Wait.
If he did, so what? I was allowed to go to a game. He didn’t have a say in what I did in my free time. “Do not go down that path,” I warned myself.
“What path? What path am I going down?”
“Not you, Rach. And yes, I will go to the game.”
“Yay! Okay, Jeff and I will meet you at the entrance at six thirty. Do not eat before the game. I intend to buy copious amounts of junk food and beer and you will join me so I don’t feel so bad about it.”
I grinned, suddenly feeling a whole lot better now that I had concrete plans for the weekend that didn’t involve Caine. “Hot dogs are on me.”
There was a mixture of guilt and mischievousness in Rachel’s eyes as I walked toward her and Jeff. They stood outside the busy entrance to Fenway Park and they were not alone.
Crushing my irritation with them, I managed a smile of hello as I approached.
Rachel’s eyes bugged out and I caught her silent Please don’t kill me message.
But I wanted to. I really, really wanted to.
They’d brought another guy with them.
A date.
For me.
I hadn’t bothered to tell Caine what my plans were for the weekend because he hadn’t asked. After I’d gotten off the phone with Rachel, Caine returned from lunch and perched his ass on the corner of my desk.
“How’s it going?” he said, seeming genuinely interested
“Fine.” I tilted my head to the side and smiled. “You?”
His eyes warmed for the first time in days. “I’m fine.” He looked away. “I’ve been really busy and I know we haven’t …”
I put my hand on his thigh. “Don’t worry about it. I knew going into this that you’re a busy guy.”
“Right.” His fingertips brushed over the hand that rested intimately on him. “I don’t know when I’ll be free. Perhaps Sunday?”
I shrugged, like it didn’t hurt me that I was that far down on his list of priorities. “Call me when you’re free and we’ll see if I am and then we’ll go from there.”
Caine smirked. “You’re being very amenable.”
I squeezed his thigh. “I’m just giving you what you want.”
He frowned at that, suggesting he didn’t like my response, but eventually he nodded. He shot a look over his shoulder to make sure the coast was clear and then he leaned in to press a soft kiss to my lips. His soft kiss suddenly turned hard and he gripped the nape of my neck as his tongue slipped into my mouth. The kiss ignited into something hungry and arousing, and it took me a moment to remember where we were. I pulled back, panting.
Running a hand through his hair, looking consternated by the kiss, Caine stood up, gave me a disconcerted half smile, and disappeared into his office.
I stared at his closed door, wondering when I had become such a good actress.
The reality was I shouldn’t feel bad that I’d allowed myself to be duped into a blind date, but as I shook the hand of Jeff’s work colleague, Charlie, I felt like I was doing something wrong by allowing this to play out. Caine and I had agreed to be exclusive.
Charlie was tall and he was attractive in a guy-next-door kind of way that was really appealing. He had a great smile and if I hadn’t been currently trying to win over Caine Carraway’s heart, I would have been happy to be set up with Charlie.
The guys went through Security first and Rachel clung to my arm as we followed after them. “Please don’t be mad at me,” she whispered. “Charlie saw your picture in the wedding photo on Jeff’s desk and asked about you. Jeff doesn’t know anything about Crazy Boss Guy, and when he suggested it I thought it might be good for you.”
I kept smiling because Charlie was throwing me looks over his shoulder every now and then, but I was pissed. “You don’t get to make those decisions. Caine is probably at this game.”
“So what?” she snapped.
I looked away, drinking in the sight of all the vendors underneath the bleachers, and inhaling the smell of fast food, popcorn, and beer. People sat in benches outside the vendors eating and laughing. There wasn’t anything quite like the atmosphere at Fenway, and I realized that one of the reasons I loved coming here was that it gave me that feeling family was supposed to give me—that warmth, that unity. It was a sweet place to be on game night.
“You’re mad.”
“Yes,” I admitted. “Caine and I may be—”
“Nothing. You and Caine are nothing.”
