We continued down the path until we saw more Cambodian civilians all walking together in one road. Everyone looked confused as there were soldiers on either side of the pathway, with a tank right in front and in the back of the line of civilians. They were all moving in one clump all heading towards the same direction, the fields which all the crops gets grown, away from the city. As my family got into the line and started to move along with hundreds of other Cambodians, we saw the line stretch farther than my eye could see. It was an endless line of people similar to the marching of the soldiers instead here, everyone looked confused and tired. There were neither smiles nor laughter; it was just a frown on everyone’s faces. Why did we have to walk, why do we have to leave, are the Americans really bombing Phnom Penh again I thought to myself. The atmosphere around was gloomy and tiresome, even the soldiers riding along the tanks and trucks were serious and had a straight face just looking forward. It was an unusual sight, unfamiliar than the two days before, it was much different than happiness and cheers of winning the war; it was just silent walking on the dirt road.
The sun streaked across our eyes as we saw the horizon, the sun had finally come up after 30 minutes of starting our walk from home. I looked back to see my home, the city that I lived in starting to blur from my vision. The houses starting to become hazy and disappear from my sight, all that was left now was just dirt, grass, and thousands of people. The civilians including soldiers all just looked forward, looking hopeless as we didn’t know where we were going or what we were going to do there. Only the small kids were running around, having fun, unable to carry the luggage or supplies that everyone brought from their homes.
To the far front of me I saw the same green tank as I did the day before, however this time it was fixed and polished. It shined in the reflection of the blazing hot sun and looked brand new. Alongside of the roads were soldiers holding their guns walking along with us to the same destination, an unknown destination. I looked at my dad, mom, brother, and sisters, all looking very sleepy and lifeless. It was just a walk, a walk without a goal, where were we going to stay, where are all of us going to stay.
“Hey Mom, where are we going, do you know?” I asked her as I tugged on her sleeve.
“Son, just continue walking, we will get there soon. Don’t worry; nothing is going to happen to us.” She replied back with uncertainty in her voice.
I looked behind me as I saw Ping struggling to walk even though it has only been half an hour. Considering her age and size, it was likely she couldn’t take it anymore and wanted to stop. She was huffing and taking long deep breaths, it was the first time she ever walked this long or this far. At this point, all I could see from the front and the back were just the same dirt and grassy path on each end. The front of the road was just a row of people walking on the same path all carrying their supplies from home. The back of the road was the identical with just a row of people walking, all carrying their supplies from home. If you were to look closely, you could see that mixed in with the the crowd of civilians, there were soldiers here and there, with tanks spread across the entire line. Looking at it from this point of view, there were more tanks and more soldiers than I could have ever imagined.
Another hour passed after our walk had begun early in the morning. Ping looked as tired as ever walking even slower than before. The only way she could catch up to us was because Sakol was behind her pushing her forward. We couldn’t actually carry her as we were all carrying our clothes with Sakol carrying both of his and Ping’s bags. At this moment, everyone was sweating from the dry air and the heat that scorched the grounds and our body. This feeling was similar to a never ending sauna that continued forever, with the only difference was that we never got to relax.
Minutes later, Ping tried to stop to take a long deep breath when one of the soldiers on top of the tanks pointed their gun at her and shouted. He yelled an order for Ping to continue moving or he will shoot her dead. Everyone who heads the command widens their eyes and looked at Ping. Neither them nor could I believe what we were hearing, just because Ping, a small child, decided to take a quick break, they were willing to shoot her dead. These weren’t criminals; these were soldiers, soldiers from Cambodia, people who swore to protect Cambodians. Listening to them, I wasn’t entirely sure who these people were, they wanted to kill Ping right there and now as if she was just trash. I clenched my teeth when I grabbed Ping by the shirt and pushed her forward. The soldier then lifted back his gun and continued to look straight ahead once again.
“Hey Ping, just keep going or they’ll kill you.” I spoke to her sounding concerned.
“Seang, are they really going to do that, I thought they were kind, I thought they were our heroes.” Ping said as she looked sad and tired trying to move each foot with all her energy.
“Don’t worry Ping; I don’t think they meant they were going to kill you. If they even try, I’ll protect you, you will never die when I’m here. Here, I’ll help you.” Sakol said with his pride in his voice as he picked on Ping and placed her on his back. Now, Sakol was not only carrying Ping, but also the heavy bags full of clothes and food. Not trying to slow down the line, Sakol went faster to catch up with Mom and Dad in the front.
I was staying back when I thought to myself, are they really going to kill us if we don’t follow them. Were they really going to kill Ping if she didn’t continue to walk? What’s happening with them, why did they all change, why did they all get strict and angry? I looked as both my sisters and my brother were already ahead of me when I was behind; I then started to run forward to also catch up with them. I too was also tired just like Ping as I am not used to walking these far distances. It has already been an hour and 30 minutes since I started walking when I started to feel my leg ache in pain. Remembering what happened just recently when Ping tried to stop, I convinced myself to keep on going so that the soldiers don’t yell at me also. I looked ahead and the road kept on going, it never stopped, I wonder how long until we reach the location of where we stop.
