A sense of menace had filled the silence on the line. For the first time in three weeks she felt isolated and somehow threatened, though there was no tangible reason for it. The chills wouldn’t stop running up and down her spine, and suddenly she had to get out of the house, into the hot sunshine. She had to see John, just be able to look at him and hear his deep voice roaring curses, or crooning gently to a horse or a frightened calf. She needed his heat to dispel the coldness of a menace she couldn’t define.
Two days later there was another phone call and again, by chance, she answered the phone. “Hello,” she said. “Rafferty residence.”
Silence.
Her hand began shaking. She strained her ears and heard that quiet, even breathing, then the click as the phone was hung up, and a moment later the dial tone began buzzing in her ear. She felt sick and cold, without knowing why. What was going on? Who was doing this to her?
Chapter Eight
MICHELLE PACED THE bedroom like a nervous cat, her silky hair swirling around her head as she moved. “I don’t feel like going,” she blurted. “Why didn’t you ask me before you told Addie we’d be there?”
“Because you’d have come up with one excuse after another why you couldn’t go, just like you’re doing now,” he answered calmly. He’d been watching her pace back and forth, her eyes glittering, her usually sinuous movements jerky with agitation. It had been almost a month since he’d moved her to the ranch, and she had yet to stir beyond the boundaries of his property, except to visit her own. He’d given her the keys to the Mercedes and free use of it, but to his knowledge she’d never taken it out. She hadn’t been shopping, though he’d made certain she had money. He had received the usual invitations to the neighborhood Saturday night barbecues that had become a county tradition, but she’d always found some excuse not to attend.
He’d wondered fleetingly if she were ashamed of having come down in the world, embarrassed because he didn’t measure up financially or in terms of sophistication with the men she’d known before, but he’d dismissed the notion almost before it formed. It wasn’t that. He’d come to know her better than that. She came into his arms at night too eagerly, too hungrily, to harbor any feelings that he was socially inferior. A lot of his ideas about her had been wrong. She didn’t look down on work, never had. She had simply been sheltered from it her entire life. She was willing to work. Damn it, she insisted on it! He had to watch her to keep her from trying her hand at bulldogging. He was as bad as her father had ever been, willing to do just about anything to keep her happy.
Maybe she was embarrassed because they were living together. This was a rural section, where mores and morality changed slowly. Their arrangement wouldn’t so much as raise an eyebrow in Miami or any other large city, but they weren’t in a large city. John was too self-assured and arrogant to worry about gossip; he thought of Michelle simply as his woman, with all the fierce possessiveness implied by the term. She was his. He’d held her beneath him and made her his, and the bond was reinforced every time he took her.
Whatever her reason for hiding on the ranch, it was time for it to end. If she were trying to hide their relationship, he wasn’t going to let her get away with it any longer. She had to become accustomed to being his woman. He sensed that she was still hiding something of herself from him, carefully preserving a certain distance between them, and it enraged him. It wasn’t a physical distance. Sweet Lord, no. She was liquid fire in his arms. The distance was mental; there were times when she was silent and withdrawn, the sparkle gone from her eyes, but whenever he asked her what was wrong she would stonewall, and no amount of probing would induce her to tell him what she’d been thinking.
He was determined to destroy whatever it was that pulled her away from him; he wanted all of her, mind and body. He wanted to hear her laugh, to make her lose her temper as he’d used to do, to hear the haughtiness and petulance in her voice. It was all a part of her, the part she wasn’t giving him now, and he wanted it. Damn it, was she tiptoeing around him because she thought she owed him?
She hadn’t stopped pacing. Now she sat down on the bed and stared at him, her lips set. “I don’t want to go.”
“I thought you liked Addie.” He pulled off his boots and stood to shrug out of his shirt.
“I do,” Michelle said.
“Then why don’t you want to go to her party? Have you even seen her since you’ve been back?”
“No, but Dad had just died, and I wasn’t in the mood to socialize! Then there was so much work to be done… .”
