I crossed to him and sat on the edge of his bed. “Would you have left me in the hospital alone?”
“No.” He rubbed his eyes. “I feel like hell.”
“I bet.”
Silence descended on the room. What was I supposed to say to him? How you apologize for drawing some kind of being to him, getting him nearly killed, and then not being able to save him? Gee, Levi, I’m sorry…
“I had a second to see it. For just a moment there in the end? I could see the shadow.”
I rubbed his arm, a light touch. “Are you okay?”
“No. But I saw it. I want you to know I did. And you can’t fight things like that. You can’t. There has to be somewhere I can take you and the kids to keep you safe.”
I rubbed my fingers down the side of his cheek. “You were my first and only love. The only man I’ve ever been with. The father of my children. I won’t let anything happen to you again. I promise it.”
“Damn it, Kendall. I’m talking about saving you, not me.”
I kissed him lightly on the lips. “I know what you’re saying.”
****
As the kids ran through the neighborhood playing some kind of Pokémon game with the neighbors’ kids, I got busy on the internet. Googling “shadow man” didn’t elicit the kind of results I’d hoped. There were thousands of websites devoted to the subject, and most of them were completely ridiculous. People saw shadow men everywhere.
And none of the so-named pictures looked like my guy.
I grabbed my phone and texted Malcolm. I hadn’t heard from him since the kissing in the car.
Last night, I encountered something I’ve never seen before. A shadow person. He spoke to me. Said some really screwed up things. And tried to kill Levi. Should I tell him about the whole “finding out I vanished” thing? I hit send before I could add that to the text. Malcolm and I weren’t on a real sharing-everything-with-each-other stage yet.
I stared at the phone as though it could produce an instant response. Thirty seconds felt like an hour, and I set it down to stare at my computer screen again. One page was a testimonial by a man who had once been attacked by what looked like a dog. This was pointless.
My phone buzzed. And?
I didn’t have the slightest idea how to answer his response. I thought you might want to know about it.
The shadow-dog had apparently shown up and taken the man’s shoes. This was ridiculous. My ex-husband had almost died as I watched helplessly. My heart raced every time I thought about it. I didn’t need nonsense.
Listen, I don’t know if I gave you the impression that we’re friends. We’re not. If you don’t have something job-related to talk about, don’t text.
If I had been the kind of person to give into impulses the second I had them, I would have thrown the phone across the room. Really? That was his response? Oh, what an asshole. Instead of throwing, I texted back.
Sorry. I made a mistake. I thought we were two people both interested in what went on in the paranormal world around us. It won’t happen again. Have a nice day.
I turned off my phone. I still had the normal one if anyone needed me, but I was done with Malcolm for the day.
Still on Google, I changed tactics. My mother said I’d come back babbling about shadows. Maybe what I needed to be looking up was myself.
Kendall Madison. As weird as it was, I’d look up myself. Several results popped up. Old articles from before the Internet was really a thing. Archived news reports about me going missing showed up on websites. I clicked and read them, but they didn’t tell me anything my mom hadn’t already said. The police were looking for me and for the unnamed foster child I was with.
I rubbed my eyes. My poor parents. They must have been terrified. If anything happened to one of my kids …
The doorbell rang, and I jumped to my feet. The kids were out, but Levi had fallen asleep upstairs. I didn’t have the heart to send him home after his ordeal. Not only had he been assaulted and nearly killed, but he’d actually seen the shadow guy. Levi had a hard time believing anything he couldn’t see or hear. Now he had proof. He’d seen the damn thing.
I didn’t want him waking up if he still needed sleep.
Chase Miller stood on the other side of the door, holding a manila folder in his hand. He raised a dark eyebrow. “You look like shit.”
“Thanks?” I opened the door farther so he could come in. I could throw him out, but considering Malcolm had all but just told me to screw off, I wasn’t feeling particularly like helping him get rid of his Chase problem. Maybe that made me horribly immature. I was too tired to care. “Keep your voice down. My ex-husband was attacked by a shadow-creature last night, nearly died, and spent the night in the hospital. He’s asleep upstairs.”
