Smiling to himself at the thought that he was now one of those bastards, he went downstairs and into the private dining room where their alpha guests—plus Gabe—would be gathering. Cade and Jax were already there with Marco. Jax smiled at Nicky and gave him a nod.
“Looking good in your new clothes,” Jax said. He did a little pirouette to show off his own outfit, one that Nicky had helped him pick out. “Not as good as me, of course, but you can’t improve on perfection.”
Jax did look good. He seemed happier too since he’d finally grown used to the changes his body had undergone. Nicky felt closer to Jax than anyone here, with the exception of Marco, of course. Jax knew what he was going through—maybe not exactly, since he didn’t have a wolf inside him that wanted nothing more than to kill his own mate—but still he’d been through some of what Nicky was experiencing and had come out the other side. He and Cade seemed to be closer than ever, too. Marco had told him that Jax would be joining them tonight when Nicky shifted, and he was glad of it.
Casey and Rory came in, with Rory sticking close to Casey’s side. Nicky supposed it would be a little intimidating for a gamma to be surrounded by so many alphas, even if one of them was his own mate. He regretted the distance that had grown up between them, and when Rory glanced over at him, Nicky gave him a big smile. Rory blinked a couple of times and turned his head. So much for smoothing things over.
Marco came over to Nicky and whispered in his ear. “You’re sitting next to me, Nicky, with Jax on your other side, if that’s okay. Gabe will be at the other end of the table with Zack.”
“Whatever.” Nicky shrugged and a surge of irritation washed over him. Seriously, did the stupid, overgrown alpha really think he couldn’t control himself around the fucking human? He’d do what he had to do to allay their suspicions and then…
Nicky shook his head to drive away the alien thoughts that sprang into his mind so quickly. He was very afraid he knew exactly where they were coming from. He grabbed Marco’s hand and tried to send him a message with his gaze. They still didn’t have the telepathic connection Jax and Cade had, and no one was sure why it hadn’t appeared yet. Marco squeezed his hand in return, though, and looked a little concerned. Maybe some of what Nicky was feeling had gotten through. Nicky was suddenly very glad Marco had seated him so close.
Gabe and Zack were the last to appear. Gabe was wearing jeans that should have been against the law and probably were in some states. Strategic rips in the back displayed the crease of his ass on one side, along with the back of one knee. His shirt hit him mid-abs and was tight enough to clearly show the jewelry on his pierced nipples, not to mention the ring in his belly button. He was wearing lip gloss and eyeliner, and as usual, he made a spectacle of himself. So much for toning things down.
Nicky stayed close to Marco as Gabe and Zack drew closer, and the wolf inside Nicky moved restlessly at the sight of Gabe’s hand clutching Zack’s.
“Hi Nicky,” Gabe said. “You look…um…nice tonight.”
“Thanks,” Nicky managed and deliberately turned away from him and back to Jax. “I think we’re having fried chicken tonight, Jax. And some of those turnips greens you like, though I can’t for the life of me understand why.” He smiled to show he was teasing, and Jax made a sound of appreciation.
“That’s ’cause you’re not really southern. I don’t count Atlanta.”
“Sometimes turnip greens and ham hock was all we had for supper and it was good too,” Gabe spoke up from right beside him. When had he gotten so close? His scent was almost too much to bear at this range. Nicky leaned farther into Marco and tried to breathe through his mouth.
“Well, let’s eat. All this talk of food is making me hungry.”
A small buffet table had been set up on the side of the room and they filled their plates and took their places at the table. Nicky paid little attention to what was being said. He was too aware of Gabe making a fool of himself at the other end of the table, allowing Zack to offer him a forkful of his salad and once letting Zack kiss away a smear of salad dressing on his face. It was disgusting.
“So Gabe,” Nicky said, looking down the table at him, “what did you do today besides taking a razor blade to those jeans you have on? Or did you get those off some homeless person?”
Rory snorted until Casey poked him in the side with his elbow. Those were the kinds of remarks Rory used to tease both Nicky and Gabe with in the old days.