“You don’t have that excuse now.”
She glared at him. “I decided you were a bully when I was eighteen years old, and nothing you’ve done over the years has changed my opinion!”
He couldn’t stop the grin that spread over his face as he stripped off his jeans. She was something when she got on her high horse. Going over to the bed, he sat beside her and rubbed her back. “Just relax,” he soothed. “You know everyone who’ll be there, and it’s as informal as it always was. You used to have fun at these things, didn’t you? They haven’t changed.”
Michelle let him coax her into lying against his shoulder. She would sound crazy if she told him that she didn’t feel safe away from the ranch. He’d want to know why, and what could she tell him? That she’d had two phone calls and the other person wouldn’t say anything, just quietly hung up? That happened to people all the time when someone had dialed a wrong number. But she couldn’t shake the feeling that something menacing was waiting out there for her if she left the sanctuary of the ranch, where John Rafferty ruled supreme. She sighed, turning her face into his throat. She was overreacting to a simple wrong number; she’d felt safe enough all the time she’d been alone at her house. This was just another little emotional legacy from her marriage.
She gave in. “All right, I’ll go. What time does it start?”
“In about two hours.” He kissed her slowly, feeling the tension drain out of her, but he could still sense a certain distance in her, as if her mind were on something else, and frustration rose in him. He couldn’t pinpoint it, but he knew it was there.
Michelle slipped from his arms, shaking her head as she stood. “You gave me just enough time to get ready, didn’t you?”
“We could share a shower,” he invited, dropping his last garment at his feet. He stretched, his powerful torso rippling with muscle, and Michelle couldn’t take her eyes off him. “I don’t mind being late if you don’t.”
She swallowed. “Thanks, but you go ahead.” She was nervous about this party. Even aside from the spooky feeling those phone calls had given her, she wasn’t certain how she felt about going. She didn’t know how much the ranching crowd knew of her circumstances, but she certainly didn’t want anyone pitying her, or making knowing remarks about her position in John’s house. On the other hand, she didn’t remember anyone as being malicious, and she had always liked Addie Layfield and her husband, Steve. This would be a family oriented group, ranging in age from Frank and Yetta Campbell, in their seventies, to the young children of several families. People would sit around and talk, eat barbecue and drink beer, the children and some of the adults would swim, and the thing would break up of its own accord at about ten o’clock.
John was waiting for her when she came out of the bathroom after showering and dressing. She had opted for cool and comfortable, sleeking her wet hair straight back and twisting it into a knot, which she’d pinned at her nape, and she wore a minimum of makeup. She had on an oversize white cotton T-shirt, with the tail tied in a knot on one hip, and loose white cotton drawstring pants. Her sandals consisted of soles and two straps each. On someone else the same ensemble might have looked sloppy, but on Michelle it looked chic. He decided she could wear a feed sack and make it look good.
“Don’t forget your swimsuit,” he said, remembering that she had always gone swimming at these parties. She’d loved t
he water.
Michelle looked away, pretending to check her purse for something. “I’m not swimming tonight.”
“Why not?”
“I just don’t feel like it.”
Her voice had that flat, expressionless sound he’d come to hate, the same tone she used whenever he tried to probe into the reason she sometimes became so quiet and distant. He looked at her sharply, and his brows drew together. He couldn’t remember Michelle ever “not feeling” like swimming. Her father had put in a pool for her the first year they’d been in Florida, and she had often spent the entire day lolling in the water. After she’d married, the pool had gone unused and had finally been emptied. He didn’t think it had ever been filled again, and now it was badly in need of repairs before it would be usable.
But she’d been with him almost a month, and he didn’t think she’d been in his pool even once. He glanced out at the balcony; he could just see a corner of the pool, blue and glittering in the late-afternoon sun. He didn’t have much time for swimming, but he’d insisted, eight years ago, on having the big pool and its luxurious landscaping. For her. Damn it, this whole place was for her: the big house, the comforts, that pool, even the damn Mercedes. He’d built it for her, not admitting it to himself then because he couldn’t. Why wasn’t she using the pool?
