Chapter Twelve
With a full stomach, Sterling couldn’t keep his eyes open. As they drove back to the market, twice she asked him questions that he thought he had answered but never did. He kept drifting out.
Pulling into the parking lot, she didn’t cut the engine. “You’ve got a driver’s license, right?”
“Of course,” Sterling said.
“Why don’t you go to my house and take a nap? You didn’t get that much sleep last night. I can cover the afternoon by myself.”
“No.” He sat forward. “I’m alright. I can do it.”
“Sterling, I’d rather have you sleep this afternoon and milk the goats at six. You can come by this evening when you’re done. We still need to finish the next batch of soap after the day is over. I’d rather you help me with that.”
He could see the logic in her plan but didn’t want them to be apart. “Who will wash all those women’s feet?”
She laughed. “I think that’s a service we can suspend indefinitely.”
“Fair enough.” He got out and walked around the car.
His hand rested on the top edge of the driver’s door as it opened. She stood right into his arms and looked in his eyes. He lowered his head, so they were almost nose to nose and smiled. She didn’t look away.
A soft breeze brushed a stray curl free. He lifted his hand and slid it across her forehead and behind her ear. Inches closer, and they would be kissing. The thought thrilled him. She bit her lip, and he knew she must be thinking the same thing. But there was too much at stake. No matter how pleasant it would be, he had to wait. Tomorrow he could kiss her goodbye and have all the benefits without any of the downside. It’d be one great kiss, too.
“What are you thinking?” she asked. “You suddenly looked so happy.”
“How grateful I am for running into Austin.” Even with his course of action decided, it took more willpower than he thought he possessed to take a step backward and let her pass.
She took three strides from the car then looked back. “I’m glad you ran into Austin, too.”
He watched her until she was lost in the meandering crowd. This was turning out to be a great weekend after all.
It was a struggle to stay awake long enough to get home. Once he pulled into the driveway, he threw the car in park and almost staggered to the bedroom. He was out before he even knew it and slept as deeply as he could remember. He woke at five in the evening and went to do the milking. He finished, took a shower and went into the bedroom with his jeans on but nothing else. The shirt he had borrowed from her Uncle Bill was no longer smelling fresh, and he hated to borrow another without asking. In his state of indecision, he laid back on the bed and only closed his eyes for a second, but it was long enough for sleep to reclaim him.
Closing time was fast approaching, and Paige was getting nervous. She had expected Sterling to be back over an hour ago. The nearer it got to nine, the more she had to analyze the reality of what she had done. Even if he was adorable and a hard worker, she didn’t know anything about him. In fact, the only thing he’d shared about himself was that ten or twelve years ago he’d lived with his family and hadn’t seen them since. They must have done something awful. She wondered if that was how he became a drifter, going from dead end job to no job at all.
Yet a part of her couldn’t believe that. He was so intelligent and had great teeth. Even his nails looked groomed. But the whole bus things in the deli made it pretty clear he was homeless. Paige shook her head and accepted the possibility that he stole the car. At least there was no product in the back, and the car was getting old. With what they had sold that weekend, he’d easily made enough to cover the cost of the dented beater. She’d call it payment for his time and wouldn’t report it to the police. Given the whole Blanche thing, they might not believe her anyway.
La’Dawn, the jewelry vendor, pulled a string, and a curtain of beads rattled into place, not really blocking anything but probably making the girl feel better. It was Paige’s cue that quitting time had arrived. She began packing up her boxes and planned on calling a cab. She’d give him another half an hour just to be sure. If he actually had left, it was probably because of what happened when she was getting out of the car. The way he lingered made her think he was going to kiss her. Maybe she scared him off. Being that near him, smelling the musky scent of him, was sheer heaven. She closed her eyes to relive the moment and took a deep breath.
“Thinking about me, I hope?” Joe’s voice invaded her dreams, and she opened her eyes to find him in front of her.
He seemed a poor consolation prize. “Oh, hey.”
“Long day?”
“I’m exhausted.” He must have taken her lack of enthusiasm as fatigue. “Joe, do you have extra room in your car?”
“Of course.”
“Could you give me a ride home? My car’s with a friend.”
If his grin had been any wider, her might have hurt himself. Her took her hand, not even asking for details and Paige wondered what she’d gotten herself into.
As Joe pulled up to her house, she let out an audible sigh of relief. “He’s here.”
“Who?”
She sensed jealousy in his tone and realized he’d expected to be invited in. She better set him straight. “Joe, we need to talk”
He cut the engine, stretched out his elbows and put his arm around the back of her seat. “Finally.”
She clutched the offending appendage and directed it back to his side of the car. “I know you have feelings for me. And, I have to admit, I love you like the brother I never had. It’s only—”
He leaned back. “I don’t know whether to zero in on the love part or the brother part.”
She brought up a knee and shifted in her seat, so she was facing him, but it kept him on his side of the car. “Ever since Uncle Bill got sick, you’ve been there for me. I’ll always be grateful. You’re so good and kind and . . . pure.”
“Pure? Paige, the things I want to do with you are anything but pure.” He gripped the steering wheel.
