Fortune smiles on me, however.
One of the class teachers ask him to deliver a message to another class being held on the other side of the school.
A few minutes later, I act like I’m having a headache, feeling dizzy.
‘Could I just have a few minutes outside to get some fresh air, please miss?’ I ask.
How can she refuse ‘Miracle Coma Girl’?
I catch Paul on his way back to the classroom.
‘Paul, look, I know things between us hasn’t been great; but could I just ask you something before you go back in?’
He looks a bit doubtful, like he’s going to refuse.
But he stops, says ‘Okay, fire away.’
As with the teacher, there’s a look in his eyes that says he realises it’s not the done thing to refuse ‘Coma Girl’.
‘This is a bit awkward, for both of us, I know,’ I begin unsurely. ‘But look, I just want to know, because I couldn’t understand it; why wouldn’t you ever go out with me? Am I really that terrible a person to be refused the way you did? I mean, you didn’t just say no; you made out I was crazy for even thinking I could be friends with you. Let alone go out with you!’
I just about blurt all the last lines out, like I know if I stop now I’m going to leave things unsaid.
This way, it all just pours out. More or less unstoppably once I get going.
Fact is, the only reason I do stop is because of the look of surprise on Paul’s face.
See, it’s not just a normal look of surprise; it’s also a pained look, like he’s struggling with himself to either hold back or let loose with his own stream of unstoppable words.
‘I’m sorry Gillian; but it’s worked out for the best, don’t you think, me being with Dedi? I mean, it would never have worked, me and you, would it, do you think? You…you couldn’t stand up for yourself, could you? You let Dedi and everyone wear you down, get at you. If…if I’d gone out with you, how would it have been for me? I’d’ve been the same, wouldn’t I? I’d’ve been picked on too.’
He hangs his head. He realises he’s said too much. More than he intended.
He can’t look me in the eyes.
‘I…I couldn’t stand that; not being popular.’
‘So, that’s it? Let me get this right; you did like me? But you were worried that just being seen with me would; what? Bring Dedi’s scorn down on you?’
He tries to raise his head, to look at me once again.
He can’t.
His head droops again.
He nod’s weakly.
‘I saw how it was for you, Gillian. I couldn’t live like that; everyone ganging up on me. Treating me like I was some sort of leper.’
‘And it didn’t dawn on you that together, once I had your support, we’d have been able to fight it?’
He shakes his head.
‘You can’t fight it; Dedi, she’s got power over everyone. Everyone does what she says.’
‘Including you, yeah? Top sportsman Paul Green, scared of a bunch of girls.’
‘I…’
He fades off, incapable of explaining himself.
‘You’re pathetic, you know that Paul?’
He manages to raise his head, a proud, defiant look on his face.
‘I’m with Dedi now. You can’t get higher than that!’
He says it like it’s a major achievement.
‘I suppose we’d better return to class.’
It’s all I can think of saying.
I’m drained.
Shocked.
Paul wasn’t worth Gillian’s love.
He wasn’t worth anything.
*
I’m glad Gillian wasn’t sitting by me back in Heartache High as I’d finally confronted Paul.
How much would it have hurt her, hearing Paul’s pathetic excuse for failing to treat her decently?
It all came down to Dedi’s bullying. To the weakness of even seemingly highly-confident boys like Paul.
We all want to be liked.
All want to be accepted.
‘What do you think you’re doing, talking to Paul like that?’
The harsh, accusing cry jerks me out of my thoughts.
I whirl around.
It’s Dedi, purposely striding across the grass towards me.
Her anger, her sternness, her determined march, have all negated her femininity; in its place is a more masculine presence, a wirily muscular frame I’ve never noticed before.
Just behind her, looking equally as stern, are Kath and Verity.
‘You don’t talk to Paul unless I say you can, get that?’
Going by Dedi’s thunderous face and furious yell, it was obvious that the bullying Gillian had suffered for so long was about to start again.
*
Chapter 15
I quickly glance about me, hoping that there are enough people nearby to ensure Dedi and her friend’s aren’t tempted to push their bullying too far.
What do you know? There’s no one around.
Sure, it could be that I’ve been so deep in thought after my encounter with Paul that I’ve wandered away from everyone else.
But there’s no real reason why this part of the school’s grounds should be so deserted, other than that it’s been deliberately avoided.
No doubt word swiftly circulated that Dedi’s amnesty was over.
Just as Paul had deliberately avoided being seen with Gillian, fearing Dedi’s wrath and torments, the rest of the school have made sure they’ve stayed clear of me.
They don’t want to see whatever it is that Dedi’s got in store for me.
They don’t want to suffer the embarrassment of ignoring my pleas for help.
‘Why did you come back? I told you not to come back!’
She’s stopped right in front of me, her face right in mine even though I’ve instinctively backed off a little.
‘I can’t remember,’ I say honestly. ‘I can’t remember you saying I should stay away.’
I look to Kath and Verity, wondering if there might be a slim chance of help from them if things turn nasty.
Their faces are blank, emotionless.
