“The children and I have never discussed it,” Nell told him, “although I’m almost convinced they heard something about it after Richard’s accident. But they didn’t ask and I didn’t volunteer any information. For all I know, Jeremy and Emma know everything there is to know about the town.”
“I won’t say anything in their presence if that’s what you think is best.” He wanted to reassure Nell that he was worthy of her trust, that her confidence in him was well placed.
“There’s something else,” Nell said, her expression growing truly somber now. She turned and looked away as though she found Dot Com’s antics of sudden interest.
“You can speak to me about anything you want, Nell.”
“I have no right to ask you this.”
“Ask me, anyway,” he insisted gently. He suspected she was wondering about his divorce. She glanced at him, and he saw the gratitude in her eyes.
“It’s natural to be curious about me,” he encouraged. “I feel the same way about you. I like you, Nell, a great deal, and I’d welcome the opportunity to deepen our friendship.”
She hung her head, and he was sure he’d embarrassed her.
“Ask me,” he urged.
“Travis…please, don’t go. That’s what I’m asking.”
“You don’t want me to go to Bitter End?” He couldn’t fathom why, after everything that had been said.
“I’ve never told anyone this—not even Jake.” She faced him, meeting his eyes steadily. “Once, as a child, I heard my parents talking about the town. I was young and impressionable, and I’ve never forgotten it.”
“What did they say?”
She shook her head. “I don’t recall exactly. All I can remember is they were worried that one day I’d ask questions about it and find it myself. They’d decided not to mention it until I came to them.”
“Which is what you’ve planned to do with your own children.”
Apparently she hadn’t made the connection because her eyes widened as she recognized the truth. “You don’t understand, Travis, my father was a big man. Nothing intimidated him—but he was terrified of Bitter End.”
“He’d been there?” Travis asked.
Nell nodded. “Once, with a bunch of his friends. Whatever he saw or experienced disturbed him, and he was anxious to protect me.”
“Is that what you’re trying to do for me, Nell?”
She nodded, then shrugged. “You’re from New York City—what do you know about the Old West? There are dangers you wouldn’t understand.”
“I’ll be with Grady.”
“Yes, but…”
“Does this mean you care about me?” He wanted to hear her admit it.
“Of course I care about you,” she returned impatiently. “I care about everyone.”
“It’d do wonders for my ego if you’d admit you cared for me in a more…personal way,” he said, loving the way her cheeks instantly filled with color.
She frowned, dismissing his remark. “Call Grady and tell him you’ve changed your mind,” she pleaded urgently.
It hurt Travis to refuse Nell anything.
Her eyes held his and her fingers squeezed his arm.
“I have to go,” he told her with genuine regret. “I’d do almost anything for you, but what you ask is impossible.” Even as he spoke, he knew he’d disappointed her.
Another woman might have responded with anger. That had been Val’s reaction when she didn’t get her way. Not Nell’s. Instead, she offered him a resigned smile. He could tell from the closed expression on her face that she’d retreated emotionally.
He was about to argue, explain himself, when the screen door opened and Ruth appeared, holding the cordless phone.
“For you, Travis,” she said. “It’s Grady Weston.”
Travis took the phone and lifted it to his ear. “Hello,” he said crisply, damning the other man’s timing.
“Problems,” Grady said, skipping the usual chitchat. “I’ve got a water pump down. Which means I’m not going to be able to take you out to Bitter End this afternoon.”
Damn, Travis thought. It wasn’t Grady’s fault, but his time here was limited; not only that, he felt he’d just fought—and won—a dreadful battle asserting his need and his right to go there, and now the opportunity had been snatched away.
“Savannah’s been though,” Grady continued.
Travis was shocked. Surely Grady didn’t expect a new mother to go traipsing all over the countryside!
“She could draw you a decent map,” Grady said, “and give you some directions. Then you could find it on your own.”
Travis’s sagging spirits buoyed. “Good idea. I’ll give Savannah a call.”