Gabe tilted up his nose and made a rude sound. “Obviously you don’t know much about fashion, Nicky. Anyone could tell that just by looking at you in those clothes of yours. You can dress a pig in silk, my mama used to say, but it’s still pork. Besides, I happen to love these jeans. Anyway, the weather was beautiful today. Zack and I spent the afternoon at the waterfall, actually. The one you showed me with the rock out over the stream.”
“Oh yes,” Nicky said, cutting off a piece of chicken. “A great place to fuck. I guess Zack rode your ass like the sweet little bitch you are all afternoon then, hmm? Maybe he won’t be up to our after-dinner excursion after all.”
“Nicky,” Marco said in a shocked voice, his face draining of color. Rory laughed out loud and Gabe glared at him, but the other wolves didn’t look at all amused. Each of them was staring at him with various levels of surprise and interest. Zack looked more angry than anything else, and it was he who spoke up.
“As a matter of fact, I did, Nicky. And I enjoyed every second of it. Not that it’s any of your concern what I do with my mate. As for being too tired to go out tonight, not at all. I’m looking forward to it.”
“Cut the shit. Both of you,” Cade said. “There’s not much sense in sitting here trying to pretend to be civilized when these two want to rip each other apart.” He nodded to Marco. “I’m not sure what’s going on, but let’s try to finish our meal and then I think it’s time we went outside and settled this thing. Casey, we’ll need you to accompany us, please.”
Nicky leaned back lazily in his seat. “No matter how many alphas you bring with you, it won’t matter. My wolf is an alpha too, remember. He won’t just let you try to intimidate him. He’ll fight to the death if necessary.”
“Intimidate him?” Zack snorted.
“Constrain? Browbeat? Badger? Coerce? Do you like one of those words better?”
Zack smirked. “Showing off your vocabulary, Nicky? Does it soothe that deranged beast inside you to pretend to be so smart? Or maybe he’s not deranged. Maybe you prefer unhinged, psychotic, demented?”
Nicky shrugged and lifted one eyebrow. “I was going to say cray-cray.”
Marco stood up and threw down his napkin. “Enough of this. I’m calling the whole thing off. I don’t think it’s such a good idea anymore. What the hell was I thinking?”
Cade shook his head. “It is a good idea, Marco. You know that none of us will hurt Nicky or his wolf, no matter what.”
“Actually, I don’t know that. Zack was ready to fight him a few seconds ago, and I’ve already warned you both that I won’t stand by while he’s being attacked.”
The wolf inside the human watched the battle rage around him and glanced down the table to catch Gabe’s eye. When he did, he deliberately and obscenely licked his lips, showing lots of tongue and smiling at him. Gabe flushed and instinctively grabbed Zack’s hand. Zack, who had been arguing with Marco and Cade looked down at him in confusion and then back up at the wolf, who turned the smile on him and batted his eyelashes with all the innocence of a cat with feathers sticking out of its mouth.
“Gabe, go upstairs,” Zack said quietly. “I’ll be back soon.”
Gabe stood up and practically ran from the room. Marco, who had also noticed the exchange with Gabe, reached down and hauled Nicky to his feet. He reached into his pocket for the pill that Dr. Cornsilk had given him earlier. “Put this under your tongue to dissolve,” he said. “It’s the medicine we talked about earlier. It’s time to confront that thing inside you once and for all.
Chapte
r Five
The big, yellow moon leered at them over a smoky cloud as they walked the wide trail that wound around the mountain to Cade and Jax’s lodge. Cade and Jax led the way, with Casey and Zack behind them. Bringing up the rear were Marco and Nicky.
Marco hated this. He knew that despite Nicky’s bravado, he was scared, and he couldn’t help feeling that he was betraying him in some fundamental way that had everything to do with Marco’s admittedly old-fashioned ideas about protecting his mate. He knew Nicky’s wolf had to be confronted again and had to be brought into line if he were ever to become a functioning member of the pack. He knew it, but the thing that was tearing him up inside, the thing that kept repeating in his brain over and over was that he was about to stand by while four other alpha males bullied his mate. It was damn near intolerable, and he wasn’t sure he’d be able to do it.
