly that makes a pride surge in my chest like I never could have imagined.
I lean forward and press my lips right above her navel. “I’ve got a surprise for your momma,” I murmur against her skin stretched taut and smelling like cocoa butter. And even though I’m in a hurry, I close my eyes momentarily when BJ lowers her hands to the sides of my cheeks and just holds them there in the sweetest of moments because I still can’t believe how all of this worked out.
When I step back, I know the questions will start again as her curiosity fires over what I’m up to. “Hands back above your head,” I order. She’s still thinking I’m going to do something kinky and the idea has never been more appealing while watching her obey my command, but we can do that later. I’ve got plans first.
First, I pick up the tank top that Rylee had helped me select and after a few fumbling seconds direct her hands through the holes of the sleeves and slide it down over her body, throwing a prayer up that it fits.
“I’m so confused.” She giggles as I pull the fabric down over her belly and sigh in relief that it stretches enough to fit around it. Next I pick up the pants with the stretchy waistband, drop to my knees, unable to resist running my fingertips up the line of her legs, and watch the goose bumps that appear in their wake. “Tanner.” She sighs from the feeling that causes her head to fall back and lips to fall open.
The sexy sight of her almost makes me want to put off my preparations and keep up this blindfolded game. But not quite. We can do this later. All night if she wants to, but right now I’ve got plans.
“Put your hands on my shoulders,” I tell her when I’m done smoothing my hands back down her legs and direct her hands to my shoulders. I help her into the pants, leg by leg, and pull them up so that they rest just below her bump.
“I could get used to this kind of play,” she murmurs, which causes me to chuckle but earns her a swat on the butt in turn.
“Later, Rook. I promise you,” I murmur, “I won’t forget, but right now I have a bigger surprise for you.” The smile comes instantly when I step back and see her in a khaki tank top and camouflage cargos, much like her constant attire when we met.
“Tanner,” she pleads as she shifts on her feet, antsy for whatever I have in store for her, and the best part of this whole thing is that I know exactly what’s going through BJ’s mind because I’ve left carefully planted clues a few times in the house.
Right now she is thinking that I’m throwing her a surprise baby shower. For the past month, since I’ve been planning everything for tonight, I’ve left random Post-it notes on my desk in plain sight about dates and party supplies, I’ve made cryptic phone calls to Rylee where I hang up suddenly when BJ enters the room, and I’ve made her register for baby items although she technically knows no one other than my family now. So BJ thinks I’m throwing her a baby shower, and I am in a way, just not the kind she’s imagining.
No. Her real baby shower is happening next weekend. Too many surpr
ises in one day might not be good for the baby, and I definitely think this one takes precedence over next weekend’s.
Unable to resist her any longer, I lean forward and press a tender kiss against her lips. And even though I pull back when she tries to deepen the kiss, I bring my hands to the side of her face and hold her still while my forehead rests against hers, and I just drink everything about her in – all of the little things I thought I’d never get the chance to experience again – because it’s moments like this I’ll never take for granted.
“Do you trust me?”
“One hundred percent,” she says without hesitation in a way that makes my heart squeeze in my chest but causes me to fall silent while mentally preparing my little family for these next few moments.
“Good. I’ve got somewhere you need to be,” I tell her as I press one more kiss to her lips before sliding my hands down her bare arms and taking her hand in mine. With a gentle squeeze I give it a tug so that she lets me lead her the rest of the way.
Once I clear the sliding glass door of the kitchen out to the backyard, my breath catches because this is so very real now, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.
My eyes flicker across the backyard and try to see it how BJ will see it when I remove her blindfold. Glass votives are scattered along the grass, their light adding a soft glow to the sunset’s vibrant colors splashed across the evening sky. A mattress sits on the grass, covered in a native fabric that Pauly shipped over to me. I rigged a canopy of sorts over the mattress as well. A woven bag sits atop it, a wine bottle sticking out of the top, while the rest of the wares are hidden. And the finishing touch is a blizzard of bubbles that floats through the air around us, reflecting the colors of the sunset and the light of the candles.
It’s as close as I can get to the last night we spent on the rooftop of the hotel when she told me she loved me. I hesitated once to say it back. Right here, right now, I want a do-over of the moment to show her I won’t ever hesitate again.
Standing behind BJ with my hands on her shoulders, I lean forward and press a kiss to the bare skin of her nape. “You ready?” I murmur, sounding like I am calm and collected when actually my heartbeat is racing out of control. I can feel her hesitancy mixed with curiosity as the breeze blows, causing her hair to tickle the sides of my face.
I step in front of her and remove the blindfold slowly. She blinks for a few seconds before her eyes find mine and hold my gaze. Even though there is a surprise I’ve arranged for her that I know she’s curious about, when she opens her eyes, she immediately looks straight at me and her gaze does not wander. That little gesture says so much to me about who we are together and the future we have stretched out before us.
And it also solidifies that what I’m about to do is something I’ve never been more sure of.
Unable to handle my own excitement any longer, I break our hold and step to the side so that I can watch her reaction: the shocked gasp, her hand reaching up to cover her mouth, her widened eyes, and the tears that instantly begin to well in them. She gives herself a few moments to take it all in, to absorb what I’ve done before she looks over to me with so much love in her eyes, it makes my chest constrict with emotion.
“You gave me the rooftop back,” she says with awe in her voice. I just nod, reach out for her hand, and lace my fingers with hers. And then through the surprise she remembers that I changed her clothes and looks down and laughs aloud when she sees her uniform of sorts. “Tanner!”
