Chapter 11
It was the last day of before the big presentation, and Kelly was already feeling the butterflies. She knew the work was good, and she expected to land the account, but it had been a long time since she had done a joint presentation. They had decided that Andrew would start the pitch, and then Kelly would close. She had a real gift for words, and she would be the best to wrap things up at the end.
Megan met Kelly in the hall. “Hey, Kelly. So today’s the big day? You and Andrew pitching?”
“Yes, and I’m so nervous I can hardly stand it.”
“You always do that, and then you always close the deal,” Megan teased. “You should know by now that you’re the one with the advertising magic around here.”
Kelly laughed nervously. “Well, thanks for the boost, but it just seems that nerves are part of the package for me. Maybe it keeps me on my toes.”
“Hey,” Megan said. “Since everyone is so glad you’re back, we planned a little supper gathering at Reye’s after work. If you all close the deal, we can consider it a celebration.”
“Okay, but you have to be the designated driver. I might just go wild or something.”
“Yeah, right,” Megan laughed, rolling her eyes. “You’ve never been drunk in your life.”
“Tonight may be the night. This is a big deal to close.”
“Well, good luck again. I’ll be thinking of you.” Megan headed down the hall to her office.
Half an hour later, Andrew and Kelly were walking down the hall toward the conference room. “Nervous?” Andrew asked.
“Don’t ask, or I’ll be sick,” Kelly answered.
Andrew squeezed her hand, and Kelly felt the electrical jolt again. Why was it that Andrew did that to her; he couldn’t know the affect he had on her? “Kelly, we have done a great job, and remember: we are the best. No problem, we have this deal.”
Kelly smiled. “I’m glad one of us is absolutely sure. I don’t know why I get so worked up about these things. I know it will go well. I mean, you’re part of it, right?”
It wasn’t until Andrew squeezed her hand again that Kelly noticed he was still holding it. He cleared his throat and let go before they walked into the conference room. The clients were already sitting there along with Bob and one of the administrative assistants. Kelly and Andrew set up the boards and laptop. Then Andrew took a deep breath and began the pitch. Kelly sat back and watched him. He was brilliant. The longer she listened to him, the less nervous she became. He was right, this was a done deal; they had really pulled off something amazing. By the time Kelly got up to speak, the butterflies in her stomach were completely gone.
After the presentation, the clients asked a few questions, looked at each other, and smiled. Finally, the CEO stood and shook Kelly’s hand, then Andrew’s. “Well, you two, you certainly know how to close a deal,” he said. Then the clients gathered their things, promised to be in touch, and left the conference room. Bob immediately came up to them and smiled broadly.
“You two are the perfect team. I’ve never seen anything like it. I may have to put you together on the next big account and let you work your magic again. I’ve got another meeting, but I just wanted to tell you great job and congratulations. Like I said, I know my people.”
Promptly at 6:00, Megan knocked on Kelly’s office door. “Turn off that computer. It’s time for your dinner. And I hear it’s going to be a celebration. I told you that you would knock their socks off.”
“Thanks, I am ready to get out of here. After a big presentation, I always have this tired feeling of relief.”
“No sleepyheads tonight,” Megan teased. “We’re going to party.”
Kelly called Mike on her cell before they left and told him that several coworkers wanted to take her out to eat. He congratulated her and said, “Stay out as late as you want. You’ve worked hard, and you deserve some celebrating. I’m going to go into the office, but I can get Stacy from down the street to watch the kids. Oh, and congratulations again.”
Before going to the restaurant, Megan followed Kelly to the house so that Kelly could leave her car there. Kelly didn’t want to leave it in the parking deck so late. By the time Megan and Kelly arrived at Reye’s, several colleagues were seated at the table. They waved Kelly and Megan over. Andrew had saved them seats.
“Congratulations, Kelly,” Jenny said. “Andrew was just telling us about your amazing performance.”
“Well,” Kelly replied, “That was just because he warmed up the crowd.”
“Boy, we have mutual admiration society going on here, don’t we?” Bob joked.
The waiter came then, and everyone ordered their dinner. Megan reminded Kelly that dinner Kelly’s dinner was on her. Kelly ordered a beef taco salad and a large margarita. “Wow,” Megan said, “you were serious about getting drunk, weren’t you?”
“It’s just one,” Kelly protested good-naturedly.
Andrew shook his head. “A large here is like three. This should be interesting. I never thought I would see Kelly Bowling plastered.”
Kelly stuck out her tongue at him and turned to Jenny. “So how are you? I haven’t talked to you in a while. Did you all move into your new house yet?”
“Yes,” Jenny replied with excitement. “We moved in two weeks ago, and I love it. Especially the bathroom.”
Kelly smiled. “Oooh, tell me about it. I love big bathrooms.”
“This one is unbelievable,” Jenny said. “Bob told me to do whatever I wanted in the master bath. It’s got a big garden tub and one of those showers with sprays coming from almost every direction.”
Bob raised his glass. “The shower is big enough for two,” he smiled mischievously.
“Good grief, Bob,” Kelly said, blushing. “They don’t need to know that.” Everyone laughed and raised their eyebrows at Bob.
The dinner was a relaxing affair, everyone talking and laughing and catching up on each other’s lives. Kelly ordered a medium margarita, which caused Megan and Andrew to raise their eyebrows. She began to feel a little fuzzy after that, so she switched to diet coke.
At 9:00, Megan looked at her watch and said. “Kelly, I think I should go home. I have to get up at 5:00. Are you ready, or do you want to catch a ride with someone else?”
Kelly thought for a minute. “I’d like to stay, but I don’t want to put anyone else out.”
“That’s okay. I’ll give you a ride.” Andrew volunteered.
Kelly’s heart did a slight flip-flop. “Sure, thanks.”
