“It’s been that kind of day.”
“People will think we’ve gone nuts.”
“Folks have been talking about me for a long time. Gossip doesn’t concern me.”
“Really?” She raised hope-filled eyes to him.
“Really,” he assured her.
“Then I have the perfect solution.”
“Oh?”
Her heart felt as if it would burst wide open. “You could marry me, Reed Tonasket.”
Chapter Four
Clare hadn’t watched for his reaction, but he stood frozen, as if she hadn’t spoken. A long moment of hushed, perhaps shocked, silence followed her words.
“That’s the reason you were mouthing the words along with Erin,” he stated softly. “You want so desperately to be married.”
“No,” she said, and shook her head. If he were to accept the validity of her words he had to know the full truth. “You’re the reason.”
“Me?” He sounded incredulous.
“I know it sounds crazy…I can imagine what you’re thinking, but I swear it was you. It was dancing with you, sitting on the plane next to you for two solid hours, and feeling peaceful for the first time in weeks. It was seeing you with Gary outside the wedding chapel and realizing I was going to fall in love with you. I’ve never felt anything like this before, and…I don’t know how to explain it. Something happened during Gary and Erin’s wedding, I felt it so strongly, and I thought you must have too.”
Reed remained silent.
“You mouthed the words along with Gary,” she said in gentle reminder.
“Clare…”
“If you’re going to argue with me, then I don’t want to hear it. Just listen, please, just listen. When we danced…it was as if we’d been together all our lives. You can’t tell me you didn’t feel it…I know you did.”
“I don’t think either of us can trust what we’re feeling.”
“I trust it. I trust you.”
He didn’t say anything, and Clare suspected he shared her faith in what was going on between them, only he wasn’t willing to admit it.
“It’s because you’ve broken up with Jack,” he challenged. His eyes hardened as he mentioned the other man’s name. “You’re feeling insecure and lonely.”
Although she knew Reed was sincere, she couldn’t keep from laughing. “I’ve never felt more confident of having made a right decision in my life. I don’t want to marry Jack. I want to marry you, Reed Tonasket. If it were in my power I’d do so this very night.”
“Clare…”
“Shh, take me back to the hotel.”
Neither of them said a word as they walked back. Clare was collecting her thoughts, collecting her arguments. She felt almost giddy with love. Reed must think she was crazy, and she couldn’t blame him; she felt completely and totally unlike herself. Normally she was cautious, carefully studying each action, analyzing situations and events before making a move. This time with Reed felt completely right. Her judgment wasn’t shadowed by a single doubt, she knew with a clarity that defied definition what she wanted—and she wanted him. Not for this one night, not for these short hours, but for always. Everything she’d ever longed for from Jack was in Reed.
They entered the hotel and by tacit agreement walked side by side through the casino and headed for the elevator. Neither of them spoke, but the instant the doors closed, Clare was in Reed’s arms. She didn’t know who reached for whom. Their hunger was explosive, their kisses urgent and crazed.
A bell chimed as the elevator stopped and the doors noiselessly glided open. “Where are we going?” Clare asked. Her question came between heavy breaths as she struggled to regain her equilibrium.
At first it was as if Reed hadn’t heard her. He sighed and then said, “My room.” He studied her as though he expected her to argue.
Swallowing her disappointment, she nodded.
But he didn’t leave the elevator. “If we do go to my room, we’re going to end up making love.” His gaze narrowed as though he anticipated his words would alter her decision.
Again she nodded, unsure that she could verbalize her agreement. “I want to make love with you,” she said, after a moment. “Someday…perhaps soon, I’d like to have children with you.”
Reed froze, and she realized she’d told him the wrong thing. The worst thing she could have possibly said. He wasn’t looking to make a commitment. He was looking to satisfy their physical need for each other.
“Don’t worry, Reed,” she whispered, feeling wretched. If she was honest it was what she wanted too. “You don’t have to marry me.”
He studied her, his eyes dark and unreadable.
“I understand,” she said, having trouble maintaining her composure. After waiting three fruitless years for Jack, she should have realized no man would be willing to commit himself on the basis of a two-day relationship.
Decisively Reed stepped forward and pushed the button that closed the elevator doors. Without a pause he pushed another, then he turned back to her and reached for her hand.
“You’re sure this is what you want?” The question was gruff, as though he were angry.
She nodded, although she hadn’t a clue what she was agreeing to. “Wh-where are we going?”
His gaze shot to her as if he suspected she were joking. “To the wedding chapel. If we’re going to have children, they’ll have my name even before we set out creating them.”
Clare must be out of her mind, Reed reasoned. Clare nothing, he was the one who’d gone stark, raving mad. He couldn’t help believing he was taking advantage of her. She wasn’t drunk, but she wasn’t herself, either. She wasn’t impulsive and while he wanted to believe she was sincere, he strongly suspected this was a reaction to her break-up with Jack.
There were a hundred reasons why they shouldn’t marry and only one possible excuse why they should. He loved her and he was far too weak to turn down what she was offering. By all that was right he should escort her to her room, give her a peck on the cheek, and put an end to this lunacy.