Another hour passed as I looked ahead Sakol was getting tired trying to carry Ping on his back and even Lynn and Sophea were starting to get leg pains. Looking even further, I saw my dad who was trying his best to continue walking as he was old and had trouble walking long distances. It has almost been three hours of straight walking and everywhere I looked was all similar, nothing different, and nothing new. The road and path also started to get harder to navigate on as people do not usually walk here, there were bumps in the road and muddy pathways which we had to walk over.
Stepping on the muddy pathway, my whole feet got covered in mud and I was starting to not only get tired but disgusted by the conditions that we were walking in. I wasn’t used to walking in such dirty places, specifically stepping in mud; however everyone else was fine with walking over anything. The sun was already at its peak so the time was around 11:00 in the morning. I started to get hungry as neither I nor my entire family ate breakfast in the morning. The sun kept on getting hotter and the weather kept on getting more uncomfortable as my shirt was drenched in sweat. My belly grumbled as I went over to Sakol to as if he has any food leftover.
“Hey, did you pack anything to eat?” I asked Sakol.
“Sorry, I only packed fruit, I didn’t know we were going to be walking this long. Here you can take this orange, you know how to peel it right?” He teased me as he handed me one orange for me to eat.
I tried peeling it, but it was hard for me since my mom usually opens it for me to eat. It is always prepared nicely every afternoon after we come back to school. I tried my best to peel the orange when I finally was able to see the juicy meat of the orange. Having one bite of the orange, I had an immediate feeling of satisfaction and a flow of energy. It felt like a great boost of power as the sweetness of the orange helped me continue walking. I looked over at Ping to see if she wanted any as she was still on Sakol’s back looking at the trees in the horizon. Ping quickly accepted my offer and she too had a quick reaction as she smiled w
hen she took a bite of the orange. Both Lynn and Sophea didn’t look hungry as they were probably had no appetite after walking for such an extended amount of time.
Another hour passed and it was 12:00, right when we usually eat Lunch. I looked at other people in the line, and saw most of the people didn’t pack any food with them, probably thinking that the trip would take a short time. Looking above, I saw the soldiers having a freshly packed meal and were eating to their hearts extend. I then looked at the front to my surprise, I saw one man looking at the tank above him trying to ask for the soldier to give him some food for him and his family. My eyes grew large as I saw the soldier yelling at the man to shut up, and just continue moving, as he jumped down the tank and took out his gun. The soldier then proceeded to swing the gun and smacked the man across the face. The man looked hungry and tired as he fell on the ground with his face bleeding from the hit of the gun. He looked hopeless and he started to cry, now instead of asking for the food of the soldier, he begged for the leftovers for his family.
The soldier then continued to hit the man with his gun a few more times, before the man grew unconscious from the blow of the gun. Looking at his face, it had a huge cut that stretched from his forehead to his chin and dark red blood started to drip down to the dirt ground. The man coughed a bit and he couldn’t move anymore. At this point, the soldier went back to his tank and got back on to the tank to continue sitting. By the time the family finally realized that their father was on the ground bleeding to death, it was already too late as the man was just on the ground, nobody had a care to help him up. I looked back as I saw the family kneeling down trying to help him up and get back on his feet. I knew it was useless since there was no way, he would wake back up from the strikes of the gun. I started to look disgusted by the thought that one of our soldiers had the courage to kill one of them, one Cambodian, someone they were trying to help. From that moment, I immediately regretted the thought of the soldiers coming back yesterday and marching along the same path. The soldiers all had horrible intentions and were all willing to kill their own kind. A tear fell from my cheek as I quietly said to me “Why, why, why did they kill him? Aren’t the heroes of Cambodia, aren’t they the one to save and protect. They shouldn’t be the ones to kill, I had been lied to. Even our soldiers are our enemies.
I then heard a loud female scream from the back of the line in the same place of where the man had just recently died. Staring closer, I saw it was the wife screaming to her son to not fight the soldiers. The son didn’t listen, he went and started to try and fight against the soldiers who had guns, and he who had nothing. A few moments later, a gunshot was heard all the way from the front of the line, there was no more screaming, no more fighting. It was a horrific scene of bloodshed, tears, and pain from the family. They had just lost their father and their son to the Cambodian soldier.
The walk still continued as we continued to walk for a longer time. There was no stopping. Whenever people tried to question the soldiers of our final destination, they were told to be quiet, or to continue to walk. Whoever disobeyed was then beaten or smacked by the soldier’s gun. In this point of time, many people were too tired to continue and were left to die, most of them couldn’t walk anymore specifically the elders and they were forgotten as the walk continued. There was no sympathy, no kindness, no help; it was just the soldiers sitting on the tanks or trucks, with the civilians and all of Phnom Penh walking and trying their best to carry what they could.