They moved to the bar with the other agents, chatting and watching the bad karaoke singers – Friday was always karaoke night. As the night wore on, one by one the rest of Kelly’s colleagues said goodbye and headed home. Kelly and Andrew continued talking. Kelly felt drawn to him. She knew he didn’t feel that way. But she had nursed her fantasy for so long it didn’t really matter. It was all she could do not to blurt out her attraction. Andrew checked his watch as Kelly finished another diet coke.
“It’s nearly 11:00. Are you ready to go home, or would you like another drink before we leave?” Andrew asked.
“I guess it’s late enough. I should probably get back home.”
They climbed into Andrew’s car, and he teased, “I guess we could always catch a late movie – just not anything that makes you cry.”
For some reason, as the backed out of the parking place, Kelly made an impulsive decision. She knew Andrew was just being friendly, but suddenly she couldn’t stand the curiosity. She had never been one not to speak her mind. “Actually, if you wouldn’t mind driving around for a little while, there’s something I would like to talk to you about.”
“Okay, what’s up?”
“Well,” Kelly took a deep breath. “First of all I want you to know I have no expectations. But something has been on my mind for a while and I can’t seem to shake it. Maybe if I completely humiliate myself I will get it out of my system
.”
“I have no idea what you are talking about.”
Somewhere inside, Kelly heard a voice telling her to drop it. But she ignored it. She was tired of feeling invisible, whether it was her imagination or not. “We’ve been friends for a while, and you are such a great person. Well, I can’t believe I am saying this out loud, but I have started feeling….” She looked out the window, too embarrassed to continue
“What? You can tell me, I don’t judge people.”
“Okay, but there is no pressure. I know you don’t feel the same way. The bottom line is I am very attracted to you. I have been for a while. I know it’s stupid, and I know you do not see me that way. Don’t worry. I think that maybe if I come clean and actually hear you say you’re flattered but you do not feel that way, I can lick my wounds and get over it. So there, I said it. Please don’t throw me out of the car. Just tell me you are not attracted to me and we’ll go on with life.”
Andrew drove in silence for a moment. Kelly wished that she had kept her mouth shut. She felt sick at her stomach. She had just ruined their friendship.
“I can’t tell you that, Kelly,” Andrew finally said.
“Can’t tell me what?”
“I can’t tell you I am not attracted to you.”
Kelly felt her heart begin pounding wildly in her chest. “You mean…”
“Yes, I’m attracted to you too. I wasn’t ever going to tell you, but since it’s out there.”
“I can’t believe it. That is just so weird.”
“You sell yourself short, Kelly. Why do you do that?”
Kelly thought for a moment. In the back of her mind, she knew the alcohol had impaired her judgment, making her too eager to spill her problems. But Andrew seemed genuine, and she really wanted to talk to someone.
“Well, I guess…it’s because Mike just doesn’t feel that way about me anymore. That’s just over for him.”
“Really? I can’t believe that’s true.” Andrew looked at her for a moment, and then turned his attention back to the road. “It seems like a lot of my married friends go through that. Maybe it’s just a phase.”
“A phase that lasts two years? We’re just roommates, and that’s pretty much how life will probably be from here on out.”
“I’m sorry Kelly. I didn’t know.”
“Yeah well,” Kelly sighed. “So you don’t hate me? We’re still friends?”
“Of course we are. I don’t think any less of you for being honest. That takes guts.”
“Well, I told you while we were in the car, so I wouldn’t have to wonder if you were going to kiss me or kick me out the passenger’s side,” Kelly laughed, trying to lighten the moment.
“Well, I’ve got my hands on the steering wheel, so I can’t exactly do either, can I?” Andrew teased, not looking at her.
Kelly’s heart flip-flopped again. They talked for a few more minutes about Kelly and her marriage. “I better get home. It’s nearly midnight.”
“Me too.”
They drove in silence until they reached Kelly’s house. She put her hand on the door and then turned to Andrew. “Should I not have told you this?”
“No, I’m glad you told me. I respect that you have the courage to be honest.”
“So we’re okay?”
“Of course we’re okay. Good night, Kelly”
“You too, Andrew,” and with that, Kelly got out of the car and went into her house.
Kelly spent most of that night lying awake and replaying her conversation with Andrew. He was attracted to her. Sure, nothing could ever come of it, but Andrew was attracted to her. Even if they could never act on the attraction, it made her feel good. She wasn’t invisible after all. The next morning, she checked her email, and there was a message from Andrew:
“Ok. So I need to respond in some way after what you told me. Not sure how. I will say that you are a much braver person that I am. I would never be able to do what you did. Instead I send emails because I don’t have to sit there scared and vulnerable. I will say that I am not in love with you. But I do care about you as a friend. I don’t say this to hurt your feelings, but maybe it will help you to extinguish your fantasy of me. However I can’t say that I have not fantasized about you. Over the past year or so you have grown more and more attractive and I (as well as everybody else) have taken notice. So I will say that you have been the subject of many of my fantasies. Why do I say this? Because in your conversation you kept saying something like, ‘But I know nothing will ever happen’ or ‘I know you don’t feel the same way.’ Don’t say nothing will happen because I don’t see you that way or because you are unattractive. Don’t say those things because both of those things are untrue. Sure nothing should happen but that doesn’t mean you were the only person thinking about stuff. I say this because I don’t want you to feel awkward. You put yourself out there and that was very brave. So now you have the dirt on me. Now you can’t feel embarrassed because I am just as embarrassed.
Well later
-Andrew”
Kelly’s hands shook and she couldn’t help but smiling. She probably should have deleted the email, but it made her feel so good, she just couldn’t. Andrew had fantasized about her. She reread the message and closed out her email, knowing it wouldn’t be the last time she read it.