In the morning, he knew as sure as anything, she’d regret what they’d done. Not so much a doubt crossed his heart. By noon she’d be pleading with him to quietly divorce her. Even knowing what was bound to transpire, it didn’t matter.
If he was battling with doubts about marrying her, his feelings were muddied by his earlier intentions. He fully expected to make love to her when she agreed to go to his room. He hadn’t hidden his intentions, nor had he disguised them. He’d been as open and forthright as he knew how to be. But when she’d agreed to make love, he’d witnessed the flash of pain move in and out of her eyes. He was treating her the same way Jack had, using her, taking advantage of her vulnerability.
Loving her the way he did, it wasn’t in Reed to hurt her. Even acknowledging their marriage was doomed wasn’t enough to turn his course. One thing alone had cemented his determination—the look of love in Clare’s eyes. Her gentle acceptance of him forged his resolve. She’d been willing to give herself to him without asking anything in return. She’d even gone so far as to tell him she wanted his children.
Earlier that evening Reed had listened to Gary mention his feelings about starting a family. His friend had claimed he went mushy inside every time he thought about Erin carrying his baby. At the time, Reed had listened and found himself mildly amused.
He understood his friend’s feelings now. Having Clare mention a child, their child, had a curious effect upon his heart. He wasn’t a man given to sentimentality. Nor was he visionary, but the thought of Clare, her belly swollen with his child, had done incredulous things to his heart.
He wanted this baby, who had yet to be conceived, more than he’d thought it was possible for a man to want anything.
His feelings were tempered, he realized because he’d never known what it meant to be a part of a traditional family. That privilege had been denied him almost from birth. He recalled almost nothing of his life before he’d gone to live w
ith his grandfather, a widower.
The opportunity to give to his own child what he’d been denied was more than he could resist. This child who was nothing more than his heart’s desire. He’d love this baby Clare would give him with the same intensity with which he loved his wife.
His wife.
Reed’s mind faltered over the words. Perhaps fate was playing a cruel trick on him, leading him to believe there was hope Clare would ever come to love him. He wasn’t fool enough to believe she did now. It wasn’t possible—she was in love with an idea, a dream. He happened to be conveniently at hand. Knowing that, though, wasn’t enough to deter him from the marriage.
Las Vegas was set up for quick, convenient marriages, but it took over an hour to make all the necessary arrangements. Reed, who was normally a tolerant man, found himself growing impatient. Although Clare was the picture of tolerance, Reed couldn’t make himself believe she wouldn’t change her mind later. By tomorrow at this time they’d be back in Tullue, and he knew to the bottom of his soul that everything would be different.
“It won’t take much longer,” Clare assured him, smiling peacefully at him as he paced the chapel.
The ceremony itself was only a formality in Reed’s mind. As far as he was concerned, they’d stated their vows earlier with Gary and Erin. The service was necessary for legal purposes. Without realizing what he’d done, he’d married Clare in his heart a few hours earlier.
After the wedding was completed, Reed gently kissed Clare. They’d never spoken of love, and yet they’d each vowed to love each other for as long as they lived. They’d never spoken of the future, yet promised to spend it together. Reed feared their lives were destined to be filled with ironies.
Reed hadn’t a clue where this relationship would lead him, but looking down on Clare with her eyes bright with joy, he realized he was willing to fight to the death to give her the happiness she deserved.
“I’ll buy you a wedding ring later,” Reed promised after the ceremony.
It seemed to take hours before everything could be arranged, but Clare hadn’t minded. While Reed had impatiently paced the chapel, she’d been content, knowing they had the rest of their lives.
When it came time to exchange rings Reed had given her a large turquoise ring as a wedding band. One he’d worn himself. He’d slipped it onto her finger and it was so large, it threatened to fall off her hand. Clare had loved it immediately.
“Would you mind terribly if I had this one sized instead?” she’d asked.
“Wouldn’t you prefer a diamond?”
Smiling, she looked to him and slowly shook her head. “No, I’d like to keep this ring…that is if you don’t object to my having it.” The ring was obviously designed for a man, but Clare saw a delicate beauty in it. Since there was little that was traditional about this marriage anyway, she didn’t feel obligated to submit to convention with a diamond.
“All I have is yours,” Reed assured her.
“And all I have is yours,” she echoed, finding serenity in his words. Tears gathered in the corners of her eyes. She didn’t know what was the matter with her, why she would give in to the weakness of tears when her heart felt as though it would burst wide open with a joy so strong it seemed impossible to hold inside.
“Shall we celebrate?” Reed asked as they left the chapel. “Champagne? Anything you want.”
“Anything?” she teased, holding his gaze. “All I want is you, Reed Tonasket,” she whispered.
His eyes brightened as he leaned down and kissed her. His kiss was gentle, with none of the urgency or hunger of their exchanges earlier, almost as if he were afraid of hurting her.
She’d always found it difficult to read him, but Clare had no trouble now. Reed was incapable of hiding how much he wanted to make love, but at the same time he restrained himself as if he were afraid of frightening her with the strength of his need.
“My room or yours?” she asked, her voice as soft as satin.
“Mine” came his decisive reply.