Nicky needed firmness and understanding, not this. Why the fuck had he agreed to it in the first place? Nicky walked by his side, his face set in determined lines, not hesitating to face whatever was coming. He’d always admired Nicky’s stubborn courage. Sometimes that headstrong nature of his had driven Marco crazy, but underneath it all, he’d been proud that Nicky refused to back down when he thought he was right. Because of Nicky, so much had changed in his pack. Marco had been highly resistant to the changes at first, but Nicky had simply worn him down, and the whole pack was better and stronger for it.
He would never have believed when he first met Nicky that he would end up loving him so much. He’d lusted after him at first, of course. Nicky was beautiful and sweet, in a way, though maddening right from the beginning. Marco had known Nicky was too young, and he’d tried to wait before claiming him, but Nicky’s reckless nature had gotten in the way of his own safety and he’d had to be turned to save his life. At first, he’d fought Marco on pretty much everything. Except for the sex. They’d never had problems in that department. No matter what issues they’d faced over the past few years, they’d always connected in bed. It was only out of it that they had difficulties.
Marco knew Nicky hadn’t been happy since they lost their bloodmatch. He’d tried everything he could to convince him it didn’t matter, but whatever he tried, it never really worked. Nicky continued to believe that one day someone else would come along with a bloodmatch and Marco would leave him. So when the bloodlust had been forced on them, they both welcomed it in a way—Marco, because he hoped it would put an end to Nicky’s doubts, because Marco had no such doubts. Not where Nicky was concerned. Bloodlust or none, he couldn’t live without him. It was as simple as that.
He reached out and touched Nicky’s hand and Nicky glanced over at him and gave him a little smirk. His hurt-filled, stormy eyes told a different story, though. Marco wondered what was going on inside that complicated, beautiful head. He wished for the thousandth time that he had the old connection back, so he could get a read on what he was thinking, though certainly, Nicky didn’t exactly have a poker face.
Marco leaned toward him and murmured softly to him. “No matter what happens, I won’t leave you. I’ll fight with you, if I have to. If it comes to that.”
A flicker of surprise passed across those sapphire blue eyes and he nodded, just once, a jerk of his head. But he allowed his body to brush against Marco’s again as they climbed steadily up the gradual incline.
Ahead of them, Cade stopped and said something in a low voice to the others. He nodded at Marco and stepped forward to stand in front of Nicky, a little too close, trying to menace him with his physical presence.
“Shift, Nicky, and bring out your wolf. It’s time we met him.”
When Nicky didn’t respond right away, Zack came closer and shoved him back against Marco’s chest. “What are you waiting for? You were talking pretty big at dinner. Let’s see what you got.”
Casey grinned at him. “Other than a big mouth. We all know you have that.”
Marco noticed Jax circling around the others, looking nervous. He came to stand beside Marco.
Nicky folded his arms and glared at the three alphas crowding in front of him. “Cue the West Side Story music. Now let’s see, am I a Shark or a Jet in this one? I forget.” He turned toward Marco. “That’s a Broadway show reference by the way, babe. I know how challenged you are when it comes to pop culture.” He leaned around Zack. “You too, Casey.”
Casey growled at him and Marco could see that his incisors had already dropped down from his gums. Casey smirked at Nicky. “Funny boy. You always have a smart remark to make, don’t you? To show everybody how superior you are. How witty. Let’s see how funny you are after you meet my wolf.”
This kind of open antagonism Marco might have expected from Zack. Marco knew he was still smarting over Nicky’s taunting at dinner. But what was with Casey? When Casey first came to the pack, Nicky had been one of his few supporters, urging Marco to take it easy on him, even though he and Casey had a history. In the last few years, however, Casey had been less and less tolerant of Nicky’s interruptions at council meetings and what he termed Marco’s indulgent behavior with his mate. In short, he thought Nicky was spoiled rotten, but now was not the time or the place for him to work out his issues with Nicky. Marco would kill him first.
