Since when did I care about things being balanced?
This whole thing was too weird.
I was stood staring at the closed door of her bedroom with my hands slapped against the sides of my head, releasing sigh after sigh after sigh after sigh. Occasionally I’d step toward the door only to then take a step back. I couldn’t help thinking about how she was in there, in bed – naked? – and finally willing to sleep with me. Seriously what the hell was I doing out here?
But then, like a smack to the face, the importance of her wanting me just for me, not comfort, hit home. True, this wasn’t like me. True, being used for sex was never a problem for me before. But, for whatever reason, it mattered to me now with this woman. So, with a strength I honestly had no idea that I had, I ignored the protesting coming from the bulge in my pants and teleported to my own room.
Chapter Ten
(Sam)
Alright, so I wasn’t exactly enthusiastic about leaving my apartment. I’d cursed the setting sun as I rose and dressed. I had no doubt that news had spread of my duelling with Clark and that people would be putting two and two together to theorise what it was all about, and they’d definitely be coming up with five. I wasn’t sure what would bother me more; leaving people to believe rumours that aren’t true, or explaining the entire truth which was something personal to me. I’d already explained it to Jared but I knew he wouldn’t go blabbing about it.
God, Jared.
I wasn’t really eager to see him either. I’d spent God knows how long insisting I didn’t want him that badly, and then I’d gone and tried to seduce him...? I mean, seriously, I was turning into my own worst enemy. I blame him. It was the hug that did me in. I’d relaxed against him and then suddenly I’d felt...well. Engulfed by warmth. Sheltered. His arms had become this kind of refuge. No one had ever held me like that before; so securely, so comfortingly, so possessively. Then after a few minutes, even in spite of everything else I was feeling, there was a thirst for something more, a violent throb of desire low in my stomach.
Thinking about everything as a whole as I made my way to the Command Centre, I had to wonder if he had rejected me to make things even between us, to get his own back. It just didn’t make sense that he would care what had made me want to have sex with him. He was a bloke, a woman-obsessed bloke, and he spent most of any time we were together doing that glaring thing and suggesting we have sex. And blokes say that women are confusing!
Regardless of his rejection, I wasn’t embarrassed by my behaviour. I would have been if I hadn’t known he wanted me and the whole seduction thing had been a gamble, but it was obvious that neither of us walked away satisfied. No way would I blush or act all weird when I saw him; he’d love that. I refuse to allow Jared to reduce me to a nervous, rambling blusher. If it wasn’t for my raging hormones, he probably wouldn’t have much of an effect on me anyway.
Oh who was I kidding? I’m not even at my office and I’m reaching out with my senses to ascertain whether or not he’s inside it. He’s not.
Fletcher spotted me approaching and rose from his seat. If I was in a better mood I would have laughed at his peach cashmere sweater that hugged his body in a very feminine style. In fact, the sweater wasn’t too unlike my own. “Alright, luv, how you feelin?”
“Fine,” I said, nodding. “You?”
“I always suspected you kept your distance from Jared because you’d been in a proper relationship and it went pear shaped.” He offered me a sympathetic smile. “Although I must say I hadn’t thought the bloke had died.”
I ignored the nonsense about any of that affecting my lack-of-a-relationship with Jared. It was Bryce who was the important part of the conversation. “He was great. You’d have liked him.”
“Well if you ever want to have a good gab about it, you just let me know. Alright?”
“Will do.”
“Now, I’ve been instructed to send you straight to Antonio. He wants to see you in the aviary.”
“About what?”
Fletcher shrugged. “I’m just the messenger luv, don’t shoot.”
Antonio had obviously got wind of what happened outside the bar. Had Clark been one of his top security guards? If yes, I was in for one hell of a rollicking. Wonderful. Just what I needed two minutes after waking up. His own point of view might be that it was irrelevant what Clark had done in the past; that if I had wanted to duel with him – one of his employees – then I should have gone to Antonio first for permission. Hopefully it would work in my favour that Clark was the first to attack. If I hadn’t have defended myself against that fireball inside the club I might not be here now.
