“But I didn’t try to teleport us. I certainly wasn’t thinking about the arena.” Thank God it was empty of people.
“It can be a little temperamental until you get used to it. The arena’s been on your mind the past couple of days, right? So here we are.”
Yes, here we were; bodies pressed together, my legs tangled around his waist, hearts hammering away.
“Um...” I had no idea what to say. Whatever Jared saw on my face made him release an aggravated sigh and move from above me. I, too, stood, and as we stared at each other wearing dubious expressions it made me think of last night after we had broke away from each other.
“I know you only kissed me because you couldn’t get through to me before. I know that. But you didn’t stop, Sam. You could have, because sure enough the kiss served its purpose. Not only did you not stop, but you got that carried away that you teleported us without trying to. So I’m thinking maybe you want me a lot more than what you’re letting on.”
I honestly didn’t know what he wanted from me. Yeah, a shag. But I didn’t get why a shag was all so important. “Jared, why are you pushing this? What is it you want to hear?”
“I just need to understand why you pull away from me.”
Oh – he’s not used to rejection. The idea of someone not wanting him was just incomprehensible to him. Blokes and their egos!
“I know you said that you find me having three consorts a bit weird...But, I mean, what is it that you’re saying exactly? Is it that you want me to get rid of them? That you want to be my only consort? That you want more from me than just sex? What?”
I held up my index finger. “Alright, first of all, I’ll never be anyone’s consort ever again in my life. I thought I made that clear. And I don’t want some fairytale relationship; I couldn’t give that much of myself anyway when I’ve only just got me back.”
“I don’t want a relationship either, so what’s the problem?”
“Jared, I can’t sleep with someone who sees women as possessions. I’ve been doing that for the past three years.”
“I see women as possessions?”
“You have three constantly tucked in a little apartment awaiting your pleasure.”
He sighed and shook his head, still confused. “So...you’re saying that you ignore that you want me because I’ve got consorts? So then you do want me to get rid of them.”
“You’re not listening to me. You see women as possessions – that is the problem.”
He started pacing in front of me. “Why are you being so judgemental about this? I’m not the only one who has consorts. Antonio has them, do you judge him?”
“Antonio isn’t asking me to sleep with him.”
“Half the Commanders have them, most of the security guards have them.”
“Yeah, and a lot of them don’t. Sebastian doesn’t either. Your brother doesn’t.”
He halted his pacing and his irises glowed red. “Whoa, wait a minute, what does my brother have to do with this?”
“I’m just saying -”
“Comparing me to my brother? Who’s scoring the most points so far?”
“Oh don’t be a dick.”
He glared at me for a minute like he was studying me, like he was trying to see through me. And then a smile – it wasn’t a nice one – crept onto his face. “Know what I think, Sam?” He walked toward me stealthily, his eyes narrowed. “I think it’s just been that long for you since your body and your mind responded to someone without any manipulating involved from anybody else that you don’t know what to do. It scares the hell out of you, doesn’t it?”
He was right up close to me now. I’d never seen him angry before. He was unnerving, to be truthful. At the same time as wanting to reach out and calm him, I also wanted to slap him for making me see something about myself that I hadn’t really wanted to see. I was – human years and vampire years added together – twenty-three years old...and I didn’t know how to handle something as basic as desire anymore.
“Maybe,” I allowed. It didn’t seem worth denying it. “Can you honestly blame me for that? Can you blame me for not wanting to feel like someone’s possession anymore? Every single time he touched me I felt sick, dirty, and sometimes I wanted to die. So excuse me if I don’t want to sleep with someone who sees women as nothing but sexual outlets just the same way that he did!”
Jared pointed hard at me and spoke through his teeth. “Hey, I am nothing like him. Don’t ever compare me to him again, or to my brother. I’ll tell you what, Sam” – he said my name with animosity – “I’ll make things easy for you: right now is the last time we’ll ever talk about this. I’ll never come onto you ever again. The bet’s off. You can just get on with your celibate lifestyle and I’ll get on with shagging my sexual outlets.”