Whatever they’re thinking, whether it’s anger or pity or shame, they don’t want anyone to know.
Dedi reaches out a clawed hand as if she’s going to grasp me tightly around my forehead – but then her hand drops away as she fleetingly looks Kath and Verity’s way.
It’s odd; it’s almost as if their presence held her back from completing her move. Even though I can’t see that they would have bothered stopping her.
‘Look, I couldn’t care less about Paul anymore,’ I say, ‘if that’s what this is about.’
She sneers.
‘Paul? Huh; you must know this is much bigger than that!’
‘Huh? Sorry Dedi; I swear I don’t know what you mean.’
Strange thing is, Kath and Verity appear as confused by Dedi’s comment as I am.
Dedi isn’t blind to our swapping of bewildered glances.
She turns on her friends irately.
‘Look you two; you can go! I can handle this easily enough myself!’
They back off with relief, like their hearts are no longer in this bullying.
Bullying ‘Coma Girl.’
It’s hardly a thing to be proud of, is it?
As they thankfully stride away, Dedi cries after them.
‘Just make sure no one comes near!’
Now, those are not the kind of words you like to hear, are they?
*
Chapter 16
‘Do you what me to send you back, like I did last time?’
She glares at me with eyes that feel like they’re slicing through my skull.
‘Dedi, look, I really don’t know what you’re on about! I was in a coma, remember?’
‘Sure I remember! That’s what I’m on about! Do you want me to put you into a coma again?’
‘You?’
I just abo
ut laugh in surprise. Surprise that she could flatter herself that she could just put someone into a coma so easily.
Or…is it that she beat Gillian up so badly last time, she really had put her into a coma?
But no one mentioned that Gillian looked as if she had been badly beaten.
As I’d heard it, she was just found in the street. Unconscious.
No one had any idea what had caused it.
If she had been badly beaten, obviously everyone would have put that down as being the cause.
So, no; Gillian hadn’t been placed in a coma by a horrendous beating.
‘You didn’t put me in a coma Dedi!’ I say.
She pulls back a little, eyes me curiously.
She chuckles harshly.
‘You really don’t remember do you? Hah; of course! I should have realised. But then, I wasn’t really expecting you to come back was I?’
Across the grass, a bell rings.
The end of the break.
Dedi looks back towards where the classrooms lie.
She looks back at me.
Her face creases in scorn.
‘I suppose it would be a bit obvious to do it again, to do it here.’
She turns. She heads back across the grass in an unhurried stroll.
‘I want you to leave,’ she says over her shoulder. ‘Otherwise, believe me, I’ll put you back in your coma!’
*
‘Why does she think she can do it; put someone in a coma? She seemed sure enough that she could do it too.’
As I ask Gillian this, she pulls a puzzled frown.
‘It doesn’t make any sense,’ she agrees. ‘I was just found unconscious on the street. It didn’t have anything to do with her.’
‘Correct me if I’m wrong, but no one’s mentioned that you’d been beaten up, right?’
Of course, Gillian couldn’t remember anything about falling into a coma. Like me, the only information we had to go on was whatever Heddy or her dad had told me.
Gillian shakes her head.
‘There aren’t any signs of a beating on my body are there? Any beating bad enough to send me into a coma would have left enough damage for it to be noticed by someone. The police would have been involved.’
I nod.
‘Yep, that’s what I thought too.’
I’d explained to Gillian everything that had happened to me recently. I’d apologised that I’d finally confronted Paul while she was taking lunch at the refectory; I’d had to take the chance when it had arisen, and couldn’t afford to wait for another opportunity.
‘Dedi’s always been an evil little thing,’ Gillian says. ‘But beating someone so badly it puts them in a coma? I don’t think that even Dedi’s got that in her.’
‘I agree; even so, I think I’d better try and avoid her for a while. I get the impression she’s itching for a fight.’
*
Chapter 17
Unfortunately, avoiding Dedi isn’t as easy as I’d hoped.
As I’d made my way home from school (I’d told Gillian’s dad I preferred walking, as it would help build up my strength once more) I should have realised something was odd; there weren’t any other kids from school anywhere to be seen.
Which meant, of course, that someone had managed to drop a hint to them all to avoid the areas between school and Gillian’s house.
‘I thought I’d told you I didn’t want to see you around anymore!’
This time as I turn around in response to the angry yell, I know who it’s going to be; Dedi.
This time, though, she’s on her own.
I reckon that isn’t a good sign, going by what happened last time; it seemed to be Kath and Verity’s presence that had held her back from launching a full-out attack on me.
This time, too, we’re not in the school grounds, and no one’s around to say for sure that Dedi and me had been seen together. So if I’m left a bloody mess on the floor, well; who knows who it could have been who attacked me, eh?
Sure, once I’d recovered enough I could always tell everyone it was Dedi; which is the sure way to bring evermore vengeful attacks down on me, right?
No, no matter what happens, I’m on my own.
Once again, I haven’t even got Gillian sitting alongside me back in my Heartache High bedsit; I’d told her to get out and enjoy herself for a while.