Chase rocked back on his feet. “At least I know why you look like shit.”
“You must be so fun at parties.” I shook my head and clomped toward the kitchen. My legs didn’t want to work. Gravity wasn’t my friend. “Do you want some caffeine? I’m having some.”
He laughed and followed right behind me. “It’s just that you’re so pretty. I’m not used to seeing you so haggard.”
I actually snorted. I was too old to fall for nonsense. “You’ve seen me exactly three times. One when I was punch-drunk after a Cascade clearing. The next morning when I was hung over from the whole thing and in my pajamas. And now. I don’t think you get to say I’m pretty. I’ve never been anything but a mess in front of you.”
My peach top over my ripped, grey sweatpants were probably the worst ensemble he’d seen as of yet. I didn’t even care. He smelled fresh, like he’d just come from the shower. His hair curled slightly today, and I wondered if his locks were soft. I wasn’t going to touch them to find out, even though I was tired enough to do really stupid things like that if I wasn’t careful.
“You were really cute in your pajamas.”
I waved my hand in the air. “Save it for the women who must be willing to drop to the ground and spread their legs for you regularly. I’m a mess. Flirting is wasted on me.”
“Right. Got it. What happened with the shadow man? What is a shadow man by the way?” He sat at the stool next to my counter and set down his folder.
Where to even begin? “Before I go into the hell that was last night, what are you doing here? Because if this is simply another Malcolm-is-a-bad-guy conversation, then I must tell you I’m really not in the mood. He allows me to do what I need to do to earn some money. We’re not friends. I have no information about him.”
He picked up the folder. “This is a collection of things I know about him, including the fact that I can’t find any evidence of him even existing before he was eighteen. I just thought I’d leave it here. You can decide for yourself if you’re safe with him. Have at it.”
Should I tell him what Malcolm had said to me about Chase’s sister having been off-job when she got killed? I quickly decided against it. I didn’t have any proof other than Malcolm’s word, and I didn’t want to have a fight with Chase in my kitchen over his dead sister. Despite Chase constantly barging into my life, I had no interest in getting involved in his life.
“Thanks.” I would look at it, at some point, when I could actually think about Malcolm’s mysterious past. My own held all my interest at the moment.
Chase drummed his fingers on the counter while I brewed the coffee I so desperately needed. “Shadow person?”
He had never seen ghosts himself, but at least he was a believer. I turned around, launching into my story. No one that I’d said anything to had the slightest idea how to advise me. My parents had been in the business my whole life, and they’d shaken their heads like total amateurs. Why had I seen what no one else seemed to? I finished my story, including my disappearance.
My guest dumped the papers in the folder onto the counter and grabbed the envelope. He slid it over to me. “Draw me a picture of the shadow guy, and I want to know anything you know about your disappearance.”
r /> “Why?” I took a sip of my coffee.
“Because this is what I do. I’m a private detective. I specialize in weird. I’ll find out about your shadow guy and see what I can dig up on you. Looks like it was fortuitous that I came over today.”
Remarkably so. I didn’t like how easy this seemed. I had a problem and—boom—out of the blue, a private detective specializing in my kind of problems, who happens to hate on Malcolm, came over with an I-can-fix-it attitude? I wasn’t a Mary Sue and I didn’t believe in things being tied up in neat little boxes at the end of the day.
“What’s your game? Who are you really?”
His eyebrows rose slowly. “I am exactly as I’ve advertised myself. Why would you think otherwise?”
Every nerve ending in my body went on high alert. I ached with energy, and not in a good way. “You should go. Now.”
If I couldn’t trust myself, who could I ever rely on? I might be crazy. I might be overreacting. Everything could be exactly as Chase said it was. Even if all of that turned out to be the case, I still wanted him out. Right away.