“Not true.” I scowled. “We’re exclusive.”
She sighed. “Look, even if he’s here, so are at least twenty thousand other people. I’m pretty sure there’s a snowball’s chance in hell he’ll see you, considering he’s probably up on EMC level.”
My expression confirmed her suspicion.
“Good. Now that that’s out of the way, come and let Charlie buy you a beer and a hot dog.”
Under silent protest I went with her.
Charlie smiled his cute smile and waved to the nearest hot dog vendor. “Can I buy you dinner?”
Guilt slammed through me. This was so a date. I couldn’t even pretend it wasn’t. Bad, Lexie, bad, bad, Lexie. I glanced over my shoulder, certain that at any moment Caine would appear and make me feel even worse. “You know what?” I gave Charlie a friendly smile (there would be no flirting or encouraging of the flirting!) “Why don’t we just take our seats? The vendor guys run up and down the field box every few minutes. We’ll just grab them then.”
“Sounds like a plan.”
We started walking back the way we came, turning right under the bleachers toward our field box. Rachel and Jeff settled back, giving Charlie space with me. I could have punched them both.
“So … Rachel says you’re a personal assistant?” He stuffed his hands in his pockets and threw me a coaxing smile.
There was something about his manner that suggested he was nervous.
Great.
I felt even worse.
“Uh, yeah.” I was not getting into that. “What do you do?” Jeff worked in advertising, but I knew from listening to him that there were a lot of different job positions in the agency.
“I’m with the art department.”
“Oh, that’s great. I always wished I’d spent more time on art at school. I enjoyed drawing, but that’s as far as my skills go.”
“You’re creative?”
I thought about it. “I don’t think I’m creative per se. Organized. Very organized. And I think I have a good eye. You know, I always wanted to be an events planner and combine the two.”
He shrugged. “So why don’t you?”
“Don’t I what?”
“Be an events planner.”
I laughed. “Like it’s that simple.”
“All you have to do is get that one great client to give you a shot, and a glowing reference could kick-start your company.”
I stared at him incredulously. “I don’t think it’s that easy.”
Charlie smiled. “I don’t think you know if it’s that easy. You’ve never tried to give it a shot.”
“Because I’m a personal assistant. I organize things for one person.”
“Caine Carraway.” He nodded and just hearing the name sent another shard of guilt stabbing into my gut. “If you can organize the life of someone as prominent as Carraway, you can organize a party or two.”
“We just met and you’re already giving me career advice. How did that happen?”
“Sorry.” He shot me a sheepish look and flicked his silky brown hair out of his blue eyes. So cute. It was a definite shame we hadn’t met months ago. “I have a tendency to do that. I should have been a guidance counselor.”
“It’s okay,” I reassured him. “I’m used to getting advice about my career.” Or at least I’d grown used to hearing all about it from Grandpa and Rachel since I started working with Caine.
Charlie’s gaze questioned my enigmatic comment, but before he could say anything Rachel bounced in between us l
ike an excited teenager. “This way!”
I chuckled and threw Jeff a look.
He shrugged. “She gets like this when we have a babysitter.” He grinned and strode after her up the concrete slope into the light of the bleacher stands.
“After you.” Charlie gestured.
I blinked against the late-afternoon sun, and then spotted Rach and Jeff heading left toward the field box. I didn’t wait for Charlie to catch up before taking off after them. I wanted to be clear in the most diplomatic and least cruel way possible that this date was a nonstarter.
When I took my seat beside Jeff, I ignored the sight of a bunch of people getting their picture taken at home plate with the Red Sox mascot, Wally the Green Monster, and waited for Charlie to take his seat beside me. He got settled in, smiled at me, and let his eyes drift down over my legs. I was wearing a Red Sox girly-fit T-shirt and jean shorts.
Practically my entire body was blushing by the time he was done checking me out.
And that was when I decided the least cruel way was the most honest way.