“I apologize if this puts you out any.”
“I’ll find it on my own, don’t worry.”
They ended the conversation in the same abrupt way they’d started it.
Ruth and Nell were both watching him when he finished. “Grady’s got problems with a water pump.”
“But you’re going, anyway,” Nell said, and her lovely face tightened.
“Yes, I’m going, anyway.”
Nell nodded sadly, then turned and walked away.
GRADY WAS LATE GETTING BACK to the ranch for dinner, and Caroline found herself glancing out the window every few minutes. Shortly after she’d arrived home from the post office, Savannah had phoned, explaining that a water pump had broken. Both Laredo and Grady were working on it, and neither man was likely to be home soon.
Caroline hadn’t been a rancher’s wife long, but she’d lived around cattlemen most of her life. Caring for the herd took priority over just about everything. The herd was the family’s livelihood and their future.
Savannah had mentioned something else, too, and that was the reason Caroline awaited Grady’s return so anxiously. Her sister-in-law had told her Nell’s dude-ranch guest knew Richard.
Caroline was astonished by the apprehension those few words could bring her. She hadn’t realized Richard held such power over her. It’d been months since they’d last heard news of him. Richard had been nothing but a source of heartache for the family—and for her.
The fact that Nell’s would-be cowboy was an acquaintance of Richard’s explained a great deal. Grady had been restless and short-tempered the night before, tossing and turning. Caroline had awakened around two and found him sitting on the porch in the very spot his father had once favored. He hugged her close, kissed her, then after a few minutes, sent her back to bed.
Caroline had known something was troubling him, but not what. He’d tell her, as he always did, when he was ready. That was how Grady operated. But now she had reason to suspect that his recent bout of restlessness was somehow connected to Richard.
At six Caroline ate dinner with Maggie and put a plate aside for Grady. Maggie was playing with her dolls in her bedroom when Grady and Wiley, their foreman, rode into the yard.
Caroline moved onto the porch and savored the sight of her husband, sitting his horse with natural ease. His dog, Bones, trotted along behind. Bones was the grandson of Grady’s beloved old dog, Rocket, who’d died the previous year. He looked a great deal like his granddaddy. The minute he’d been born, Grady had picked him out of the litter and trained him personally.
Her heart swelled with pride and love as she watched her husband dismount and head into the barn.
“Welcome home,” she said when he returned a short time later. His steps were slow and heavy and she knew how tired he must be.
Grady’s face revealed his pleasure at being home and finding her waiting for him. Caroline held her arms open. Grady didn’t hesitate to walk into them and hold her tight.
“The pump’s working?” she asked.
“Good as new,” he said as he released her.
“You hungry?”
“Starving,” he growled.
“Then wash up and I’ll warm dinner for you.”
When he came back into the room he seemed revived. Wea
ring a lazy grin, he said, “Maggie’s decided on a name for the baby.”
Months earlier Grady had allowed the child to name a newborn colt—which he’d subsequently given her for her sixth birthday—and she’d chosen Moonbeam. When they learned Caroline was pregnant, Maggie had assumed she’d be naming her little brother or sister, as well. No amount of explaining could convince her otherwise.
Caroline could just imagine the name her daughter had chosen. “I’m afraid to ask.”
“For a boy, she’s decided on Buckwheat.”
“Buckwheat?”
“And for a girl, Darla.”
“Ah.” Caroline understood now. The television had been on earlier that afternoon and Maggie had been watching reruns of Our Gang.
“I’ll talk to her again,” Caroline promised, thinking she’d let Maggie go through the baby-name book with her. She wanted her daughter to feel part of things, but Maggie needed to understand that the ultimate decision rested with her and Grady.
“I don’t know,” Grady said with a thoughtful look. He pulled out a kitchen chair and sat down. “Buckwheat has a nice ring to it, don’t you think? Buckwheat Weston. And we wouldn’t need to worry about any other kids in his class having the same name.”