Chase slid off his stool. “I get it. You have no reason to trust me.”
I advanced toward him. He was tall, built, and would be able to hurt me—probably with just one hand. Still, I wouldn’t back off this. If he wouldn’t get out, then I’d scream until Levi came downstairs. He was weak, but at least there would be two of us.
Chase scooted backward toward the door and put his hands in the air. “Woah, there, kitten. We don’t have to have a problem here. I get it. You don’t trust me. You should. You will eventually. For now, I’ll go. You don’t have to hurt me. Put the armor down.”
What armor? He didn’t even make any sense. “Out the front door.”
“Going. Next time I’ll call before I come over.”
He closed the door behind him after he rushed outside.
My heart raced hard, slamming in my chest like I’d run a marathon. I’d just thrown Chase out of my house, and I wasn’t one hundred percent sure I should have done it. I was losing my mind.
I needed to run. I’d never been much of an exerciser, and I’d had to give up my gym membership. Still, I had sneakers on, and I was dressed to work out. All I had to do was get myself outside and move my body.
If Levi woke up and I wasn’t here, he’d be fine for a little while at least. Hell, I wasn’t even sure I should have let him come here to recover. The kids were going to get confused. Except for Gray who hated me too much for any kind of consideration on the subject. He’d probably prefer it if Levi and I didn’t get back together. He could hate me even longer that way. I shut the door behind me and took off down my driveway on a mad dash, as though someone chased me. It felt like I was, in fact, being hunted, and I didn’t know why.
I ran hard, not caring if the neighbors looked out their windows and thought I looked insane. I very well might be. Before I could stop myself, I gave in to the need to scream. I ran, not caring where I went. I lost track of the neighborhoods I passed, and time moved slowly. Houses blurred into nothingness. There was nothing but my need to flee as fast as I could for as long as I managed. When I couldn’t move anymore, I collapsed onto the ground at a park just far enough from my house that I didn’t bring the kids to it on a regular basis. Looking around, I recognized the empty play area from birthday parties we’d attended that had been held here. I’d gone a full eight miles away. I could hear my heartbeat in my ears.
I grasped my knees and tried to breathe through my nose. Good heavens, why had I run here? I couldn’t stop making stupid mistakes. I had to get back home now, and the kids had already endured so much. They were sure to hear about their crazy mother again. And I ….
Whatever I’d been thinking about vanished. Goosebumps broke out all over my body before I felt the cold. I turned around. Behind me there were ghosts, at least twenty of them, maybe more. They advanced toward me, each one with its right arm stretched in front of it like they all wanted to touch me. I backed up. What the hell was this?
Had all the ghosts in the world changed their patterns and no one informed me?
Ghosts didn’t reach toward people who could clear them. They fled away.
But for that matter, ghosts didn’t attack people at PTA meetings either. Nothing was happening the way it was supposed to.
The present had to hold my attention, which meant my always-distracted brain needed to stay on task. I had an abundance of ghosts vying for my attention in the middle of a public park—albeit an empty one. What did I want to do about it?
I guessed I could run away—not that my legs were up for such a feat. Or I could call Malcolm and somehow make a job out of this. Maybe the city would pay us to clear out the public parks. Both ideas were ridiculous. Like it or not, sometimes I was going to have to work for free, particularly when the ghosts seemed to be gunning for me.
“Okay, ladies and gentleman,” I called out. “You’re here. I’m here. You’re reaching for me. Let’s play.”
My line wouldn’t have been good enough for a television show or a comic book. I wanted to be a kick-ass girl, but in reality I was a thirty-five-year-old mother of three who had just reached her breaking point. My own version of cute one-liners would have to suffice.
The energy inside of me built up until I raised my own arm. “Boom.”
Maybe I could even take them out two at a time. I’d have to try.
When the last of the crowd had been dealt with, I hobbled home to an active, happy household. Life had become such a dichotomy for me. Fight ghosts and then go home and pretend that I hadn’t been. Maybe my parents had the right idea. In our van, we hadn’t had to hide who we were from the world.