I leaned into him and Charlie smiled and ducked his head toward me so he could hear me over the crowds and the guy talking into the mic about a charity foundation. “I didn’t know about tonight.”
He frowned. “About me?”
“Yeah. Rach didn’t tell me.” I could feel Jeff stiffen beside me as he overheard.
Charlie grimaced. “Is it a problem?”
I gave him an apologetic look. “I’m kind of seeing someone … I mean it’s … I don’t know what it is but—”
He held up a hand and gave me a disappointed smile. “I get it. Really, it’s no problem.”
“I’m sorry.”
“You have nothing to be sorry about,” he assured me. I smiled gratefully at him. Such a seemingly sweet guy. What the hell was I doing? “You’ve still got to let me buy you something to eat, though. No strings?”
“You know what …? I think we should make Rachel do that.”
“I concur,” Jeff agreed beside me, and I looked at him to see he was not happy. Apparently Rachel hadn’t told Jeff I didn’t know about the setup either.
“I couldn’t,” Charlie insisted. “My mother would kill me if I let a woman buy her own dinner.”
I chuckled. “Isn’t that a little outdated?”
“Probably.” He grinned. “But she’s terrifying, so I do what she says.”
I nudged him with my arm. “Okay, then, I’ll have a hot dog, please.”
“Hot dogs! Hot dogs! Get your hot dogs!” a burly guy in a yellow vendor’s shirt bellowed from behind us, skipping down the steps with his hot case of dogs held above his head.
We burst out laughing. “Nice timing,” Charlie said, and lifted a hand to catch the guy’s attention as he turned at the bottom of the box.
Two hot dogs and a cold beer later, we were thirty minutes into the game and the Red Sox were killing it. The electric atmosphere of the crowded park fed into me and like always made me forget even the slow moments in the game.
“I have to get one of those shirts!” Rachel reached across Jeff to slap my knee. “The replica baseball shirts.”
“Why don’t you try the team store?”
“I want a girly one, though. My breasts will get lost in the guy’s one.”
I couldn’t remember seeing a feminine style of the shirt in the store. “Online?” I suggested.
Instead of answering, Rachel looked over my shoulder and her eyebrows rose. I glanced back to see what had distracted her.
A tall, well-built older man in a Red Park Security shirt was staring down at me with this deeply disturbing blank mien. “Alexa Holland?”
I ignored Charlie’s curious gaze on my face and wondered what the heck I’d done wrong. “Um … yes,” I was almost afraid to admit.
“Mr. Carraway requests your presence in his suite on the EMC level.”
Holy …
I blanched.
How the hell had he spotted me in this crowd?
As if he could read my mind, the security guy pointed up behind me. I looked up over my shoulder. Caine’s suite was right above me.
Of course it was.
I sighed.
“You don’t have to go, Lex,” Rachel shouted over the noise.
I threw her a look. “Yes, I do.” If he’d seen me with Charlie I could only imagine what he was thinking. After telling them I’d catch up with them later, I followed the security guy out of the field box. I stewed over what kind of reception I was about to get, and what would bother me more—Caine not trusting me or his indifference.
As soon as the security guy swung open the door to Caine’s suite, I was taken aback to see Caine was not alone. Effie and Henry were there, among familiar faces from work. Effie came hurrying over to hug me close, and the guilt I’d been feeling dissipated under my anger.
He’d invited all these people to watch the game and he hadn’t invited me.
Not until he’d seen me there with someone else.
“You look hot, kid.” Effie grinned up at me.
I smiled, pushing my ire back down. “As do you.”
She made a “pfft” noise at me as Henry stepped up to say hello. He looked different wearing his Red Sox shirt and jeans. More approachable. Gorgeous. “I got banana cream pie,” he announced, and I laughed. I’d managed to talk Effie into easing up on Henry.
Effie rolled her eyes, but she was smiling as she engaged an older couple in conversation.