“Just trying to make it as real as possible.” I chuckle as I tug on her hand for her to follow me, but she just stands there, one hand resting on her swollen belly, and her head slowly shaking back and forth as she takes it all in one more time.
I step into her and press my lips to hers, nerves heightened, and yet nothing has ever felt so right to me. “I have more to give you.”
“Oh I believe you’ve already given me enough.” She laughs, her hand moving in a circle over our baby she’s carrying. “But I want to see it all!” Her eyes light up as she releases my hand and walks down the steps toward the replica rooftop setting.
My feet are rooted in place as I watch her move down the path. She waves her hands to try to catch some of the bubbles and turns around like a child, enjoying the simplicity, arms out, face towards the sky. Déjà vu transports me to that last morning we had together when I snapped her picture with my camera phone and wondered how she’d look on my back porch and if we could withstand everyday life in the real world.
We’ve proven that and then some, our relationship flourishing with this second chance at love. Life has changed so much in the five months since she has come back to me: moving in together, learning the ins and outs of each other’s personalities that we’d missed in hotel living, adjusting to the sudden changes but loving every single minute of it, even the growing pains, understanding that the simple blessing of each other’s company is the biggest extravagance and greatest part about finding your other half. Then add to that quitting my job in spite of her protests. Explaining to her that I got the second chance with her I’d prayed for; I wasn’t going to travel overseas on assignment and miss a single second with her or the baby.
My transition to a new job as an investigator for a local news station hasn’t gone without some bumps along the way, but it allowed me the freedom to finish and publish my novel. I can’t believe how successful it’s been. But then again, with a heroine based on Beaux, how can it not?
It’s been crazy. All of it. I never thought hanging up my credentials would be so easy for me. But the best part is that every single change has brought us to this moment, right now.
She walks into the blizzard of bubbles with her face to the sun and a laugh on her lips. And there is something about watching her like this that makes me step back and enjoy the feeling of my heart beating faster. She looks better than I imagined she would right here when I envisioned it all of those months ago.
She stops, arms out to her sides, bubbles clinging to her hair, and smiles at me. “You gonna come dance with me?” she asks as I move toward her.
“In a minute. I even have music this time… but first I have other surprises for you,” I say as I take her hand and bring her to the mattress, holding her hands to help as she lowers herself to sit down.
“The bag!” she exclaims. “You kept it?” Wonderment and nostalgia fill her eyes when I nod.
“It’s the only thing I had left from that night, so when I packed to come home, I brought it with me.” I shrug away the thought of how desperately lonely I was without her.
“That’s so sweet.” She traces a finger along it. “Wine?”
“One glass won’t harm the baby. I asked the doctor.”
She throws her head back and laughs as she thrusts the bottle at me to open since she’s done without it for this long. “I figured you’d ask the doctor about sex in the third trimester, not wine.”
“Well, I did ask that too.” I wink at her with my smile a permanent fixture on my lips.
“Of course you did! Now what else is in here?” she asks. “Can I open it?”
“Mmm-hmm,” I murmur, trying to focus on pouring the wine and not spilling it while I keep watching her pull things from the bag.
“Wow, you really made sure this was authentic,” she says as she takes out cheese and chocolate, and then a soft sigh of pleasure falls from her mouth as she pulls out the last item in the bag. “Bubbles,” she murmurs, her fingers toying with the lid and her eyes finding mine.
“Bubbles.”
“Don’t you think there are enough of them floating around us?” she teases as she leans forward and brushes her mouth against mine. I close my eyes and flick my tongue between her lips, drinking her in before I pull back and look in her eyes.
“I think we should add to them. Don’t you? Match the moment and then we can add a different ending to it, don’t you think?”
“I like that idea,” she murmurs against my lips before leaning back, granting me
a coy little smile as she twists open the top of the bottle.
My heart lodges in my throat and it takes everything I have to not fidget or tell her to hurry up or anything else of the sort because this is all I’ve thought about since the blast that rocked our world took her from me and then brought her back. This moment. How I’d do it if I got a second chance. I got one, so I’m not looking back.
When she twists the cap off, I watch her brow furrow when she notices there isn’t any bubble liquid inside the container. She ever so slowly pulls the wand out, her breath hitching when she notices the platinum and diamond engagement ring attached to the end of it. Her eyes flash up to mine as she looks back at the ring and then at me again.
“Tanner…,” she says cautiously although her eyes light up with happiness.
“How’d that get there?” I tease as I reach out and take the wand from her.
“No. Mine!” she says as she pulls her hand back so that I can’t take it from her before throwing her head back and laughing. And that laugh… It’s one I’ll carry with me to my death because it embodies the personality of the woman I love, how carefree and happy she is now. How I’ve helped her to achieve that. How we’ve found it together.
I press my lips to hers, my nerves skittering out of control but my heart never steadier. “Yes, it is yours, but I’m kind of old-fashioned and want to do this the right way if you’ll let me.”
Her smile softens as she brings a hand up to my face and mouths, “I love you,” before reaching out the bubble wand to me, tears welling in her eyes.
“I wanted to make tonight perfect for you. So many things I need to say, want to say, but I thought this” – I gesture to the setting around us – “would say a lot of it for me.” I take a moment and breathe in before I continue. “I loved you before I even knew the real you. I loved you that night when you told me you loved me up on the rooftop and I hesitated to say it back to you… because one, I wanted it to mean something, and two, because I couldn’t. When you told me, you knocked me on my ass, jump-started my heart, proved to me how real love was supposed to feel. So I hesitated, didn’t say it back, and then I cursed myself for so many days and weeks afterward because then I was too late and couldn’t say it to you.”