She smelled of human blood. Fresh, human blood. And it was not from the human walking next to her.
Declan was not sure if that was any kind of relief.
That human, the male Declan saw his Lena with most of the day, sweated and smelled of barley and hops. He looked rather shocked, sticky and paler than before, and a little uneasy with how close he was to her. His brown eyes hardly blinked.
He knows, Declan realized.
Every one of Colin’s careful, overprotective rules had been defied. Lena left the Castle, fed on a living human, and told another human of their existence. Declan was not sure there was a way to hide any of it. Could he save her now?
Yes, of course he could. He could warn her, urge her to run, to escape. He could teach her how to hide from other vampires, blend in, burrow her head in the ground and survive. She had the skills. She had to learn to use them.
But he knew she would not listen. Not his Lena. She would not hear a word he told her for resentment and anger. Nothing would stand in Lena’s way. Especially not Declan. Consort or not, Lena could never accept him as hers. Would never.
Everything was strangling him. His memories, his laments. The truth of her existence, the steps that brought them to this time and place. Declan found it difficult to take air into his lungs. His strong, controlled body ached and trembled like he did not know it could.
If he were human, he would vomit. Or cry. Or something dramatic and unexpected. But, as a vampire, he showed more emotion, more distress and turmoil than possibly he ever had before.
Except for that first night. After she awoke. How she was different. How she was gone.
Yes, that had been the worst day, the worst memory of his long existence.
After that day, all he did was fail. Declan could not keep Lena happy. He had not been able to keep her safe or informed or loved properly.
If there were a personal hell designed for Declan’s custom-made torture, he would replay that first day for eternity. Knowing what the outcome would be.
Perhaps that was what he deserved.
He could not let Lena see him like this. He had to regain his control. He had to focus.
Because she had to be warned. And protected.
Though the thoughts were there, the conviction was not behind them as it once was. Declan was not convinced Lena needed him.
She had made it this far without him, and seemed content.
Yes, she broke the rules. But only Declan knew. If he left her alone, convinced Colin to forget her, perhaps she could make a home for herself here.
No. Colin would not allow it.
And Declan could not bear the thought of it.
So he followed amongst the shadows, hidden from Lena’s sight. For the moment.