It wasn’t surprising that people glared as I passed them in the hallway of the mansion. There was no wariness or disgust on their faces. They looked fascinated and approving. I suppose that since not an awful lot happens round here it was probably the biggest excitement they had had in a while.
Like last time, Antonio was staring through the glass of the aviary, admiring the little animals with a glowing smile. Sebastian and Luther were stood slightly behind him, mimicking his own position. They all gave me a nod as I entered, as did Antonio’s two usual bodyguards. The dogs dashed over to nuzzle and sniff me to death.
When I reached Antonio’s side – who was now admiring the animals again – I spoke, “Will I be being sent to bed without dinner, or are you just going to ground me for a while?”
His mouth twitched. “Do you know why I always enjoy our conversations, Sam?”
“Because I’m such a charmer?”
“Because I never know what it is you will say next. You never fail to surprise me.” Luther and Sebastian murmured words of agreement. “I have not called you here to discuss your actions of last night. I knew when I employed you that you were a livewire, and I knew that your reflex to a challenge is to accept it. I am told that the vampire in question attacked first, so I will look upon the incident as a matter of self-defence. This time.”
The message was loud and clear: I’m letting you off with a warning, but don’t go challenging my vampires again unless truly necessary. “Got it.”
“Good.”
“As much as I also enjoy our riveting conversations, I have to ask: what’s with the summons if it’s not to talk about Clark’s unfortunate demise?”
His mouth twitched again. “Has your new gift manifested yet?”
“No, not yet.”
“The suspense is painful,” said Luther.
I turned to look at him. “Are you really that intrigued?”
“No Feeder has ever been given additional power before, no one would have dreamt of it. You are therefore somewhat of a...”
“Science experiment,” I supplied.
“We are keen to observe you, yes. You must appreciate that when one has so much time on their hands and not much to entertain them, the smallest thing can become intriguing.”
The creaking of the door behind me stole everyone’s attention. I swerved to see Jared swooning inside and strolling gracefully toward us like an angel down an altar. As always, it took a lot of control to not gawp at his gorgeousness. Especially when he had that leather jacket on. Feeling a little intimidated, I suddenly became incredibly aware of my own appearance; I didn’t exactly look very appealing in my simple white tank top and my hip-hugging sapphire-blue denim jeans with my hair in a high ponytail. Sigh. Oh well.
It was a good ten seconds before I stopped ogling which meant he’d probably noticed. I will not blush. I will not blush. I will not blush. I didn’t. More so because I was distracted by his confused expression that mirrored my own. He repeatedly studied my face as if for some clue as to what this meeting here was all about. I gave a shrug.
“Sorry I’m late,” he told Antonio after exchanging brief greetings with all the blokes. His dubiousness was apparent in his tone. “I had to find someone to cover the squad.”
“It’s quite alright,” replied Antonio.
Feeling any better today? asked Jar
ed as he positioned himself on Antonio’s opposite side, facing me.
I went for nonchalant. Fine thanks.
He responded with a tiny nod.
“I wanted to speak with you about the Connelly gathering,” Antonio said to Jared.
“What about it?” asked Jared, stuffing his hands in the pockets of his jacket. God he looked so good in that jacket. He’d probably look even better without it and any other clothes on. Not that I’m interested in finding out or anything now that I’m thinking straight again. Honest.
“It is tomorrow night, is it not?”
“Yeah,” confirmed Jared, still dubious.
“And you will be attending, I assume.”
“I do every year.”
Antonio nodded. “I want you to take Sam along with you.”
“What?” asked Jared, almost overriding my “Say again?” I didn’t even know what this gathering was supposed to be, or who the hell Connelly was.
“All those invited are welcome to take a guest,” said Antonio. “From what I remember, you always do so.”