Said, Hey, what sort of interesting things do you think are going to happen on the way home from school?
Dedi stands in front of me, hands on hips, her face right in mine once more.
This time, I don’t back off.
‘I must be getting soft!’ she storms. ‘When you came back, I thought let her be; she’s learned her lesson. She won’t get in my face again. She knows she’s lost. But no; you have to talk to Paul, don’t you? Hoping to rekindle that love he had for you!’
‘Paul’s never loved me; he was always too scared of you. He’s pathetic, you ask me. You can have him!’
It was the wrong thing to say.
Dedi’s wide-eyed with fury.
‘You can have him? Like he’s your gift to give?’
‘Look, sorry; I didn’t mean it that way.’
It doesn’t appease her.
She looks me over scornfully.
‘You know who’s really pathetic? You! I mean, look at you; you’re gorgeous!’
Wow, that I was not expecting!
‘I mean, you really have no idea, do you, what I could do with a body like that? A supermodel? Hah, forget that! I could be the most famous woman on earth! An empress–’
‘An empress?’
Where had I heard that very same claim recently?
‘You doubt it?’ She’s more furious than ever.
‘No, no. I mean, I bet you could create an empire, couldn’t you?’
This takes her back. She looks surprised, curious.
She steps back slightly, appraising me in a new, different way.
Like she’s no longer quite so sure that she knows exactly what she’s dealing with.
Like she realises there’s an understanding between us.
A connection.
‘So,’ she says calmly, ‘just how did you get back from Heartache High?’
*
Chapter 18
‘You knew that’s where I was? Heartache High?’
‘Sure; I sent you there, didn’t I?’
‘You? But how? You’re not here, in this body.’
I indicate Gillian’s body with a wave of a hand. With another wave, I point at Dedi.
‘You’re there, in Dedi’s body. You’re a succubus, right?’
It seems a fair assumption to make, all things considered.
It also explains Paul’s increasingly wasted look; Dedi’s feeding of his spirit, his emotions. Feeding off him ravenously.
Dedi’s face creases in surprise, then amusement.
‘Things are coming on at Heartache High, aren’t they? You’ve actually begun to figure out why you’re all there?’
‘You’d be surprised what we know.’ I try to sound far more assured than I actually am. ‘But, I’ve got to admit; when it comes to Gillian – er, to me – it’s different isn’t it? You didn’t take me over.’
‘Hah, no such luck! Instead I had to make do with this sinewy monstrosity of a girl! Do you know how hard it was to do anything with it? You might think it doesn’t look too bad now, but before I moved in? – what a mess! No wonder she took to bullying! And with someone like you around? Well, Dedi’s built for intimidation, isn’t she? So I had to develop her most potent weapon against you.’
Without warning, she whips up a hand towards my face.
She’s snake-like fast.
Her hand grips like a claw around the top of my head. It feels like she could crush my skull if she wanted to.
Even my brain feels like it’s under attack.
If it could, it would scream out in agony.
As it is, I’m incapable of screaming. The pain
is so pointed, so intense, my jaw feels frozen into place.
I’m feeling dizzy.
I’m slipping into a daze.
*
Chapter 19
‘What’s going on? You’re not Gillian!’
It’s Zerriesta. She’s inside my mind; inside Gillian’s mind
I instinctively know her name. In here, she’s an element of mind, not physical being.
That’s why I was losing consciousness. Not because the flow of blood was being cut off to my brain, as I’d thought, but because by holding my head in her vice-hard grip she’s somehow flooded into Gillian’s mind.
Just as when a succubus first takes over your body, I was being swiftly forced back into the deeper recesses of mind. Bundled off into a small compartment, where I could be effectively imprisoned.
That’s how Gillian had originally been put into a coma. Dedi must have confronted her out on the street, clamping her head in that unbreakable grip and plunging her into unconsciousness.
Who would expect such an attack? No one.
And Gillian would probably have been an easy target. She would have already partially withdrawn from life as she tried to come to terms with Paul’s inexplicably childish treatment of her.
It would have happened again too. Even I would have been forced back by Zerriesta’s irresistibly rapid advance through Gillian’s mind.
Fortunately, Zerriesta had been confused by the shock of encountering me residing in Gillian’s body, rather than the girl she had previously confronted.
It was enough of a pause to allow me to recover from the initial shock of her attack. Enough, too, to let me grasp what was happening.
‘I’m Stephanie Johnson,’ I say.
Of course, I don’t actually say it; I just think what I want to say, and hope that Zerriesta hears me.
I also hope Zerriesta can’t hear all my other thoughts. Even though that’s effectively all we both are now; thoughts, elements of mind, ideas, ideals, emotions.
All the non-physical components that really make us who we are.
‘Stephanie who? You’re not a Daughter of Lilith!’
Daughter of Lilith? Is that another name for the succubae?
I wish I had Jassy sitting by me back in my bedsit to keep me informed.
‘Lamia sent me,’ I lie.
‘Lamia?’
She repeats the name doubtfully. She sounds curious though.
‘She thinks you’re drawing too much attention to…the lamiae.’