He then teleported away, leaving me alone with thoughts that I didn’t want at the forefront of my mind and feelings that I didn’t want to feel. If I – a vampire, a creature that was naturally sensual – couldn’t even cope with desire then I was basically broken, wasn’t I? I hated Victor so much right now. And Jared. Actually, no, I didn’t hate him. I hated that he was so infuriated with me. I hated that he was somewhere thinking bad of me. I hated that I’d hurt him. How could I have compared him to Victor? I hadn’t been comparing him to Evan, or at least not in the way that he was thinking; I wasn’t weighing up who was the better brother to be with. I didn’t want to be with either of them. I honestly just wanted to belong only to myself and not have to be concerned with pleasing other people.
Well, I got what I wanted. So why didn’t it feel as liberating and comforting as it should?
Chapter Six
(Jared)
I hadn’t at all been kidding when I told Sam to go enjoy her celibate life while I went to screw one of my possessions. That’s exactly what I was about to do right now.
I watched as Joy writhed and arched underneath me, moaning and begging me to come inside her. She looked beautiful when she was like this. She had no problem with losing all self-control. She was eager when it came to experimenting. She said – moaned – all the right words. She knew exactly what I liked and exactly how I liked it, and she did it without even being asked to. All of that made her my favourite of the three.
But that wasn’t why it was her who was underneath me. I wanted her because right now – even though I hated myself for feeling it – I wanted to hurt Sam, and I knew she really disliked Joy ‘the twig’. It didn’t make sense that I’d do this considering that I wasn’t exactly going to tell Sam about it. I guess all I was really trying to do was make myself feel better.
Yeah that wasn’t working too well.
Because as much as Joy was beautiful and seemed to have this innate gift for sex, she wasn’t Sam. With that thought my hands halted at the snap of my jeans. My heavy sigh made a slight whistle as it got past gritted teeth.
“What is it?” asked Joy in a whiny voice, looking up at me with a sulky expression.
“Nothing.”
“Well it must be something, you’ve just stopped.”
“I’m just a little worn out, that’s all.” I was drained. Sam had taken a fair bit of my energy in more ways than one.
“Okay well lay on your back and I’ll ride you. I’ll even do the reverse cowgirl if you want.” Her grin was seductive. “We haven’t done that in a while.”
Not a bad idea, actually. Then I wouldn’t have to look at her. Every time I looked at her face, I was just reminded that hers wasn’t the face that I wanted to see. There didn’t seem any sense in cutting short sex with someone just because you were thinking about someone else who you’ll never have like this anyway, but all I wanted to do was leave. Then an idea popped into my head; totally immoral and unethical but appealing all the same. I could ask Joy to do the thing I loved most out of all the things she could do...I could ask her to use her gift of Physical Imitation.
Plenty of times she had morphed into someone else for me. She’d do it now, no quest
ions asked. Sam could be underneath me just like that. Then maybe all this frustration would go away. Maybe half my problem was that I was just too curious about what it would be like with her. Maybe if I got that curiosity cured I’d be alright again.
The thought left my mind pretty much as fast as it came. Having Joy transfigure was always fun; what guy wouldn’t want to sometimes have Jennifer Aniston or Cameron Diaz suddenly underneath them? But in this instance it just wouldn’t work. I didn’t just want Sam’s body. I wanted her – her mind, her blood, her voice, her scent...everything. The whole package. Not in the sense of having a relationship, but in the sense that I wanted all of her to belong to me and only me while she was with me. Joy could look like her but she’d never be her. Whether I liked it or not, it wasn’t just curiosity that made me want Sam. I hated both her and me for that.
So I sighed and did the only thing I could really do: I left Joy on the bed gawping while I grabbed my clothes and, without a word, teleported to the bathroom of my apartment. A cold shower had a way of making me less stressed. I did feel better after it. Less frustrated, less dreary.