People waved who recognized me and I smiled politely back, letting Henry edge me closer to Caine. He was standing on the balcony, his back to me as he watched the game. He looked remote out there, even surrounded by so many people.
My anger drifted away.
He liked it this way. He liked to be alone even with so many others around him.
But I was beginning to think he was unable to be alone around me … and I realized then that was why he’d never invited me to share the game.
Until he’d seen me there. With someone else.
“Better go say hi to the boss.” Henry winked at me.
Although Caine hadn’t told a soul about our relationship, I knew Henry had very definite suspicions that something was going on between us. Other than Effie, he was the closest thing Caine had to family. And he was a smart man. He knew Caine well enough to note changes in his schedule, his demeanor, and his attitude with me.
Feeling butterflies flutter to life in my belly, I strode out onto the balcony and settled in beside Caine, keeping a few inches of space between us. I glanced up at his profile, hating the way those butterflies went crazy just at the mere sight of his face. “Hey.”
“Who are they?”
I flinched at the coolness of his tone. “Friends. A college friend and her husband and his colleague.”
“You didn’t think it was important to mention you’d be at the game tonight?”
His words were quiet, but I could feel the tension emanating from him, and my own frustration and irritation started to build again. “You didn’t tell me you were coming to the game.”
“I have season tickets. You know this.”
“You don’t always go to the game,” I argued softly.
“I don’t care that you came to the game.” He finally looked at me, anger in his dark eyes. “I care about the guy who is all over you.”
I should have been thrilled by his jealousy, but I wasn’t. Not anymore. I was sick of the uncertainty between us. “Rachel set up a blind date and didn’t tell me. I told him right away that I’m … seeing someone.”
“I don’t think he got the memo.”
“And you can tell that from up here?”
Caine suddenly leaned into me, clearly forgetting where we were and that we had an audience. “I saw you weren’t doing much to dissuade him.”
I looked pointedly over my shoulder, silently reminding him where we were.
He pulled back, his jaw clenched as he stared forward again.
/> I edged close enough to him so he would hear me without anyone else overhearing. “I wasn’t encouraging him, and honestly this whole possessive bullshit is pissing me off.”
Caine threw me a cutting look, but I refused to be intimidated. “I’m not the only one who gets jealous,” he reminded me.
“No, you’re not. And do you know why we’re acting like crazy people? Because you’re not willing to give the whole ‘friends’ part of our deal a real shot. There is uncertainty between us because you keep throwing up this wall.” I looked over my shoulder again, double-checking that no one was near us. My gaze returned to meet his. No more games. No more tactics. Honesty. It was all I had left. “This isn’t just sex, Caine. This is an affair.” I held my hand up to stop his coming protest. “I’m not suggesting permanency. I’m suggesting that you admit that there’s a difference in what we’re doing here. We aren’t two people who just have sex now and then. There are feelings here whether we want to admit it or not. I’m not asking for forever. I’m asking you to stop pushing me away. I’m asking you to be real with me for however long this lasts.”
His eyes blazed. “And if I don’t?”
My knees trembled. “Then I think we should end it.”
He exhaled and looked away again.
Time to be even braver. “I don’t want to end it. I don’t think you do either.”
“And what makes you think that?” he drawled lazily, and I almost believed his indifference.
Almost.
“We’re not done with each other.”
After a few seconds Caine looked at me again and I saw the heat and longing in his eyes. “No, we’re not.” We held each other’s gaze for a few moments and that burn of desire started to pool low in my belly. “So, what exactly do you suggest, Lexie?”
I smiled slowly. “Spend the day with me.”
He blinked in surprise. “Spend the day with you?”
“Anywhere I choose. Spend the day with me and just be my friend for a few hours. Afterward I promise to bang your brains out.” I grinned.
Caine considered my suggestion and then chuckled before looking back out at the game. “Deal.”
CHAPTER 18
My toes sank into the sand and a gentle breeze from the ocean cooled my cheeks against the hot summer sun.