His cry broke through the midnight sky and nothing stirred, as if nothing had happened at all.
It infuriated Declan further, and he let everything go. He collapsed onto the lush grass and dismissed all restraint. His strength left him, his self-control and discipline, that which he had perfected over his many centuries, denying who he really was disintegrated.
This was who he really was. Rash. Impulsive. Passionate above all.
He needed to be as far from the manor as he could get. Declan was on the edge of Colin’s property and could block the sense of where Lena was in the house as long as he did not try to focus on her.
He could not bear thinking of what was happening.
Images of that human being bitten by his Lena plagued him. Declan remembered it as an intimate moment. The act itself, of wounding her wrist, of drinking from her neck was not what he remembered. But the closeness of it. Her body leaning against his for strength. The perfect gentleness of her touch. Her supportive words.
Her last day of classes that semester was on the day before her birthday. She did not want to leave before then. Her conscientious nature would not allow it. She chose the day, and Declan was going to deny his family forever and disappear with her. To spend only a handful of wonderful years by her side. There was no doubt in Declan’s mind that this sacrifice would be worth it.
Colin and the others did not know her then. And Declan was skilled at cloaking his location. They would have been able to be together. For all of her life. And Lena could have had her family.
But Colin arrived that night, concerned over Declan’s extended silence. And by the next day, by Lena’s twentieth birthday, Declan turned her into a monster.
Declan explained to her Colin would not let them leave his presence. If only Lena left, she knew Colin would destroy Declan, for nothing more than defying his wishes. She understood Colin immediately.
She made the decision. Lena said she would sacrifice everything she knew for him, because Declan had been willing to sacrifice the same for her.
Lena had reassured him once they were put into the transformation room. Not the other way around, like custom required. She ran her fingers through his hair and whispered.
Everything will be okay. I love you with everything I am and anything I ever could be. It’s okay. We belong to each other.
And Declan believed her.
Perhaps he still did, even though he knew better. His Lena would never forgive him.
Would she? Eventually?
Maybe he could fight for her. After all, she had refused to take that human as her consort, which meant only one thing to Declan.
He still had some semblance of a chance.
He knew he could make it work. Yes, she was not the same person he had fallen in love with those short decades ago. But together they had chosen this existence for her. He was just as, if not more responsible for everything that had transpired.
And the cold, controlled vampire she was now was all that was left of the woman who changed Declan’s life
It would not be easy, and she may never love him the way she once did, and the way he loved her. But he had to try.
Everything suddenly seemed clear.
Declan would be different now. He could be worthy. Without the boundaries of living in Colin’s family, without the oppression of rules and limitations, perhaps she could care for him again one day.
I am a good man, Declan thought, and it stunned him.
He had not thought of himself as a man for so long, the idea of it only a few days ago would have been ludicrous. But suddenly, in that moment, Declan truly believed he could be better. Be a better man.
After all, were vampires not capable of love? Of passion and desire and hope? These very human qualities only had meaning when there was finality to life.