Deciding that seen as I was going to dreamland soon there was little point in picking out an energising drink, I retrieved two Lager flavoured NSTs. The first barely touched the sides as it went down my oesophagus. I was a little more civilised with the second, taking little swigs as I passed the kitchen on the way to the living area. That was when I felt it. That tug in my stomach. Every one of my senses seemed to be having a sing and a dance. My senses led me to the balcony. I didn’t open the doors, but I looked down to see what I expected to see: her. She was in the pool. Fully clothed? As she rested against one of the walls of the pool she was glaring up at the moon as though it might answer a question that she wished she didn’t have.
I didn’t go out onto the balcony. I didn’t want her to sense me watching her like she did last time. Besides, I meant what I’d said...I’d never come onto her ever again.
Sucking in a long breath, I started to move away from the window. But then a vision of something snagged my full attention and I wanted to punch that something’s lights out. Slap-head.
(Sam)
Why couldn’t I have just said a big resounding no when Jared had asked for me to feed off his energy? Then I wouldn’t be in this mess at all. I wouldn’t have kissed him again, I wouldn’t have teleported us both to the training arena so we would never have had a big blow out, and he wouldn’t hate me. Amazing how one little decision could have such an effect.
Right now, I really wasn’t impressed. I’d been in my apartment totally brassed off and thinking that I just needed to cool off, and the next thing I found myself at the bottom of the pool! Damn this teleporting shit. I didn’t bother getting out. I’d wanted to have a dip in the pool the minute I saw it. Only problem was that when I thought of the first time I saw it, I remembered how Jared had been swimming in it.
Tonight had been one of the worst nights ever. First I’d had my squad being absolute sods to the point that I’d had to send a blast of air at them to knock them off their feet. Then I’d had to see Victor again. Then I’d killed Victor. Then there’d been that horrible, indescribable agony while my body grieved. Then there’d been all that stuff with Jared. And now I was stuck worrying where this teleporting power was going to take me to next.
I definitely had to stop thinking about Jared in case it took me to him. That’d be bad.
So I thought about the pool. Technically I should then stay where I was. I enjoyed the feel of the water on my skin and how it lapped up against my body. I thought of how weird it had felt swimming just minutes ago, it had been my first time since becoming a vampire and God it was effortless. I didn’t struggle to stay fully afloat no matter how tired I was, I didn’t have to dig deep in myself for the energy to keep going after a few minutes, and nor did I have to wait long before my hair dried. Closing my eyes, I thought about how peaceful it was here in the water alone, and how relaxed my body was becoming, and how –
SPLASH!
I opened my eyes to find Max the Slap-head in the pool. He hollered a noise of exhilaration.
“I’ll say this only once,” I told him. “Fuck off.”
“Now, now,” he said, wagging a finger. “Sure you have your authority when it’s training time. But right now I’m on my own time. And I’m staying.”
“Tosser,” I cursed, too brassed off to take much notice of his bare chest. There had been a lot of bare chests going around tonight.
He came a little closer. “I heard what happened.”
I tensed. A lot had happened tonight so what exactly did he mean?
“Must have been a hard thing to do; killing your Sire.” There was a lot of sensitivity in his voice. I hadn’t thought of Slap-head as the type to have a sensitive side.
“Yeah well he was a dickhead.”
“I heard that too.” His smile was only small but it held all its usual cheekiness. “At the risk of sounding like a pervert, why are you fully clothed in the pool?”
“Ah you sound so disappointed. Had you been hoping that jumping in here would get you a better look at what lies beneath?”
“Oh I can see your assets just fine, don’t worry about it. In fact, with your wet clothes clinging to your skin it’s a really good view.”
I splashed a handful of water at him. He shook it off like a wet dog and then edged even closer, but not too close, which I appreciated.