It has been many hours and I had lost track of the time, I looked back and forth and saw that the great amounts of people that had started this trip to walk and get away from the bombings had lowered by at least hundreds or more. I was stunned to see the amount of people that were not able to make the trip on foot due to their inability to walk for great amounts of time. Thinking back to myself, I barely could walk this much not only if I had the food that Sakol had prepared before we left. From the start of the trip people already began to look hopeless, now they look depressed and desperate for the journey to end and to get a rest or a good meal. The sun was already slowly going down and everyone was already tired most tried their best to continue walking forward. The people that stopped along the way were either killed or left behind as said by the soldiers; they do not need any useless people who cannot care for themselves. Remembering that at the beginning of the victory a few days back, I wanted to be just like these soldiers who help Cambodia. I now regret everything I said about their pride and their jobs as soldiers. They are cruel and have no remorse for other people; they are even willing to kill their own people, us, Cambodians.
I looked at everyone in my family, they all had a frown on their face and were exhausted from the long walk, Dad was now holding on to the bags at the end of his fingertips. Even Sakol had to put Ping down in order for her to walk herself since he was getting tired. Due to the conditions of the road and the quality, our feet had bright red blisters and cuts all over. Our shoes were all covered in dirt and mud, and most people took off their shoes along the way. Some even took of their shirts in order to prevent heat stroke due to the strong weather conditions while walking. Along the way, Sakol, Lynn, and Sophea all dropped most of the bags they were carrying in order to make it easier for them to continue the walk. Although, Mom was still holding on to her covered up bag filled with gold as tight as she could not allowing the soldiers nor anyone else to see what was inside.
The soldiers who were riding the tanks were greedy and would not give the people walking, any food or help when we asked. They would either turn us down or tell us to be quiet or hit us until we listen to what they say. This pathway seemed like a road to hell and despair with no light at the end of the tunnel. Even right now, none of us know where we are headed, but after a long period of time, they finally responded with “We will be there soon.”
Looking back, and forth, left and right, everything was just fields beyond fields, grass, dirt, and trees. I wonder where we could stay, how we are able to live here in this place, in this dirt ground. I didn’t even bother to ask my family since it would waste not only their energy, but my energy. I didn’t bother thinking about what would happen and where we went; all I did was close my eyes and hoped for the walk to end.
When the sun was falling going down, the line had finally stopped to a halt. I looked straight ahead and saw that everyone stopped moving and looked at each other confused. Then people starting to move in different directions, the path split into four different sections. After finally understood where everyone was going, I realized that our family was being separated. The adult males, men who are older than 18, went to a different path, boys and girls under 18 went elsewhere, females who are older than 18 were also separated, and finally elders went with another line of people. I was being removed after an enormous amount of hours walked together; I couldn’t meet my family anymore. Everything started happening so fast, I could only hear screams of other kids, cries from mothers, fathers, and siblings. The soldiers tried forcing everyone to be separated, I couldn’t believe my eyes or my ears, it was the sound of pain, sadness, despair, and fear. I wouldn’t be able to meet my mother again, my father again, Sakol, Lynn, Sophea, and even Ping, I will never be able to meet them again. I started to cry loudly screaming as the soldiers tried to pull me away from my loved ones. I looked at my parents as tears started to cloud my vision, they looked back at me and I could see their heart broken into pieces. Not only they, but Sakol, Lynn, Sophea, and Ping were all sad as well, but no one knew what to do. The separation happened so fast that before I could regain my thoughts of what just happened, we were already moving in separate paths. Sakol was by himself, Lynn and Sophea were together, Ping was the road to the right of me, my mom on the road to the left, and my dad at a different path. I asked the soldier with the little voice I had left where we were going and he responded with a sigh and said “You’ll meet them again, this is just a requirement for the beginning, don’t worry.”
The soldier was right bec
ause in 10 minutes later the road connected once again and I saw them once again. A smile jolted across my face and one of the soldiers got on top of the tank and yelled as loud as he could “You are all now awake, soon we will be arriving at our residence.” This message was said across every part of the line all the way from the back to the front. The separation was just to wake us up and make us prepared to stay in a new house in a new home.
Minutes later, the soldier was correct and my family and I were removed from the line and were brought with hundreds of other people to a small wooden home in a field surrounded with trees and other wooden houses nearby. This place was similar to a village as there was multiple houses next to each other, all connected by a small road leading up to a much bigger road which I presumed would be the leader’s home. As three soldiers brought us to our new home, they pushed to the door and said “Get ready. Here is where you’ll stay, get used to it.” The soldiers then left us in front of the wooden house and we all looked at each other confused. The wooden house was small and cramped, and hadn’t been cleaned in ages. It was very different from our house in the city and looked dirty and a disgusting place to stay. I hated it; I wished we were back at home.
Hard Labor