“Why do you want me to take Sam?” Agitation streamed through his veins at the idea; I felt it as if it was my own. Oh, cheers Jared. I couldn’t help snorting.
“It is a very worrying time. Soon The Hollow’s walls will be attacked. You can appreciate why I would wish to take precautions with regards to your safety. And as you do not usually take a personal bodyguard with you, people would find it rather odd if you were to do so this year. If there are any would-be-traitors amongst the guests, this might tip them off to our alertness of the upcoming attack. Up to now, although they may suspect that someone within my counsel has had a vision, they will not be sure. So, I propose that you take Sam along as your guest, let her pose as your consort” – I snorted again, to which Antonio smiled – “or your partner, whichever. Then if you do encounter any trouble, you have her as back-up.”
“Again you’re insisting I need back-up and help and protection,” grumbled Jared. “Antonio, I’m a Master vampire. I have a reputation that means most vampires wouldn’t dream of bothering me. And any that have tried taking me on have only ended a pile of ash.”
“Except me, of course.” I couldn’t resist.
Jared ignored me. “It’s one thing to be concerned about me being targeted, it’s another thing altogether to imply that I can’t handle it myself.”
“This is not about what you can or cannot handle,” insisted Antonio. “This is about taking precautions. You are my Heir, I will do as I must to ensure your safety.”
“Ensure my safety? So you’re saying a young, female Sventé vampire is all that’s needed to ensure my safety. Hey, why not get rid of me and make her the Heir then.”
“Oh we’re back to that crap, I see,” I spat. “Honestly, Jared, you’re like a little kid who doesn’t want to hold Mummy’s hand.”
“It’s nothing personal to you,” said Jared.
“Your last words sort of contradict that. What’s wrong – you don’t want to be seen out with a Sventé?”
Antonio interrupted our dispute. “What if this was Evan, Jared? You know he can protect himself from any threat. But would you want him to go alone while such a threat is live?”
“That’s different,” argued Jared.
I snorted. “Oh, you know what? I’m gone. Antonio, if you want me to go tomorrow night I will. But I’m not staying here to listen to him sulk any more than I have to.”
“Understandable,” muttered Sebastian.
I was in so much of a desperate need to put a large distance between me and Jared that human velocity just wasn’t good enough right now. Vampire speed had me at the office within seconds. I slumped down onto my seat. God, what was so wrong with me in Jared’s eyes that made him so horrified by any idea that involved us working closely together? Oh I was good enough to shag, though, wasn’t I? I’ll take that to mean that he’d shag absolutely anything, even if he loathed it.
Worse still, I couldn’t seem to shrug my shoulders about it all. I told myself I didn’t like him that much. I told myself that what little attraction I had to him was purely physical. But if that was the case, why was I so bothered by what he thought of me as a person? Why did I suddenly care about what he thought of my appearance? Why was I jealous of his relationship, if you could call it that, with his consorts? Why when I needed comfort was he the only one I wanted around me? Why when Max was so cute and sweet and made an effort to spend time with me did I find myself thinking about Jared instead?
Maybe Jared was right: maybe it wasn’t fair to Max that I responded to his flirtatiousness if it was Jared I wanted more. Well, time to remedy that. And not by pushing Max away or attempting any further seductions with Jared. No. Time to rid myself of this craving I had for Jared. Yes, it had somehow, without my even realising it until now, developed into a craving. How was I going to rid myself of that? Easy, because I wasn’t a shallow person and I didn’t believe that looks were more important than personality. So now all I had to do was remind myself of all his bad traits.
Of course there was the obvious one: he was outrageously sexist, even to the extent that he hadn’t been prepared to give me the job I deserved merely because I was female – he wouldn’t even work with me and we had to split the training hours for the squad and train them separately. Number two: he was prejudiced against Sventés, seeing them as inferior to him and horrified at the thought of being seen outside the walls with one. Number three: he placed so little significance in women that they were simply objects to him – objects that he could claim and possess and tuck away in an apartment – and vehicles for his sexual pleasure. Number four: he was so much of a spoilt brat that he sulked whenever things didn’t go his way, even going as far as to barely speak to me for days at a time. Number five: he was so unbelievably vain he couldn’t grasp the concept that a woman might not want to be his consort.