“I wanted to ask you something.” His tone was serious now. “If you knew that rumours were getting spread round about someone...would you tell them?”
It couldn’t have been more obvious what he was getting at. “What have people been saying about me now?”
“The messengers get shot a lot,” he continued, ignoring me, “so if you were the messenger would you risk getting shot?”
“Slap-head, tell me now,” I ground out.
His eyebrows shot up and a smile crept onto his face. “I’m not telling you a thing until you drop the Slap-head thing. We’re not working now, it’s on my own time, and my name is Max.”
“Either get out of the bleeding pool and leave me in peace or cough up.”
“Is it really that hard for you to say my name? Does it make you shudder or something?” He was even closer to me now. “Or maybe I just make you nervous.”
“You make me want to slap you.”
“Alright, fair enough. People have been saying that something’s going on between you and Commander Michaels.”
I stiffened. Had someone been in the arena who we hadn’t noticed? I played it aloof. “And this rumour is based on...?”
He gave me an incredulous look as though he thought the answer was obvious. “Well, um, there’s how he looks at you. There’s how you look at him. There’s the fact that there’s that much sexual tension between you that it gets us all horny. I mean, come on, you guys can’t even work together.”
“Thanks for the heads-up about the rumour,” I said simply, still aloof.
“Well? Do you wish to confirm or deny these rumours?”
“You know what? No comment. And I’ll tell you why: you lot need to grasp the fact that I’m your superior, not your equal, not your mate. That means my business is my own.”
Max grinned. He’d taken that as a denial, by the looks of things. There was the smallest space between us now. I had to question why I was allowing him to get so close. It wasn’t like I had any intention of kissing him. But, contrary to what he believed, I wasn’t nervous around him. He was easy to be around because he didn’t want to play games or make bets or push on things. He just wanted to have a laugh.
“Okay,” he said. “But like I’ve said, we’re on our own time now. This is just one single person talking to another.”
“What does this single person want?”
He pursed his lips for a second. “Hmm. I guess what I want is to know if when we’re on our own time...we can cancel out each other’s single status.”
His cuteness and smooth voice and the way that he hadn’t come across all corny and pushy almost made me consider it. But I had plenty of reasons not to. “Mates is the best I can do. And by mates, I mean friends.”
Max nodded but didn’t lose his smile. “There’s one thing you’ll learn about me in training tomorrow.”
“What’s that?”
“I don’t give up easy.”
“I’m not playing hard to get,” I told him as he hopped out the pool. “Mates, that’s it.”
“I know you’re not playing. But babe, that just makes you even more of a challenge. You’ve no idea how much I like challenges. You might not have meant to, but you just turned me on big style.”
I had a feeling that he didn’t walk away with vampire speed because he was hoping I’d take a sneaky look at his arse as he strutted off. I didn’t look. I’d already gotten a good look at it at the try-out. It was a nice behind if ever there was one. Biteable.
You’ve just saved his life by saying no, I heard in my head. Jared.
My head immediately snapped up to look at his balcony. He wasn’t out, but I could see him at the window. Seconds later he was out of view, but I’d saw his expression long enough to notice that he was absolutely livid with me. That fact bothered me as I lay there that morning, trying desperately to get some sleep.
After my day’s sleep in the comfiest bed ever, I actually didn’t feel so bad. Yeah, I still felt crappy over everything that had happened with Jared. And I still had mixed feelings over burning alive my maker. But there were bigger problems – like the fact that The Hollow might be attacked soon and the squad had to be prepared. So although I was again a little tempted to hide away in my room, I ignored it.
I thought about trying to teleport to the office but immediately decided against it. God knows where I’d end up. It was odd. Usually when I absorbed someone’s power I could handle it just as easy as I handled my own because I knew exactly how to harness energy and channel it; that was all you needed in order to control and effectively use a power. But I couldn’t seem to grasp how to use this teleporting thing. Thankfully it would fade as soon as I used up all of the energy that Jared had passed on to me.