Reed led the way to the elevator, but he didn’t kiss her. It was as though he were unwilling to cloud her judgment. After he opened the door to his hotel room, he turned and effortlessly lifted Clare into his arms.
She smiled up at him, feeling a bit shy and shaky, but never more confident.
His gaze held hers. “I’ll always be who I am,” he said in a low, almost harsh voice. “There’ll be people who’ll look down on our marriage, people who’ll make snide remarks about you marrying a Native American. If you want out, the time is now.”
Her arms circled his neck and she angled her mouth over his, kissing him with a thoroughness that left her grateful she was supported by his arms. I’ll always be who I am,” she answered, choosing to echo his words. “There’ll be those who’ll disapprove of you marrying outside the tribe. If you’re going to change your mind, I suggest you do it now, because after tonight there’ll be no turning back.”
Reed’s chest lifted in a sharp intake of breath, and she took advantage of the moment to kiss him once more. From that point forward their kisses were no longer patient or gentle, but fiery and urgent, as if they had to cram a lifetime of loving into a single night.
Clare couldn’t remember Reed setting her on the bed, but he had. His large hands were having difficulty with the tiny satin-covered buttons that stretched down the front of her dress.
“I’ll do it,” she promised, even as she worked at the fabric of his shirt. They kissed, their mouths straining against each other while she struggled to get out of her dress and finally abandoned the effort.
Reed grew impatient, “Clare, dear heaven, let’s get out of these clothes first,” he said, reluctantly breaking away from her. He sat upright on the mattress, his shoulders heaving. She offered him a slow, sweet smile as she kicked the s hoes from her feet.
“Be careful, Clare, I’m having a hard time slowing this down.” His hands worked frantically at the buttons of his shirt. Mesmerized, Clare was incapable of doing anything more than study him, although she was as eager to dispense with her clothes as he was to have her out of them.
“That’s the most romantic thing anyone’s ever said to me,” she whispered. Reed made her feel beautiful and desirable, and for that she loved him with all her heart.
She shouldn’t be wasting this time, but she found far more delight in watching her husband.
Her husband.
Her heart swelled with pride and love. She had no regrets for the time wasted with Jack, not when it had led her to this man and this moment.
His shirt came off first, revealing a powerful torso. Until that moment, Clare hadn’t realized how muscular Reed was. He wasn’t like other men, who made a point of revealing their brawn.
Reaching out, she ran the tips of her fingers across his broad shoulders, reveling in the powerful display of strength. His skin was hot to the touch, and she flattened her palm against the smooth texture and exhaled sharply, wanting him.
“Do you need help?” he asked, turning questioning eyes to her. The room was illuminated by a soft light. Clare would like to have believed it radiated from the moon, but more than likely it was generated by the brilliant lights that decorated the Strip.
Not waiting for her reply, he bent over her and kissed her deeply, while she impatiently worked free the last of the maddening buttons.
Reed helped her to sit up, then peeled the dress from her shoulders, carefully setting it aside. Clare removed her camisole and the rest of her underthings herself, revealing none of the care Reed had with her clothing. Soon she was completely bare before him. She half expected to feel shy with him, but the thought was pushed from her mind when she read the appreciation and awe in his eyes.
His hands were gentle when he reached for her. His kiss was gentle, too, and incredibly sweet. He pulled back the sheets and gently placed her atop the mattress and then looked down on her, his gaze filled with warmth and love.
Clare’s heart felt like it would ex
plode with love. She could think of no way of telling him all that was feeling.
He inhaled, his eyes holding her. “I don’t want to frighten you.”
“You couldn’t,” she whispered, stretching her arms up to him.
He came down on the bed beside her, and gently brushed the hair from her face. “You’re so incredibly beautiful.”
Clare briefly closed her eyes to the heady sensation his words produced. “You are, too,” she whispered.
He kissed her then with such intensity that she felt her breasts tighten. “Reed,” she pleaded, not knowing, even as she spoke, what she was asking.
He brought his mouth back to hers and kissed her again and again with a hunger that fueled their need. She was hot, feverish with desire until she whimpered, needing him so desperately. “Please,” she begged, “don’t make me wait any longer.”
His lovemaking brought her such keen satisfaction that she thought she would faint with the sheer intensity of it. She ran her hands over his face, whimpering softly. They were both silent as though they no longer needed words in order to communicate. He kissed her several times, soft kisses, a gentle meeting of their lips, and gathered her fully in his arms.
Clare nestled her face in his neck and closed her eyes, unbelievably tired, unbelievably content. Everything within her life was complete. She’d found love, a love so strong it would withstand everything. She had found her home at last.
Reed lay awake long after Clare slept. He held her in his embrace, not wanting to miss one precious moment of this incredible night.
Idly he ran his chin across the top of Clare’s crown, his thoughts traveling at lightning speed into the future and what it would hold for them. Closing his eyes, he decided not to court trouble. They would face that soon enough.
Reed had always lived on the fringes of acceptance in Tullue. The town and he’d maintained something of an armed truce with one another. That was bound to change now because of Clare. If they were going to make their marriage work, something he badly wanted, then he was going to need to make his peace. But that peace would have to be made with himself first, and it was a commodity he’d always found in short supply.