To sum up, he’s a dickhead.
And now my head feels so much clearer. Objective: Forget Jared, concentrate on Max.
(Jared)
Sam wasn’t in the office when I teleported there. She was always in her office during lunch hour, flicking through files and charting the progress of the recruits. It wasn’t exactly cause for alarm that she wasn’t there now, but I didn’t like it. I had apparently gotten so used to knowing where she would be that this simple detail threw me off. I didn’t know where she was. I just really didn’t like that at all.
It would make sense that she wouldn’t be enthusiastic about talking to me right now. I knew I’d hurt her feelings by protesting about taking her to the gathering tomorrow evening. It hadn’t really registered until now that it was possible to hurt her. It should’ve done as I’d glimpsed what she hid behind that frosty exterior; the pain, the anger, and the shame at what her dick of a Sire had done to her. And now I was the dick, too.
It wasn’t that I was ashamed to be seen with her like she thought. Okay, I admit, I didn’t like the idea of everyone staring and whispering and judging, and if it was any other Sventé I’d point-blank refuse to take her. But I didn’t look at Sam and see a Sventé. I saw a strong, determined, wilful, gorgeous, good-hearted person. A good-hearted person who I’d just hurt.
I had to see her. Not that I was going to say sorry or grovel. Pride and all that. But the idea that she was somewhere thinking horrible shit about me or upset because of what I’d said...I just didn’t like it. It was probably just that I knew it would make me getting her to admit that she wanted me even harder. Yeah, that’s all it was. It wasn’t like it could be anything else. Feelings weren’t something I experienced when it came to women. I just didn’t seem to function that way.
I guess that makes me seem cold, but after watching the way my parents were – arguing, brawling, cheating – I had never been able to see the point in relationships. Evan was the opposite of me. Witnessing the messed up marriage that our parents had had only made him want to seek out the right woman and not settle for someone the
way our parents had. Personally, I didn’t think there was a right woman for each and every guy. You either cared about them or you didn’t, and it either lasted or it didn’t. Like Sam said, sometimes you love someone for a little while and then it’s over.
Odd how much it bothered me that she once loved someone. I wouldn’t have thought it was possible to be jealous of a dead person. I couldn’t even work out why I was experiencing jealousy over it at all. Nothing I felt or did when it came to Sam made much sense. I still couldn’t believe I’d walked away from her offer of sex last night. Evan would laugh his tits off if he knew. That was why I wasn’t planning on telling him.
Shaking my head at myself and my inability to explain my weird responses to this woman, I picked up the phone and called Fletcher using the internal line.
He answered immediately. “Yes, Commander?”
“Fletcher, do you have any idea where Sam is?”
“Sam?” He sounded uncomfortable. “Well, er, Max came to take her out for something to eat for lunch.”
My jaw suddenly hurt, and I realised I was grinding my teeth together. “Okay, thanks Fletcher.”
Max had taken her out for lunch? Motherfucker. I was really going to end up seriously hurting that guy. I’d never before felt threatened by another guy when it came to women. Mostly because it didn’t really matter to me if the woman wasn’t interested, there were plenty more strutting around. It wasn’t really much different from me browsing through a shopping mall with a vague idea of what I might like and then choosing an outfit to try on for size.
This time it was different. Sam was different. I didn’t want a woman like her, I wanted that woman. But if all I was doing was just trying her on for size and had no sense of ownership then that meant other people could try her on for size too. And that nettled more than I’d have expected it would have. In which case Max really needed to get the hell out of the picture. Could she be right and my ego was really that swollen that I couldn’t stand the idea of someone else beating me to it? It had to be that.