“Grady!”
Her husband chuckled, reaching for his fork.
Caroline poured herself a glass of iced tea and sat down across from him. “I talked to Savannah this afternoon,” she said, hoping he’d bring up the subject of Richard.
Grady didn’t so much as blink as he took his first bite of pork chop.
If anything bothered him, he didn’t show it. Nothing, it seemed, would deter him from enjoying his meal. A man had his priorities, thought Caroline with wry amusement. He’d wait until he’d finished his meal.
“Did Savannah mention that Travis Grant knows Richard?” he finally asked.
Caroline nodded.
“You weren’t going to say anything?” He regarded her quizzically; her silence seemed to surprise him.
“I knew you’d mention it eventually.”
Grady reached for his coffee and held the mug between both hands. “It bothers me knowing my brother’s in prison,” he admitted. “God knows it’s what Richard deserves…” He leaned forward, set the mug aside and reached for Caroline’s hand. He looked into her eyes and she felt his love, stronger than anything she’d ever known.
“I couldn’t sleep last night,” he told her.
“I know.”
“I didn’t understand it, not at first. Every time I closed my eyes, Richard was there. Damn it, this is my brother, my little brother. Mom and Dad would have wanted me to look out for him, but—”
“No.” Caroline shook her head and tightened her fingers around his. She believed that Grady’s parents would have wanted Richard to accept responsibility for his own actions. She told him so.
“Deep down I realize that,” Grady said and released a deep sigh. “But last night I realized something else.” He lowered his gaze. “I’m afraid of Richard.”
“Afraid?”
Grady nodded. “It’s idiotic, I know, but those fears seemed very real in the dead of night.”
“But why? He’s locked away. He can’t hurt us or—”
“My greatest fear,” Grady said, interrupting her, “is that one day he’ll try to take away what is most precious to me. You, Maggie and the baby.”
“Oh, Grady, it’d never, never happen.”
“I know it doesn’t make sense. But remember that one of Richard’s great pleasures was grabbing whatever he thought anyone else wanted,” he said bitterly. “Especially something that was important to me.”
“Grady, don’t you know how much I love you?” she demanded. Had the situation been reversed, though, she suspected she’d feel exactly the same. All she could think to do was reassure him.
Standing, Caroline walked to the other side of the table and sat on his lap. She draped her arms around his neck, then lowered her mouth to his. Their kisses grew in length and intensity, stoking fires of need.
“I’ve changed my mind,” Maggie announced as she stepped into the kitchen. She clutched some small stuffed animals in her arms. “Buckwheat is a dumb name for a boy.”
Caroline sighed and pressed her forehead against Grady’s shoulder.
“I was just getting attached to it,” he said, sounding almost like his normal self. “Do you have any other ideas?”
“Beanie,” the six-year-old suggested next. “We’re gonna have our own Beanie baby.”
Caroline groaned and Grady chuckled.
DINNERTIME CAME AND WENT and Travis had yet to return. Nell did the dishes but kept her eye trained on the dirt road that wound down from the two-lane highway. He’d been gone the better part of seven hours.
“Are you worried?” Ruth asked as Nell dried her hands on a dishtowel.
“About what?” she asked, pretending she didn’t know what Ruth was talking about. She hated being this transparent, but she couldn’t stop worrying about Travis. He’d gone in search of Bitter End all on his own, despite her request that he give up this stupid search. It hurt that he’d refused to heed her advice. It’d taken every ounce of pride she possessed to ask him to stay away.
Now this.
“You’ve been looking at the clock every five minutes,” Ruth pointed out. “Travis will be back any moment—there’s no need to worry.”
“How can you be sure?” Nell asked in a rare display of temper. Anything could have happened. Anything. The scenarios that flashed through her mind saw him dead and bleeding at the side of the road. Or inside a collapsed building, like Richard.
“Did you phone Savannah and Grady?” Ruth returned.