Michelle could feel his sharpened gaze on her as they left the room, but he didn’t say anything and, relieved, she realized he was going to let it go. Maybe he just accepted that she didn’t feel like swimming. If he only knew how much she wanted to swim, how she’d longed for the feel of cool water on her overheated skin, but she just couldn’t bring herself to put on a bathing suit, even in the privacy of his house.
She knew that the little white scars were hardly visible now, but she still shrank from the possibility that someone might notice them. She still felt that they were glaringly obvious, even though the mirror told her differently. It had become such a habit to hide them that she couldn’t stop. She didn’t dress or undress in front of John if she could help it, and if she couldn’t, she always remained facing him, so he wouldn’t see her back. It was such a reversal of modesty that he hadn’t even noticed her reluctance to be nude in front of him. At night, in bed, it didn’t matter. If the lights were on, they were dim, and John had other things on his mind. Still she insisted on wearing a nightgown to bed. It might be off most of the night, but it would be on when she got out of bed in the mornings. Everything in her shrank from having to explain those scars.
The party was just as she had expected, with a lot of food, a lot of talk, a lot of laughter. Addie had once been one of Michelle’s best friends, and she was still the warm, talkative person she’d been before. She’d put on a little weight, courtesy of two children, but her pretty face still glowed with good humor. Steve, her husband, sometimes managed to put his own two cents into a conversation by the simple means of putting his hand over her mouth. Addie laughed more than anyone whenever he resorted to that tactic.
“It’s an old joke between us,” she told Michelle as they put together tacos for the children. “When we were dating, he’d do that so he could kiss me. Holy cow, you look good! Something must be agreeing with you, and I’d say that ‘something’ is about six-foot-three of pure hunk. God, I used to swoon whenever he spoke to me! Remember? You’d sniff and say he didn’t do anything for you. Liar, liar, pants on fire.” Addie chanted the childish verse, her eyes sparkling with mirth, and Michelle couldn’t help laughing with her.
On the other side of the pool, John’s head swiveled at the sound, and he froze, stunned by the way her face lit as she joked with Addie. He felt the hardening in his loins and swore silently to himself, jerking his attention back to the talk of cattle and shifting his position to make his arousal less obvious. Why didn’t she laugh like that more often?
Despite Michelle’s reservations, she enjoyed the party. She’d missed the relaxed gatherings, so different from the sophisticated dinner parties, yacht parties, divorce parties, fund-raising dinners, et cetera, that had made up the social life John thought she’d enjoyed so much, but had only tolerated. She liked the shrieks of the children as they cannonballed into the pool, splashing any unwary adult in the vicinity, and she liked it that no one got angry over being wet. Probably it felt good in the sweltering heat, which had abated only a little.
True to most of the parties she’d attended, the men tended to group together and the women did the same, with the men talking cattle and weather, and the women talking about people. But the groups were fluid, flowing together and intermingling, and by the time the children had worn down, all the adults were sitting together. John had touched her arm briefly when he sat down beside her, a small, possessive gesture that made her tingle. She tried not to stare at him like an infatuated idiot, but she felt as if everyone there could tell how warm she was getting. Her cheeks flushed, and she darted a glance at him to find him watching her with blatant need.
“Let’s go home,” he said in a low voice.
“So soon?” Addie protested, but at that moment they all heard the distant rumble of thunder.
As ranchers, they all searched the night sky for signs of a storm that would break the heat, if only for a little while, and fill the slow-moving rivers and streams. Out to the west, over the Gulf, lightning shimmered in a bank of black clouds.
Frank Campbell said, “We sure could use a good rain. Haven’t had one in about a month now.”
It had stormed the day John had come over to her ranch for the first time, Michelle remembered, and again the night they’d driven back from Tampa…the first time he’d made love to her. His eyes glittered, and she knew he was thinking the same thing.