Surprised at the violence of his own thoughts, he realized he was already beginning to transform. From beside him, he heard a soft whine and saw that Jax was changing too, probably responding to all the testosterone and posturing in the group around him.
“Back off, Casey,” Jax said, his voice garbled with a mouth full of extra teeth. “You too, Zack. It wasn’t supposed to be this way.” He looked directly at his alpha partner, Cade. “Stop this now, Cade. It’s not going to work. I have a bad feeling about it.”
Cade shook his head. “We’ve come this far. Nicky, no one wants to hurt you or your wolf. Transform so we can see him. He needs to learn to be a member of this pack.”
The air around Cade shimmered a little as his body elongated, bony protuberances morphing his form into the shape of a wolf. Cade fell down on all fours, and thick, brown hair sprang up over his body. His face melted and pushed out, reforming itself. His big wolf looked around and focused on its mate as Jax also fell to the ground, fully shifted. The others followed suit until only Marco and Nicky were left standing together, the only ones who hadn’t yet transformed.
“Well, what are you waiting for?” Nicky said, backing away from Marco while keeping his eyes on the wolves standing silently in front of him.
“We’re in this together, baby. I’ll shift when you do.”
Nicky laughed shortly and snarled down at Casey’s wolf, who had stepped aggressively forward, growling at him. Nicky was beginning to transform, his eyes turning yellow, glowing slightly. With a suddenness that surprised Marco, he shifted fully and fell down in front of Casey, nipping at Casey’s flanks, immediately on the attack.
Casey’s wolf, who hadn’t been expecting it, fell back, but then turned and came charging forward again. By this time, Marco’s wolf was in front of Nicky and met Casey’s charge head on, leaping on top of him and forcing him onto his back. Marco’s eyes were full of blood, a haze so thick he could barely see. The sight of Casey attacking his mate had sent him over the edge, and he might have killed him had Zack not ripped into his flank with sharp claws, then pushed him off Casey with his body when his attention was distracted.
Marco leaped back to Nicky’s side, aware that Jax was there too, and the three of them faced off against the others, heads lowered and ears laid back on their heads, saliva dripping from their mouths. Cade’s wolf immediately backed away, its ears back, unable and unwilling to attack its own mate. Zack’s wolf slunk toward Nicky, its eyes filled with hatred, but backed off when Marco and Nicky both lowered their heads and came forward to meet him, Finally, he leaped off the trail and into the bushes. They could hear him scrambling through the thicket as he ran into the woods. Casey followed with one poisonous glare and a growl aimed in their direction, and as quickly as tha
t, it was over.
Nicky’s wolf didn’t retreat, however. Instead it leaped away back down the trail in the direction of the lodge. Marco jumped forward to follow him into the night, leaving Cade and Jax together, facing each other in the moonlight.
* * * *
The wolf, who was inside Nicky, but who was not Nicky, ran headlong down the trail, gaining speed. He wasn’t as large as the big silver wolf behind him, but he could run fast, and he ran now as if his life depended on it.
He wanted only to get away from the others, who would never accept him, never understand him. It had always been that way, since long before he awoke in this body. He couldn’t remember his life before, not really. It came back to him in brief images. Snatches of conversations and sometimes smells that made him remember—something. The beautiful dark-haired boy had been important to him once, but it was hard to remember why. All he knew was that he was possessive and jealous of anyone near him, especially the big alpha Marco whom he hated more than anyone else. Or was it Zack? They all looked so much alike, and things were so mixed up in his brain.
He remembered fighting him once—or had that all been a dream? Whatever it was, it was long ago and almost forgotten until he’d seen the dark-haired boy again. And talked to him. And touched him. It had almost brought the memories back. Almost, but not quite. They were so tantalizingly close, like shining fruit that hung just out of reach. It made his head hurt to think of them.
The big silver wolf had almost caught up to him and when it did, he wasn’t sure what would happen. Maybe he would fight. Maybe he would surrender at last, just give up and let it all go. He was very tired of running.