In her panic Nell hadn’t thought to contact them. It made all the sense in the world that Travis would stop off and discuss what he’d discovered with Grady. She was surprised she hadn’t thought of it herself. Foolish, that was what she’d been. Foolish and histrionic.
Her heart leaped with renewed hope. Casting her mother-in-law an apologetic glance, Nell reached for the cordless phone. Caroline answered on the second ring.
“Hi, it’s Nell,” she announced cheerfully. “I don’t suppose Travis Grant is there?”
If Caroline was surprised to hear from her, she didn’t let it show. “No, Nell, we haven’t seen him.”
“Not at all?” Nell couldn’t hide the apprehension in her voice.
“Is everything all right?” Caroline asked.
“I’m sure it is,” Nell replied, making light of her concern. By sheer willpower she forced her pulse to return to normal. This not knowing was hell. Hell! “I expected he’d be back before now, that’s all. I’m sure everything’s all right.”
They chatted a few minutes longer and Nell promised she’d phone back if Travis hadn’t shown up at Twin Canyons by nine.
Nine o’clock. Nell glanced at the clock on the stove. Two more hours. The day’s light was already beginning to fade. She didn’t know what Ruth thought when she said she was going out to look for him herself. But she figured she’d go stir-crazy waiting another minute; another two hours was out of the question.
She grabbed the truck keys off the peg on the back-porch wall and was out the door. A sense of urgency filled her, a combination of anger and fear.
If anything had happened to him, she swore she’d give every pair of socks he owned to Yucky. The man was a fool to traipse across unfamiliar territory.
It wasn’t until she was at the top of the drive, the truck’s headlights stretching across the paved highway, that she remembered she didn’t know where Bitter End was or how to get there. Making a quick decision, she headed south toward the Weston spread. From what Caroline had just told her, Travis had gone to Savannah for directions.
Nell left the engine running when she arrived at Savannah and Laredo’s home. She leaped out of the cab and raced across the yard.
Savannah met her at the door and said, “Caroline phoned and said no one
’s heard from Travis.”
“Not a word?”
“No. But I drew him a map,” Savannah said.
“Can you draw me one, too?” Nell asked.
“Of course.” Savannah led the way into the kitchen.
Nell followed, her heart pounding.
“You’re worried, aren’t you?” Savannah asked.
Nell nodded, afraid if she said anything, her voice would crack. Damn it, she was beginning to really care about that greenhorn. Which infuriated her because she didn’t want to care about him. He’d drifted into their lives and would drift out again. A few weeks after he left, Jeremy and Emma would probably have trouble remembering his name.
Not Nell. It would take her much longer to forget Travis Grant.
“That map took a long time to draw, and I don’t want to keep you waiting,” Savannah said, reaching for a pad and pencil. “I’ll have to give you a rough sketch.” She bent to her task, and in a minute the job was done. “You should be able to figure it out from this.”
Savannah’s hurried map wasn’t ideal, but it gave Nell something to go on.
“Would you like me to come with you?” Laredo asked, joining the two women.
“No.” Nell couldn’t see any reason to drag him into the night.
“You’re sure?”
“Positive. Thanks for your help,” Nell said. She bounded out of the house and back into the truck.
Savannah and Laredo came to stand by the back door, silhouetted in the light that spilled from the kitchen. Nell realized she hadn’t been able to hide her feelings from them any more than she’d concealed them from Ruth. Heart still pounding, she waved goodbye, then turned back up the drive.
In situations like this, she knew she had to face her worst fear. Recognizing what it was came easy because she’d encountered it once before.
Her greatest fear was finding that Travis had been hurt or killed.
“Dear God, no,” she pleaded aloud, her mouth dry with horror. Not again. Finding Jake crushed beneath the tractor had forever changed her. It had nearly destroyed her, too.
The tears gathering in her eyes infuriated her, and she roughly swiped them away with the back of her hand.