Wind suddenly kicked up from the west, bringing with it the cool smell of rain and salt, the excitement of a storm. Everyone began gathering up children and food, cleaning up the patio before the rain hit. Soon people were calling out goodbyes and piling into pickup trucks and cars.
“Glad you went?” John asked as he turned onto the highway.
Michelle was watching the lacy patterns the lightning made as it forked across the sky. “Yes, I had fun.” She moved closer against him, seeking his warmth.
He held the truck steady against the gusts of wind buffeting it, feeling her breast brush his arm every time he moved. He inhaled sharply at his inevitable response.
“What’s wrong?” she asked sleepily.
For answer he took her hand and pressed it to the straining fabric of his jeans. She made a soft sound, and her slender fingers outlined the hard ridge beneath the fabric as her body automatically curled toward him. He felt his jeans open; then her hand slid inside the parted fabric and closed over him, her palm soft and warm. He groaned aloud, his body jerking as he tried to keep his attention on the road. It was the sweetest torture he could imagine, and he ground his teeth as her hand moved further down to gently cup him for a moment before returning to stroke him to the edge of madness.
He wanted her, and he wanted her now. Jerking the steering wheel, he pulled the truck onto the side of the road just as fat raindrops began splattering the windshield. “Why are we stopping?” Michelle murmured.
He killed the lights and reached for her, muttering a graphic explanation.
“John! We’re on the highway! Anyone could pass by and see us!”
“It’s dark and raining,” he said roughly, untying the drawstring at her waist and pulling her pants down. “No one can see in.”
She’d been enjoying teasing him, exciting him, exciting herself with the feel of his hardness in her hand, but she’d thought he would wait until they got home. She should have known better. He didn’t care if they were in a bedroom or not; his appetites were strong and immediate. She went weak under the onslaught of his mouth and hands, no longer caring about anything else. The rain was a thunderous din, streaming over the windows of the truck as if they were sitting under a waterfall.
She could barely hear the rawly sexual things he was saying to her as he slid to the middle of the seat and lifted her over him. She cried out at his penetration, her body arching in his hands, and the world spun away in a whirlwind of sensations.
Later, after the rain had let up, she was limp in his arms as he carried her inside the house. Her hands slid around his neck as he bent to place her gently on the bed, and obeying that light pressure he stretched out on the bed with her. She was exhausted, sated, her body still throbbing with the remnants of pleasure. He kissed her deeply, rubbing his hand over her breasts and stomach. “Do you want me to undress you?” he murmured.
She nuzzled his throat. “No, I’ll do it…in a minute. I don’t feel like moving right now.”
His big hand paused on her stomach, then slipped lower. “We didn’t use anything.”
“It’s okay,” she assured him softly. The timing was wrong. She had just finished her cycle, which was one reason he’d exploded out of control.
He rubbed his lips over hers in warm, quick kisses. “I’m sorry, baby. I was so damned ready for you, I thought I was going to go off like a teenager.”
“It’s okay,” she said again. She loved him so much she trembled with it. Sometimes it was all she could do to keep from telling him, from crying the words aloud, but she was terrified that if she did he’d start putting distance between them, wary of too many entanglements. It had to end sometime, but she wanted it to last every possible second.
NOTHING TERRIBLE HAD happened to her because she’d gone to the party; in fact, the trip home had been wonderful. For days afterward, she shivered with delight whenever she thought about it. There hadn’t been any other out of the ordinary phone calls, and gradually she relaxed, convinced that there had been nothing to them. She was still far more content remaining on the ranch than she was either socializing or shopping, but at John’s urging she began using the Mercedes to run small errands and occasionally visit her friends on those days when she wasn’t riding with him or working on the books. She drove over to her house several times to check on things, but the silence depressed her. John had had the electricity turned back on, though he hadn’t mentioned it to her, but she didn’t say anything about moving back in. She couldn’t leave him, not now; she was so helplessly, hopelessly in love with him that she knew she’d stay with him until he told her to leave.