“Joe, you’re so handsome.” She could feel him deflating. “Any girl would be lucky to have you.”
“But not you,” he said. He was quiet for a long time. When he spoke, he wouldn’t look her direction. “You know, you saved me from making the worst decision of my life. Julie wanted me to quit the farmers’ market once we married. I almost agreed, and then it hit me, the only reason I loved it so much was because of you. Of all the girls I dated, none have really been my friend. The thought of us as a couple blew my mind. I’d marry you right now, if you’d say yes.”
“I’m sorry.” Paige had guessed as much.
He turned to her then. “You have nothing to feel sorry about. It was all in my head. I should be apologizing to you for pushing you into something you didn’t want.”
Paige knew it wasn’t fair for him to think that. “Joe, you’ve been there for me when no one else was. When I needed help, you were the only one I considered calling. I hope it can still be that way.”
He shook his head. “If I’m around you, I’ll want to date you.” He studied her, a bit of hope still left in his eyes. “Is that stupid?”
“No.” She appreciated his honesty. “That’s the same conclusion I came to.”
“And hence cowboy man runs defense for our dinner last night.”
She was happy he was finally getting it but sad too. She’d miss him.
His voice broke into her thoughts. “Could I ask one last thing, and then I swear I’ll never bring it up again.”
“Anything,” she said without reservation.
“Can I have one kiss? I’ve dreamed of it the whole time I was building your booth, maybe longer.” He ran the back of his hand across her cheek. “Please?”
Her chest tightened, and it was hard to breathe. She wanted to say no and run from the car, but it seemed such a small request. He’d done so much for her, and they’d been friends for so long that she dipped her chin in assent.
That tiny movement was enough for him. He moved closer and slid his arms around her, pulling her near him. It was awkward, and the gearshift pressed against her hip. As he leaned in, she wanted to turn her head but thought it would be unkind. His lips pressed against hers. In response her mouth clenched tight. Moist and reaching for more, his lips pulled at hers and slathered around her face, while his hands slid up and down her back as though he was applying suntan lotion through her shirt. She endured it for what was probably less than a minute, but it felt like an eternity. Paige was on the verge of shoving him away when at last he gave up and retreated.
Seconds later, she had the door open and stepped from the car, feeling like she wanted to vomit. She had nothing to say.
He tried to catch her eyes. “Good bye, Paige. I’ll always love you.”
She slammed the door and focused on her Wellingtons until she heard the car rev and peel out onto the street. Spitting in the grass, she turned to the house. Not one light was on. The sight was a relief. Sterling must still be sleeping after working so hard all night long and that morning. She worried that entering the house might wake him. Besides, how could she face him after what just happened in the car?
The solution was simple. She headed to the barn to check whether the goats had been milked but found them all quiet and happy. She counted. They were all there, too. Lifting the freezer lid, she noticed he was getting a higher yield than she had for the last few weeks. It must be his milking technique. When Blanche milked the goats, it was horrible, like she was working a stress ball. But Sterling's hands were so gentle yet strong that he rivaled even her ability. Secretly, she wondered if the goats preferred him to her. The subject of rivals made her also wonder how kissing Sterling would compare to Joe.
She laughed at the thought as she slid a blue plastic crate from the pile in the corner while allowing her mind to wander. It wouldn’t be difficult for Sterling to come out ahead there, too. She started throwing frozen gallons in the crate. All he’d have to do was not kiss like a fish or dig her hip into the gearshift. Letting the freezer lid drop with a thud, she knew it was more than that. Could her feelings for Sterling be what made kissing Joe so unpleasant?
Unsure of herself, Paige carried the bagged ice milk back to the house. She’d only cook half a batch tonight, and let Sterling sleep. Flipping the interior lights on, she carefully laid her burden on the counter so as not to make too much noise. She wasn’t ready to face Sterling tonight, but tomorrow would be a different matter. She might even flirt a little.
In the other room Sterling lay on the bed, staring at the ceiling. How stupid could he be? Of course someone as accomplished and creative as Paige would be spoken for. He thought of how familiar Joe had been with her, touching her face when they spoke. Did Paige look on him as some charity case? Or worse, had he only imagined her interest in him? Paige told Julie their relationship was just business. It had been a while since he’d found someone who interested him. Could he be that out of touch?
Her car keys were still in his hand, and he chucked them on the bedside table. He had almost made it to the door when Joe’s car drove up. From the front window he could see what was happening since the vehicle’s interior was backlighted by the floodlights from the barn and the house was dark. At first she seemed to resist his advances, but he must have worn her down. Even in the dark, it was pretty clear the lip lock was a mutual decision.
Though it surprised him to see her with Joe like that, the bigger surprise was his own reaction. He was seriously upset. Probably because he’d dreamed about that goodbye kiss, which would have been a lot better than the peck Joe dished out. Or could it be more? He hadn’t realized his feelings for her had gone so deep. He cleared his throat and rolled over on his side. Maybe he should be thanking the hick for saving him from himself. He didn’t need any of this. He had a life, and it was time to get back to it.
***