Our brand of weirdness had been the normal. Until I’d decided it wasn’t good enough for me …
Come on, kid, I don’t do business with children. If your mom or dad wants something, they know where I am.
I blinked, looking left and right. Who had said that? I knew the voice …
“Kendall,” Levi called to get my attention. “Your mother is teaching me how to make her spaghetti sauce. Come join us. I want to make this. We can do it together.”
“I’ve never been much of a cook.” I shrugged. “I’m more of a warm-it-up girl. But you have at it. I’d love you to make it. It’s not like we ate it a whole lot growing up. There wasn’t much opportunity for cooking in the van.”
My mother looked over her shoulder. “Are you okay? Your aura is odd, kind of speckled right now. You also don’t sound right.”
At the kitchen table, the laughter of my kids joking with each other ceased. I wasn’t going to make them happy with my next statement. I wouldn’t live in a van—or make them endure my childhood. However, I could—and would—make this home a safe zone.
“I was fighting ghosts in the park on Middleberry. Somewhat exhausting.” I sunk down in the chair next to Gray and placed my hand on his. He didn’t shrug it off, which was something at least. “What are we all doing? Monopoly? What? Did your iPads all break?”
Molly burst out into giggles. “Grandpa says the electronics are eating our brains.”
At the mention of my father, I looked for him. He stood outside, staring at the fence. My father’s super psychic abilities weren’t like my own. I was never exactly sure what he saw that I didn’t. It was time to make something clear.
“Gray, can you do Mommy a favor? Go find the painkillers. I need one.”
Levi cleared his throat. “Did you get hurt? Did you see it again?”
“I think I hurt myself more in the eight miles I ran there than in the actual fighting. Just run-of-the-mill ghosts, even though they behaved strangely.” I pulled myself out of the chair, intending to join my father outside. I limped toward the back door. My joints hurt. I had to get outside and move more. I wasn’t this old yet.
Levi stepped away from the stove. “Why did you run?”
I patted his arm. “Long story not suitable for young ears. Or maybe also not f
it for yours. It depends on how far you want to go down the rabbit hole with me.”
“Since I saw that thing? What I really want to do is pile us all into the car and run.”
My mother shook her head. “Things have a tendency to follow.”
“Right.” Dex nodded, inserting himself into the conversation. “It is the Cascade after all.”
He looked back down at the board and moved his piece two spaces forward. Grayson shifted in his seat but didn’t otherwise comment. Molly touched Dex’s arm and yawned. The explosion of pain I expected from our conversation hadn’t happened. Was it possible? Had my kids adjusted?
I squatted down next to Dex. “What do you mean by the Cascade, buddy? Who told you that word?”
He raised his eyes to mine and leaned over to kiss me on the cheek. “Some things just are, Mama. You should know that by now.”
And that was all the answer I was going to get.
Chapter Thirteen
My father looked at me when I approached. I took his arm and pressed my head into his shoulder. There had been a time when I had believed he could place himself amidst all the troubles of the world and win the battle. Maybe he could have, based on my faith alone. When had I lost trust in him?
“You should have told me what happened a long time ago. You should have repeatedly told me. I shouldn’t be hearing about it for the first time when I’m thirty-five years old.”
He sucked in his breath. “We’d lost you. You were just gone. And no one could help us. Then you were back. At that point, we would have done anything to hold onto you, even if it meant pretending we didn’t know you’d been gone. We lied. I’ll admit it. We did it again when we came here with that story about you forgetting three years. We did it to hold onto you, and ultimately, we lost you anyway when you married Levi and you turned your back on us.”
“Well, this time you’re not losing me. I’m not going to run or vanish or whatever. I need answers. I have to go back to the beginning; ghosts are behaving wrong around me. A shadow man is attacking Levi. I’m either the unluckiest person ever or this is all related to that missing time. Where did I go? Who did I see? Why did this happen?”